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News & ArtsFriday, February 5, 2010
Sports Super Bowl Parties. . . who to root for?
Posted by Chicago Fan on Fri, Feb 5, 2010 at 12:24 PM
Super Bowl Sunday is an unofficial American holiday—and the Monday after should be one too. Everywhere across this great nation, this Sunday afternoon people will turn on their bridge of the Enterprise-sized TV's, set out bushels of amber waves of grain converted to salty snack foods, crack open shining seas of booze and have family and friends over to eat like swine, drink like fish and discuss the All-American topics of organized hyperviolent entertainment (the game) and commerce (the ads).
For folks not from Indianapolis or New Orleans, though, one question must be answered: Who to support? Without a rooting interest in one team or another, the game can be as empty as watching more porn when you're all done masturbating. Sure, you might remember it later, but in the moment, it's not all it could be.
Dan's already said it from the whole gay political angle, but I'll say it too: New Orleans is America's team. Fuck the Colts. (Then Mudede can do a movie about it?)
My reasoning? Simple: which city would you rather live in? Even post-Katrina New Orleans is a better, more fun place, than Indianapolis on its best day. Food? New Orleans has the best food in the country, while Indianapolis is reputed to be the place where the Kraft Singles on Wonder Bread with Mayo sandwich was invented. Music? Jazz and Cajun v. Country and Western. History? America's true melting pot of European and African and Native American influences v. the home of the 20th Century Klu Klux Klan. Mardi Gras v. . . .well, Indy has NOTHING of the same magnitude of Mardi Gras for the sake of comparison. Yeah, New Orleans' infrastructure might have too much in the way of water and all—and Indianapolis is the largest city in the world not on a navigable waterway as its only worthy native son, Kurt Vonnegut, pointed out. But it's still all Saints for anyone with eyes or brains or a heart.
Other reasons? Peyton Manning is a soul-less robot, the Colts beat the Bears three years ago, and Indiana is the home of Notre Dame, the douchebaggiest team and fan base in all of college football, which is like being the most evil of all Nazis. It'll be a shoot-out, but if there is a God: Saints over Colts, 45-36.
I'll be liveslogging from Bruno's on Chicago's Far North Side, where we'll be living the dream: coolers full of reasonably priced booze, a Weber Grill on the sidewalk, sausages from AJ's Meats, Bari Foods, the Romanian Kosher Butcher, and other fine purveyors of encased meats. If you're reading this in Chicago, drop on by.
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Louisiana was a blow-out for McCain/Palin.
Also, I can't root for a team with Jeremy Shockey and Reggie Kardashian on it.
On a separate note, I think Phoenix is both larger and not on a navigable waterway.
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Indianapolis's metro area is also piddly; while the city is 14th largest, the MSA is only 33rd, smaller than Seattle's, and nowhere near DFW or Phoenix.
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You think most of the Saints season ticket holders are from Orleans Parish? Or from the surrounding counties that are deep, deep red?
These are your Saints fans right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJzbIt37F…
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Back in the day, I went to Hawks games in the Kingdome. Nosebleed seats, as I was just out of college & broke all the time. I encountered fans from SD, KC, LA & NO. (This was the 80's, remember.) The SD fans didn't know sh*t about football, they just liked to get drunk. The KC fans were defensive & snarky, although they knew their football & obviously supported their team, do-or-die. The LA fans were the worst piece of human excrement imaginable. The NO fans.... Wow.
The only seats I could get were in the middle of the Saints booster section. Those folks put the Fanatic in Fan. Not a single member of their entourage was dressed in anything but black & gold. They drank like fishes. They loved everybody. They never stopped talking to us, offering us swigs from their flasks, cheering every time the Saints made a play, turned to us whenever the Hawks made a play & said "Wow! I bet that makes you happy!" w/ a slap on the back & a grin. (That was the game that Stouffer set a rookie QB record for passing yards.) That was definitely the greatest football game I ever went to, and I've been a Saints fan ever since.
Go Saints!!!
15
Go Colts!
Indy does have the Slippery Noodle Inn - what else ya' need fucker?!!??
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I do understand the love for the "underdog" Saints (are they still underdogs if everyone wants them to win?) But I have to say, the level of class shown by the Who Dat crowd (ooh, a Nazi comparison--zing!) makes it a lot easier to look forward to crushing their dream. At least they'll have plenty of opportunities to drown their sorrows at Mardi Gras; we'll have to make do with a celebratory coffee at Steak & Shake.
As for the Saints themselves--they're a truly classy team (with the exception of Jeremy Shockey). They deserve better fans.
19
People are douchebags. It's hard for me to see how ND is any more douchebaggy because they (a) were once a good team (b) won't join a conference for financial reasons and (c) have a contract with NBC.
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So I'm rooting for the Colts, whom I happen to have at 15-1!
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I don't think I'm better, just hopelessly different.
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Also, NBC's coverage is nothing less than fawning every single week. When they beat (a very mediocre) UW team this season you would have thought Ara Parseghian himself had trundled on down to the 50-yard line to inspire them to victory. Ridiculous. Not to mention they have a free mouthpiece over at ESPN in the personage of Lou Holtz, who has now spent far more time not being a Notre Dame coach than his stature would indicate. This is also how they can continually make the preseason polls and stay ranked through the season even when they have marginal records that would have knocked out a less visible school weeks before. But, for all that, when was the last time they actually fielded a competitive team?
Lastly, it's kind of like the Yankees, Cowboys, or Duke basketball. The legends and mythos are forced down everyone's throats to make it easy for someone to just say they are a fan of Notre Dame and pledge allegiance to its status as "America's college team" (to coin a phrase) and buy the merch without actually having to be invested or even interested in any actual season-by-season results. Don't get me wrong, as a college football fan, I respect their tradition to a point; they are the second winningest program out there and have a devoted fanbase. Unfortunately, that devotion tends to drift towards delusion and annoyance more often than not.
Mark
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