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News & ArtsWednesday, November 18, 2009
Chow / Science You Look Good Enough to Eat
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Nov 18, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Over at h+ magazine's blog, it's "Eight Ways In-Vitro Meat will Change Our Lives," about how meat grown in a lab instead of on the hoof will liberate us all. Among the eight ways: no more animal-to-human plagues, former ranch land given over to waving fields of hemp, fewer greenhouse gasses due to the end of all those animal emissions, and...
6: Exotic & Kinky Cuisine.In-Vitro Meat will be fashioned from any creature, not just domestics that were affordable to farm. Yes, ANY ANIMAL, even rare beasts like snow leopard, or Komodo Dragon. We will want to taste them all. Some researchers believe we will also be able to create IVM using the DNA of extinct beasts — obviously, "DinoBurgers" will be served at every six-year-old boy's birthday party.
Humans are animals, so every hipster will try Cannibalism. Perhaps we'll just eat people we don't like, as author Iain M. Banks predicted in his short story, "The State of the Art" with diners feasting on "Stewed Idi Amin." But I imagine passionate lovers literally eating each other, growing sausages from their co-mingled tissues overnight in tabletop appliances similar to bread-making machines. And of course, masturbatory gourmands will simply gobble their own meat.
Now it is time for lunch.
1
I've been saying this shit for years, much to the horror of those around me. True americans prefer bald eagle burgers.
2
Um, no. The species is just one of hundreds of factors that go into making meat delicious. How, for just one example, is muscle tissue going to be exercised so that it's not mush?
4
But seriously, this guy had me until he completely jumped the rails and started proposing cannabilism. I began to suspect he was an undercover vegan operative right around the time he started suggesting lovers would eat sausage made from they're combined meat. yuck.
5
And, of course, there will be "designer meat" for gourmands unsatisfied with what naturally evolved DNA can put on the plate.
Anyone for fishken? or beeork? The gene pool is the limit...
Anyone for fishken? or beeork? The gene pool is the limit...
6
So what about the energy inputs and greenhouse gases involved with growing meat in a lab? Does electricity grow on trees?
9
The best steak is tenderloin, and tenderloin is the least exercised muscle. Coincidence? Nope. It's also one of the reasons animals are slaughtered at very young ages - their more tender overall than older animals.
10
I just want them to make human milk widely available as a beverage. It's delicious and nutritious.
14
Wow, Fnarf. When was the last time you went hunting and ate an animal that was "exercised"? You do realize that cages are a prerequisite for growing animal meat today (even local and organic), right?
#6: The greenhouse gases would be completely negligible if they decreased animal consumption. All the power plants in the world PLUS all the cars in the world PLUS all the airplanes in the world don't contribute as much to global warming as growing livestock for meat.
http://bit.ly/livestockwarming
#6: The greenhouse gases would be completely negligible if they decreased animal consumption. All the power plants in the world PLUS all the cars in the world PLUS all the airplanes in the world don't contribute as much to global warming as growing livestock for meat.
http://bit.ly/livestockwarming
16
Animals will still fart regardless of whether we eat them or not.
In fact, if nobody's eating them, there will be more of them emitting greenhouse-gas inducing farts.
In fact, if nobody's eating them, there will be more of them emitting greenhouse-gas inducing farts.
17
I would think one of the biggest markets for this would be chicken... think of all the chicken nugget-type products (in the grocery store and in fast food places) where the meat is pressed into a particular shape. It resembles meat almost not at all, and a switch to lab-grown meat would probably not even be noticed.
I doubt Filet Mignon at Smith & Wollensky is ever going to be replaced with lab meat, but think of all the mass-produced shit out there where price is more important than taste and texture.
I doubt Filet Mignon at Smith & Wollensky is ever going to be replaced with lab meat, but think of all the mass-produced shit out there where price is more important than taste and texture.
18
@ 14 "You do realize that cages are a prerequisite for growing animal meat today (even local and organic), right?" No I don't realize that to be the case but I do recognize that as a generalization and as one of the weak-tea arguments that vegans (from a culture rich enough to support a vegan lifestyle) routinely make when trying to convince others that their pedantry is just.
I routinely buy free-range (I have even been to their farm and seen the animals grazing freely) beef, pork and chicken from a local producer in the Skagit Valley and the meat it tender. If you guy local and organic you can still get tender cuts of meat from animals not "grown" in cages. Some of the cuts will be tough, which is what nature intends, and those cuts can be braised to make tender.
FAIL
I routinely buy free-range (I have even been to their farm and seen the animals grazing freely) beef, pork and chicken from a local producer in the Skagit Valley and the meat it tender. If you guy local and organic you can still get tender cuts of meat from animals not "grown" in cages. Some of the cuts will be tough, which is what nature intends, and those cuts can be braised to make tender.
FAIL
19
Also, this is kind of a neat technology to think about, in terms of what would change if it ever becomes viable for mass production. Especially for beef. Whose livelihoods would be affected (ranchers, slaughterhouses, corn farmers)? What would we do with all that land that's used to grow feed corn and raise cows now? Even beyond how the environment would be impacted, this is interesting stuff.
20
I bet a cow makes meat more efficiently than a laboratory. Meat needs a circulatory system to grow, nutrients that would have to come from somewhere (plants perhaps?) that would have to be processed and purified, the meat would need to be sterile, not an easy task...etc etc
22
If they took all the hipsters who want to do this and let them loose on a cannibal island, the world would be a far better place.
23
@20: Only part of the cow - less than half by weight, I suspect, but don't quote me - is edible meat. A big chunk of the cow's energy input goes toward growing the non-meat parts - bones, skin, the yuckier internal organs, etc. And another big chunk goes toward moving the cow around, breathing, etc. Once we've overcome the initial engineering challenges so that vat-growing meat becomes routine, I expect it will require less raw materials per pound of meat. Nutrient-wise, I bet a glucose solution with trace minerals will do the job.
As for sterility, have you read Fast Food Nation? Vat meat has no bowels. 'Nuff said.
As for sterility, have you read Fast Food Nation? Vat meat has no bowels. 'Nuff said.
27
@18, Ok, I'm not trying to defend trolls OR vegans, but a lot of cultures and religious groups adhere to strict vegan diets on a lot smaller budget than your average American meat-eater. Hindu folks, for an example. Lentils and rice are waaaaay cheaper than meat! http://rudenessgirl.blogspot.com/2009/11…
29
@9, since when is the best steak tenderloin? Tenderloin has no flavor. The best steak is rib eye or t-bone or Porterhouse. The best cut of beef is brisket, when properly prepared.
Diet: @23 suggests glucose with trace minerals. But diet is a HUGE part of what makes meat taste good. Part of the reason American factory beef tastes like shit is the steady diet of corn, as opposed to grass. Now you're going to grow it on glucose? You're going to make garbage, not food.
Diet: @23 suggests glucose with trace minerals. But diet is a HUGE part of what makes meat taste good. Part of the reason American factory beef tastes like shit is the steady diet of corn, as opposed to grass. Now you're going to grow it on glucose? You're going to make garbage, not food.
30
@29:
Thing is, most people who think McDonald's puts out a decent 'burger will never know the difference anyway.
Thing is, most people who think McDonald's puts out a decent 'burger will never know the difference anyway.
31
@ 27 I am glad you aren't defending trolls or vegans, both of which should be regarded as utterly indefensible.
I can't pretend to be an expert on Hindus or their diets but I don't believe that many are vegan, especially as we define vegans in this country. I do believe that many are vegetarians that consume large amounts of paneer and that even more avoid the consumption of beef.
A cogent argument can be made that Americans should eat less meat and should definitely be more concerned about how our food (both meat and non-meat) is raised/farmed but surely the pedantic, self-righteous, and insufferable vegan "lifestyle" is not the answer.
I can't pretend to be an expert on Hindus or their diets but I don't believe that many are vegan, especially as we define vegans in this country. I do believe that many are vegetarians that consume large amounts of paneer and that even more avoid the consumption of beef.
A cogent argument can be made that Americans should eat less meat and should definitely be more concerned about how our food (both meat and non-meat) is raised/farmed but surely the pedantic, self-righteous, and insufferable vegan "lifestyle" is not the answer.
32
If they can ever make vat meat tasty and somewhat sustainable, I will be one happy consumer. I love the taste of meat, and I would eat a much healthier diet if I weren't always using carbs and dairy to replace the meat I avoid on moral grounds.
33
If this really happens, I'm going to kill myself. I don't want to live in a world where my sun has dinoburgers for his birthday.
34
Julie in Eugene, I agree with you completely. Fnarf, you can still have your T-bone, but for the vast quantities of frozen and canned meat consumed in America, nobody would even know the difference.
I find it odd that so many are disgusted by this, but are seemingly okay with the present model of factory farms, which are thoroughly disgusting and morally reprehensible.
I find it odd that so many are disgusted by this, but are seemingly okay with the present model of factory farms, which are thoroughly disgusting and morally reprehensible.
35
On July 10th 2001 I received my first order of porterhouse manbeef ($59.97/lb).
http://web.archive.org/web/2001120421012…
Delicious. I will never forgive the feds for shutting them down.
http://web.archive.org/web/2001120421012…
Delicious. I will never forgive the feds for shutting them down.
36
Now, genetic cannibalism is one thing, but there's no way in heck I'm going to eat something that could be considered my offspring... sausage from a concoction of mine and my lover's bodily fluids, indeed! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned oral sex?
37
@31: For a second I read your first paragraph as, "defending trolls or vegans, both of which should be regarded as utterly INDIGESTIBLE." LOL.
38
@ Fnarf (if you see this at this point), since ALWAYS. You wrap it in bacon to give it flavor. If you've never done this you've never lived.
39
So given this...whatever...We can assume that it is not a remote possibility that we could actually dine on stewed corrupt politicians with a side dish of trashy celebrities' salad made fresh every day sometime in the not-so-distant future. Heck, even if this were possible I wouldn't dare feed on such people lest I want to kill myself.
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