The bruteness of that man was so manly and at the same time so tender.
  • "The bruteness of that man was so manly and at the same time so tender."
In an e-mail titled "Plumbing the depths of human depravity via X-Men fanfic," Slog tipper Jesse alerted me to this Cyclops/Jean Grey/Wolverine X-Men fanfic that begins with a violent assault on grammar:

Jean Grey was cheating Scott Summers. It's been a long time since she sleept the first time with Loga. She got scared the first time but, as the time went on, the fear of being discovered disappeared. Now she's almost telling Scott what she's been doing for the past two years.

It continues in this way for a while, including sentences like "The Arch of Trumph is magnificent too. The birds all fly over it in a dance of passion and lust," and "Suck a soft and redful hair, it is like a cotton field full of love and desire. Them, he reached her back, that was soft too and full of comfort," and "Them, he reached her nipples. They were full, pointing upwards and were very comfortable."

And then it turns into the superhero fanfic version of Two Girls, One Cup, only 100% more rapey. Seriously. I haven't read anything this wrong in maybe ever. And I've read de Sade. Hell, I've read a lot of stuff on the internet. To invoke an internet cliché, you can't unread it. You have been warned. Thanks—I think—to Jesse for sharing this with the world.

UPDATE: You can find the Complete Works of ComicsNix, the author of this story, over at FanFiction.net.