I hope you have time read this & maybe even reply in time. I've been happily whateversexual for most of my 62 years and happily gay for the past 10 years. I'm repeatedly told that I look no more than late 40s & take good care of myself (other than chain smoking & a daily joint). I'm a Grade "A" Type "A" who's constantly busy. "Out there" I have rep as an iron-willed & hard-nosed businessman, meticulously fair & fairly aggressive. But in the bedroom, I'm a crossdressing, feminine & submissive bottom to a couple of great lovers for the past seven years. And in the past few of those years, that delicious tickle of femininity has grown to the point where I have tits.

I'm not fat Dan. I'm 5'10" & 165 lbs. But I can fill a "A" cup, & my nips are just as big as most women's & just as sensitive. I've "grown" these puppies on purpose, primarily by massage/pulling as well as using a suction pump daily . It turns my guys on like crazy, & I've gotten pretty wired to them myself. (Since deciding to go strictly bottom years ago I've also managed to program/auto-suggest myself to the point where I orgasm "internally" when getting fucked, instead of with my (now contentedly dormant & cherub-size) cock. But what my lovers call my "miraculous manpussy" is not the dillema I need your advice about Dan. I just mention it to demonstrate that this isn't just "whimsy.") I am happy with my sex life Dan, & I do what I do while of sound mind & body regardless what anyone might think of some of my kinks. My behavior doesn't risk harm to me or to anyone else.

So what's the problem? My daughter has just announced that she wants to join me for two weeks next month when I go check on the building site in the tropics where my company is building a luxury resort. She will expect to go to the beach with her beloved old/young dad & swim through the surf & lay out snoozing on the sand just like we did whenever we could during her childhood. I really feel stuck. She will not feel comfortable doing the beach/body-surfing thing alone, but dad's pretty little bitty-boobies will absolutely require explanation, not to mention the probability of drawing stares from the beach crowd that would embarrass the hell out of her. (Did I mention I also started shaving from neck down years ago?) So, one dad to another, any suggestions on how to turn what looks like a setup for win-lose into a win-win for me & my daughter? I have until mid-January to come up with a solution.

Gay Dad Boob Dude

My response after the jump...

Um... you could wear one of these, GDBD, bind your non-whimsical puppies if need be, and tell your daughter—should she ask—that you had a couple of moles removed from your back and chest earlier this year and that your doctor told you not to out in the sun shirtless. But that solution is so obvious that it has to have occurred to you. I'm thinking you wanted to share your story, Gay Dad Boob Dude, because having an awesome sex life—and a pair of awesome boobies—is almost as much fun as telling people about your awesome sex life. So here's your story, GDBD, homegrown puppies, orgasmic manpussy, contentedly dormant & cherub-sized cock and all.

Now a lot of folks are going to insist that your letter has to be a fake. And your letter could be a fake—they could all be fakes—but there was a long P.S. with a lot of details that I was asked not to include and those details—all of them whimsical in their own way—made a GDBD believer out of me.

I'm sorry I can't share 'em with you, Sloggers, but trust me: this guy is for real. And even if GDBD wasn't for real... even if this letter were fake... wouldn't it still be the "Savage Love" letter of the day? I mean, good lord. Could anything that comes in the mail today possibly compete with this dude's letter whether it's bullshit or not?