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Thursday, January 7, 2010

This Just In: DON'T LISTEN TO MEGAN FOX!!

Posted by on Thu, Jan 7, 2010 at 2:34 PM

Oh, shit! I was just settling down in front of the computer to read the morning news with my warm bottle of vinegar when I read THIS:

HEALTH experts have warned dieters against taking advice from actress Megan Fox.

The Transformers star has been blasted for hailing the benefits of swigging vinegar.

She recently said, "It just cleanses out your system entirely.

"It will get rid of ... for women who retain water weight from your menstrual cycle and all that ... it gets rid of it really fast.

"I'm not one for dieting or exercising, because I'm lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while 'cause of the amount of sugar I take in."

However, experts in the field have dismissed Megan's claims, insisting there is not a single form of vinegar in existence that will help dieters lose weight.


SPIT TAKE!!
! Bleghh! Bleghh! You mean to tell me I've been drinking a gallon of vinegar a day, and the only reason I was doing it was because Megan is super hot, and I like to listen to super hot people because much of the time they make a lot of sense, and... and...
fox.jpg

Vinegar? Why yes, Mistress Fox. I'd love some. Glug... glug... glug...

 

Comments (32) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
laterite 1
She's dumb as a mud fence but soooo insanely hot that it hurts.
Posted by laterite on January 7, 2010 at 2:39 PM
Will in Seattle 2
It's almost as good as pickle juice.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 7, 2010 at 2:42 PM
3
Her looks have nothing to do with vinegar. That's genetics.

Her intelligence, on the other hand, is a result of being vaccinated as a child. This I learned from jenny McCarthy, another expert in the medical field.
Posted by Ackham on January 7, 2010 at 2:42 PM
very bad homo 4
Yeah, but hot people are always dumb! You're supposed to look at them, not listen to them.
Posted by very bad homo on January 7, 2010 at 2:46 PM
5
yeah, i did this once. accidentally. i had to pass a piss test and a friend told me vinegar would work in a pinch. shit cleaned me out, alright, but not in the way i wanted. i guess ms. fox is a fan of violent, splatter-ific diarrhea.

also, ms. fox looks a lot like my wife, except not as hot.
Posted by taint on January 7, 2010 at 2:49 PM
Vince 6
Actually, I know how it sounds Sir Humpsalot, but I myself have vinegar everyday. It makes my skin lovely and aids my digestion. I am still butt ugly, but I feel good about it.
Posted by Vince on January 7, 2010 at 2:52 PM
Akbar Fazil 7
Am I the only one who doesn't find her attractive? (nor do I feel she has any acting talent)
Posted by Akbar Fazil on January 7, 2010 at 2:53 PM
8
if anyone actually cared to do any research (does that ever happen at the stranger?) there are scientific studies that have been done regarding vinegar and they have shown that people who take vinegar have lower blood glucose levels and have, indeed, lost weight - and in the weight loss studies they lost weight during november/december when people usually gain weight.
Posted by x girl on January 7, 2010 at 3:00 PM
NumberOne 9
She has a great set of lips.
Posted by NumberOne on January 7, 2010 at 3:03 PM
10
It the vinegar drinking why she always looks like she's covered in grease?s
Posted by Westside forever on January 7, 2010 at 3:14 PM
11
@x girl

I'd like a link to one of those studies.
Posted by arbeck http://www.facebook.com/arbeck on January 7, 2010 at 3:15 PM
12
@x girl

Can I have a link to those studies? They sound almost as plausible as the taco bell diet.
Posted by arbeck http://www.facebook.com/arbeck on January 7, 2010 at 3:17 PM
Geni 13
@7 - no, you're not the only one. I don't find her unattractive, she just doesn't do anything for me. I'd jump over 10 Megan Foxes to get to one Monica Bellucci. Now THAT's hot.
Posted by Geni on January 7, 2010 at 3:18 PM
giffy 14
Vinegar, like most unpleasant things on can put in their mouths, does seem to suppress appetite. If you have a hard time controlling yourself then I guess it could help to keep from eating less. No silly cleansing magic though. That's just hippy nonsense.

There are also much more pleasant ways to reduce apatite, like some teas.
Posted by giffy on January 7, 2010 at 3:24 PM
15
@7 She constantly reminds me of John Leguizamo in drag.
Posted by Ackham on January 7, 2010 at 3:24 PM
16

That scene of Megan Fox on a motorcycle in Transformers II was worth a whole year of Maxim.

Posted by Western Washington Onanological Society on January 7, 2010 at 3:25 PM
elenchos 17
That chick has weird looking skin. What's up with her skin? Somebody explain. Is that what vinegar does to your skin?
Posted by elenchos on January 7, 2010 at 3:27 PM
More, I Say! 18
@15 FTW!!! AAaahahahaha.

But I dunno, Megan does nothing for me, but Chi-Chi Rodriguez? Aye, mami!
Posted by More, I Say! on January 7, 2010 at 3:37 PM
19
@arbeck

http://www.webmd.com/diet/apple-cider-vi…

I wouldn't (and don't) take raw apple cider vinegar on a daily basis and wouldn't ever use a pill form vinegar 'supplement' but have taken it as a once in a while cleanser (3Tsp in some tea or mixed with honey) and appetite suppressant (it's kind of like when you drink a Kombucha and don't feel the need to eat for a long while).

I've also used it when I had heart burn/acid reflux (3tsp in 8oz of warm water taken after a meal) and a friend's mother used it as a short-term therapy to lower her cholesterol and it worked.
Posted by funkathrusta on January 7, 2010 at 3:55 PM
balderdash 20
Megan Fox has passed way over the Barbie Threshold to the point where she is no longer hot, just shiny and fake and vaguely unsettling.

Apparently she's also kind of an idiot.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 7, 2010 at 3:58 PM
21

@7 - Yes, you and #13 are the only ones.
Posted by balmonter on January 7, 2010 at 4:00 PM
Will in Seattle 22
@7 - no, you're not the only one. she's kind of average looking, actually.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 7, 2010 at 4:03 PM
23
I prefer the healing power of whisky.
Posted by Reg on January 7, 2010 at 4:17 PM
24
"Apparently she's also kind of an idiot."

So what? At least she's not a fat chick.
Posted by Asian1981 on January 7, 2010 at 4:40 PM
25
http://nutrition.suite101.com/article.cf…

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/applecid…

@Asian1981 rather be fat than stupid. always.
Posted by x girl on January 7, 2010 at 5:50 PM
26
hmm. my links did not post correctly. now i suppose Asian1981 (really that's your pseudonym?) will say i am stupid. ha!

it's really not that difficult to google apple cider vinegar and you'll get tons of links to the articles - which reference the medical studies and medical publications in which they have been published.

Posted by x girl on January 7, 2010 at 5:54 PM
Greg 27
Megan Fox invites ambivalence on all fronts. Sometimes she says something intelligent, sometimes she says something really dumb. Sometimes she looks hot, sometimes she seems way too plastic and fake.
Posted by Greg on January 7, 2010 at 5:59 PM
schmacky 28
She's not THAT hot, but everyone here, despite feeble comments to the contrary, would pop that can in a friggin' heartbeat. It's OK. Just go with it.
Posted by schmacky on January 7, 2010 at 11:53 PM
Will in Seattle 29
Yeah, but we're straight guys (or lesbian women) ... of course we would.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 8, 2010 at 1:18 AM
30
@18: HAH! Yes!

I think Fox is just too made-up most of the time. She's looked Belucci-esque kind of soft, natural beauty in some photos I've seen.

But yeah, I've gotten that "tranny" vibe from her. I think it's the super-exaggerated femininity -- too sharp, trying too hard.

@28: Fucking someone when given the free opportunity and perceiving "hotness" of the same person are not always related, in my book.
Posted by Gloria on January 8, 2010 at 9:04 AM
Geni 31
@28 - I'm not stupid, I wouldn't kick her outta bed or anything - I'm just saying, she's no Salma Hayek or Sofia Vergara.
Posted by Geni on January 8, 2010 at 1:06 PM
watchout5 32
She'd have to get some kind of super toothpaste, that shit smells and there's no way I'd snuggle up with a chick who thought vinegar made her more sexy (my dick would go placid, ignorance would be bliss though). Why not just make more food type items that could use vinegar as a food ingredient rather than chugging the bottle like a 40? What the fuck ever happened to no child left behind, and why is Megan Fox sitting at the bottom of a 3 mile deep crater?
Posted by watchout5 http://www.overclockeddrama.com on January 9, 2010 at 1:46 AM

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