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Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Hate You, Garrison Keillor

Posted by Jen Graves on Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 4:13 PM

Remember: American men don't do art unless it involves naked ladies, unless the men have thin shoulders. I hate you, Garrison Keillor.

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Comments (63) RSS

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1
Paul Constant looks like an uglier Garrison Keillor.

And writes like a stupider one
Posted by Max J on November 19, 2009 at 4:19 PM
2
Garrison Keillor needs to be spanked with the jawbone of an ass.
Posted by Loonesta on November 19, 2009 at 4:28 PM
giantbaiting 3
I got about four paragraphs in and stopped. I don't like to be spoken for, especially when the speaker is wrong.
Posted by giantbaiting http://www.youtube.com/user/giantbaiting on November 19, 2009 at 4:28 PM
baconpussy 4
@1: I would say "younger." From your tone, I think you're just being mean.

Jen, I think Garrison (a body of troops stationed in a particular location) Keillor is a sexist anachronism, whose bitter distaste for and self-perceived dominion over every other human is creepily palpable in this op-ed. The very thought of encountering those hair-spined eyebrows on a steamroom bench makes me cringe.

He would make a good curator for a museum of entartete Kunst.

I also think he'd like Edward Hopper very much, specifically A Woman in the Sun.
Posted by baconpussy on November 19, 2009 at 4:29 PM
5
Did he really just write about wanting to be at a boxing match or a strip club more than the museum? It's like he's channeling some weird, outsider's impression of a straight guy.
Posted by Dougsf on November 19, 2009 at 4:30 PM
gloomy gus 6
I confess his closing made made me forgive the laddishness.
Posted by gloomy gus on November 19, 2009 at 4:31 PM
smade 7
Shocking news item: men like sex and like looking at naked depictions of their preferred gender. Even in art galleries.
Posted by smade on November 19, 2009 at 4:31 PM
8
Geez, lighten up! He is a humorist writing about himself, in a self depreciating manner. You needn't take everything as a personal insult.
Posted by skippy McF on November 19, 2009 at 4:32 PM
9
Garrison Keilor has done more to promote art than anybody on the Stranger's staff.

Perhaps not the over-indulged visual arts that live in studios, to be discussed by wine-drinking afficionados...

But the arts of radio theater, folk music, and (shudder) spoken poetry have received amazing exposure due to his shows.

You don't have to like him. You don't even have to agree with his positions in this one essay.

But "hate" is a strong word for your distaste, Jen Graves.
I'd have expected that sort of vitriol from Erica Barnett, not you.
Posted by Ackham on November 19, 2009 at 4:32 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 10
No, no, Jen. Clearly you've learned nothing from Dan. Whenever you mention fucking Garrison Keillor, you're supposed to use as much fucking shitty, nasty obscenity as possible so that it comes up on the searches of all the fuckwits out there who are Googling his name. It seems the stupid fucking turds get offended easily. It's great fun, really, once you figure that out.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on November 19, 2009 at 4:33 PM
Matt from Denver 11
Anyone else think it's funny that this post is right above another Mudede hot-chick post? I think Mudede would agree with every word of Keillor's op ed.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 19, 2009 at 4:34 PM
danindowntown 12
@ 7 for the win.

The outrage in this post is laughable.

@ 4 You might be reaching a bit. PS What do you have against Edward Hopper?
Posted by danindowntown on November 19, 2009 at 4:35 PM
Enigma 13
That essay actually sounds like something I'd expect from Mr. Mudede. Talk up the wonderfulness of the female form then try to inexplicable link it to a social point.
Funny thing is, I usually like it when Charles does it, Garrison just sounds like a typical arrogant white guy with nothing original to bring to the conversation.
Posted by Enigma http://approvereferendum71.org/ on November 19, 2009 at 4:36 PM
Michael of the Green 14
Ugh, he sounds like Charles in that article. What complete drek. I've tried to like him over the years, but I'm gonna stop now. Whenever he writes about men/women, I just gag.
Posted by Michael of the Green on November 19, 2009 at 4:37 PM
15
@11 Yes! I just posted it in Mudede's thread!
Posted by kersy on November 19, 2009 at 4:39 PM
danindowntown 16
@ 9 Here, here.
Posted by danindowntown on November 19, 2009 at 4:39 PM
17
@9 Then he shouldn't write stupid shit like this. There's enough "men are big dumb sex obsessed animals" broadcast everywhere. We don't need a famous performer to continue it in the NYT.
Posted by kersy on November 19, 2009 at 4:41 PM
baconpussy 18
@12: My penis.
Posted by baconpussy on November 19, 2009 at 4:44 PM
danindowntown 19
@ 17 I hate to be the one to break this to you but some men are "big dumb sex obsessed animals." As much as Jen Graves might wish otherwise many people, including erudite and talented people like Garrison Keillor, do not connect to modern art unless it is figural and in his case figural representations of naked women.

You and others may not appreciate the sentiment he expresses but he is more than likely speaking for more American men that you or Ms. Graves would care to admit.
Posted by danindowntown on November 19, 2009 at 4:47 PM
danindowntown 20
@ 18 Have not hold.
Posted by danindowntown on November 19, 2009 at 4:48 PM
elenchos 21
What a turd of an essay. I can't believe the New York Times prints this kind of thing now.
Posted by elenchos on November 19, 2009 at 4:50 PM
Michael of the Green 22
@19 I guess it may have to do with the fact that I work in the art world, but most men I know are more complex than that. Even if they're obsessed with sex, they still have the capability of being not so single minded. Garrison and Mudede (or any other pending sex offenders) should refrain from writing about gender issues.
Posted by Michael of the Green on November 19, 2009 at 4:55 PM
23
@19 and some women are nagging, soul sucking bitches, but we don't need to paint the whole gender as such, do we? I think that tiny proportion of people are already over represented in the media and entertainment, same with the misandry that paints men as Neanderthals. Keillor doesn't need to add to that.
Posted by kersy on November 19, 2009 at 4:57 PM
danindowntown 24
@ 22 Single minded as in interpreting a middling NY Times OpEd piece as a personal attack and/or an assault on feminism, fine art or women in general?

At first I thought you had something interesting to say. I then read your hyperbolic use of the term "pending sex offenders" and had to discount the previous sentences.
Posted by danindowntown on November 19, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Michael of the Green 25
@24 How's that single minded? Besides, I don't take it as a personal attack; I just find it to be a tedious trope.
Posted by Michael of the Green on November 19, 2009 at 5:05 PM
26
@25 What about the tedious trope of people in the world of fine arts being humorless, pretentious, and elitist?

The reactions here to Keillor's essay have only served to play that trope straight, rather than avert or subvert it.
Posted by Ackham on November 19, 2009 at 5:16 PM
w7ngman 27
Wow. How did I go my whole life thinking the correct spelling of that phrase is to "wail" on something?
Posted by w7ngman http://userscripts.org/users/89370 on November 19, 2009 at 5:20 PM
pointy 28
This is moronic. If you don't like satire, don't read Garrison Keillor.
Posted by pointy on November 19, 2009 at 5:29 PM
29
If I ever again have to contemplate Garrison Kellior getting it on with a woman in a hot tub ....
Posted by BD on November 19, 2009 at 5:29 PM
pissy mcslogbot 30
Garrison Keillor should just shut his stupid pasty white know nothing about art pudgy smug old man face.

srsly.
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on November 19, 2009 at 5:32 PM
31
TL;DR
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on November 19, 2009 at 5:34 PM
32
@28- Satire? I don't think this qualifies. G.K. is pretty limp and flabby in his comedy, I've never quite understood his popularity. But then, Jay Leno's still on the air and I never understood him either. They should do a show together, the smug mediocrity would be amazing.
Posted by dwight moody on November 19, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Rhett Oracle 33
Hmmm. Garrison Keillor vs. Ayn Rand. "Don't hate us because we have written circles around you..." Christ - I hope someone doesn't post something from Robert Frost (senile, crusty, misanthropic white guy) or Joyce Carol Oates (Gothically complex) or Gore Vidal (sour old queen) or Tennessee Williams (drunken old queen) or Will and Ariel Durant (pedantically boring) or Stephen King (unabashedly Johnny-one-note). Garrison states that at 67 he doesn't care what you think? Looks like a clue to me.
Posted by Rhett Oracle on November 19, 2009 at 6:36 PM
pissy mcslogbot 34
oh, and All Things Considered... fuck the A Prairie Home Companion!!
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on November 19, 2009 at 7:19 PM
35
Garrison is such a cunt bucket. What a disgusting pile of flabby humor. Also, how dare he refer to minnesotans as fundamentalist. Also, he's had like six wives, and I heard he hits his kids.
Posted by The Cap'n on November 19, 2009 at 7:45 PM
36
wow.

you guys are talking crap about Garrison Keilor...seriously? obviously his humor goes right over your head. I'm with @28, if you don't like it, don't read it. he goes off to throw you off and make you react the way you do only to change direction at the end. if you're not smart enough to catch that he's making fun of himself, you're stupid. that's all there is to it.

but, you are all so worked up about stupid crap that you can't actually use your minds and see the humor in this? again, WOW.

my opinion of Jen Graves just went down quite a bit. "I know, i'll post a slog entry about how much I hate an old, liberal (thus the scarcasim about being conservative) Minnesotan guy. that'll...make me look cool?"

ass.
Posted by sonofknut on November 19, 2009 at 8:00 PM
37
w7ngman @ 27 -- How do you expect anyone here to now how you reached whatever age you are thinking the expression was "wail on"?

The primary variant is "wale on", i.e., to beat as to raise a wale (or weal); "whale on" is an accepted variant; "wail on" is adopted by the Urban Dictionary, i.e., people who can't spell and don't care.

Marvelous column by Keillor, btw.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on November 19, 2009 at 8:12 PM
MikeC in YF 38
@28

If you don't like satire, DO read Garrison Keillor.
Posted by MikeC in YF on November 19, 2009 at 8:36 PM
pissy mcslogbot 39
@37 : by Marvelous column you mean trite and hackneyed, right?
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on November 19, 2009 at 8:56 PM
40
@26

Did you actually just call elenchos "humorless, pretentious, and elitist"?
Posted by Irena on November 19, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Quincy 41
Tim Allen's comedy routine from the 1980s is pretty much the beginning and the end of what you need to know about men and women. Amirite, Keillor defenders!?!
Posted by Quincy on November 19, 2009 at 9:15 PM
42
OMG, I am so INSULTED and UPSET because WAAAHHHHHHH!

This is the stupidest post/comment thread I've seen in a long time. Not really a funny thing by Keillor, but Lake Wobegon Days means it doesn't really matter, and also WAAAHHHHHHH!
Posted by teenage eagle on November 19, 2009 at 9:17 PM
43
Why would you point us to such a vapid, asinine op-ed?
Posted by David Sucher http://citycomfortsblog.typepad.com/ on November 19, 2009 at 9:27 PM
44
Garrison Keillor is for old people and drama nerds.
Posted by kersy on November 19, 2009 at 9:35 PM
45
I'm a little confused about this thread. Why are so many of you defending that tripe? Garrison's essay was so hackneyed. Could I please point you to some "Married with Children" episodes that are more sophisticated than that? Did you people (I mean McF, danindowntown, teenage eagle, pointy, etc...) really think that was hilarious?

What standards.

Can someone please point me to a Seattle alternative that has a better demographic?
Posted by rose in belltown on November 19, 2009 at 10:32 PM
Matt from Denver 46
If you're familiar with Prairie Home Companion, you can kind of suss out Keillor's humor in these essays. BUT... he is someone who should just stick to radio. His essays often come across this way and invoke the old "it's not funny if you have to explain it" rule.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 19, 2009 at 10:48 PM
47
Thanks, Matt. I've listened to several episodes and the Altman movie (which I loved, in a schmoopy way). This particular essay makes me think he may be ill. Please point out the humor? I may be missing something.

BTW, I'm a fan (of yours)!
Posted by rose in belltown on November 19, 2009 at 11:01 PM
Matt from Denver 48
Thanks, Rose. When you read his stuff you have to imagine him reading it like a "News from Lake Woebegone" bit; that makes the parody more apparent. But the fact that you have to engage in such an exercise shows why his essays often fail.

It's possible that I'm completely wrong, and Jen and the others are correct in their interpretations, but some of the stuff he says in his essays come across this way. They really seem out of character if they're serious, but he's a satirical comedian so it makes sense that he intends for it to be satire. I believe he just has a problem with realizing that in essays as opposed to his radio show.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 19, 2009 at 11:19 PM
49
Matt is right, I can easily hear him inserting this as a side story during his News From LW monologue and hear the audience crack up at several points along the way.
Posted by gnossos on November 20, 2009 at 12:02 AM
50
I must be missing something. Clapping audience aside, I'm sure that you're right (gnossos). Thanks.
Posted by rose in belltown on November 20, 2009 at 12:21 AM
51
What's wrong with a bit of truth in how someone feels. Jesus, you want us to be truthful and chastise us when we are. It's supposed to be humor, even if you don't get it. I don't get British humor most of the time, but it doesn't mean that I hate John Cleese.
Posted by steakhaus on November 20, 2009 at 8:36 AM
chong 52
Wow. Jen didn't get the joke. She read the whole essay, and it flew right past her.

Jen doesn't sound like a very fun(ny) person to hang out with.
Posted by chong on November 20, 2009 at 8:49 AM
53
It's not that his opinion is so horrible—everyone is free to appreciate and emote about whatever kind of art floats their boat. But his dismissal of any other kind of art, complete with homophobic and sexist put-downs, is lowbrow and ignorant. He comes off as repulsive, rather than "humorous."
Posted by mitten on November 20, 2009 at 8:53 AM
laterite 54
His regular column on Salon is usually good, but this one missed the mark.
Posted by laterite on November 20, 2009 at 8:53 AM
55
I hate him too, but it has more to do with his breathy, dramatic-pausey voice. It just rubs me the wrong way, like he's trying too hard to be Garrison Keillor. I have to change the station when he comes on.
Posted by Christy O on November 20, 2009 at 9:16 AM
56
Really? An unfunny humor piece is cause for such hatred?
Posted by bigyaz on November 20, 2009 at 9:16 AM
Sabotage 57
Like oh my god, this is so funny and relevant, and if you don't appreciate "radio theater" about how awful it is to live on the coast and be liberal you have, like, no sense of humor, like, yeah! *hair flip* It's funny because it's, like, satire, duuuuuuuh. Straight men like boobs, hahahaha! *hair flip*
Posted by Sabotage on November 20, 2009 at 9:51 AM
seandr 58
Lots of men hate going to art museums and love naked women. And some women, apparently, hate them for it.
Posted by seandr on November 20, 2009 at 9:54 AM
59
@ 27 - I always thought it was wail on too. As in, "Johnny Ramone is totally gonna wail on his guitar!" It's like a sound a guitar makes.
Posted by You're not alone. on November 20, 2009 at 9:58 AM
60
I'm totally shocked and disappointed that Garrison Keillor wrote this. It seems that he's losing his mind. The "Lake Wobegon" brand of Funny does NOT come through in this, because it's simply not there. I'm actually sad, because overall I'd have said I liked Garrison Keillor. I didn't read all of the comments, but I completely agree with #17. He's made an ass of himself.
Posted by gettingtoknowyoubetter http://gettingtoknowyoubetter.wordpress.com/ on November 20, 2009 at 1:15 PM
61
This guy won't look at a nude painting directly "lest [he] be taken for a pervert"? I think there's something deeply wrong with this person. I can understand a fifteen year old boy being uncomfortable in a situation such as this with a "sweet woman" by his side. But this guy is pushing SEVENTY. And what was that shit about the steam room? I only skimmed it, but it sounded to me like he was bragging about getting laid in Chicago; "And so on and so forth" betraying both his age and his laziness to finish the god-damned fucking piece.
Posted by Jerod on November 20, 2009 at 10:19 PM
62
@57,

you totally didn't get the joke. it's okay. go ahead and flip yer hair a few more times.

Garrison Keilor is a LIBERAL guy who's from a LIBERAL state. his brand of humor is to point out things that are self-deprecating. sorry he didn't spell it out enough for some of you. he's also pretty OLD, but i really think some of you are TOTALLY over-thinking this, or, more likely, under-thinking/not getting it... but attacking anyway? (sounds like something the GOP would do!)

besides, it's not like Keilor gives two shits what you guys think. people that understand his brand of humor get it, those of you that don't, don't. it's not worth raking over like this though.

again, Graves totally biffed it on this one. she comes on WAY too strong about NOTHING. (like a certain conservative radio/tv host or two that i can think of...)
Posted by sonofknut on November 21, 2009 at 1:37 AM
63
What bothers me about this is that it's so obviously not true. Keilor loves the arts. He loves to pretend like he's this humble blue collar man who appreciates the simple life, but the reality is he's a big honking bookish nerd who romanticizes a lifestyle he simply isn't a part of.

Plus, he's my grandparents age and I just don't care to hear about what he's into sexually. I don't need to know what most guys my own age that I'm not dating are into. Call me a prude, but hearing him talk about wanting a naked lady waiting for him in the tub kind of grossed me out.

Posted by About as Funny & Relevant as Dave Barry on November 21, 2009 at 7:48 PM

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