He's a former Republican elected official, the son of a baptist minister, a member of the NRA, and a (recently divorced) family values conservative with three darling kids. He started his own political consulting firm before he left office ("Common Sense Conservative Consulting"), which wasn't quite legal, and worked for Mitt Romney in 2008. And now he's in trouble with the law for allegedly beating and choking a woman he met online for a little postmarital sex. But it's all her fault because she had a safe word—two of 'em!—and she neglected to use them.

The Scott County court clerk confirms a felony complaint has been filed against former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton for an incident that allegedly took place Nov. 15 in Sikeston, Mo. [...] The complaint alleges Jetton “recklessly caused serious physical injury to ——- by hitting her on the head, and choking her resulting in unconsciousness and the loss of the function of part of her body.” ... The affidavit attached to the probably cause statement alleges Jetton went to the home of the victim Nov. 15, where he and the victim drank wine and watched a football game. The victim claims Jetton hit her on the face and choked her, leaving bruises that the police department photographed. The affidavit claims the assault occurred during the night and into the morning of Nov. 16. It says Jetton and the victim agreed on a “safe word” “to use as a stop word during intercourse.”

The safe word—or prhase—was "green balloons" and Jetton totally would've stopped what he was doing if only this woman had used her safe words. Why on earth didn't she use her safe words? Um, gee... maybe because Jetton drugged her?

Jetton went to the woman's residence in Sikeston, Mo. with two bottles of wine, according to the report. "(The woman) said she did not see him pour the wine because she did not follow him into the kitchen, but he returned to the living room and handed her a glass of wine. (The woman) remembers watching a football game and said once she finished the glass of wine, she began 'fading' in and out and remembered losing consciousness several times during the evening," wrote Detective Bethany McDermott in her report.

UPDATE: No one could've predicted...

Missouri’s statewide lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender equality organization—issued a statement today criticizing state House Speaker Rod Jetton’s support of a state law that would ban homosexual acts.

In 2007 Jetton, then Speaker of the House in Missouri, stripped another member Missouri House of Representatives of his committee chairmanship after the house member—Rep. Scott Lipke—added language to a bill removing "14 words from our laws" and repealing "the gay sex ban in Missouri." Missouri's law was unenforceable after the Supreme Court decided in Lawrence v. Texas that state laws against gay sex were unconstitutional. But Jetton didn't think Missouri's law against gay sex should be repealed because...

"Judges come and go, and Supreme Court decisions change back and forth. Who knows? These new judges may reverse that decision."

You see gay sex might be illegal again some day—just like it is now in Uganda—and Missouri could've started enforcing its law against gay sex on that blessed day but now it can't because this Lipke person went and pulled a fast one. And how can straight men who enjoy violent, nearly anonymous sex with women they meet online sleep peacefully at night knowing that, in Jetton's own words, it's "legal to engage in deviate sexual intercourse" in Missouri?