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Monday, December 14, 2009

Crime / Music Define "Soulless"

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 8:22 AM

Miss Arkansas—who should never be paroled—sings "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" from Dream Girls at the 1994 Miss America pageant. Courtesy of Slog tipper Joey the Girl.

Comments (31) RSS

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Ugh.

Posted by Not Shy in Chi on December 14, 2009 at 8:28 AM

Nicole ain't no Jennifer.

Posted by yawp on December 14, 2009 at 8:36 AM

What's wrong with that? It's closer to the broadway version of the song anyway. I'd hit it.

Posted by meks on December 14, 2009 at 8:38 AM

this post lacks context

Posted by Andy_Squirrel on December 14, 2009 at 8:41 AM

She just chose the wrong song. She should have gone with "Moon River".

Posted by Vince on December 14, 2009 at 8:43 AM

No, no, no, no way!

Posted by jmcnyc

on December 14, 2009 at 8:58 AM

OK, even Googling "Miss Arkansas" did not help me. Can someone please explain to what this is referring?

Posted by Katwoman on December 14, 2009 at 9:04 AM

Her crimes against music, judging from the evidence.

Posted by Dingo on December 14, 2009 at 9:08 AM

I never realized that song could sound so terribly impotent.

Posted by Badger on December 14, 2009 at 9:23 AM

Perhaps the left-out context is this: the most recent version of this song just came out last week, on the tv show Glee. Here is the clip for comparison:

http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=hdiPPV1X92U

Mercedes version is a jillion times more soulful. Miss Arkansas is soulless by comparison.

Posted by Christin on December 14, 2009 at 9:28 AM

Her bio says she is a motivational speaker with and has recording career as a pianist and singer.

http://www.bethanne.net/bar_bio.html

Posted by kim in portland

on December 14, 2009 at 9:31 AM

I love the forced head whip after "not walking out" at 1:24. Hello Miz Roboto.

Posted by starsandgarters on December 14, 2009 at 9:31 AM

rewind:

strike the word with.

she is a motivational speaker and ...

Posted by kim in portland

on December 14, 2009 at 9:32 AM

Wow. The pageant circuit must be HARD on 24 year olds - she looks like a 45 year old talk show host. She's even managed to squeeze all the youth and freshness out of her voice. Gosh.

Posted by BSRNBSN on December 14, 2009 at 9:45 AM

I expected a cover of a Marx Brothers song, but I was thinking of Hello, I Must Be Going. I'd like to see that done by a beauty contestant.

Posted by Christy O on December 14, 2009 at 10:12 AM

Meh. It's not that bad. She's given it some limp 70s styling. Sounds like Dione Warwick with a heavy cold. There's much, much worse.

Posted by Fnarf

on December 14, 2009 at 10:22 AM

Classic. Moments like this are why I'm a pageant queen.

Posted by Samuel on December 14, 2009 at 10:33 AM

This is how this song is done for compitition, Arkansas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b8dtvMak…

Posted by jewritto on December 14, 2009 at 10:40 AM

wow, I never would have guessed this was done in the '90s - seems straight out of the mid-70s. Then again, Miss Arkansas looks like she was 24 in the mid-70s. Really loved the tiny amount of sass she tried out for the "You! You! and You!" bit.

As Simon Cowell might say, this song is too big for her voice.

Posted by genevieve on December 14, 2009 at 10:42 AM

Soullessness is the goal of white upper-class American culture. It takes a lifetime to divorce your inner life from your facial muscles, and to burn out any light behind your eyes.

How else are you going to stang proudly behind your Senator husband as he admits his affairs on national television? How else are you going to keep your mouth shut when your executive husband is indited for putting cancer causing agents in baby formula, and you happened to overhear an incriminating conversation over the phone?

Yeah, that chick is a catch. She can sing a song like that without evoking a single emotion.

Or she just might be too nervous to perform well.

Posted by Toasterhedgehog on December 14, 2009 at 10:48 AM

I love karaoke!

Posted by very bad homo on December 14, 2009 at 10:55 AM

That was a VERY Andy Williams-style rendition. Which is to say it was made for white folks!

Posted by SpireaX

on December 14, 2009 at 11:03 AM

0:58 was the best I could do. Her "no no no no" showed me everything I needed to see.

Posted by monkey on December 14, 2009 at 11:24 AM

@Kim: Did she ever star in any Wonder Bread commercials?

Posted by kk in seattle on December 14, 2009 at 11:25 AM

Thank you, Dan. That was nearly 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Posted by fashnable1 on December 14, 2009 at 11:31 AM

C'mon. Posting pageant queen talent competitions to point out their "hilarious" lack of skill, edge and soul is aiming awfully low. I think we're about as shocked, surprised and entertained if you had posted a video of a fat man being hit in the groin with a wiffle bat or pointing out how bland my mom’s casseroles can be. Nothing but misdirected unresolved anger here, Dan. You can and have done so much better.

Posted by My groin hurts on December 14, 2009 at 11:53 AM

"Yeah, that chick is a catch. She can sing a song like that without evoking a single emotion. "

And if she can have sex like that, she will make some WASP a wonderful wife!

Posted by gttim on December 14, 2009 at 11:57 AM

Arkansas has laws against white women sounding like black women. It is called mis-singination

Posted by thatsnotright on December 14, 2009 at 12:00 PM

I wonder if the bright lights ever make her sweat?

Nah, of course not. Kinda creepy.

Posted by saxfanatic on December 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM

Not very good, I guess, but I've heard LOTS worse from established pop stars. At least she can sing a little. What's the point of this post--making fun of an almost sixteen-year-old talent show?

Posted by Timmytee on December 14, 2009 at 4:45 PM