Slog
News & ArtsSunday, December 27, 2009
Officewatch 2009™ / Drunk Officewatch 2009™: The Christmas Presents
Posted by Grant Brissey on Sun, Dec 27, 2009 at 6:35 PM
Here are the Christmas presents that Jim Beam and I wrapped for me night before last or yesterday morning (which caused me to go out on yet another overnight drunk, which in turn resulted in me sleeping under my desk until the P.M.):
Compaq laptop with no power chord:
- Property of Amazon
Red Hot Chili Peppers picture book, Me and my Friends. (Stolen from Megan Seling's desk drawer, obviously.):
A four pack of Rize malt liquor with two Rize missing:
A pre-consumed bottle of Jim Beam:
And this can:
2
Grass jelly is a summer dessert best served ice cold with condensed milk or mix with Chinese sweetened soy milk as a drink, maybe with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
3
Dude, I wouldn't eat that jelly if I were you. Not because Anthony says it ain't okay, but because I'm pretty sure your belly may say it ain't okay after all the booze you've apparently consumed. YUCK.
Only you would drink your gifts before you even got them.
Go G!
Only you would drink your gifts before you even got them.
Go G!
4
@2 Sounds good. I'll make it a winter morning breakfast to accompany consideration of the alternative energy toward getting that Compaq up and running.
5
Sometimes I wish I lived in San Fran so i could let other alternative folks do the work of Christian Deathwishers Onward.
6
That's pretty nice carpet for an office with stained cubicles and a dead (or any) fax machine.
Oh, and my AlcoVision™ totally picked up the JB (Jingle Bells, as the old ads used to say). Rize doesn't register.
Oh, and my AlcoVision™ totally picked up the JB (Jingle Bells, as the old ads used to say). Rize doesn't register.
7
Hey wait, why did you give yourself pressies anyway? I thought you said in another post the other day that you were a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS and didn't celebrate CHRISTMAS!!!!
I am so confused, Grant.
I am so confused, Grant.
9
Yeah, well, Witnesses aren't supposed to be getting falling-down drunk either, so my guess is Grant takes his religion about as seriously as most of the rest of us. Which is to say, not very.
10
Oh, Grant.
Grant, Grant, Grant.
You shoulda called, we would have come over to have a big ole Slog party.
Grant, Grant, Grant.
You shoulda called, we would have come over to have a big ole Slog party.
14
Does the laptop even know how to play the guitar? If not, its lack of power chords isn't really worth mentioning.
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