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Friday, November 20, 2009

Do Your Balls Hang Low?

Posted by on Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 12:40 PM

Sure they do. But why do they hang low? And why don't they hang lower? Why isn't your scrotum bright red? Why doesn't your scrotum have feathers? Science has the answer.

 

Comments (20) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Wait...wait a minute. You mean everyone's scrotum doesn't have feathers? You're just fucking with me right?

right?
Posted by Senor Guy on November 20, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Fnarf 2
Hence the popular, and moderately effective, birth control method of some tribal people around the world: dangle them in a bucket of hot water for half an hour before sex.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 20, 2009 at 12:57 PM
Vince 3
As soon as they said the penis wasn't attractive I turned the page.
Posted by Vince on November 20, 2009 at 1:05 PM
4
More importantly, what the fuck can we do about it?

Are there 'sacklifts'? Like facelifts, yanno.
Posted by Sili on November 20, 2009 at 1:10 PM
Confluence 5
@3

Me too! WTF? Is that guy blind??
Posted by Confluence on November 20, 2009 at 1:20 PM
6
@3, @5, the guy was probably either straight, and therefore really doesn't see the penis as attractive, or is worried what others will think if he admits he thinks it is attractive.
Posted by diane b on November 20, 2009 at 1:28 PM
JunieGirl 7
@1, no, they don't have feathers, they just look like a plucked bird skin.
Posted by JunieGirl on November 20, 2009 at 1:51 PM
kim in portland 8
Sad to hear that some lack appreciation for the pensis and it's beauty.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on November 20, 2009 at 1:57 PM
9
Actually, what he said was "this new hypothesis sets out to explain the natural origins of the only human body part arguably less attractive than the penis -- the testicles…"

Which is all scientifically proven fact.
Posted by the fact is on November 20, 2009 at 2:11 PM
crazycatguy 10
@6
Click on the link in the SA article regarding his earlier column on the shape of the penis, you'll find there that he informs us he's gay.
Posted by crazycatguy on November 20, 2009 at 3:00 PM
STJA 11
"... it increases the chances of conception."

Maude Lebowski

And, damned if I didn't know most of this already. OF COURSE your 'nads hurt the worst of all parts if they get nailed. If you don't have 'nads, you're evolutionarily dead. Ergo, selection for protection by making them painful.
Posted by STJA on November 20, 2009 at 3:24 PM
12
do your balls hang low?
do they wobble to and fro?
can you tie 'em in a knot?
can you tie 'em in a bow?
Posted by asdfff on November 20, 2009 at 3:44 PM
13
ooh, here's mine -

Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing from side to side?
When you take a cold shower do they run up you and hide?
When you see a foot a-comin' do you cover them with pride?
Do your balls hang low?
Posted by WK on November 20, 2009 at 4:32 PM
Cory 14
This article was too drawn out for me to care. Bullet points, people.
Posted by Cory on November 20, 2009 at 7:07 PM
15
Seriously? Nuts are uglier than snatch? Really? Um... If your straight maybe... To me the female parts look like something from a monster movie. Guess that's why I'm a fag.

Oh, and what's with the little aside that guys who like ball torture should have been weeded out of the gene pool by now? Not true for me and the gene pools I swim around in.
Posted by isalang on November 20, 2009 at 11:01 PM
Confluence 16
@14

Oh the 21st century American attention span. Unless it's a textable soundbyte with a bunch of "LOL"s, the kiddos tune out. We really are getting dumber and dumber. Try reading a book one day instead of a headline/status update, people. You might find that you actually learn something.
Posted by Confluence on November 21, 2009 at 6:31 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 17
Confluence, you made me chuckle. That was exactly my thought, too: "There's the MTV Generation for you." They have the attention span of a fucking gnat.

By the way, and all kidding aside, I enjoyed both articles (about the penis and the testicles) very much, Dan. Thanks for posting this. (It kind of makes me wonder why I let my Scientific American subscription lapse.)
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on November 21, 2009 at 7:50 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 18
Oh, and @15? You're gay. You're already "weeded out of the gene pool."
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on November 21, 2009 at 7:53 AM
Cory 19
Way to read between the lines, guys.
Posted by Cory on November 21, 2009 at 10:29 AM
markvz 20
My balls hang so fucking low, when I go jogging poodles step aside. GODDAMN!!!!!!
Posted by markvz on November 22, 2009 at 4:02 AM

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