Lame. Eight CIA employees killed by Afghan bomber.

Finnish Him. Gunman kills four in Finnish shopping mall, plus his girlfriend, plus himself.

You Shall Not Pass! Egypt allows pro-Palestinian activists to cross into Gaza.

Creep. Suspect in Beacon Hill shooting fights extradition from California.

Youda Youda Best. Mourners celebrate the life of former Indonesian president Abdurrahman Wahid, "a beloved, one-eyed cleric."

Slow News Day. It's raining in New York.

Was Snidely Whiplash Involved? Because Otherwise There's Really No Excuse to Let a Train Hit You. Unless It Was a Suicide. I Feel Bad Now. Anyway, Sorry You Died. Woman killed by train in Santa Clara, CA.

GOOD THING YOU HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Rush Limbaugh didn't die.

Maybe He Can Get a Sponsorship Deal with Ambien. AT&T drops Tiger Woods from th...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"There's all kinds of stuff in there. Dead animals, dead critters, wax, feces, candles. It's a nightmare." World's creepiest house discovered in Philadelphia.

Diet Starts Monday! It's the last day of 2009.

And I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. Russia plans to send a spacecraft to deflect a giant asteroid.

Someone please give this child one million Oscars.