Sixty: Senate Democrats put together enough votes to open debate on health care reform. That doesn't guarantee whatever bill the Senate comes up with will pass though.
Jesus Is Mean: An orthodox Catholic bishop has banned U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy from receiving communion—which is important to those guys—in Rhode Island. Because Kennedy's pro-choice. And the bishop's kind of a dick.
The Crazy Murder Trial is Back: Prosecutors in Italy are seeking a life sentence for Amanda Knox. They even backed up their case with some kind of crazy cartoon reenactment!
Mine Explosion in China: 92 people now dead, and 16 missing inside.
MLS Cup: They've sold 40,000 tickets so far for today's championship game between the L.A. Galaxy and ridiculously named Real Salt Lake.
Smoking: Here's who the CDC says is doing it. A lot of them seem to come from West Virginia.
Anyone Else Noticed This? The city's been installing brown street signs. Here's what it all means.
Iran: They want fuel for their nuclear facilities, and say any attack on them "will be crushed."
Raising Awareness About Pedestrian Safety: Via a crowd of people prancing around downtown. It's how SDOT is getting the word out about car-pedestrian collisions.
Oops: Washington State collects $21,000 in child support from a man who didn't owe it. And offered him a $1.24 refund.
In case you need some dumbing down this morning:
And if that wasn't enough glorious stupidity, part 2 is here.