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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Officewatch 2009™ / Housekeeping / Insomnia Officewatch 2009™: Day 1

Posted by Grant Brissey on Thu, Dec 24, 2009 at 12:34 PM

Our tech guys are apparently "sick," (which really means they're either smoking marijuana at home or smoking marijuana on vacation) so Tim offered me "one-hundred large," by which I assume he means either one hundred pennies or one hundred of God-knows-what from one of his drug dealers, to "stay around for the week and make sure the internet tubes don't overheat." And since he's still garnishing my wages for a clerical error, I figured I could use either to get through the winter.

There were a few stragglers left around the office yesterday, but today it looks like either Paul and Dan fired up those machines that write blog posts for them somewhere outside of the office, or they're not writing any (thanks guys), and it's mighty quiet in here.

Just me, Jeff Poulin and his soiled underwear hanging on the wall:

Kelly O and Jay's disgusting coffee pot that they never clean out:

Several pallets of the understandably discontinued alcoholic malt beverage Rize (pictured earlier in the week):

And this troublingly bare vending machine, which I will be forced to patronize later when I'm drunk:

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Comments (20) RSS

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Impromptu Slog Happy tonight?

C'mon, you know you want to. Get together some iPods, bad DVDs (I have Street Fighter: The Movie) and we can get Fnarf and Will drunk on Rize and have them bareknuckle box out front.

Posted by Baconcat on December 24, 2009 at 12:41 PM

Why do you guys have shit-stained clothes framed?

Posted by disgusting beyond words! on December 24, 2009 at 12:43 PM

One hundred large is $100,000. You should hold Tim to his offer or threaten to sue for fraudulent labor practices.

Posted by You Want I Should Take Care Of This? on December 24, 2009 at 12:53 PM

I miss you, Grant, but not that scuzzy office.

Posted by Amy Kate Horn on December 24, 2009 at 1:09 PM

Your hundred large will likely end up in the form of this winner. You've been had.

Posted by Telsa Grills on December 24, 2009 at 1:20 PM

mmmm... Malt Energy Liquor. Y'all should just drop that off outside a high school.

Posted by dwight moody on December 24, 2009 at 1:25 PM

we had stacks of rize at a bar i used to work at. we literally could not give it away. people would rather pay for shitty beer than drink that shit. and the smell... *shudder*

Posted by ingopixel on December 24, 2009 at 1:44 PM

Sorry, my bacony feline friend, I'll be chuggling scary booze and bare-knuckling elsewhere tonight. Yes, believe it or not, I have friends (well, Mrs. Fnarf has friends).

Posted by Fnarf

on December 24, 2009 at 2:03 PM

Well I don't, and I'm happy to bare-knuckle any one of y'all. Bring it.

Posted by jen on December 24, 2009 at 2:11 PM

With soiled undies, what more could you want you ungrateful
serf?

Posted by Vince on December 24, 2009 at 2:13 PM

@1: Bare knuckle? More like a limp wristed nancy boy slap fight if those two are involved.

Posted by Scholar of violence on December 24, 2009 at 2:23 PM

@8: How's "Mrs. Fnarf" doing these days? Has that tire repair kit come in handy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_siqbQDW3…

Posted by Scholar of violence on December 24, 2009 at 2:25 PM

@9: You don't want to meet the twin pythons: left fist and right fist.

BLACHOW!

Posted by Baconcat on December 24, 2009 at 2:28 PM

Go for the Rize. Yes, it may be awful, but you won't even taste it after the first two or three go down.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on December 24, 2009 at 2:40 PM

@12, Mrs. Fnarf is a real live girl. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. But, you know, I'm more of a Nancy Man these days.

Posted by Fnarf

on December 24, 2009 at 3:15 PM

Could that stack of Rize drinks be a clue to the identity of the Incredible Sulk?

(and no, I don't feel like letting it go).

Posted by meowmeowkitty on December 24, 2009 at 4:15 PM

When sysadmins rule the world! Release deadly virus, seal windows, own planet. Slog has spoken.

Posted by GlennFleishman

on December 24, 2009 at 7:45 PM

I really don't know why you bitch so much grant. Clearly, the crunch bars are still with you as well as a nutri grain bar so you have sustenance. also, Kelli's coffee pot looks more like a laxative factory than a coffee pot so boom! Colon health improved! and then you have the rise which theoretically would save you from needing a white, coke fueled christmas. bitch bitch bitch!!!!

Posted by vicvicvictorious on December 26, 2009 at 5:46 AM

Thanks, Grant, your efforts are appreciated. Oh, and merry festive hoohah or something.

Posted by YTAH