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News & ArtsWednesday, January 13, 2010
Religion Who Will Tell the Pope?
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jan 13, 2010 at 7:57 AM
"Every now and again, the vestments slip," writes Sullivan. "Check out this Amazon page where priests can buy communion wafers. Now check out what the frequent buyers of such wafers also bought."
The pope will be furious but I'm sure the altar boys are grateful.
3
Sullivan! Yesterday he made it into the Prop 8 trial record. Rick Jacobs' coverage of the Prop 8 trial yesterday noted that plaintiffs' marriage expert Dr. Cott called Sullivan's marriage book... "adequate." Ha!
4
I think I'm more disturbed about the fact that there are 6 "used" packages of communion wafers for sale on Amazon.
8
In all fairness, the placement of communion cups makes me think Anglican/ Episcopalian, not Roman Catholic, and they are allowed to have sex. Good punch line but I think the joke is hollow.
9
#6: cause priests never use lube. Even if they aren't fucking the altar boys, if we've learned anything from the seemingly endless clergy-related sex abuse scandals it's that even those "called" to the priesthood have sexual urges, and they will satisfy them regardless of how sinful they preach them to be. I doubt there's a priest alive who hasn't masturbated and really, since they're supposed to be celibate and thus won't be procreating anyway (in certain denominations) why would god care if they spilled their seed outside a vagina?
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I'm sure the used wafers are from people who bought them thinking that the priest/altar boy scene would be fun, but once they did it a few times, they realized if you're going to use that much imagination, you could just as easily use Ritz or Saltines
13
Some Astroglide on the Wii, a little slip and slide action as you nibble on a few well placed wafers while moaning your confession and YEESSSS you're saved.
In observing Communion we are proclaiming His death until He comes.
See how that works!
In observing Communion we are proclaiming His death until He comes.
See how that works!
15
No, it's perfectly innocent! People buying astroglide and communion wafers are probably just engaging in some kinky priest/nun role play! (Or priest/altar-boy if they're gay.)
...who am I kidding? I don't know how this happened!
...who am I kidding? I don't know how this happened!
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the 'also viewed' is quite a treat as well - with the "Very Best of David Hasselhoff" and "The Erectile Quality Monitor"
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In addition to Astroglide, the Wii dance mat, those priests are also buying books: "an elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design: 'The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.'"
That's quite an apostate evening, Father.
That's quite an apostate evening, Father.
20
So I followed through link-to-link.
Communion wafers>astroglide>love doll.
Guess what was on the page for love dolls? Pokemon cards.
This might be my new favourite hobby.
Communion wafers>astroglide>love doll.
Guess what was on the page for love dolls? Pokemon cards.
This might be my new favourite hobby.
21
Well, this is a fun game, but I'm afraid the implication won't wash, Dan Savage, as YOU should know. Sullivan should also know. This advertisement, mentions "The Lord's Supper" which is a Protestant term. Just how many Priests do you know who order their own communion wafers? This is more likely sold to Protestant churches. So I think we're talking about the Ted Haggards of the world in this case. But it's still funny.
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