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News & ArtsMonday, November 23, 2009
Sex Is Your Teen Out of Control... And Smoking Hot?
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 2:36 PM
I've walked by this brightly lit sign at Sea-Tac about a hundred thousand times and I never really noticed...
...the photo on the right. You know, the troubled teenage girl with her knees pulled up to her chest, glowering at the parents who won't let her leave the house in that skirt. Because it's just too revealing. I mean, that skirt is so revealing it's practically NSFW. Let's take a closer look, the kind of look a passing straight guy might give the sign...
Um... is this really how programs for troubled teens are sold to anxious parents? By flashing—or nearly flashing—teen twat at concerned dads rushing through airports? What is a father with a sexually active teenage daughter—"out of control" means "sexually active" when we're talking about teenage girls—supposed to feel when a highly sexualized image of teenage girl catches his the eye in an airport? Concerned? Manipulated? Complicit? I mean, a dad rushing through the airport is supposed to see the girl on that sign as a symbolic stand-in for his own troubled daughter, right? So dad's eye is drawn to the ad by his own daughter's crotch (symbolically speaking). How quickly can a straight dad pivot from horny dude whose eye was caught by a flash of teenage thigh to good dad who's only eyeing the sign because he's concerned about his troubled daughter back at home? Is it instantaneous? Or does it require a conscious thought and an act of will? Or is it an entirely subconscious process?
2
I don't know, Dan. If my girl ever spins out of control (at age 5, that's a few years down the road) and I see this ad, I'll email you and let you know how I felt about it.
3
Charles, quit using Dan's handle. Analyzing photographs of female body parts, wholly unwarrented and speculative generalizations about others' psycology, vague philosophical allusions, more sentences ending in question marks than periods. We know it's really you.
4
I second #3. I had to check twice that this post was by Dan, not Charles. What the hell are you trying to say, Dan?
6
I will third the third post. Sounded like Charles is ghost writing for Dan. I got a few sentences in and went back because I was convinced I was not reading the name right.
8
This soo creepy, even for Slog. Any mind who sees that ad and focuses on that kid's skirt and legs, needs to check themselves inwardly and seek help fast! before they go the Polanski route.
9
LC i can't even believe i'm replying to your sorry ass but come on. If you're a raper of children, you're a raper of children. pedophiles are not made by analyzing a billboard.
11
I think Dan must just be getting off at the thought of a straight guy being turned on. Or something. This post was weird.
13
LOL ok but this trend is for real. Here in AZ, they have ads for kids asking "what would you do?" The best, a teen girl is approaching a boy to invite him to her party as he strectches before practice, and the voice over informs us he's into prescription drugs. This is as the what-I-hope-is-of-age Adonis in a sweaty tank top turns around while stretching his very hot legs. What would you do? I'm pretty sure every girl's (and gay's) answer is: Up my prescription for oxycotin and give everyone else invited maps to the wrong place.
14
as a straight guy who saw that sign saturday, i didn't look at the THRITEEN YEAR OLD'S CROTCH. she's a LITTLE KID, savage. adult straight men are not all attracted to 13-year olds - some of us are not child molesters.
and that's the way many adolescent jr. high girls dress - they simply don't know that PERVS are leering at them - they're INNOCENTS.
fuck a duck you don't understand hetero males.
and that's the way many adolescent jr. high girls dress - they simply don't know that PERVS are leering at them - they're INNOCENTS.
fuck a duck you don't understand hetero males.
16
What I mean to say is--oh hell, #14 nailed it.
Those are shorts, for one, and she's not even wearing makeup.
#8 is onto something.
Those are shorts, for one, and she's not even wearing makeup.
#8 is onto something.
17
I'm far more worried by the Stranger giving out sex manuals for kids in their back to school issues every year ... available on streetcorners for free ...
Not to mention the cigarette and alcohol ads.
Not to mention the cigarette and alcohol ads.
20
@16- If she was wearing makeup, she'd have been asking for it?
It's a model, a very airbushed model who's real age we can not guess. She's supposed to represent a troubled teen, though to me she looks like a very privileged and lucky teen (thin, nice skin, nice hair...model good looks). The way she is posed makes it look at first glance like she might not have any clothes at all. Meanwhile the boy is fully dressed, though he also has perfect skin, decent hair, and model good looks. It's a pretty typical bit of advertising double standard, display the female body, make everyone look rich, and make everyone who looks normal feel ugly.
And then send your kids to prison because they're getting bad grades and/or sleeping around.
It's a model, a very airbushed model who's real age we can not guess. She's supposed to represent a troubled teen, though to me she looks like a very privileged and lucky teen (thin, nice skin, nice hair...model good looks). The way she is posed makes it look at first glance like she might not have any clothes at all. Meanwhile the boy is fully dressed, though he also has perfect skin, decent hair, and model good looks. It's a pretty typical bit of advertising double standard, display the female body, make everyone look rich, and make everyone who looks normal feel ugly.
And then send your kids to prison because they're getting bad grades and/or sleeping around.
21
I don't know, that light bruise or whatever it is on her knee is totally crushing my pervy vibe. I can't even get it up for that kind of gross physical imperfection.
22
Oh, Dan, didn't you know.
ITS MANDATORY THAT FEMALES NEVER WEAR MORE CLOTHING THAN THERI MALE COUNTERPARTS.
So even if it's supposed to be a legit hotline for out of control kids, she still must be 3/4 naked.
It's like, science.
ITS MANDATORY THAT FEMALES NEVER WEAR MORE CLOTHING THAN THERI MALE COUNTERPARTS.
So even if it's supposed to be a legit hotline for out of control kids, she still must be 3/4 naked.
It's like, science.
23
I think @18 has it, Dan is overcompensating by babbling incoherently about the girl because he gets a boner for the 12 yr old boy on the left every time he passes the sign...
25
"If she was wearing makeup, she'd have been asking for it?"
Not at all. If she were wearing makeup, Dan would come close to having a point.
Not at all. If she were wearing makeup, Dan would come close to having a point.
26
I am a dad of a daughter (toddler currently, but still...), and I am also not a perv and very much not attracted to youngsters, but I do have to say Dan has (kind of) a point. It's not that' they're shorts or a skirt or whatever. It's that, with her knees pulled up to her chin, and her feet moved to the side, she's kind of flashing ass. And whether or not you mean to, your eye is drawn to it. Even if she were wearing jeans, she'd kind of still be flashing a butt cheek. I don't think the question is about what hetero men think about this, but, rather what teenage girls do. And I think an ad that is obviously trying to do something productive should have covered up their teen model a little more, whether or not it's "what girls these days are wearing.
27
I think this image is effective, but not because it appeals to pervs. It's aimed at parents, particularly dads, that are afraid of their daughters becoming sexually active on top of whatever other issues there are. @20--of course this is a privileged teen. These "troubled teen" institutions are crazy expensive--they are not interested in people unless they are rich or have very good insurance.
28
"teen twat" - oh Dan, that is very sexual for a queer.
All the who is getting tuned on is apparent in the stupid article.
YOU. And I think it might just be for both, in the same bed drunk and stoned with YOU.
Wow, too gross, And very perv.
Dads by the way, when it comes to their daughters, no matter what a gay man thinks, do not load erotic stuff into the relationship. The exceptions are called child molesters - and not treated kindly anywhere in society.
By the way, if he is just a reg. red bloodied boy, you son will be far more expert on "teen twat" than you ever were.... at those ages. Tip off will be when he does not want to wash his fingers for a few days. Hint, hint.
All the who is getting tuned on is apparent in the stupid article.
YOU. And I think it might just be for both, in the same bed drunk and stoned with YOU.
Wow, too gross, And very perv.
Dads by the way, when it comes to their daughters, no matter what a gay man thinks, do not load erotic stuff into the relationship. The exceptions are called child molesters - and not treated kindly anywhere in society.
By the way, if he is just a reg. red bloodied boy, you son will be far more expert on "teen twat" than you ever were.... at those ages. Tip off will be when he does not want to wash his fingers for a few days. Hint, hint.
29
Whats sad is the teens in Seatac who need this have parents who are too poor to send them there.
Oh, thats right, only rich kids count, my bad!
Honestly, she looks more bratty than troubled.
Oh, thats right, only rich kids count, my bad!
Honestly, she looks more bratty than troubled.
30
So, silly stock photos aside, once upon a time I was put in a behavior modification program in Montana. It's a scam. They aren't doing too well right now since parents don't have the spare $3000+ a month to get rid of their pot-smoking, sex-having teenagers. More info on Turning Winds here: http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=…
35
This has info about the program while it was still in Idaho/before the molestation suit
http://www.heal-online.org/turnwinds.htm
http://www.heal-online.org/turnwinds.htm
36
If this is in the Seatac airport, than it's kind of a low blow to the frequently flying dad...you're not home to raise your daughter right and now look at what you've done! ...and you need to buy an automatic cat feeding backscratcher that plays motivational speeches from Skymall.
38
I think the dichotomy between [ hot teen / your daughter ] is exactly what makes parents so upset about their "troubled" teen daughters, and so the ad actually strikes right to the heart of the matter. I'd say it's appropriate.
The real issue is that the son hardly looks troubled. Let's see some smelly dreadlocks :)
The real issue is that the son hardly looks troubled. Let's see some smelly dreadlocks :)
39
Basically this is all women in all advertising all the time, as @22 mentioned. My guess it is barely even registers for straight men anymore.
40
@35, nice try. I don't know the first thing about this place or their methods, but I do know that the lawsuit against them had nothing to do with "molestation" as you claim in your libelous statement above. They were "accused of child endangerment for allegedly beating a 17-year-old student who busted through a fence and fled the school in March 2005." They claimed in their defense that when they tried to pick up the boy he fought with them. The charges were dropped.
"Molestation" is a serious charge. I don't much like the sound of this boarding school/reeducation camp, but I REALLY don't like the sound of your kook whine.
"Molestation" is a serious charge. I don't much like the sound of this boarding school/reeducation camp, but I REALLY don't like the sound of your kook whine.
41
I see so many explicitly sexy images every day (not to mention real women) that this one wouldn't even have caught my eye.
Besides, as I get older, it's getting harder for me to sexualize teens, or even girls in their early twenties. Yes, they are hot, but the idea of actually having sex with someone so immature just seems silly, and that kind of ruins any fantasy potential. Give me a cougar instead.
Besides, as I get older, it's getting harder for me to sexualize teens, or even girls in their early twenties. Yes, they are hot, but the idea of actually having sex with someone so immature just seems silly, and that kind of ruins any fantasy potential. Give me a cougar instead.
46
As a male chauvinist pig, I can confidently say that the girl's body language and affect do not result in a sexual message.
Perhaps the presence of shorts is the culprit. After all, since the sun never shines in the Puget Sound, the girl must appear indecent.
Perhaps the presence of shorts is the culprit. After all, since the sun never shines in the Puget Sound, the girl must appear indecent.
47
Dan, you're surprisingly clueless here. Would you sexualize a poster of a boy your son's age? Doubtful. The parenting genes against incest are too strongly ingrained in normal people.
A dad of a teen girl this age would only see an ad for a high-priced Outward Bound camp. (Dating myself here: does OB exist anymore?)
Unless this IS Charles, in which case, meh.
A dad of a teen girl this age would only see an ad for a high-priced Outward Bound camp. (Dating myself here: does OB exist anymore?)
Unless this IS Charles, in which case, meh.
48
@47 - DAN didn't "sexualize" the poster. That much skin is unnecessary in a poster advertising services for teens in crisis. the poster is in itself sexualized. And it's very likely that that was intentional. All Dan did was point that out and ask how such a thing is interpreted.
49
It would of been more effective if they just had a photo of a real parent and child screaming at each other. The raw emotion would be way more effective than this polished - somewhat sexual ad. Anyway I can't comment on Dan's post because I'm not a Dad or straight.
50
Following this line of thought, the dad is caught somewhere between protective parent and "horny dude". He has no idea what to do with the conflict so remains paralyzed. So, perhaps without being aware of it, pushes it off to the other parent to deal with. She or he, on the other hand, is tired of the daughter and wishes she would wake up, stop making poor choices and get her shit together. The teen remains troubled out of benign and probably active neglect.
51
Loveschild Logic: Dan looks at a poster, and notices the inappropriate photos for the message. He omments on it, that makes him a pedophile?
What does that make you Loveschild? You constantly obsess about sexuality, and children. I think we now know why you have defended Carrie PreJean so much.
What does that make you Loveschild? You constantly obsess about sexuality, and children. I think we now know why you have defended Carrie PreJean so much.
52
Dan,
You've been hanging out with Charles too much.
@14,
Yes, they know the pervs are looking. They don't dress like that for nothing. They're trying to get attention. (please note this is not a suggestion of rape because "she was asking for it because of how she was dressed" just that they're craving attention)
You've been hanging out with Charles too much.
@14,
Yes, they know the pervs are looking. They don't dress like that for nothing. They're trying to get attention. (please note this is not a suggestion of rape because "she was asking for it because of how she was dressed" just that they're craving attention)
53
BTW, thanks for the pick me up early in the morning Dan. A little hot upper thigh is a good way to start the day.
54
Why can't she just wear long pants? Anyone? Me? I don't see that much of a difference between short-shorts and a skirt, when it comes to the bizarre double standard of dressing female and male models in ads.
I remember a local sports network, new on the scene, got its first female sports anchor. A while later, in a studio renovation, they decided to nudge ratings by giving her a table with a glass top -- so it showed off her legs. She responded by switching exclusively to pants.
And yeah, re: how grown hetero men act around teenaged girls, have you been a teenaged girl, ever? Because it's very creepy, even if you were a nerd who consistently dressed with a high neckline.
I think Dan's being a *wee* over-the-top with his conclusions, but he's got a point.
I remember a local sports network, new on the scene, got its first female sports anchor. A while later, in a studio renovation, they decided to nudge ratings by giving her a table with a glass top -- so it showed off her legs. She responded by switching exclusively to pants.
And yeah, re: how grown hetero men act around teenaged girls, have you been a teenaged girl, ever? Because it's very creepy, even if you were a nerd who consistently dressed with a high neckline.
I think Dan's being a *wee* over-the-top with his conclusions, but he's got a point.
56
Dan's got a point. In the educational publishing business reactions like Dan's drive a lot of decision making. In many books for the K-8 market, you won't see any kid in a bathing suit. The slight chance that someone like Dan might be a teacher on an adoption committee for a school is enough to keep publishers from carefully avoiding any photos that might remotely be accused of being a sexualized depiction of a child. That's why, by the way, elementary science books avoid teaching evolution unless that absolutely have to, never say that humans are animals, and so on. These sorts of reactions cause a lot of harm as well as some good. The design firm that created the banner was unaware of the ramifications of using such a photo for a school, and the decision-makers at the school made a poor decision when they approved it.
57
somehow the troubled teens of the 18 & 19 year old variety all packed into a boarding school with an overheating boiler, too few beds, a stern headmaster and bwow-chika-wow-wahh music mysteriously piped in seem fake now as well, damn you misleading advertisers!!
58
I'm old enough to remember the fundraising material for Covenant House, the priest-run home for runaways and troubled youth in NYC back in the 70s/80s. They used the same kind of provocative images (and worse), but coupled it with the direst of purple prose to freak out/turn on prospective donors.
And a quick online search will tell you what you need to know about Covenant House.
Just saying.
And a quick online search will tell you what you need to know about Covenant House.
Just saying.
60
Add me to the "had to scroll back up to see if it was Mudede" camp. Staring at the symbolic crotch of one's own daughter? What's next, the depravity of having a wank when thinking about someone whose name is an anagram of a parent's name? The synergistic hyperbole of a sexual encounter with the abstract non-meaning that only someone dichotomically torn could ever grasp?
Truly, you should watch what Charles is putting in your coffee, Dan. Your down-to-earthness is your greatest asset. Don't go all nonsensical on us, ok?
Truly, you should watch what Charles is putting in your coffee, Dan. Your down-to-earthness is your greatest asset. Don't go all nonsensical on us, ok?
61
Makeup is used to give the appearance of three things : 1) age balancing (looking older if you're young, looking younger if you're older; 2) the illusion of health/perfection (pock-marked, acne-ridden, or wrinkly skin = yucky; 3) the illusion of sexual excitement. So yes, makeup is a manipulative scheme designed to fool men into taking care of us womenfolk. Contacts, breast implants, hair extensions, and girdles all do similar functions, but most women put on makeup without knowing why, other than to look "complete". Eyes looking bigger through use of eyeliner and mascara, blush on the cheeks and lipstick are all mocking the indicators of sexual arousal. This is why I would never, ever let any child of mine into anything remotely resembling a "beauty" pageant. Funny how this ad is at an airport - reaching out to parents who are physically absent from their teens lives - just to remind them of what failures they are when they can't stick around to watch what's going on in their lives. (My dad was Navy, and was gone a lot, so I don't hold this view personally.) If these teens were out of control, wouldn't they be holding report cards with poor grades, while drinking some Jagermeister??
62
@37- You're being silly. How is making her look nakeder than she actually is not sexualizing?
You do fuck chicks without makeup on, don't you? You're not one of those weird southerners who think women without make up are all ugly?
You do fuck chicks without makeup on, don't you? You're not one of those weird southerners who think women without make up are all ugly?
63
As a straight dad (though only of boys) who has had quasi-paternal relationships with girls, I think the point is to squick you out. You see the billboard and your first flash is: "Hey, naked legs!" Instantly followed by "Ahhh! Kid naked legs! Yikes!" Instantly followed by "Ahhh! My daughter's that age! Yikes! Must get home and prevent naked legs of daughter!"
64
Define "Out of Control Teen".
If the girl in the poster's biggest outrage is pouting because she's been told to change before she goes out the door, then she can do a lot worse.
Honest dialog with teens about sexuality, how it happens, how it feels, how it makes people feel plus a solid foundation in allowing their self-esteem to flourish are the only things that will ensure as happy a possible outcome. This dialog doesn't start @ age 10 either. It starts from day 1.
further to # 50's thread..and answering Dan's question; the rushing-through-airport-ala-OJ-dad? He can flip the switch because its someone else's daughter. (sorry, half-joking)
Assuming men are visually drawn to check out anything remotely alluring (I think Dan has addressed the reptilian brain more than once), human nature dictates this poster will get checked out for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is this girl is attractive.
And just like the oft-repeated comments in Dan's column, monogamy works because people make a hard effort to make it work. We can't be going to hell for what we think. Our actions will however, point us in that direction...if one believed in hell.
If the girl in the poster's biggest outrage is pouting because she's been told to change before she goes out the door, then she can do a lot worse.
Honest dialog with teens about sexuality, how it happens, how it feels, how it makes people feel plus a solid foundation in allowing their self-esteem to flourish are the only things that will ensure as happy a possible outcome. This dialog doesn't start @ age 10 either. It starts from day 1.
further to # 50's thread..and answering Dan's question; the rushing-through-airport-ala-OJ-dad? He can flip the switch because its someone else's daughter. (sorry, half-joking)
Assuming men are visually drawn to check out anything remotely alluring (I think Dan has addressed the reptilian brain more than once), human nature dictates this poster will get checked out for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is this girl is attractive.
And just like the oft-repeated comments in Dan's column, monogamy works because people make a hard effort to make it work. We can't be going to hell for what we think. Our actions will however, point us in that direction...if one believed in hell.
65
@64 and what to do with it (sexuality). For me, it's the kid without the honest dialogue or room to do some flourishing that winds up with the turn on, doesn't know what to do with it, makes a poor choice and may be looking at an uwanted pregnancy, STD or worse.
66
I went to this website, just to see what it was like. Went to the "Calculate your Teen's Needs" thing, and well...
It's sh!t.
I plead all parents, do not go to this site. Frankly, the behavior on this list is pretty typical. Correction, EXTREMELY typical, and definitely not enough to send your kid away for. That and the fact that they keep on saying "your troubled youth" and "your troubled teen" and so on, when it's trying to see IF your kid is "troubled.
"Does your teen frequently tell lies?"
"Does your troubled youth become easily agitated with others?"
"Does your troubled teen often argue about inconsequential events?"
"Does your teen disregard important house rules?"
"Does your troubled teen avoid participating in family activities and social events?"
"Is your troubled teen unable to accept others points of view?"
"Does your troubled teen exhibit hyperactivity at inappropriate times (a symptom of ADHD)?"
"Does your troubled teen have difficulty focusing/concentrating during tasks (a symptom of ADD/ADHD)?"
"Has your teen undergone therapy/counseling with little or no results?"
"Is your troubled teen defiant towards you and/or teachers?"
"Is it difficult for your teen to open up to and confide in others?"
"Does your troubled teen use profanity?"
I'm sorry, but what the f*cking hell. Were you the one kid who's parents were the overprotective-plastic-bubble-installing-disinfectant-obsessed-stereotype we all fear?
Newsflash, TEENS SWEAR. TEENS ARE WEIRD. WE. ARE. INSANE.
Comes with the package. Our energy or lack of it is unexplained, we do not like to talk to you (if you are parent who visits this site) because you are condescending as sh!t. Also, the swearing might be because 1) 21st century. 2)You are sending us, to a BOARDING school. 3) You are the type of parent, who is apparently, as said is FREAKY. And the not wanting to talk to family?
Maybe it's because you don't like your family. It happens.
Funny/freaky as you will ever see.
More...
It's sh!t.
I plead all parents, do not go to this site. Frankly, the behavior on this list is pretty typical. Correction, EXTREMELY typical, and definitely not enough to send your kid away for. That and the fact that they keep on saying "your troubled youth" and "your troubled teen" and so on, when it's trying to see IF your kid is "troubled.
"Does your teen frequently tell lies?"
"Does your troubled youth become easily agitated with others?"
"Does your troubled teen often argue about inconsequential events?"
"Does your teen disregard important house rules?"
"Does your troubled teen avoid participating in family activities and social events?"
"Is your troubled teen unable to accept others points of view?"
"Does your troubled teen exhibit hyperactivity at inappropriate times (a symptom of ADHD)?"
"Does your troubled teen have difficulty focusing/concentrating during tasks (a symptom of ADD/ADHD)?"
"Has your teen undergone therapy/counseling with little or no results?"
"Is your troubled teen defiant towards you and/or teachers?"
"Is it difficult for your teen to open up to and confide in others?"
"Does your troubled teen use profanity?"
I'm sorry, but what the f*cking hell. Were you the one kid who's parents were the overprotective-plastic-bubble-installing-disinfectant-obsessed-stereotype we all fear?
Newsflash, TEENS SWEAR. TEENS ARE WEIRD. WE. ARE. INSANE.
Comes with the package. Our energy or lack of it is unexplained, we do not like to talk to you (if you are parent who visits this site) because you are condescending as sh!t. Also, the swearing might be because 1) 21st century. 2)You are sending us, to a BOARDING school. 3) You are the type of parent, who is apparently, as said is FREAKY. And the not wanting to talk to family?
Maybe it's because you don't like your family. It happens.
Funny/freaky as you will ever see.
67
There may be various stressing issues and causes that make teenagers out of control. Behavioral, emotional and psychological disorders also cause depression and stress that gives rise various problems in life. Many teenagers are involved in smoking and drug alcohol abuse that causes aggressive and disobedience. Parents must find out the issues behind the aggressive nature of children. There are many treatment centers, therapeutic schools and counseling centers that deal with out of control teenagers by recommending counseling and parenting tips. Parenting programs are effective in diminishing poor choices and habits of adolescents.
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