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News & ArtsMonday, February 1, 2010
City / Life Passive Aggressive Note?
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 1:04 PM
Or aggressive aggressive?
Whichever it is, it's clearly not an effective note. I found it on 4th Ave., downtown, near the front door of an apartment building and... there's dog shit everywhere. Around the tree, on the ground, all over the sidewalk. And it's all right in front of the entrance to this particular apartment building. Lazy dog owner who doesn't want to walk more than four steps out of the front door? Or is some evil genius dog owner waging psychological warfare on someone who lives in this building? Whichever it is, I fully expect that this conflict to end with shots fired, a dead dog owner, and more missing apostrophes.
2
It may be passive-aggressive, but who has time to wait around for an asshole owner to leave his dog's shit? Sometimes confrontation just isn't practical.
4
Do you mean a dog owner who is now dead, or an owner of a dog who is now dead?
And the term "Passive-Aggressive" has lost all meaning, due to its universal misuse.
And the term "Passive-Aggressive" has lost all meaning, due to its universal misuse.
5
"Passive-aggressive?" As opposed to what? "Pick up your dog's shit or I'll blow your fucking brains out, asshole?"
7
Had two family dogs poisoned by an asshole neighbor somewhere in my old neighborhood. When you're a kid watching your dogs die an agonizing death by poisoning it rips a big chunk out of your soul.
8
Thank you for mentioning the missing apostrophes. My first response to this note was, "Apostrophe foul!"
9
Dan, MAYBE THAT'S WHY THEY LEFT THE NOTE THERE. Because the shit was already present? L2causeNeffect.
10
For all the official signs similar to that note that I've seen, never have I heard of someone being fined for not cleaning after their mutts. Quite the opposite I've had my front yard flowers ruined by one. It took some ingenuity on my part and confronting the asshole owner to put and end to it.
11
@7, if you let your dog shit out in from of your building repeatedly, and never picked it up, you deserved it.
12
Fnarf, poison is a tad harsh although I totally agree with the sentiment you state. Any one giving you grief is selfish and thinks only of their needs and not the dog's. Shame on them.
I first use a big o'rat trap with some bacon on it. When the dog goes yapping away it will learn the lesson about that spot. If that fails I use the strongest laxative on the market. Two pills in a fist full of hamburger will let the dog owner know that dog shit, on the carpet inside the house is just as ugly to clean up as their lovely dog's shit is when planted in someone's yard.
It's the owner that is being trained here not the dog so Fnarf, don't kill the messenger of the "calling card". Cuz when ya gotta go ya gotta go!
That sign is neither passive nor aggressive it's desperate.
I first use a big o'rat trap with some bacon on it. When the dog goes yapping away it will learn the lesson about that spot. If that fails I use the strongest laxative on the market. Two pills in a fist full of hamburger will let the dog owner know that dog shit, on the carpet inside the house is just as ugly to clean up as their lovely dog's shit is when planted in someone's yard.
It's the owner that is being trained here not the dog so Fnarf, don't kill the messenger of the "calling card". Cuz when ya gotta go ya gotta go!
That sign is neither passive nor aggressive it's desperate.
13
I second the laxative suggestion. It's also the perfect way to ensure that the shit doesn't end up outside.
14
OK, OK, laxative, not poison. Gimme a minute, I gotta figure out a way to get the poison in the owner instead. "Hey, neighbor, you look like you've been working hard watching your dog shit on my doorstep, how about a nice cold brewski?"
15
What kind of sign should I leave?
I live by the zoo and one constant problem in my neighborhood involves parents who change their baby's diaper and then decide they don't want the stink of shit in their car. So, they leave these neat little bundles of shit on the side walks and curbs for me and my neighbors to clean up. It is nasty. I don't have kids so why in hell should I pick up your kid's shit? The worst was the other day when the used shit smeared wet-ones weren't packed in the diaper but left on the ground next to it. I can always tell when spring is here because the bundles multiply at a phenomenal rate.
I still haven't figured out the best sign to tackle this. Maybe a few suggestions?
I live by the zoo and one constant problem in my neighborhood involves parents who change their baby's diaper and then decide they don't want the stink of shit in their car. So, they leave these neat little bundles of shit on the side walks and curbs for me and my neighbors to clean up. It is nasty. I don't have kids so why in hell should I pick up your kid's shit? The worst was the other day when the used shit smeared wet-ones weren't packed in the diaper but left on the ground next to it. I can always tell when spring is here because the bundles multiply at a phenomenal rate.
I still haven't figured out the best sign to tackle this. Maybe a few suggestions?
16
Is anyone sure that it's actually dog shit befouling that area? Lotsa stray humans living on the streets of Seattle. Remember, when dealing with strays, human or canine, Do. Not. Look. Them. In. The. Eyes.
17
@15: Head shot using a high powered rifle with a scope. Overkill? Perhaps, but it'd take only a couple of fatalities to get your message across.
22
@ 15, start a little neighborhood patrol. All you need to do is walk the sidewalks and make sure the families loading and unloading their cars know they're being watched. No one will EVER litter like that if someone is watching them.
23
As one who has an offspring in the poop-packet-making stage, my apologies to anyone who has to endure that shit (figuratively and literally).
Whether a dog owner or a child-rearer, abandoning fecal waste for others to clean up sends the message, "It's all about me, me, ME, and my adorable child/pooch. Fuck you."
'Leave no trace'-type of dump management is easy and civilized.
PICK UP YOUR DOG'S/KID'S POOP, PEOPLE!
Whether a dog owner or a child-rearer, abandoning fecal waste for others to clean up sends the message, "It's all about me, me, ME, and my adorable child/pooch. Fuck you."
'Leave no trace'-type of dump management is easy and civilized.
PICK UP YOUR DOG'S/KID'S POOP, PEOPLE!
24
Yeah, people who don't pick up their dog's shit (or their baby's... ew) are pure evil. But, anything like a rat trap or a laxative sucks because it's not going to discriminate between dogs / owners who do and don't pick up the poop. Not picking up poop is relatively easy to get away with, which is why if you actually do see someone not picking it up, you've gotta yell at them and embarrass them.
A sign that says "we're watching you" or "there's an $x fine for not picking up after you're dog and we WILL call the police" might be more effective. Or, you could be a little more practical. One big condo building near where I lived in Chicago got so sick of the poop that they put out a plastic bag dispenser and an extra garbage can. Seemed to work pretty well.
A sign that says "we're watching you" or "there's an $x fine for not picking up after you're dog and we WILL call the police" might be more effective. Or, you could be a little more practical. One big condo building near where I lived in Chicago got so sick of the poop that they put out a plastic bag dispenser and an extra garbage can. Seemed to work pretty well.
25
Fool multitude @17 - Between that comment and your profile picture, I now suspect you're a member of ICP.
26
The note is perfectly reasonable. But the ziploc bag and electrical tape around the note reek of psychosis.
27
My dog was poisoned by psycho neighbors as well, @7. You are absolutely right, it crushed my 8 year old spirit and I realized I could never trust the people that live next door to me ever again for my entire life.
29
One thing about putting the laxative out for the dog - owners that neglect to pick up their animal's waste are typically neglectful owners in general. If the offending pooch goes all over the carpet, that dog is the one that will get the brunt of the blame, and probably the punishment. Is it fair to punish the animal for the human's error?
30
One thing about putting the laxative out for the dog - owners that neglect to pick up their animal's waste are typically neglectful owners in general. If the offending pooch goes all over the carpet, that dog is the one that will get the brunt of the blame, and probably the punishment. Is it fair to punish the animal for the human's error?
31
@15, I too live near the zoo, and I too have seen the diapers. They leave them in our bushes. Disgusting isn't strong enough.
Matt, it's not just animals. I fully support poisoning babies, and baby owners, as well. And just yesterday I spent fifteen minutes petting a sweet widdle puppy-wuppy and getting my face licked.
Matt, it's not just animals. I fully support poisoning babies, and baby owners, as well. And just yesterday I spent fifteen minutes petting a sweet widdle puppy-wuppy and getting my face licked.
32
I'll admit the grossest part was the used wet-ones. Couldn't leave them there but sure didn't want to deal with it either. What the hell were they feeding that kid? What ever it was wasn't agreeing with neither him nor me.
36
Oh, the humanity. Who the fuck are these people leaving shit all over the place? Can we alter their genes so they don't breed? And are they the same people who pee into plastic bottles and throw them into the ditch when they're on road trips?
38
@33, "Since so many people do not know where to put apostrophes I say we eliminate them all. "
Eliminate all people or all apostrophes?
Eliminate all people or all apostrophes?
40
This guy should just pick up the crap himself. Putting up with people's animal crap is part of living in a city. If you want to live in high density areas and live like sardines, then you need to accept that shit(pun intended) is going to happen.
This note is typical passive aggressive NWers. If this was someone with any balls(or big ovaries) they would stand outside and wait for the culprit, or buy a CC camera and record the front step and post pictures of the person all over the neighborhood. But no, this person is doing everything they can to pretend they are taking action, while taking any action at all. Typical NWers. I wish the owners of the dogs would let their dogs crap right in front of him/her. I bet they wouldn't say a damn word. Just give some smirk or under the breath grunt to show their displeasure. Good grief, grow some.
This note is typical passive aggressive NWers. If this was someone with any balls(or big ovaries) they would stand outside and wait for the culprit, or buy a CC camera and record the front step and post pictures of the person all over the neighborhood. But no, this person is doing everything they can to pretend they are taking action, while taking any action at all. Typical NWers. I wish the owners of the dogs would let their dogs crap right in front of him/her. I bet they wouldn't say a damn word. Just give some smirk or under the breath grunt to show their displeasure. Good grief, grow some.
41
@40: Confrontation is the right solution. Those untended shits probably belong to the same five or six dogs, since people tend to take the same (read, quickest) route when they walk their dogs.
Confront the owner, and at least they might change their route and leave the shits elsewhere. Put up a nasty sign, and they'll just enjoy getting under your skin.
Confront the owner, and at least they might change their route and leave the shits elsewhere. Put up a nasty sign, and they'll just enjoy getting under your skin.
42
Poison/laxatives won't work in this particular area. We dog people in that area of town are too used to chicken bones thrown on the sidewalk by the homeless people that buy them on their EBT cards and bread from demented people that collect of bread at the food bank to feed the skyrats.
What I have found works: get a skinny piece of dowel (or any old thing) and jam it in the ground where all the poop is. Put your pick-up-your-shit sign on it and tie a few poop bags on it. That has worked many times for me. If the person still doesn't pick it up, please don't harm the dog, as it is not even remotely his fault. At this point treat the owener to a slow lingering death, preferably by dogshit. If you catch them and they walk off, use one of those poop bags to pick up shit and pelt him with it.
What I have found works: get a skinny piece of dowel (or any old thing) and jam it in the ground where all the poop is. Put your pick-up-your-shit sign on it and tie a few poop bags on it. That has worked many times for me. If the person still doesn't pick it up, please don't harm the dog, as it is not even remotely his fault. At this point treat the owener to a slow lingering death, preferably by dogshit. If you catch them and they walk off, use one of those poop bags to pick up shit and pelt him with it.
43
Mean people here...contagous....I've even been mean here...gotta stop coming here...be nice to dogs.
44
leaving a note for someone who you don't know is not passive-aggressive. it may be ineffective but it's not passive aggressive.
45
@22,
Not true. These uncouth fuckers are arrogant. Not only do they leave their shit bundles all over the sidewalks and outdoors, they are too lazy to walk to a restroom in the mall. As a former mall slave, I can attest to women picking their brats up and plopping them down on the nearest display of sweaters and leaving the diaper/shit bundle on the table and using $150 bucks worth of cashmere as a handtowel because, "the restroom is, like, all the way across the store!"
p.s. And that's in front of the store staff. Possibly because management is too chickenshit to make them pay for the stank-ass sweaters they ruined because "The Customer Is Always Right".
Not true. These uncouth fuckers are arrogant. Not only do they leave their shit bundles all over the sidewalks and outdoors, they are too lazy to walk to a restroom in the mall. As a former mall slave, I can attest to women picking their brats up and plopping them down on the nearest display of sweaters and leaving the diaper/shit bundle on the table and using $150 bucks worth of cashmere as a handtowel because, "the restroom is, like, all the way across the store!"
p.s. And that's in front of the store staff. Possibly because management is too chickenshit to make them pay for the stank-ass sweaters they ruined because "The Customer Is Always Right".
46
@ 45, yes, it probably is because management is chickenshit. Store flunkies aren't as scary as random people on the street. (And I don't use the term "flunkies" as an indication of my feelings regarding retail employees; I'm expressing the viewpoint of the type of person you're talking about.)
47
@40
The correct answer is DON'T OWN A DOG. If someone is not responsible enough to live in a high density area then that person should move to the country where the shit can run wild.
And, it's not the dog's fault. A dog shitting in your yard is really no different than the dog's owner shitting in your yard. The dog does not exist on its own.
"If this was someone with any balls(or big ovaries) they would stand outside and wait for the culprit..."
You really must have nothing better to do all day.
The correct answer is DON'T OWN A DOG. If someone is not responsible enough to live in a high density area then that person should move to the country where the shit can run wild.
And, it's not the dog's fault. A dog shitting in your yard is really no different than the dog's owner shitting in your yard. The dog does not exist on its own.
"If this was someone with any balls(or big ovaries) they would stand outside and wait for the culprit..."
You really must have nothing better to do all day.
48
There is something seriously wrong with parents leaving shit filled diapers in their wake, and dog owners who don't use the little blue bag. I'm in favor of eliminating the shit producers, but people seem to want to have dogs and breed little people that vaguely resemble them. Go figure.
The solution to the dog shit on the steps, the ground, the side walk, around the tree: set up a trail camera and let it collect evidence for a day. Identify the apartments of the dog owners. Bag up some shit, and staple corresponding photos to each bag. Leave it in front of the appropriate door; setting the bag on fire is fun, but defeats the purpose. And for additional fun, count the number of assholes that complain about their gifts.
The solution to the dog shit on the steps, the ground, the side walk, around the tree: set up a trail camera and let it collect evidence for a day. Identify the apartments of the dog owners. Bag up some shit, and staple corresponding photos to each bag. Leave it in front of the appropriate door; setting the bag on fire is fun, but defeats the purpose. And for additional fun, count the number of assholes that complain about their gifts.
49
@15 - Have you tried contacting your city representative or the zoo administrator?
Take some pictures of the mess and encourage similarly disgruntled neighbors to join you in writing a few letters to alert these decision makers to the problem, and request that they provide and maintain garbage bins throughout the neighborhood.
You could even include a request that the city or the zoo (depending on how the zoo is funded and where appropriate receptacles are already available) also display signs addressed to parents of diaper-wearing children to encourage proper disposal.
I know it will take some effort and possibly a refusal to accept "no" as an answer, and that you should not have to be responsible for taking care of this problem, but this is the best suggestion I have. Good luck!
Take some pictures of the mess and encourage similarly disgruntled neighbors to join you in writing a few letters to alert these decision makers to the problem, and request that they provide and maintain garbage bins throughout the neighborhood.
You could even include a request that the city or the zoo (depending on how the zoo is funded and where appropriate receptacles are already available) also display signs addressed to parents of diaper-wearing children to encourage proper disposal.
I know it will take some effort and possibly a refusal to accept "no" as an answer, and that you should not have to be responsible for taking care of this problem, but this is the best suggestion I have. Good luck!
50
I think what's missing is a period: "Pick up your dogs. Shit!!!" The sign-maker clearly wants better shit-splatter on their sidewalk. Normal dog-anus altitudes are just not achieving the desired effect.
51
@50: Your reckless misinterpretation just made my day.
My family's dog has a tendency to shit into dense banks of bushes. In those cases, we usually just leave it, since it's next to impossible to pick up anyway, and it would be a neat trick for some poor sap to step in it. He's a very funny dog that way.
My family's dog has a tendency to shit into dense banks of bushes. In those cases, we usually just leave it, since it's next to impossible to pick up anyway, and it would be a neat trick for some poor sap to step in it. He's a very funny dog that way.
52
I had a neighbor who used to let his dog crap in my front yard. I really liked the dog. Hated the neighbor. So I left a note on the back of an old yard sign letting the dog owner know that all dog crap would be removed and returned to the owner. Problem solved and there was no need to punish the dog, which is never OK.
53
Oh - and by the way - I don't give a shit if it was "passive agressive" to leave a note. It was the most convienet way to deal with it, it worked well for me and my other neighbors were amused.
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