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News & ArtsThursday, December 3, 2009
Chow / ??!! / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz This Is War... Cookie War
Posted by Megan Seling on Thu, Dec 3, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Ok, so here it goes. I am making a four year commitment here. Well, more like 3.5, but we'll say 4 for the sake of sounding even. This is my very first cookie baked as part of my Martha Stewart 4 Year Cookie Experience, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Martha Stewart (get it? bad joke). Anyways, diligently I will plow through her cookbook, trying not to repeat any recipes, until I have made all 150 cookies and treats. Hopefully I will complete this by the time I finish college, which, if I make 1 recipe a week and my calculations are correct, should take me about 3 years total. Better get cookin'...
"Ready for the subsequent epic journey?" this young woman, Lizzie, asks.
Well yes. Yes I am. And by "am" I mean "was," because I already fucking did it.
No, I didn’t bake 175 different Martha Stewart cookies, I baked 86. But I didn’t take years to do it, I took two months—60 fucking days. And I didn't make a blog about it and embed a clip from Julie & Julia and bemoan "Every day it's becoming more and more apparent that my life is this." I did it because... well, I did it just to see if I could, because my friends bet me $10 that I couldn't, and because I was a little crazy.
But whatever. Good luck and Godspeed, Lizzie. (But you're wrong about the pistachio lemon drops, that shit was delicious.)
5
Four years for 150 cookies? One about every ten days isn't exactly "plowing through it." You already destroyed this one Megan.
She'll probably be bored of this in five months and regret posting about it.
She'll probably be bored of this in five months and regret posting about it.
7
What kind of gastronomical boob doesn't make a cookie until their sophomore year in college? A subsequent, epic journey takes place in Mordor, not Blogspot.com.
8
Lame.
And what's that disgusting barf of a picture on her blog? Looks like a turd floating in half-melted butter, dripping off the edge of the table. Not a cookie I'd like to try.
And what's that disgusting barf of a picture on her blog? Looks like a turd floating in half-melted butter, dripping off the edge of the table. Not a cookie I'd like to try.
9
This girl sounds like a self-involved whiner. 1 recipe per week? Come on, you're not making thirty-step entrees, you're grabbing a cookie sheet and dicing some nuts and chocolate. Seems like a lot of grandstanding for a very simple project.
Plus, I hope she has roommates or dormmates, because girl is either gonna waste a hell of a lot of food, or get really fat really fast.
Plus, I hope she has roommates or dormmates, because girl is either gonna waste a hell of a lot of food, or get really fat really fast.
10
Oh, and she she thinks evaporated milk is a "relatively inaccessible ingredient"? Where does she usually shop, 7-11? You've been able to get evaporated milk in every supermarket in America for over 100 years.
11
"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."
That's from Ratatouille. You know, with the rat that cooks.
Megan here is the exception. She baked cookies. The rest of you are just being worthless.
That's from Ratatouille. You know, with the rat that cooks.
Megan here is the exception. She baked cookies. The rest of you are just being worthless.
15
@9- On batch of cookies a week will not make you fat if you have an otherwise good diet.
@Megan- Scratch her eyes out.
@Megan- Scratch her eyes out.
17
As "year in the life of" blogs go (okay, so this is 3 or 4 years, but same deal), I think y'all are right. One cookie recipe a week isn't exactly a "life experience" kind of pace. But, you know, maybe she's just doing it for fun, and not blog fame or whatever. I'm not into the food blog thing, but there are tons of baking blogs and a big community surrounding it.
Maybe, just maybe, she's not looking for a Julie & Julia style book deal/etc., but she's just using this as a way to make sure she follows through on her intentions. I do this sort of thing all the time -- tell people your goal and you're more likely to do it. For what it's worth....
Maybe, just maybe, she's not looking for a Julie & Julia style book deal/etc., but she's just using this as a way to make sure she follows through on her intentions. I do this sort of thing all the time -- tell people your goal and you're more likely to do it. For what it's worth....
19
I just read that entire article and I won't lie...shit got me choked up. I'm glad you're still with us Megan.
20
4 years is too long. I've made 4 batches of Martha Stewart cookies in one day. The trick to getting rid of them is to feed them to desperate slobs who don't know how to bake.
Note: I'm watching the news right now, Allen Iverson is crying. I muted it.
Note: I'm watching the news right now, Allen Iverson is crying. I muted it.
22
o hay gurl. thanks for the publicity. but dont you know? i have such a fragile ego--i deleted your link, hope you don't mind. and i fully anticipate your retorts and rantings about how weak and whiney i am for doing so, and honestly, you're probably right. but here's the beauty: it's my blog, and i can be as pathetic as i want to be. anyway, again, thanks for the added PR...cheers!
23
my wife and i still occasionally read your cookie baking article, it means a lot to us, and thank you <3
24
I just got this great book about the world's greatest buildings, and stick with me, I plan to build each of them at a 1:1 scale over the next year in Eastern Washington.
Or maybe Las Vegas.
Maybe...I already did it.
Or maybe Las Vegas.
Maybe...I already did it.
25
Boy, she must have been REALLY impressed by the movie 'Julie & Julia'. Why bother with an original idea.
But Martha Stewart? Come on! At least Julia Childs was an accomplished cook in her own right. I'll bet Martha hasn't baked half the stuff in her own book. And 4 years for 150 cookie recipes? Lazy!
But Martha Stewart? Come on! At least Julia Childs was an accomplished cook in her own right. I'll bet Martha hasn't baked half the stuff in her own book. And 4 years for 150 cookie recipes? Lazy!
26
Upstart food bloggers are so played out, incredibly lame and unoriginal. There's about 10,000,000,000 of them and about 3 are interesting.
Megan's cookie article, on the other hand, was terrific.
Megan's cookie article, on the other hand, was terrific.
30
I imagine the author sitting at her dining room table slowly chewing away at a cookie, crying, contemplating how to turn these tears into something productive.
"Here I am, single, unloved, living off batches of cookies I've baked for nobody in particular -- and that nobody is ME."
"Here I am, single, unloved, living off batches of cookies I've baked for nobody in particular -- and that nobody is ME."
31
I always loved your story. I have a picture of you in your Dance Hall Crashers t-shirt all sad and then suddenly driven. It's a good story and picks me up and makes me hungry for sweets.
The rolling pin has been thrown down! Start up the ovens!
The rolling pin has been thrown down! Start up the ovens!
32
I should say - I have a picture of you IN MY HEAD, not an actual picture of you. That would be weird, right now it's just kinda weird.
34
One more thing: How is cookie girl going to find the time in college to bake a batch of cookies every week? She must be A. Not a partier B. Lonely C. a Communications major (I was one, so the yolks on me). Get it? I'm clever like cookie girl's Stanley Kubrick reference (that's so college).
35
Maybe the 3.5 year timeline has more to do with budgeting for the expense. Martha's ingredients are really fucking expensive.
36
I wonder if the fact that she is publishing the recipes for each cookie constitutes a copyright violation. These are recipies in a book, published by a business-savvy woman. I'm amazed that Martha Stewart's lawyers haven't shut her down already.
Oh, and Megan - totally loved your story. There was so much there I could relate to, and it was so well written.
Oh, and Megan - totally loved your story. There was so much there I could relate to, and it was so well written.
38
Oh man I remember reading that piece in the paper paper. It was wonderful then and I can't wait to re-read it. Thanks for reminding me of it (and of course for writing it in the first place)!
39
Megan, I just wanted to say that I loved your article too and I think of it often. I'm glad to hear that other people feel the same!
And, I'm sorry, but this girl's pursuit is just a little bit lame. She should do her soul searching with some more creativity - she's an art major after all.
And, I'm sorry, but this girl's pursuit is just a little bit lame. She should do her soul searching with some more creativity - she's an art major after all.
40
Two words: CAGE. MATCH.
You throw that fucking gauntlet down, Megan. Give her a point if she can get her Coconut Bars to set, but otherwise, kick her fucking ass.
You throw that fucking gauntlet down, Megan. Give her a point if she can get her Coconut Bars to set, but otherwise, kick her fucking ass.
41
Whoa...whats wrong with you? Why does it matter so much? Its just a blog by a girl who's doing it for fun. Thats it. For fun. And all these people commenting are obviously very sensitive too. Their comments make me laugh, you dont even know this person!
42
I'm so pleased to have a recipe for the pistachio lemon drops. NOM NOM NOM, thanks Ms. Megan! They will join my chocolate chip pretzel & butterscotch chocolate blondies as holiday treats.
43
Why make it so personal? She obviously had no intention of "stealing" your idea. She's doing something for herself. Worst yet, is that you have now got your fans, that seem to blindly follow everything you say regardless of how inaccurate/snide/foolish it may be, hating something that they don't know much about. Way to inspire uninformed opinions and belittlement. Give yourself a little pat on the back why don't ya?
44
Wow! Whatever happened to the golden rule. You all might be familiar with it, you know.."if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all". Maybe everyone should relax. We're talking about cookies after all. Doesn't everyone like cookies? What's with all the drama? There are no rules about cooking and baking food in your own kitchen.
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