The Planet Connections Theatre Festivity, "New York's premiere eco-friendly theatre festival."

First of all: Isn't theater already the most low-impact medium? Books eat trees, paint is toxic, movies are made out of gasoline fumes and misery... so what the fuck is an "eco-friendly" theater festival? You recycle your wine bottles? Re-use your sets? Ask people to return their programs? Don't theater companies already do all of that?

I'm guessing by "eco-friendly," they really mean "didactic bullshit" like these unfortunate souls and their tie-dyed jazz hands:

(I actually had to sit through these guys' act on several occasions during my formative years. It's even worse than you'd think.)

The theater of good intentions—from Soviet realism to The Conciliation Project—has always and everywhere been a bad idea. Bad for people, bad for theater, bad for the world.