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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Someone Read Screech's Saved By the Bell Tell-All Book So You Don't Have To

Posted by on Tue, Jan 26, 2010 at 2:41 PM

behindthebell.jpg
As he promised back in 2008, a broke and shameless Dustin Diamond has written a book all about his scandal-filled years as Screech on Saved By the Bell. And someone actually read it cover to cover. This person, this brave and patient person, waded through the ocean of typos, repeating paragraphs, and bad grammar to highlight 11 of the "most ridiculous, salacious and lurid Saved by the Bell sex (and drug) scandals revealed."

Not only did everyone on the show sleep with everyone else on the show, but, according to Screech, these things also happened:

"Executive producer Peter Engel used to have bisexual threesomes with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar in his office."

"Mario Lopez raped a girl, and NBC paid her hush money."

"Dustin Diamond had sex with NBC's VP of children's programming, Linda Mancuso."

And...

"Ed 'Max' Alonzo used to get gay with Neil Patrick Harris while they talked about magic."

You can see the rest of the list (and read the details) at 11points.com.

I hope Mr. Diamond has a good lawyer. (Or, maybe I don't hope that. Maybe it will be fun to watch him drown in lawsuits, actually.)

 

Comments (17) RSS

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1
Two dudes makes it a "bisexual threesome"? I guess that would be redundant for the two women variety since all women are bisexual. Maxim told me so. Remember, if there are two dudes, it is only gay if your balls touch.
Posted by Reg on January 26, 2010 at 2:54 PM
The Amazing Jim 2
From the star of the world most unfortunate sex-tape comes...
Posted by The Amazing Jim http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000076496291&ref=profile on January 26, 2010 at 3:08 PM
TVDinner 3
I could have gone my whole life without knowing what a Dirty Sanchez is.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on January 26, 2010 at 3:08 PM
Cato the Younger Younger 4
I KNEW Mark-Paul Gosselaar did guys!!
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on January 26, 2010 at 3:12 PM
5
@1,

What if you cross streams?

The Mario Lopez thing doesn't surprise me. Something about that dude screams date rapist.
Posted by keshmeshi on January 26, 2010 at 3:14 PM
schmacky 6
As long as Tiffani-Amber is involved, I can deal with touching balls and crossing streams.
Posted by schmacky on January 26, 2010 at 3:28 PM
Will in Seattle 7
Why would you need a lawyer for such an obvious parody?
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM
e.strange 8
Doesn't Ed 'Max' Alonzo live in Tacoma now? I think I heard that somewhere. Someone at The Stranger should contact him for a rebuttal.
Posted by e.strange http://wtfontbook.blogspot.com/ on January 26, 2010 at 3:30 PM
9
Suing him would only help him make money.
Posted by dwight moody on January 26, 2010 at 3:43 PM
10
Is this a scratch and sniff book?
Posted by Zander on January 26, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Bub 11
Mark-Paul Gosselaar was one of the first guys I jacked off to as a kid. True story.
Posted by Bub on January 26, 2010 at 3:51 PM
reverend dr dj riz 12
@10..
it's a sniff and screech book
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on January 26, 2010 at 3:55 PM
thecatnextdoor 13
I totally recall the rape thing. It was in the same time period as mike tyson.

also, tiffany amber has always been slutty. I remember rumors that she walked around the 90210 set topless after her boob job.
Posted by thecatnextdoor http://onwbn on January 26, 2010 at 3:58 PM
michael strangeways 14
1)you can have a threesome without going "gay"...unless you count rubbing up against each other in the pursuit of other sexual pleasures and I don't...
2)If it's true, they can't sue. Or, more accurately, if he was a witness to said events or can find OTHER people to corroborate his story, he's also pretty safe.
Posted by michael strangeways http://www.seattlegayscene.com/ on January 26, 2010 at 5:26 PM
nudesmurf 15
I think my new favorite word is "douchenozzle"

@11, TOTALLY hear you there. I wanted a TV in my room just so I could watch SBTB. Hated when all the girls would come over and ruin their guy time.
Posted by nudesmurf on January 26, 2010 at 5:28 PM
GlennFleishman 16
Why doesn't the Stranger have a Your Worst Enemy reporter any more?
Posted by GlennFleishman http://blog.glennf.com/ on January 26, 2010 at 6:32 PM
17
But what does Elizabeth Berkley have to say?

Dave, could you send her a note?
Posted by Michael Wells on January 27, 2010 at 12:36 AM

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