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News & ArtsFriday, January 29, 2010
Books On the Problems With Eulogizing J.D. Salinger
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 at 12:31 PM
In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.
Along those lines, if you're looking for a bunch of eulogies about J.D. Salinger by people who may or may not be (but probably are) phonies, Arts & Letters Daily has links to 30 of them. And Matthew Simmons shares the most egregious Salinger eulogy of all: A tasteless Twitter post by Bret Easton Ellis that must be read to be believed. Seriously: If you're Bret Easton Ellis, you don't get to throw stones at any other authors, because you're Bret Easton Ellis.
1
Mein Gott in Himmel, I hate Bret Easton Ellis.
AND I HAVE FOR A VERY LONG TIME, TOO! I WOULD LIKE TO KICK HIM RIGHT IN THE SHINS!! BOTH OF THEM!!!
Sorry for that. BEE brings out the very worst in me.
AND I HAVE FOR A VERY LONG TIME, TOO! I WOULD LIKE TO KICK HIM RIGHT IN THE SHINS!! BOTH OF THEM!!!
Sorry for that. BEE brings out the very worst in me.
2
Yeah. I think Bret Easton Ellis should be disallowed to write things, even obituaries. Or if he can write obituaries, it should be for the local newspaper in East Jesus, West Virginia or some such place so that not many civilians are exposed to his ham-fisted prose and narrative ugliness.
4
Insulting the recently dead is fast becoming one of the internet's great traditions. It works like this:
Given that the existence of the internet stipulates that (1): somebody will post "I hate [current subject of discussion]" about anything, usually within minutes and (2): celebrities who have been out of circulation for a while tend to arise as topics of discussion only when they have recently died (because nothing on the internet matters if it didn't happen within the last 48 hours,) it stands to reason that upon a celebrity death entering the news cycle, it will only be a matter of seconds before the virtual grave-dancing begins.
Given that the existence of the internet stipulates that (1): somebody will post "I hate [current subject of discussion]" about anything, usually within minutes and (2): celebrities who have been out of circulation for a while tend to arise as topics of discussion only when they have recently died (because nothing on the internet matters if it didn't happen within the last 48 hours,) it stands to reason that upon a celebrity death entering the news cycle, it will only be a matter of seconds before the virtual grave-dancing begins.
5
@ 3 - Yes.
Remember, this is BEE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!! THIS SHIT IS RIGHT UP HIS HORRIBLE, SOUL-SUCKING ALLEY!!!
Sigh. sorry. i really shouldn't post in this thread anymore, it gets me all riled up.
Remember, this is BEE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!! THIS SHIT IS RIGHT UP HIS HORRIBLE, SOUL-SUCKING ALLEY!!!
Sigh. sorry. i really shouldn't post in this thread anymore, it gets me all riled up.
6
I feel selfish for wanting to read the unpublished works Salinger left behind. He didn't want it to be our business, so why do we feel entitled to them? Is it "okay" to read them now that's he passed and the public cant influence his writing?
8
@6, in reference to @7, the thing is, you don't know if they're finished yet or not. In many cases, like the recent Nabokov atrocity, you can see clear as day that they're not finished. So what are you looking for in these works? Literary achievement? It's not there. Insights into Salinger's mind? Pfft. It's not that it's "not okay", it's that it's pointless. They're not done until the author says they're done.
12
News flash to confused hipsters who have failed to outgrow adoscelent rebellion well into their twenties: Holden Caufield is not a role model.
13
@12: Newsflash to self-styled "libertarians" who honestly believe their ideology is anything but barely-rationalized childish selfishness: Neither is Ayn Rand.
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