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News & ArtsTuesday, December 15, 2009
Sex / Sports / Media Tiger Woods Latest Transgression: Failing to Keep "Golf Writers" Fully Informed About Where He Was Sticking His Dick
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 7:44 AM
I'm not exactly sure what Washington Post "golf writer" Leonard Shapiro wishes Tiger Woods had done differently. Should Woods have turned down all that sponsorship money out of tender consideration for Accenture's feelings? Should have have called a press conference and disclosed each affair immediately after it happened? Should Woods have confided his deepest secrets in sports columnists?
Thirteen years after Tiger Woods's first PGA Tour victory, we're getting a peek behind the curtain of secrecy Woods and his handlers so meticulously weaved over the years, and the view is very different from the family-man, good-guy image he parlayed into a billion in the bank and global fame....I'm stunned, and maybe that's why I've also been feeling somewhat uneasy ever since Woods's run-in with a fire hydrant on Nov. 27 became public. Plainly put, I'm also a little embarrassed that I did not have a clue about Woods's bizarre double life in what has become one of the most shocking free-falls from grace in the history of sports. Everywhere I go these days, people who know what I do for a living keep asking the same question: Did you have any idea this was going on?
I smile and sheepishly shake my head: No, I did not, never even a whiff.
Shapiro sent an email out to a bunch of his fellow golf writers and it turns out that none of them had any idea that Woods was cheating on his wife. And they all seem a bit affronted by Woods' "act." You would think that Woods had personally betrayed them somehow. They seem to think Woods did something wrong when he allowed the press to presume that he was a faithful husband—all married people are presumed to be successfully and joyfully monogamous—and that Woods betrayed them when he failed to come clean after golf writers filed worshipful stories about Tiger Woods, Family Man. It seems a bit hypocritical to chide Woods for the contrast between his public image (good golfer and decent guy) and his private life (good golfer and serial adulterer) knowing that the media—including all those jilted golf writers—would've crucified Woods if he had been open or obvious or indiscreet.
Woods was a hypocrite, I suppose, but isn't hypocrisy what we all want from adulterers? Hypocrisy is "the tribute that vice pays virtue," as the saying goes, and men and women with far less to lose than Woods are expected to behave just as Woods did: keep up the appearance of monogamy—even if you've cheated. Especially if you've cheated. Because if every married person who has cheated were to suddenly admit to it or get caught people would realize how common infidelity is and quickly begin to question the wisdom of placing so much importance on monogamy. People might conclude that marriage is more important than monogamy and decide to be a bit more realistic about the vows we take and the vows we extract.
Which is not to say that cheating is okay. People shouldn't cheat. (There are certain circumstances under which cheating is permissible—sexual neglect, sexual abandonment, sexual selfishness.) But cheating is as routine as it is regrettable and we should regard it as an unpleasantness that an otherwise healthy relationship can survive—we should regard it as an unpleasantness that an otherwise healthy relationship is expected to survive—particularly when there are children involved.
And, I'm sorry, but the hypocritical "act" that Shapiro accuses Woods of performing—allowing himself to be presumed to be faithful—would be impossible without the willingness of golf writers and other Americans to suspend our disbelief. Knowing what we know about infidelity and power and wealth and fame and men and women, did Woods deserve the benefit of the doubt? Does anyone?
You're rich, Tiger. Filthy rich. End of story. You don't need to kiss ass anymore. You've been a piece of cardboard your whole life. Guess we'll just draw some tears on it since your bitchass clearly isn't going to defend itself with a single ounce of skin.
Pussy.
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PS, if Elin wants some payback, this big Swede is willing to help out her cause.
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Tiger's a scumbag, etc, etc, but what I really want to see is some Playgirl.com pinup action (a la Levi Johnston) of that supposed well endowed 10 iron of his. Hey Tiger, you can make a bunch of that money back if you just drop trou and do a couple poses for us. Pretty please?
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Thanks for another bit, Dan. I'm sure you'll be catching shit form the sex-negatives out there-- most of whom are in (or destined for) boring almost sex-less marriages.
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Geesh Dan, you of all people should know this.
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Now the ban has been rescinded, so even the saddest bootlick can now slam the man they once had to worship. It won't be pretty.
Also @9, what if your partner does meet most of your needs, just not the sexual ones? Why do we feel like we have throw away relationships that are good in all ways but one?
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Slowly, thanks to the extraordinary ineptitude of the current MSM and the pervasiveness of the internet, some folks are starting to wake up to it. To realize that they hear or read is only an echo of the "truth."
Tiger's a douche. Film at eleven. Now can we go on with our lives?
I was JUST about to ask why are people acting like Tiger committed murder when all he did was fuck around on his wife? Adultery ain't new, and I bet anything that at least one of his fellow golfers who are now dogging him have gotten some ass on the side
Now it makes sense.
If he wants to continue living the life he's accustomed to he has no choice but to kowtow to the public and, by extension, corporate America. Sure, he could live nicely on his golf winnings, but $10 million a year -- as opposed to $100 million -- is going to seriously cramp his style.
The only thing that could "cramp his style" is his soon-to-be show-me-the-money bloodsucking sexless wife. All it takes to save the endorsements is a fucking trip to Oprah.
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"...hypocrisy is a check upon behaviour whose value from a social point of view has been underrated."
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I disagree, Dan, that cheating inherently includes the sin of hypocrisy. Rampant cheating is a personal failure. Hypocrisy involves condemning others for behavior he himself engages in, no?
I am at a loss to understand how this is any of my business -- or why it should be splashed all over the damned place. I really don't give two figs about the man's sexual behavior and sort of resent being unable to avoid it. The only people whose business this is are Tiger's, his wife's, and their lovers'.
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