Slog
News & ArtsMonday, December 7, 2009
Media "You're Still Confusing Us, Bill!"
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Dec 7, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Not even Bill O'Reilly can tell the Fox News bimbos apart in this segment about the War on Christmas. "What is it about Christmas they don't like?" O'Reilly asks in reference to some of those there-ain't-no-God ads running on buses across the country. Bill concludes: "They don't like the baby Jesus!" Um... maybe Bill should be asking someone from the American Humanist Society, which placed the ads, and not this pair of interchangeable Fox News bimbos? And Bill? This atheist put up his Christmas tree this weekend—complete with a crèche.
2
What is it about Christmas we don't like? Well, damn, how long do you have?
I guess mostly we don't like the fact that we're going to get Christmas'd no matter what we do, whether we like it or not, and if we don't grin and pretend to like it, we're going to be called Scrooges, Grinches, or petty, immature atheists.
That, and the constant presence of carols and giggling Santas in every single merchant establishment, everywhere, all the time, starting around Halloween.
I guess mostly we don't like the fact that we're going to get Christmas'd no matter what we do, whether we like it or not, and if we don't grin and pretend to like it, we're going to be called Scrooges, Grinches, or petty, immature atheists.
That, and the constant presence of carols and giggling Santas in every single merchant establishment, everywhere, all the time, starting around Halloween.
3
"This atheist put up his Christmas tree this weekend—complete with a creche."
and this proves what, exactly??
and this proves what, exactly??
4
Danny, if Slog hired a couple of blond binbos maybe your ratings would crawl out of the crapper.
Not that liberal use of the F word isn't also a really clever tactic to drive hits...
Not that liberal use of the F word isn't also a really clever tactic to drive hits...
6
I know how to tell them apart. The bimbo in red looks like (and is) the bigger asshole, whereas the bim in purple clearly comes from a narrower gene pool.
8
Christmas = " Christian feast commemorating the birth of Jesus."
Along with the Nativity crèche someone needs to make sure to place an angel or a star at the top of the tree, you know to remember the host of angels and the Star of Bethlehem from the Nativity.
Nativity = " Birth, especially the place, conditions, or circumstances of being born."
As in the birth of Jesus.
Along with the Nativity crèche someone needs to make sure to place an angel or a star at the top of the tree, you know to remember the host of angels and the Star of Bethlehem from the Nativity.
Nativity = " Birth, especially the place, conditions, or circumstances of being born."
As in the birth of Jesus.
9
I start getting sick of Christmas (which is one day btw) after we've celebrated it for 8 damn fucking weeks before December 25th!!
The next fucking Christmas song I hear I am going postal all over Lovechild's fat ass!!
The next fucking Christmas song I hear I am going postal all over Lovechild's fat ass!!
10
Oh, I'm also going to jack off on the next nativity scene I see to and will send the picture to Loveschild.
11
I have a silver cannabis leaf on top of my tree to guide me to the east to the sanctuary of my saviour and the presence of the Logos.
12
@8: Christmas was an invention of the early catholic church to draw the pagans into catholicism, which succeeded. The majority of symbols of christmas are catholic or pagan in origin.
The winter-time birth of a god-like child is a frequently-used image in ancient mythology and follows along with the solstice and rebirth of the sun which slowly gains in strength in the coldest days of winter in advance of the warmth of spring.
The winter-time birth of a god-like child is a frequently-used image in ancient mythology and follows along with the solstice and rebirth of the sun which slowly gains in strength in the coldest days of winter in advance of the warmth of spring.
13
@11- I used to know some guy's who's dad was a proficient grower of fine cannabis. I was amazed to find their family Holiday tree decorated not only with garland and little glass balls, but also large buds. Very beautiful and classy.
14
Lovechild, Fun Fact, the Bible specifically says not to decorate trees!
Jeremiah 10:2-4
2 This is what the LORD says:
"Do not learn the ways of the nations
or be terrified by signs in the sky,
though the nations are terrified by them.
3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless;
they cut a tree out of the forest,
and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
4 They adorn it with silver and gold;
they fasten it with hammer and nails
so it will not totter.
Jeremiah 10:2-4
2 This is what the LORD says:
"Do not learn the ways of the nations
or be terrified by signs in the sky,
though the nations are terrified by them.
3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless;
they cut a tree out of the forest,
and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
4 They adorn it with silver and gold;
they fasten it with hammer and nails
so it will not totter.
15
Christmas is never once mentioned in the Bible
And since we all know that the Bible is unerring and Christmas is not in the Bible, it doesn't exist.
What we are seeing is a bunch of heathens pretending to enjoy themsleves and that is really pissing off the Christianists.
Bite me already......
And since we all know that the Bible is unerring and Christmas is not in the Bible, it doesn't exist.
What we are seeing is a bunch of heathens pretending to enjoy themsleves and that is really pissing off the Christianists.
Bite me already......
17
I wish those pesky Christians could disavow themselves their grasping,collective sense of entitlement and just give up on trying to ruin Saturnalia for everybody else.
18
14@ Er, that passage talks about astrology and idolatry, "craftsman shapes it with his chisel." = carving idols out of trees. Christians do make idols out of Christmas trees nor do we bow to them.
Go to church Rob, you know nothing about the Bible, you might own or have borrowed one but you do not comprehend what is written in it.
Go to church Rob, you know nothing about the Bible, you might own or have borrowed one but you do not comprehend what is written in it.
19
14@ Er, that passage talks about astrology and idolatry, "craftsman shapes it with his chisel." = carving idols out of trees. Christians do not make idols out of Christmas trees nor do we bow to them.
Go to church Rob, you know nothing about the Bible, you might own or have borrowed one but you do not comprehend what is written in it.
Go to church Rob, you know nothing about the Bible, you might own or have borrowed one but you do not comprehend what is written in it.
20
Hahaha!
Oh dear, Loveschild.
"Stop READING the Bible, Rob! That's not how you learn things about it! Go let someone else tell you what it's about! Pffffft, you don't read Bibles. You wave them about, and some pedophile at a pulpit explains what's inside them to you. Don't you know ANYTHING about religion?"
Oh dear, Loveschild.
"Stop READING the Bible, Rob! That's not how you learn things about it! Go let someone else tell you what it's about! Pffffft, you don't read Bibles. You wave them about, and some pedophile at a pulpit explains what's inside them to you. Don't you know ANYTHING about religion?"
21
But what about Festivus???
As far as being sick of Christmas, retailers push that never-ending drive from Halloween through New Year's Day because the majority of their revenue for the year is generated during those few weeks.
If atheists and other "sick of Christmas" folks want to shorten the season, spend more money during the rest of the year and maybe the "holiday shopping season" will not seem like such a necessary push for merchants. Or don't. Doesn't matter to me.
As far as being sick of Christmas, retailers push that never-ending drive from Halloween through New Year's Day because the majority of their revenue for the year is generated during those few weeks.
If atheists and other "sick of Christmas" folks want to shorten the season, spend more money during the rest of the year and maybe the "holiday shopping season" will not seem like such a necessary push for merchants. Or don't. Doesn't matter to me.
22
@20 ftw. and yeah, the guy in the santa hat totally hates christmas, cause, you know, he hates babies...
24
Whoah whoah whoah. One of them claimed that this is "the most sacred time of the year for christians."
Seriously?
Lent and Easter.
Seriously?
Lent and Easter.
26
I would love to see Christians go on an all out battle to remove the commercialism from Christmas. I would love to see them push for a boycott on buying Christmas presents. How about it? I would love to see Christmas turned into a true remembrance of the birth of Christ, and not an excuse to get people out buying crap for people who don't want the crap they're getting. Let's see that on your web site, LC. How about it?
Most of the traditional crap about Christmas in our culture was ripped off from the pagans that the Catholics forced to become Christian.
Most of the traditional crap about Christmas in our culture was ripped off from the pagans that the Catholics forced to become Christian.
27
Fucking Christians are ruining Christmas for me. I wish it was more commercialized. The real meaning of Christmas is TOYS.
28
My favorite is the point about not running a ad with a Santa hat in July proves they hate christians. Dur, Santa is featured at July 4.
29
I don't believe for a second that Billo actually believes any of the ridiculous shit he just said in that video. He's doing it for ratings. It's his idiot conservative moron followers who will swallow what he says and THEY'LL believe it.
30
And remember folks. Christmas, as we know it, was basically invented by Dickens. before it was just a feast day. The big celebration was the Baptism of Hey Suess which I think was the 12th day of Christmas. It wasn't until the "Spirit of giving" and "Goodwill towards men" stuff in "A Christmas Carol" until it became the behemoth it is today.
Plus, the pagan holiday we appropriated into Christmas, wasn't it a gift exchange between Roman lovers? (Male or female)
Plus, the pagan holiday we appropriated into Christmas, wasn't it a gift exchange between Roman lovers? (Male or female)
31
Well, this atheist likes Yuletide celebrations. I just think Christians need to stop being so fucking high and mighty, take a joke, chill the fuck out when I say "seasons greetings" and recognize the fact that they stole the holiday from pagans.
Happy Saturnalia everyone.
Happy Saturnalia everyone.
32
The conservative Christian War on Christmas has ruined Christmas for me, at least, for the last few years.
Not the season, mind you. My sacrifices to Thor on His Great Oak may be effigies in chocolate and gingerbread, rather than the carcasses of slaves and animals, but I still appreciate the Yuletide tree for what it was (and is), and the season for what it originally was, that is, the last time we would see our children joyful and flush before frost, flu and famine started killing them off (and yes, usually the youngest were the first to go). This season is not about which gods to whom we pray, rather is a celebration of life itself, because many of us would be expected to to die.
No, rather the contemporary Christmas controversy means that I can't take the greeting Merry Christmas at its Dickensian face value. Passersby who wish it on me are more likely to be confirming I am of the body than merely wishing me well. Retailers who wish me any seasonal greeting, whether Christmas specific or generically vague, do so according to policy dictated by whom their managers wish to offend the least. Incidents of a sincere greeting in the spirit of the season I expect to be the rare exception, not the rule.
Thanks, Bill. And thank you, Focus on the Family.
Not only is Jesus' birthdate unknown and probably during the spring at that, (thanks to the timemark of the Roman census) but the importance of nativity is only in its use as a competitive substitute for the other heathen seasonal festivities. Belief amongst the choir was that only the impious celebrated birthdays, when they were at their brightest in the innocence of youth (the pious were expected to enlighten in their venerability). Far more important to traditional Christians were the Epiphany and Easter.
So those who insist that Jesus is the reason for the season are intentionally throwing their weight around, making sure you are toeing their line, in this fine nation where we believe in freedom from that kind of bullshit. If you see it happening, I suggest you respond in kind with a true traditional Christmas wish:
May the reaper get lost on the way to your door.
More...
Not the season, mind you. My sacrifices to Thor on His Great Oak may be effigies in chocolate and gingerbread, rather than the carcasses of slaves and animals, but I still appreciate the Yuletide tree for what it was (and is), and the season for what it originally was, that is, the last time we would see our children joyful and flush before frost, flu and famine started killing them off (and yes, usually the youngest were the first to go). This season is not about which gods to whom we pray, rather is a celebration of life itself, because many of us would be expected to to die.
No, rather the contemporary Christmas controversy means that I can't take the greeting Merry Christmas at its Dickensian face value. Passersby who wish it on me are more likely to be confirming I am of the body than merely wishing me well. Retailers who wish me any seasonal greeting, whether Christmas specific or generically vague, do so according to policy dictated by whom their managers wish to offend the least. Incidents of a sincere greeting in the spirit of the season I expect to be the rare exception, not the rule.
Thanks, Bill. And thank you, Focus on the Family.
Not only is Jesus' birthdate unknown and probably during the spring at that, (thanks to the timemark of the Roman census) but the importance of nativity is only in its use as a competitive substitute for the other heathen seasonal festivities. Belief amongst the choir was that only the impious celebrated birthdays, when they were at their brightest in the innocence of youth (the pious were expected to enlighten in their venerability). Far more important to traditional Christians were the Epiphany and Easter.
So those who insist that Jesus is the reason for the season are intentionally throwing their weight around, making sure you are toeing their line, in this fine nation where we believe in freedom from that kind of bullshit. If you see it happening, I suggest you respond in kind with a true traditional Christmas wish:
May the reaper get lost on the way to your door.
36
18/19 Loveschild, funny how you twist the Bible scriptures to fit your agenda. Christmas trees are from Pagan traditions that Christians much later adopted, and that exactly what that passage says NOT to do. You partake in rituals learned from Pagan religions. But it okay for you to ignore what you don't want to follow, right?
37
Ahahahahahahahahaha! FOX is so much fun! It's interesting to note that the ads say nothing about Christmas; they question the existence of a god, they don't explicitly attack what has become a largely secular, materialist holiday (and as they point out, most atheists celebrate Christmas, even the ones without religious family members, because it's a cultural holiday more than a religious one at this point). They do invoke some Christmas motifs, and that's a matter of the target audience; if the USA were majority-Shinto, for example, the ads would use ancestor-temple motifs.
Yeah, we're super jealous of Christmas, because there's absolutely no way we can exchange gifts and have family and friends together to celebrate the solstice, or winter, or for no reason at all except to celebrate. Wait, never mind; it turns out it is possible. The only difference between atheist "Christmas" and religious "Christmas" is that we atheists typically don't go to church for four hours (and some of us even do that to hear choir, see manger scene play-acting, etc.). I promise you Bill, those of us "missing" church are not jealous of the fact that you're there (especially since I don't know of any churches that do ID checks to keep atheists out - though there may well be some).
Also, I'd like to celebrate the fact that I am apparently not the only one who thinks all of the female "conservative" pundits we see on the telly look fucking identical. Is there perhaps some sort of FOX cloning farm dedicated to creating the perfect neo-con woman? That actually wouldn't surprise me, as Murdoch is fantastically wealthy and fucking crazy.
Yeah, we're super jealous of Christmas, because there's absolutely no way we can exchange gifts and have family and friends together to celebrate the solstice, or winter, or for no reason at all except to celebrate. Wait, never mind; it turns out it is possible. The only difference between atheist "Christmas" and religious "Christmas" is that we atheists typically don't go to church for four hours (and some of us even do that to hear choir, see manger scene play-acting, etc.). I promise you Bill, those of us "missing" church are not jealous of the fact that you're there (especially since I don't know of any churches that do ID checks to keep atheists out - though there may well be some).
Also, I'd like to celebrate the fact that I am apparently not the only one who thinks all of the female "conservative" pundits we see on the telly look fucking identical. Is there perhaps some sort of FOX cloning farm dedicated to creating the perfect neo-con woman? That actually wouldn't surprise me, as Murdoch is fantastically wealthy and fucking crazy.
39
20, I know and understand the Bible much more than Loveschild, and she knows it. That is why she so rarely responds to me. She knows a few passages that others have spoon fed to her, but she has no real understanding of the book.
40
The thing I hate most about Christmas is having to listen to everyone telling me that a Christmas tree evolved from a yule log, and that all the Christian holidays are coordinated to coopt the agricultural holidays of various pagan cultures in Western Europe. Every. Fucking. Year. I guess the idea is that the fact that Christian imagery falls so neatly into the stream of the collective unconscious, it's proof that most rituals related to the Bible and the church are products of human thought, rather than divine inspiration -- or, alternatively, that the collective unconscious is tapped into a divine current, so all those pagan rituals are equally valid.
To which I am forced to respond with a resounding, "Duh."
And yet, every year: Jesus is like Osiris; Odin was crucified; Easter lines up with the vernal equinox. Yadda yadda yadda. I swear to god, there should be some kind of discretion test before someone's allowed to get a humanities degree.
To which I am forced to respond with a resounding, "Duh."
And yet, every year: Jesus is like Osiris; Odin was crucified; Easter lines up with the vernal equinox. Yadda yadda yadda. I swear to god, there should be some kind of discretion test before someone's allowed to get a humanities degree.
41
Thank you Kim!
I have no idea what you meant by that, Christampa.
Judah, I'm happy to leave well enough alone except the War on Christmas bullshit is yanked out Every. Single. Year. And, it has been ever since America the Christian Nation has been a popular concept to be tossed around by the fundies. So long as they keep it up, I feel compelled to respond in kind; doing so helps me feel better.
Of course, I have no humanities degree, I just read a lot, so you may be talking to / about someone else.
December 25th is also the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton, who changed human thought and advanced civilization far more than JC ever did.
I have no idea what you meant by that, Christampa.
Judah, I'm happy to leave well enough alone except the War on Christmas bullshit is yanked out Every. Single. Year. And, it has been ever since America the Christian Nation has been a popular concept to be tossed around by the fundies. So long as they keep it up, I feel compelled to respond in kind; doing so helps me feel better.
Of course, I have no humanities degree, I just read a lot, so you may be talking to / about someone else.
December 25th is also the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton, who changed human thought and advanced civilization far more than JC ever did.
42
I meant you would be a prime candidate for Freaky Friday, where Slog Commenters take over Slog for the day. You're more interesting than most of the people they've had before.
43
@41, not only is the date of December 25th kind of made up as a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but considering the meshugenah way the current solar calendar was adopted, it's clear we've been inconsistent about it over the centuries.
The more important Christian holidays of Lent and Easter are calculated using an ecclesiastical lunar calendar. Hmmm... Could that possibly mean that Christmas, which uses the solar civil calendar isn't really a Christian Holy Day at all?
The more important Christian holidays of Lent and Easter are calculated using an ecclesiastical lunar calendar. Hmmm... Could that possibly mean that Christmas, which uses the solar civil calendar isn't really a Christian Holy Day at all?
44
Remember JunieGirl, "Festivus begins with the airing of grievances"! Grievance no. 1 today is fundie Christian fuckwits.
46
Oh MY GOD these people have NO BRAINS... wow.... if their god created them in his image... then he's that dumb too.
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