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News & ArtsMonday, December 7, 2009
Media That's Forking Stupid
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Dec 7, 2009 at 11:20 AM
Shorter version of the guest editorial in Friday's Seattle Times: It's okay for me to visit Forks because I visit Forks for all the right reasons but it's not okay for them to visit Forks because there are way too many of them and they're going to overwhelm Forks and besides they're visiting Forks for all the wrong reasons but everyone should visit Forks because there aren't too many of everyone so long as everyone comes to visit Forks for all the right reasons like me.
1
Replace all the "visit Forks" with "get married" and you've got the conservative argument against gay marriage. And that's forking stupid too.
2
I was going to say it's nearly analogous to the fundamentalist Christan Right's view of extramarital sex. They're "only human" when they get caught, yet everyone else is a filthy, degenerate Satanist even when in committed, loving and CONSENSUAL relationships.
3
Um, yeah. The guy first visited Forks in 2003, and his second visit was last year. Suddenly he's an expert. And a lot of folks don't find it "charming" when the cops pull you over because they don't recognize you; they find that creepy and paranoid -- which is how a lot of folks used to find Forks in the old days.
Emerson Storm here also seems to be unaware that Forks's sole reason for existing in the first place is cutting down all that natural enchantment he finds so enthralling. He should go back to Forks with a "Save the Spotted Owl" bumpersticker and see how he likes it (if he makes it out alive).
Emerson Storm here also seems to be unaware that Forks's sole reason for existing in the first place is cutting down all that natural enchantment he finds so enthralling. He should go back to Forks with a "Save the Spotted Owl" bumpersticker and see how he likes it (if he makes it out alive).
5
I think the first "marker that our society is choosing escapism" was all those pilgrims going to Jerusalem in the antiquity and middle ages. But for those who missed that whole thing the Twilight fad is also a clue.
6
Oh yes, I sure wish Deadwood/Silver City was still full of gun-slinging, lawless murders and prostitutes. God, those were the good days in "Dakota Territory." Now we have running water, state government and a shitton of tourists flushing money right into our pockets, but I do miss the murderers. Bummer.
7
I like Twilight about as much as I like the mormo that engineered it, but Dollywood is sacred. Back off.
8
Just build a Washington Movie theme park with TwinPeaksLand, NorthernExposureLand, TheRingLand and TwilightLand and be done with it...and the fury over Forks is stupid anyway since the majority of the movies are being filmed in B.C.
9
Dude, it's tourist dollars.
Who cares why they visit, just sell them overpriced t-shirts and coffee mugs, and support the local corset and lingerie industries in Seattle ... by buying them at Forks.
Who cares why they visit, just sell them overpriced t-shirts and coffee mugs, and support the local corset and lingerie industries in Seattle ... by buying them at Forks.
10
When did Ignatius J. Reilly get a newspaper column?
The Twilight books are worse than useless, but there's some really stupid and unexamined cultural snobbery going on here. After a point, good and bad books don't matter - there's just what people love.
Also: "the Slayer." Ahahahahaha.
The Twilight books are worse than useless, but there's some really stupid and unexamined cultural snobbery going on here. After a point, good and bad books don't matter - there's just what people love.
Also: "the Slayer." Ahahahahaha.
12
"Emerson Storm Fillman Richards is an undergraduate student of medieval studies, English literature and geography at the University of Florida."
Get a real name AND a real major, ya punk.
Get a real name AND a real major, ya punk.
13
@8 Don't forget the Sleepless in Seattle Tunnel of Love, the McQ shooting gallery and the 3D motion ride "Battle for Seattle" putting you right in the middle of the awwesome riot action!
14
This is the kind of moronic op-ed that might barely make the cut in a crappy college newspaper.
Why, exactly, was it published in the Seattle Times?
Why, exactly, was it published in the Seattle Times?
17
The punchline is in the bio:
"Emerson Storm Fillman Richards is an undergraduate student of medieval studies, English literature and geography at the University of Florida."
Somewhere between having four names (one of which is Storm) and listing three distinct majors, I got a good picture of the type of person to write such sniveling mopeshit.
"Emerson Storm Fillman Richards is an undergraduate student of medieval studies, English literature and geography at the University of Florida."
Somewhere between having four names (one of which is Storm) and listing three distinct majors, I got a good picture of the type of person to write such sniveling mopeshit.
19
let the virgins & sparkle vegan vamp fans have forks!! as long as they stay out of Bon Temps La ...
20
Forks really shouldn't be a vacation destination for anyone, regardless of how long they've lived anywhere.
23
also, if you're in forks, i recommend hitting up neah bay on the way back and picking up some whale tacos. so delish! nom nom nom.
24
I'm torn between suggesting that no one should visit Forks, ever, and suggesting that all of Twilight's biggest fans should just go ahead and move there and live together in virgin, crypto-Mormon misery forever.
26
I suggest asking the people of Forks (yes, people really do live there) how they feel about the whole Twilight phenomenon. Forks is chronically economically depressed, underemployed, with no real prospects for new jobs. The whole Twilight thing has been the biggest shot in the arm they've had since James Watt okayed clearcutting the world.
Sure, the tourons and Twihards are a pain in the ass. They're also money in the bank. Fuck this sentimental yo-yo, who doesn't even LIVE there. Forks isn't yours to dispose of, Emerson Storm Whosit Whateveritis.
Sure, the tourons and Twihards are a pain in the ass. They're also money in the bank. Fuck this sentimental yo-yo, who doesn't even LIVE there. Forks isn't yours to dispose of, Emerson Storm Whosit Whateveritis.
27
@7 I think Emerson Richards has never been to Dollywood and needed an easy target for his similarly ignorant audience.
29
I'm not a fan of people who just can't stand it when something they love goes from underground and obscure to popular. This is kind of like that.
And, by the way, I wish everyone would lay off with picking on Twilight. I'm betting a great majority of those who like the books are normal people who aren't looking for guidance on how to be a teenager (I'm one of them), and enjoy it. It shouldn't matter if it's good or not, or if they see it as bad-good or good-good.
So thank you Dan, for defending those that are excited to see a new place because it's featured in pop culture. Doesn't mean everyone has to go out and love Twilight.
And, by the way, I wish everyone would lay off with picking on Twilight. I'm betting a great majority of those who like the books are normal people who aren't looking for guidance on how to be a teenager (I'm one of them), and enjoy it. It shouldn't matter if it's good or not, or if they see it as bad-good or good-good.
So thank you Dan, for defending those that are excited to see a new place because it's featured in pop culture. Doesn't mean everyone has to go out and love Twilight.
30
I'm rather amused that so many commenters assume the editorial was written by a man. (Just scroll to the second image.)
31
Emerson sounds like a man's name to me, but then so does Madison, so what do I know? I apologize for not wasting even more of my time on this drivel to ascertain whether Whiny Emo Chick was a girl chick or a dude chick. My bad.
32
#3: "The guy first visited Forks in 2003, and his second visit was last year. Suddenly he's an expert."
The "guy" is actually a woman, and a very cute one at that. In the print version of the Times, her photo accompanied the guest editorial. I don't think what she wrote was worth the space but, on the other hand, as long as she's not murdering her roommate (or anyone else), I'm willing to cut a cute young woman a fair amount of slack.
The "guy" is actually a woman, and a very cute one at that. In the print version of the Times, her photo accompanied the guest editorial. I don't think what she wrote was worth the space but, on the other hand, as long as she's not murdering her roommate (or anyone else), I'm willing to cut a cute young woman a fair amount of slack.
33
Why did the online Seattle Times attach a photo of a plain girl with too much makeup? Who is she?
34
I take offense at towns named after silverware. Vampire novels were originally crafted so as to offer acceptable pornography. I say free the porn imprison the twilight. Popular formulaic novels written so as to be easily adaptable to the screen and make too much money should not be encouraged. I think the guy (or cute girl as the case may be: i did see the picture and it is a girl and not bad-looking either, but that is not the point) wrote a good article on popular literature's dumbing effect on a society but, however, I do agree with others who have said that the economic boom the book has brought to Forks could be helpful. There are, I think, other ways of booming an economy that don't re-identify a town with a popular book that is not well-liked now and will be a young girl's forgotten fad in the near future.
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