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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Housekeeping / Film / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Why The Stranger Never Ran a Review of It's Complicated

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 3:30 PM

It's my fault. I just couldn't do it. I only made it 15 minutes in. I know what the commenters will make of this—Indie snob asshole prick fuckface! You just think of what's the "contrary" thing to say and pretend that's what you think! Do your job for once! You're an asshole! You hate every movie, including Avatar, which is empirically amazing! Savage, fire him! I hope you fall off the viaduct and die! (am I forgetting anything?)—so I'll explain after the jump. But if you're looking for a review of It's Complicated on our website and you're not finding it, I am to blame.

Here's what happened. Hot-potato-passer Lindy West, being given a brand new hot potato in the form of a Nancy Meyers film starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, knows I have a thing for Meryl Streep, so she handed this steaming potato off to me, and I marched down to the screening in the middle of trying to send two issues of The Stranger to the printer simultaneously (so we could all take a couple days off for Christmas). I watched the first couple scenes. They consisted of Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, playing exes, making awkward small talk at a party; Baldwin's new girlfriend coming out and surprising Streep because she is so young and has a tight stomach; then a scene of Streep saying goodbye to her second daughter going off to college, first trying to get her not to leave by offering to take her shopping at "that big Bed, Bath and Beyond," then saying wistfully, "One of you is always moving out—I'm just wondering who I'm going to watch The Hills with"; the daughter driving off in a silent Prius, the overly foley-sound-effected gravel crunching very loudly; Streep in her kitchen after her daughter has driven off, sighing, taking off her earrings, eating a grape, and lugubriously looking out the window, either because her daughter has just driven off or because she can't remember why she agreed to be in a movie with such stock characters and over-the-top product placement aimed at middle-aged women from companies like Bed, Bath & Beyond and Toyota Prius; and then a scene where Streep is talking to a remodeler about how she doesn't want his and her sinks in her bathroom anymore, just a her sink, because having the his sink there "makes me sad"; and then a scene of Streep sitting in a plastic surgeon's office explaining that she doesn't want anything too serious, but there's this wrinkle above her eye that she really wants to get rid of...

And then I got up. I just couldn't do it. Not even Streep could rescue this material. I mean no disrespect to people who like Nancy Meyers films. Certainly, there is an argument to be made for their worth. But I was short on time, and not in the mood, so I bailed. Plus, I'm pretty sure the poster gives away what ends up happening.

Comments (38) RSS

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you should have stuck it out - it wasn't as bad as half the movies you've watched.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on December 31, 2009 at 3:35 PM

That's okay, bubbe. Not everyone does everything they say they will, as all my exes can attest.

Posted by gloomy gus on December 31, 2009 at 3:40 PM

how many do you have, gg?

Posted by Will in Seattle

on December 31, 2009 at 3:45 PM

Too many, they tell me. In my view, just enough.

Posted by gloomy gus on December 31, 2009 at 3:50 PM

Indie snob asshole prick fuckface! You just think of what's the "contrary" thing to say and pretend that's what you think! Do your job for once! You're an asshole! You hate every movie, including Avatar, which is empirically amazing! Savage, fire him! I hope you fall off the viaduct and die!

Posted by jns on December 31, 2009 at 3:56 PM

You forgot "hipster." But you're forgiven - I couldn't sit through it either.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on December 31, 2009 at 4:04 PM

You hated Avatar, dude? What else do you hate-- puppies and kittens? Sex? Oxygen?

Posted by drewvsea on December 31, 2009 at 4:20 PM

You fucking asshole, if you fall off the viaduct and die, traffic'll be backed up to fuck and gone, and everybody'll miss the fireworks, and you'll RUIN NEW YEARS. So self-centered. I swear.

Posted by Fnarf

on December 31, 2009 at 4:23 PM

I saw this movie with family, because it seems like the holidays always involved the obligatory "mom" movie. It wasn't my favorite at all, but it was entertaining (for a mom movie). Most importantly, you missed a good performance by John Krasinski (Jim from The Office).

Posted by Gidge on December 31, 2009 at 4:28 PM

i refuse to see it because 'something's gotta give' and 'what women want' were two of the most god-awful pieces of crap i have ever sat through.

nancy meyers films? uhh, no thanks.

Posted by mr. herriman on December 31, 2009 at 4:36 PM

Christopher, You took the words out of my mouth. How about doing penance by reading "Ode to the Common Man?"

Posted by onthequest4peace on December 31, 2009 at 4:39 PM

Sounds like most people can just save themselves $10 and walk through a Simon Property Group mall on a Sunday mid-afternoon for the same effect.

Posted by wake me up when Youth in Revolt premieres on December 31, 2009 at 4:48 PM

I could barely sit through the whole trailer. No way am I going to that movie. And I say that as a fan of both Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on December 31, 2009 at 4:51 PM

@7 - Chris hates puppies and kittens having sex with oxygen.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on December 31, 2009 at 4:55 PM

@10 - actually, What Women Want is one of my faves. Even if the lead actor - personally - is a major douche.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on December 31, 2009 at 4:56 PM

It looks like total "mom porn" - more than one guy vying for the attention of a middle-aged lady, a la Something's Gotta Give. So tell me, any gays out there: is there enough Hunter Parrish to make this movie worth my while?

Posted by Subdued Excitement on December 31, 2009 at 5:37 PM

i saw it (for free, at least) and it came thisclose to actually fitting the "woman alive, happy and not in love" test that like, 4 movies have ever passed, and i was actually nearly convinced that it might redeem itself from the 5 hour drag that the rest of the movie was. but no. no, no, no. in the last fucking minute of the movie. blerg.

Posted by erin on December 31, 2009 at 5:49 PM

My rich, Republican aunt likes crappy movies, and even this one she said wasn't worth the money she spend on it. Part of that, she admitted, was because Alec Baldwin is a liberal and she can't stand to look at him...

Posted by sloggerette on December 31, 2009 at 5:54 PM

I'm a mom, and I wouldn't be caught dead going to something like this. Fantastic Mr.Fox was awesome, though, have you seen it yet?

Posted by Patti on December 31, 2009 at 7:32 PM

"I walked out." is a review.

Posted by Toasterhedgehog on December 31, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Actually I'm thinking ignorant dumb fuckwhit who would like everyone to think he's not being a snob, but would really like everyone to think he's a snob. You guys review nearly every piece of shit movie that hollywood dishes out. I imagine in reality at the moment that you were supposed to be watching this film you were probably giving savage a blow job, which is probably how you got the job in the first place.

Posted by dumbfuckwhit on December 31, 2009 at 8:29 PM

I felt the same way walking out of Hollywood Ending

Posted by biju on December 31, 2009 at 8:53 PM

Nancy Meyers and Nora Ephron must be stopped from making any more movies...they've tarnished the entire genre of "women's films".

Posted by michael strangeways

on December 31, 2009 at 11:45 PM

So, does this mean Dan Savage is the one who does the firing? Interesting..

Posted by charlie2001 on January 1, 2010 at 7:43 AM

You prejudged this movie. You realize that makes you suck as a critic. you simply suck!

Posted by Erok on January 1, 2010 at 11:42 AM

I thought you guys usually passed movies off to Charles Mudede? He could write a whole four sentences comparing It's Complicated to the Boxer Rebellion and then masturbate furiously. You know, like normal.

Posted by RaindogBride on January 1, 2010 at 11:56 AM

"Streep in her kitchen after her daughter has driven off, sighing, taking off her earrings, eating a grape, and lugubriously looking out the window, either because her daughter has just driven off or because she can't remember why she agreed to be in a movie with such stock characters and over-the-top product placement aimed at middle-aged women..."

Nice. #16: ""mom porn" . . . also nice.

I've yet to see a Nancy Meyers film. I doubt I'd loathe any of them, but I never felt an overwhelming desire to see one either. I did get a kick, though, out of a line I saw in a preview from "Something's Gotta Give", where Jack Nicholson's character asks Diane Keaton's character, "What's with the turtlenecks?", because I've always found turtlenecks to be one of the most unsexy articles of clothing on a woman.

Posted by Roma on January 1, 2010 at 4:42 PM

I sat through the whole thing, and it was not very good. But it was pretty fun looking for all the boom mics that drop into the shot. It happened in just about every other shot!

Posted by spencer on January 1, 2010 at 7:14 PM

@28 - sounds like bad frame matting by the projectionist

Posted by biju on January 1, 2010 at 10:09 PM

I heard it was better than it sounded like it was going to be. Which does not mean that I will go see it, of course, but if it's on a plane in a couple of months, I might watch.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on January 2, 2010 at 12:10 PM

On a scale of 0 to 10, how much I'd want to watch couples having sex in these five Nancy Meyers movies.

Something Women Gotta Want: Jack Nicholson & Mel Gibson: 0

Something's Gotta Give: Jack Nicholson & Diane Keaton: 1

What Women Want: Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt: 3

It's Complicated: Alec Baldwin & Meryl Streep: 5

What Women Want Is Complicated: Meryl Streep & Helen Hunt: 8

Posted by Roma on January 2, 2010 at 12:22 PM

You should have stuck with it a little longer. The Baldwin and guy from the office were awesome. A good ensemble cast. Baldwin grabbing streeps crotch in the typical post sex in bed "L" shaped sheet scene was the turning point for greatness I think. Lots of pot scene lols too.

Posted by Westlake, son! on January 2, 2010 at 12:43 PM

You committed no crime. Bad art can't be stopped, but it shouldn't be encouraged.

Posted by katallred on January 3, 2010 at 12:43 AM

spoiler alert!!! This from wikipedia:

Jane (played by Meryl Streep) is a self-reliant divorcée who owns a successful bakery in Santa Barbara, California. After 10 years of separation and three grown children, she finally achieves a good relationship with her ex-husband Jake (Alec Baldwin), a successful attorney who has remarried the much-younger Agness.

Jane and Jake attend their son Luke's college graduation in New York. A dinner together develops into an affair, making Jane "the other woman". Part of Jane knows it is wrong, since Jake and Agness are still married and trying to have a baby; the other part of Jane relishes in being "the other woman" and continues the affair with Jake in Santa Barbara. Jake is just enjoying the clandestine sex and doesn't show much interest in Jane's growth as a person.

Their children know nothing of their parents' affair, although Harley (engaged to their daughter Lauren) spots them in a hotel and keeps silent. Agness knows nothing, as Jake still has sex with her on demand; her five-year-old son Pedro suspects something when Jake makes phone calls from the bathroom.

Complicating matters is Adam (Steve Martin), an architect hired to remodel Jane's home, who is himself healing from a divorce of his own, and who has begun to fall in love with Jane. He spends time getting to know her as a person. One night, she takes him to her bakery-restaurant and offers to make him anything; he asks for a chocolate croissant, which she makes from scratch. This takes hours, and they enjoy the time together. As her architect, he shows great sensitivity in listening to her needs and vision for her remodeled kitchen and bedroom.

Eventually, Adam learns Jane is still seeing Jake. Adam knows his boundaries and tells Jane he cannot continue seeing her as this triangle will only lead to heartbreak. Her kids also find out, and they are not happy about Mom and Dad getting together again, as they are still recovering from the divorce ten years ago. Jane tells them she is not getting back with their dad, who then drives off in his Porsche. Agness has also kicked him out.

The film ends with Adam returning to Jane's house to work on her addition and before the credits roll Jane and Adam are seen laughing while walking into her house.

My review: Lame.

More...

Posted by This movie looks lame on January 3, 2010 at 8:58 AM

I laughed a lot during this movie. So did my partner and our friend and a theater full of people. We see some "sophisticated" movies and read some "sophisticated" books, and sometimes we enjoy some simple entertainment that makes us laugh, smile, and cry. Some people on this site need to get over themselves.

Posted by chipaustin on January 3, 2010 at 9:28 AM

There's no good way to say this, Christopher Frizzelle: your movie non-reviews are better written and more entertaining than the movie reviews The Stranger's film editor writes.

Posted by Re-animated James Agee on January 3, 2010 at 11:01 AM

I watched it with my ex-wife, we laughed all the way through it and there's aGreat chance that we may get back together. This is a Great Movie. Let's be thankful fellow Americans, that we have the leisure to sit around and critque movies!! Thank You God.
Retired Military of 24Yrs USA.

Posted by Cape on January 26, 2010 at 1:35 PM