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News & ArtsTuesday, November 17, 2009
Media It's "Dear Prudence" Not "Miss Manners"
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 11:46 AM
Prudence takes a hardline on fathers-in-law who hug too much but cuts some slack for fathers-in-law who fart too much. She also admits to being a habitual and indiscreet farter herself—and her dog's pretty gassy too. Um... thanks for sharing?
1
Yeah, I read that column earlier for some reason and was thinking I didn't really want to know any of that.
2
Boys are never comfortable with the idea that girls fart. Whadya think - rainbows come out of there?
4
@2: Speaking of which:
If masturbating was s'posed to be cute, pink bunnies would do it in meadows and they'd ejaculate rainbows and flower petals.
-from http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01122…
If masturbating was s'posed to be cute, pink bunnies would do it in meadows and they'd ejaculate rainbows and flower petals.
-from http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01122…
5
My wife is still amazed that the things that come outta my butt don't smell of lavander with hints of vanilla and wood-smoke.
6
Um, am I a little over-sensitive here, or did she suggest there that this guy may be feeling up the kiddies?
8
She did suggest that he might be a pedophile or something.
I thought that was inappropriate. The only issue we *know* of with regards to the long-hugger is that his standards for hugs may be different. There's no way for her to know whether he's being inappropriately *sexual* with hugs without more information, and there's certainly no reason to suggest he could be a pedophile.
That kind of leap of logic is the kind of shit that fuels the pedophilia hysteria in this country that leads to idiotic laws and 14 year olds on sex offender registries for harmless experimentation.
Also masturbation can be cute! But calling it "cuddling yourself" is not cute.
I thought that was inappropriate. The only issue we *know* of with regards to the long-hugger is that his standards for hugs may be different. There's no way for her to know whether he's being inappropriately *sexual* with hugs without more information, and there's certainly no reason to suggest he could be a pedophile.
That kind of leap of logic is the kind of shit that fuels the pedophilia hysteria in this country that leads to idiotic laws and 14 year olds on sex offender registries for harmless experimentation.
Also masturbation can be cute! But calling it "cuddling yourself" is not cute.
9
I read the advice she gave and it pissed me off. Here's what she should have said:
"People from dysfunctional families tend to take on the role of one parent and then marry the other. So it is not surprising that all three sons would marry distant women who are uncomfortable with touching. It is probable their mother was that way. And your father-in-law may be compensating for the physical affection he isn't getting in his marriage.
But since the long hugs are unwanted here is how to handle the situation. Put you arms around your father-in-law and give a hug as long as you are comfortable with. When you are ready for the hung to end, drop your arms. This is your signal that you want the hug to end. If it continues on, the gently push your father-in-law away and say 'I guess I am not that comfortable with hugging.' Repeat as necessary."
And the suggestion that the father-in-law needed to watched around any grandchildren was outrageous.
"People from dysfunctional families tend to take on the role of one parent and then marry the other. So it is not surprising that all three sons would marry distant women who are uncomfortable with touching. It is probable their mother was that way. And your father-in-law may be compensating for the physical affection he isn't getting in his marriage.
But since the long hugs are unwanted here is how to handle the situation. Put you arms around your father-in-law and give a hug as long as you are comfortable with. When you are ready for the hung to end, drop your arms. This is your signal that you want the hug to end. If it continues on, the gently push your father-in-law away and say 'I guess I am not that comfortable with hugging.' Repeat as necessary."
And the suggestion that the father-in-law needed to watched around any grandchildren was outrageous.
10
Eh, I agree with Prudie here--I had an uncle who became very, very, *very* huggy to all the females in the house when he got just the slightest bit drunk. And that affection was extended to me (age 6), my sister (8), my mother (30), and my grandmother (64). And while I thought Uncle Phil was just being very friendly with me, it made for a very awkward and uncomfortable Christmas Eve for everyone else who knew better. This is not to say that long, groping hugs are a gateway perversion to pedophilia, but it seems like it's more of an undiscriminating impulse than others.
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