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News & ArtsMonday, December 14, 2009
Religion / Books The Terror's of Satan
Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 1:18 PM
This sign should circulate on the internet forever:
You can read the whole sign (including "EMO'S") over at The Rejectionist.
1
And apparently English teachers (who'd have red-penned the hell out of all those incorrect apostrophes) are a part of Satan's plan as well...
2
Gee, why do I love Satan? Well, there are so many many reasons. But I certianly think that Satan speaks to the needs of humanity much more than Christ has. I love to drink, love gay sex, enjoy my weed, adultry would be super fun if I could get married and when I am unemployed I do enjoy having an unemployment check to carry me over to my next job.
I love Satan!!
I love Satan!!
7
Churches are granted tax-exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service, which clearly constitutes a benefit received from the federal government.
So, basically EVERYONE The Devil.
So, basically EVERYONE The Devil.
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I love Satan because Satan is opposed to God and God is a petty, demanding, genocidal fucking asshole. The enemy of my enemy and all that.
So, uh, yeah. That's your question answered, Crazy Sign Guy. Was there something else you wanted?
So, uh, yeah. That's your question answered, Crazy Sign Guy. Was there something else you wanted?
12
@10: Penalty kicks. They're a terrible way to decide a tournament. It's clearly Satan's doing if another World Cup final ends on them.
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"THIEVE'S" was my favorite. It seems that crazy sign people tend to have pretty awful apostrophe placement, but I do see ads for "hot dog's" and "tee-shirt's" and signs that say things like "welcome to the Johnson's house" just about everywhere.
22
oh man, this Wifebeating Emo Loud Mouth Effminate Pervert Sports Nut is gonna come over thar and kick some ASSS!!!
well that is if I weren't such a Fornicating Liar & Sophisticated Drunkard.
well that is if I weren't such a Fornicating Liar & Sophisticated Drunkard.
23
Well, thank the Lord that I'm just a sports nut, and not a sport's nut', so I can go to heaven and hang out with awesome people like the person who made this sign.
24
I noticed Jews aren't on the list, usually they're first. Finally someone respects them?
And what does P.K's mean?
And what does P.K's mean?
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@10 - Seriously though, what the hell does that stand for? I'm intrigued. Promise Keepers? Paul Krugman? Placekickers?
I made the list thirteen times. I'm guessing in this crowd that's not a very good score.
I made the list thirteen times. I'm guessing in this crowd that's not a very good score.
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preacher's (or pastor's) kid, they are usually spoiled assholes. Frankly one of the more accurate items on the list
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Next time there going to include Grammar Snob's (unless we are included with Sophisticated Swine - which is actually a pretty awesome term).
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Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.
31
Also, Bahi is actually spelt Baha'i.
Of course they don't put an apostrophe where there is ACTUALLY supposed to be one... fucktards.
Of course they don't put an apostrophe where there is ACTUALLY supposed to be one... fucktards.
32
Oops, looks like I can make errors, too "Next time they are..."
I was too busy mentally checking that list of reasons why I love The Devil. It's most of those... and they forgot Vegetarian's.
I was too busy mentally checking that list of reasons why I love The Devil. It's most of those... and they forgot Vegetarian's.
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PK - I'm going with people who gamble on all par 3 holes in golf by participating in the PK bet (closest to the pin).
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@12- I agree, God clearly intended golden goal overtime until the issue is resolved.
"Government recipient's" cracks me up. Like, everyone who drives on a town, county, state, or federal road is going to hell?
"Government recipient's" cracks me up. Like, everyone who drives on a town, county, state, or federal road is going to hell?
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ok, i had to count - i only made it 14 times, and that's counting myself as an atheist catholic. i also counted myself as a "high fallutent sophisticated swine" (one thing?) which i keep reading as "high flatulent sophisticated swine, (and would probably still apply).
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It is well known that superfluou's apostrophe's keep S'atan at Bay. Like the Mormon temple garment's, or "magic underpant's" to you and me.
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I just saw that sign in real life! In Salem MA on Halloween (Salem on Halloween has a kind of mardi gras frat party tradition, every rides the train up from Boston and acts douchey.)
Anyways same words, same font, same list, same material, even the same colors only they were reversed, the type in red w/the background yellow. They had bullhorns. Must be the same people. So maybe they're an everywhere thing but probably they're Boston based.
Anyways same words, same font, same list, same material, even the same colors only they were reversed, the type in red w/the background yellow. They had bullhorns. Must be the same people. So maybe they're an everywhere thing but probably they're Boston based.
48
God, so illiterate. "Theive's" is my personal favorite. "Effeminate Men" is pretty hilarious too. But of course, God damn those "Bahi's"!
But what if you're a "Wifebeater" that claims defense in beating a "Loud Mouthed Woman"? Are you both going to hell?
How about a "Sophisticated Swine" that looks down on "Sports Nut's"? Which goes to hell first? Or do they go at the same time?
And what about one of the "Catholic's" who protests an "Abortionist" clinic? I assume they're tossed into the flames as well...
It's nice they think "Racist's" love the devil too. But doesn't that make the signmaker in agreement with "Liberal's", also?
And of course, the person who made this sign has never used a road, called the police, or turned on the tap water, so as to avoid being one of those Satanic "Government Recipient's."
"You will not be destroyed for your anger. You will be destroyed by your anger." --Buddha
But what if you're a "Wifebeater" that claims defense in beating a "Loud Mouthed Woman"? Are you both going to hell?
How about a "Sophisticated Swine" that looks down on "Sports Nut's"? Which goes to hell first? Or do they go at the same time?
And what about one of the "Catholic's" who protests an "Abortionist" clinic? I assume they're tossed into the flames as well...
It's nice they think "Racist's" love the devil too. But doesn't that make the signmaker in agreement with "Liberal's", also?
And of course, the person who made this sign has never used a road, called the police, or turned on the tap water, so as to avoid being one of those Satanic "Government Recipient's."
"You will not be destroyed for your anger. You will be destroyed by your anger." --Buddha
52
Aw, I only got ten... Maybe "fullutent" is supposed to be high fallutin?
Maybe I'd make 11 if I had been born in the year of the boar (and therefore be a sophisticated swine). Instead, I'm a (at least semi-) sophisticated dog.
Maybe I'd make 11 if I had been born in the year of the boar (and therefore be a sophisticated swine). Instead, I'm a (at least semi-) sophisticated dog.
53
PK short for PKK, the Kurdish separatist party in Turkey. With all those apostrophes, they ran out of paint for the other K.
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I was a thieve until I repented and believed in Jesus. I'm still high fallutent, but my doctor says that'll clear up when the antibiotics kick in.
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How come the Buddhist"s (sic) get a double quote, and druggies get no apostrophe at all? I claim favoritism.
Oh, and I score either 19 or 20, depending on what P.K's (why no period after the K???) turn out to be. Pretty Kitties? Promiscuous Kids? Protestant Kin? Pretentious Kangaroos?
Oh, and I score either 19 or 20, depending on what P.K's (why no period after the K???) turn out to be. Pretty Kitties? Promiscuous Kids? Protestant Kin? Pretentious Kangaroos?
59
I love the "Sport's Nut's". It's very apparent that whoever makes these signs just has a long list of "types" he doesn't like, and assumes that each and every one of them is going to hell. God, I love crazy people.
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I really have a strong urge to follow him around with a sign reading I Am The Grammarian About Whom You Have Been Warned.
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@60- You could perform a David Foster Wallace homage and form the Militant Grammarians of Washington. I'd join, but I abuse the fuck out of parenthesis (and semi-colons).
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Well, since we're all on the same team, let's get together over drinks to discuss and share new ways of being depraved. I think the Jehovahs witnesses are going to need a little coaching
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