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Sunday, December 6, 2009

Strangercrombie Strangercrombie: The Fifth Day of Christmas Brings Your Five Golden (Cock) Rings and Most of the City Council

Posted by on Sun, Dec 6, 2009 at 11:21 AM

05-Golden-Rings.jpg
  • DAVID BELISLE
Hello, Christmastime holiday reader! It's time for gingersnaps and cock rings and exploiting politicians in the name of charity—like every year around this time—are you prepared?

No? Then grab your credit card.

Everyone on the city council (except Bruce Harrel, who we didn't ask) has a gift to offer you. All the money goes to Country Doctor, Senior Services, and the Urban Rest Stop. And they won't spend a penny of the money on cock rings.

Dina Martina with Tom Rasmussen! The gayest man on the Seattle City Council—okay, the only gay man—and his partner will take you and a guest out to the Dina Martina Christmas Show at Re-bar. It's only $100 right now—act fast.

Sail the High Seas Sally Bagshaw! City Council Member Elect Sally Bagshaw and her husband Brad have a freakishly wonderful boat. They will put you and three guests in their 39-foot sailboat, feed you food, and make you laugh till you puke. Currently bidding at a pittance—$122.

Richard Conlin! Tone your buns with City Council President Richard Conlin on a bicycle ride along the shores of Lake Washington. Then he'll buy you an organic, free-trade, free-range, shade-grown, sweatshop-free, biodiesel-powered cup of coffee. Current bidding is only $44.

Jean Godden Kicks Your Ass at Scrabble! Did you know that City Council Member Jean Godden has a swiveling Scrabble board in the middle of her council offices? And that she has a Scrabble dictionary embossed with her name in gold right next to it? She is going to slam your fanny at Scrabble, mister. But she insists she's not a formidable player—her former PI colleague Joel Connnelly says this is untrue—but Godden will also feed you a burger at Seattle's favorite reporter haunt, the Two Bells, to drown your sorrows. Bidding is only at $51.

There is SO MUCH MORE. Licata Nick Licata's wife is such a great sport that she agreed to let him ride the SLUT to get a beer at Hooters with the winner of this, ahem, package. Hooters! Get Dick's with Tim Burgess and ride in a cop car. Gossip with Sally Clark about City Hall at a speakeasy! Mike O'Brien has never smoked pot; but he'll get a drink with you instead. And cock rings all around!

Strangercrombie: Once a year we talk about cock rings.

 

Comments (8) RSS

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gloomy gus 1
Is there a name for the hairstyle they gave that fella in the picture?
Posted by gloomy gus on December 6, 2009 at 12:32 PM
Zebes 2
That dude sort of looks like Vince "Shamwow" Offer.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on December 6, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Urgutha Forka 3
The chick in that picture is pretty damn hot!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 6, 2009 at 3:50 PM
Grist 4
Uh, I'm pretty sure you guys talk about cock rings more than once a year.
Posted by Grist on December 6, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Baconcat 5
Sorry, Jean... I'm better at Scrabble than you and I don't need to fork out cash to know this fact.
Posted by Baconcat on December 6, 2009 at 4:31 PM
6
1 and is there any chance he'll wash his hair before the auction?
3 totally.
Posted by hoehoehoe on December 6, 2009 at 4:56 PM
rob! 7
@1, hedgeclipper hat hair, seen on rockrats 'round the world.

I'd still hit that.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on December 6, 2009 at 5:35 PM
gloomy gus 8
"Hedgeclipper hat hair" I usually like, but with so much wispiness, plus the clearcut sideburns...poor fella.
Posted by gloomy gus on December 6, 2009 at 6:46 PM

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