Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, December 8, 2009
Politics / Sex Will Santorum Run?
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 3:12 PM
Yes, of course it'll run. If you use too much lube, or your lube is too thin, and you're fucking someone who didn't have the sense to take a dump fir—oh, wait. We're talking about the other Santorum:
If you worried, even for a second, that the Republican presidential primary might turn boring come 2012, you can rest easy. If nothing else, the possibility that former Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., will be jumping into the race should make things interesting. Santorum has certainly been acting as if he at least wants to keep the door open. He's been visiting early primary states and stumping for other Republicans there, building up a list of favors he could potentially call in down the line. And in an interview with ABC News on Monday, he said he's "absolutely taking a look" at running.
Check out the comments thread. Hehe. You can run, Rick, but you can't hide...
5
Dan? uh? the guy is old news. Fox doesn't even treat him with much respect anymore. You do, though, because you're a megalomaniac.
6
I'm with VBH@2. This could be fun. Sarah Palin, Santorum, Huckabee... It's like the whole crazy factory running for the Republican nomination.
7
I can understand the need to keep the door open for Santorum, but why must men like this keep the door open by repeatedly inserting themselves in places where they don't fit, can't enter smoothly and can't slide out of without leaving a trail of regrets?
9
Imagine the "dark horse" headlines: "Could Santorum be the dark horse and sneak through the back door?".... or even better, the losing headlines: "Santorum left behind in a crowded field of eager candidates"... I hope his children, including the dead ones in jars on his desk, all have to suffer the shame of having the name Santorum! May they always be compared to frothy slurries of semen, lube, and fecal matter! Gotta go, my dog likes oral by 2AM or he beats me!
10
hehe.
indeed.
Word to the wise, girls-
the real world won't find the whole 'fecal slurry' thing as cute as Slog.
Contrary to the navel gazing perspective provided here on Slog by Dan's incessant insecure bragging about any and every usage of it most people are unaware of the term.
If Santorum does pursue a candidacy and Dan's precious word phrase gains wider distribution several things will happen-
>reasonable people of all political views will recognize it as a juvenile vicious sleazy stain on political discourse that goes beyond the pale;
>to the extent that potential supporters become aware of it there will be a positive backlash in Santorums favor out of resentment toward the 'smart ass vulgar gay boy's little stunt- this effect will be magnified in Primaries;
>people unaware of or who have never considered the "frothy fecal" after effect of anal sex will have a strong "ick" reaction that will not increase the 'warm and fuzzies' for Dan or the gays;
Dan will be seen by the wider political world as a shallow immature freak and the appearances on CNN and MSNBC will start to dry up.
We realize this is hard to fanthom in the junior high boys' bathroom that is Slog where this scatalogical cleverness is seen as great wit but you should consider a grown-up's advice about it.
indeed.
Word to the wise, girls-
the real world won't find the whole 'fecal slurry' thing as cute as Slog.
Contrary to the navel gazing perspective provided here on Slog by Dan's incessant insecure bragging about any and every usage of it most people are unaware of the term.
If Santorum does pursue a candidacy and Dan's precious word phrase gains wider distribution several things will happen-
>reasonable people of all political views will recognize it as a juvenile vicious sleazy stain on political discourse that goes beyond the pale;
>to the extent that potential supporters become aware of it there will be a positive backlash in Santorums favor out of resentment toward the 'smart ass vulgar gay boy's little stunt- this effect will be magnified in Primaries;
>people unaware of or who have never considered the "frothy fecal" after effect of anal sex will have a strong "ick" reaction that will not increase the 'warm and fuzzies' for Dan or the gays;
Dan will be seen by the wider political world as a shallow immature freak and the appearances on CNN and MSNBC will start to dry up.
We realize this is hard to fanthom in the junior high boys' bathroom that is Slog where this scatalogical cleverness is seen as great wit but you should consider a grown-up's advice about it.
11
Making Santorum a pejorative could be one of the best thing that Dan Savage ever did for America(TM). Drawing Santorum out and exposing him to scrutiny will show that for all of the shine, he is mostly shit.
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