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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Death / Wilderness Octo-Goners

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Tue, Jan 5, 2010 at 2:28 PM

First: Thousands of dead octopuses are washing up along a five-mile stretch of beach in Portugal.

Cientos de pulpos aparecen muertos en una playa cercana a Oporto

Officials say they don't know what's happening to the octopuses, but it might have something to do with the mini-tornado that ripped up some roofs in the area a few days ago.

Octopuses typically die of senescence—they have sex once, then their minds and bodies slowly fall apart. They stop eating, stop avoiding predators, and sometimes chew off their own arms. As Dr. Roland Anderson, a local octopus expert, likes to say: "There's no such thing as safe sex for octopuses." Maybe there's some mass, M. Night Shyamalan-style senescence happening off the coast of Portugal.

Maybe this is just the beginning...

Second: Portland's Greek Cuisina (home of an iconic purple octopus) will close, citing punitive and costly fire inspections by the city.

The octopus is going up on eBay.

Comments (16) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Papas can't put the Octopus up until he, uh, you know-- pays his fines?

Maybe he should have been charging admission for people to watch him carry a loaded table in his teeth? "$10 to watch the shrill apoplectic Hellene carry around a comically underweight table with his mouth!"

Posted by Baconcat on January 5, 2010 at 2:37 PM

Oooh, which reminds me: the Seattle Aquarium typically holds an Octopus Blind Date on Valentine's Day, wherein they attempt to mate their octopus with another that is flown in for this express purpose. Some years it ends with both sulking in opposite ends of the tank, other years it's like a National Geographic special.

This should be a Stranger Suggests, and we should send hapless Kyle out to bear witness.

Posted by arts&letters on January 5, 2010 at 2:47 PM

Wow, I really thought this was a Mudede. Animals, sex, death finished with a tenuous connection to almost completely unrelated quotidian mundanity. You have it all, Brendan!

Posted by Cracker Jack on January 5, 2010 at 3:00 PM

I love that giant purple octopus. It reminds me of Hockeytown :(

Posted by kersy on January 5, 2010 at 3:08 PM

in related news, Purple Mark just came up with the title for his eldritch horror poetry book, "Do Sleeping Gods Lie?" ....

hmmm.

I'm staying away from waveswept beaches for a bit i think ...

Posted by Will in Seattle

on January 5, 2010 at 3:15 PM

Calamari is back on the menu!

Posted by Toe Tag on January 5, 2010 at 3:42 PM

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.

- Ogden Nash

Posted by blackhook on January 5, 2010 at 3:51 PM

Looks like Cthulu is vacations on the Iberian coast this year.

Posted by dwight moody on January 5, 2010 at 4:05 PM

I thought "cientos" meant hundreds not thousands.

Posted by Geni on January 5, 2010 at 4:10 PM

picky picky.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on January 5, 2010 at 4:51 PM

You're right. But another report said "thousands." I conflated.

Posted by Brendan Kiley on January 5, 2010 at 5:21 PM

A belated protest against the octomom?

Posted by Printer on January 5, 2010 at 6:12 PM

Isn't is octopii?

Posted by MLP on January 5, 2010 at 7:55 PM

IT. Isn't *it* octopii?

Posted by MLP on January 5, 2010 at 7:56 PM

@13 or 14: You're close, but as the link illustrates, "octopuses" is quite acceptable.

Posted by TVDinner

on January 5, 2010 at 9:55 PM

@ 13, 14, 15 Even if it were "octopi," it wouldn't have two "i"s. Octopodes would be the most scrupulously correct in historical-linguistic/scientific terms. Octopuses is "correct" in English. "Octopi" is just backformed nonsense.

Posted by commentbat on January 8, 2010 at 11:03 AM