Tears on the keyboard. I'm 27, female, had two boyfriends in the past 12 years. I'm so lonely, and I'm so sad, and it's so so hard for me to continue facing the world when I"m just a cum dumpster.

It's the same thing—I meet a guy, he thinks I'm sexy, he finds out I don't sleep with guys unless we're dating so we date long enough for him to sleep with me and then I get the ol' "I'm not looking for anything serious" speech. But—we spent a whole two months before you slept with me saying that you cared about me, that you got that if we slept together it meant something serious was happening. I feel like I'm just a warm vagina to these men. I know I'm sexy, but there are lots of sexy women in the city who are looking for NSA- why not go for an honest fuck if that's all you want? Is lying part of the male mating call now. I though canadians were supposed to be fucking nice.

I'm pretty, fine. But I'm also very smart, and funny, and open-minded. I'm responsible, I have a great place, I'm not jealous or needy. I give men a lot of space, I wait until I've calmed down to discuss things that have upset me. I give wicked blowjobs, I cook. I live in Toronto—how is it that I'm alone every night? How is it that everybody wants to just drink and fuck me? I'm bawling right now, and I don't know how much more of this heartache I can take.

Question—are the traits which I think are 'good' actually bad? How is it that emotionally manipulative or mean women have ltr's, and I'm over here on my netbook at the crack of dawn? Should I hide the smart and funny? Start being jealous? How - how do I do this? I'm not meeting these men at bars, or at clubs—I'm meeting them at coffee shops and conferences. Where do I go to meet a guy who wants to be respected and will respect me too?

I can't sleep, I can't eat—I'm so broken up. I need to get on with things, do stuff with my life but I'm so fucking lonely it makes me sick. I know you usually give sexual advice, but I don't know where else to turn. I'm willing to accept that I'm doing something wrong—so be brutal, dan. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I too much or am I just too old?

Stupid Hurt In Toronto

My response after the jump...

Hang in there, SHIT. I didn't meet my boyfriend (of 15 years) until I was 30, and I could've written this letter myself at one point.

As I've said to others in your shoes: Every relationship you're ever going to be in is going to fail... until one doesn't. That doesn't make the failures hurt any less, I know. I'd advise you to go to your friends (or to a good therapist), talk about the men you've dated, the choices you've made, look for patterns. if you ID any destructive patterns, make a deliberate effort to make different choices. If not, if there aren't patterns, keep doing what you're doing until you meet a guy who sticks around.

Also, I'd encourage you to rethink your opposition to one-night stands or sex right away. My boyfriend is the one-night stand who stuck around. Lots of decent, lasting relationships got started thanks to indecent, impulsive sex.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Here's to a better new year—and SHIT is reading this Sloggers, so help her out.