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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Games "Say your goodbyes, lard-ass, because you're already dead."

Posted by The Stranger Testing Department on Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 5:27 PM

Before all of our comically violent wish-fulfillment fantasies were so thoroughly and realistically slaked by video games, we had manga-based movies like Fist of the North Star. No movie since has equaled FotNS in its post-apocalyptic building-punching, laser body-slicing, or time-delayed reverse skull-cap extruding. Seriously: the Fist of the North Star—this guy, with a beard, named Ken—punches skyscrapers in this movie and they fall down. Basically, Chuck Norris is just the shadow cast on the wall of Plato's cave by Ken. (And maybe Ice-T is somewhere in between Ken and Chuck these days.)

Now, at last, we're getting a Fist of the North Star video game, for the PS3 and Xbox 360. Honestly, the initial gameplay videos (here and here) are a little meh so far. But the game doesn't come out until March, so these are still just previews. And the meh-ness might just be in comparison to the sheer ridiculous awesomeness of the movie. If you never watched it, check out this high-comedy YouTube distillation. (And if you have watched it, no doubt Ken's trademark "yaaAHH-DIDADIDADIDADIDADIDADIDADIDADIDA!" battle cry, at about 1:49, is already seared into your hippocampus.)

The Stranger Testing Department is Rob Lightner and Paul Hughes.

Comments (7) RSS

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'At last?' Clearly you are forgetting the gem that was the NES Fist of the North Star game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj2CTRiAw…

Although evidently, there were several. This is the one that came out in the US, though.

Posted by Zebes

on December 31, 2009 at 6:51 PM

God, that's an awesome movie.

Posted by Chip on December 31, 2009 at 6:56 PM

I found myself laughing hysterically as I watched the video on that site. Just the idea of making a video game out of that makes so much sense: mindless, brutal violence, and nothing else. Something to make Mortal Kombat, GTA, and God of War look like an episode of Bob Ross by comparison. They could make money hand over fist if they do it right.

@1: What, only one body split in half? Not a true translation to video game media, if you ask me.

Posted by Knat on December 31, 2009 at 9:19 PM

I was really excited after reading the header for this post, thinking that good old Mr. Limbaugh had kicked the bucket. Sigh. Alas.

Posted by i'm a lime on December 31, 2009 at 9:31 PM

Only made it about four minutes, but if that's the only four minutes of Japanese cartooning I have to see until 2020 I'll consider it time well spent. What unentertaining dreck. When I saw the "Say good-bye, Lard-ass..." headline, I thought it might be some reference to "Stand By Me".

Posted by Timmytee on January 1, 2010 at 3:36 AM

"This is madness. The Fists of the North and South aren't ever supposed to fight! You know that!"

"Perhaps that was true once, but now rules are meaningless. Defend yourself!"

This film has some of the most quotable lines ever. Also, never watch the made-for-HBO live action version. Terrible.

Posted by Matt Hickey

on January 1, 2010 at 10:45 AM

The live-action version of Fist of the North Star is so fucking terrible, it's amazing. "Downtown" Julie Brown somehow manages to out-act Malcom McDowell and there are soooooo many face-kicks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8_DflwBE…

Posted by Josh Bomb