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News & ArtsFriday, November 13, 2009
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: My Son Likes Stickpussy
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 2:56 PM
I'm a 44-year-old single father and my 18-year-old son lives at home with me. We get along great and i love him dearly. I work nights and usually get home around 6:30 a.m. Long story short, I came home one morning last week to find my son passed out on the couch with his pants pulled down and a transexual porn DVD on the TV. I was a little shocked but I thought it best to just let him sleep and deal with it later. At dinner that night when I asked him why he was watching transexual porn his face turned white and he fumbled through the excuse that he didn't realize that he bought "tranny porn" and fell asleep before he could get up and turn it off. I didn't push the issue but I am highly skeptical as the DVD case was covered with nothing but transexuals. Excuse my ignorance, but is it safe to say my son is gay? He's had many girlfriends and I've never seen or felt anything that would lead me to believe that he likes men. Are transexuals even considered "men"? Should I try to get him to open up about his feelings or leave him alone? Whatever he is into will never change my love for him but I am unsure how to open up dialogue with him at this point.A Confused Dad
My response after the jump...
Your son doesn't like men, ACD, he likes cock. All that transsexual porn being pumped into the porn market—porn featuring those lovable and lovely "chicks with dicks," or the ladies with the "stickpussy," as a fan described it in early "Savage Love" column—is mostly consumed by mostly straight guys. Gay men generally don't rent tranny porn or actual trannies. So I would say that if anything your son's professed sexual orientation—straight or nearly straight—was confirmed, not undermined, by what you saw that morning.
While straight guys into cock represent a small minority of straight guys, ACD, their numbers are large enough to support a robust and growing market for tranny porn and tranny escorts. I know it can be hard for straight guys who aren't into cock to wrap their heads around straight guys who are—doesn't a guy with a thing for dicks define gay?—but the world contains multitudes. Just as some mostly straight women are turned on by fondling other women's breasts, some mostly straight guys are turned on by the seeing and/or touching other men's cocks. And for these guys cock goes down easier when it's attached to someone who reads as female in every other respect. Because they are genuinely attracted to women—to feminine curves and breasts and hips and pretty faces—and to pussy—and if they can get can satisfy their lust for/curiosity about cocks with a woman, well, that's Yahtzee.
What to do? Drop it. You stumbled over your son's fetish, you saw him getting his kink on. Thanks to his carelessness you know something about your son that you, as a parent, had a right not to know. Your job now is to pretend that you don't know it.
1
God, I can feel that kid's embarrassment from here. It reminds me of when I was in the fourth grade and my mom caught me drawing risque pictures of the New Kids on the Block.
2
Maybe the dad should buy his kid a cheap TV and DVD player for his room or something? Then at least the kid can be careless and pass out pantsless in his own room.
3
There was a question in there you didn't answer, Dan: "Are transexuals even considered "men"? " It's a matter of some controversy here in high-functioning autistic-land. Some of my peers think that you are the gender you were born into no matter what you do. Some think that even if you get tits, grow your hair out, get hormones, even get your dick shaved into a pussy, you're still a boy who really really wants to be a girl. I disagree.
But I'd like to hear your opinion explicitly. I'm pretty sure I've successfully read between the lines. At what point does a person who is transgendered in his or her soul become in fact his or her new gender? Is a chick who's happy keeping her dick a chick? Is Buck Angel a dude after bearing two rugrats? At what point does the change occur?
But I'd like to hear your opinion explicitly. I'm pretty sure I've successfully read between the lines. At what point does a person who is transgendered in his or her soul become in fact his or her new gender? Is a chick who's happy keeping her dick a chick? Is Buck Angel a dude after bearing two rugrats? At what point does the change occur?
4
The kid fell asleep while watching porn--tranny porn, no less--in his father's house? I don't buy it. The letter is written by a 44-year-old guy who likes tranny porn and is panicking about it to the point where he needs an alias, namely, his (possibly non-existent) son.
5
hey the max - how about this for a thought: a person is whomever they want to be. instead of us all judging if a person is a "chick" or a "dude", let's just let that person decide, regardless of what they've got in their pants.
welcome to trans 101.
welcome to trans 101.
6
"some mostly straight guys are turned on by the seeing and/or touching other men's cocks."
Who are you kidding?
Who are you kidding?
7
OMG! Stickpussy is my new favorite term EVER!
I second @ 2's advice. Get that poor kid a TV/DVD combo or laptop with a DVD drive. PS Is the kid narcoleptic or was he just drunk or high? I get becoming sleepy after you cum but DAMN!
I second @ 2's advice. Get that poor kid a TV/DVD combo or laptop with a DVD drive. PS Is the kid narcoleptic or was he just drunk or high? I get becoming sleepy after you cum but DAMN!
8
This sounds like a dad who's cool with it and who loves his son, and it sounds like it's too late to pretend it never happened. His son knows what his dad saw, and apparently he's ashamed of it.
That's sad, and it seems like his dad cares enough to help him accept that what must seem like a bizarre kink falls within a healthy range of sexual expression.
I'm not sure avoidance is the best advice in this case.
That's sad, and it seems like his dad cares enough to help him accept that what must seem like a bizarre kink falls within a healthy range of sexual expression.
I'm not sure avoidance is the best advice in this case.
9
I'm with Urgutha. By 18, the guy deserves the right to wank off in private. To whatever turns his crank, even if it is gay. It's none of Daddy's business.
10
I second @5! Whatever pronoun a person calls themself, is a pronoun you should use to describe them. Shit, I'll call you Giraffe if that's what makes you happy.
13
As a gurl that sometimes messes around with said straight guys... I totally agree with what Dan has to say here. Everything about those types of guys is straight - but sometimes they just like a girl with a dick. Who am I to turn them away?...;)
14
@4 I agree, what kind of kid just passes out without pants on somewhere where his dad might see him?
15
I'm going to join the crowd and suggest getting the 18 year old his own means to watch DVDs, so he can wank in private.
I'm also going to suggest that we let people define themselves, and follow their lead. They are the experts on their persons.
I'm also going to suggest that we let people define themselves, and follow their lead. They are the experts on their persons.
16
@2&9- He's 18, he can afford his own TV/DVD player. They're only slightly more expense than a pint of icecream these days.
17
@4 for the win.
LOL. No, @12, although I did catch him with some hentai tentacle pr0n once ... he's into girls/women.
LOL. No, @12, although I did catch him with some hentai tentacle pr0n once ... he's into girls/women.
18
Dan, you missed the real problem here.
I'm not at all concerned with the whole tranny thing, but what's with the passing out before he has time to pull up his pants? Narcolepsy? Orgasm induced coma? Fainting from overstimulations?
I'm not at all concerned with the whole tranny thing, but what's with the passing out before he has time to pull up his pants? Narcolepsy? Orgasm induced coma? Fainting from overstimulations?
20
I also think @4 is right.
But I've got to say this has to be the dumbest thing Savage has written so far, and that's saying a lot. How can a man be a real man, str8 and like penis? This is the sort of brainwashing of our young men that some homosexuals do, telling them that liking penises doesn't make them gay, noo, they're str8 so long as they still like to see some breasts and the occasional vagina on the side. Or telling them if they do it for money then they're gay for pay instead of telling them the truth, that they're letting an out of control curiosity confuse them to the point of driving them to act out something they aren't.
But I've got to say this has to be the dumbest thing Savage has written so far, and that's saying a lot. How can a man be a real man, str8 and like penis? This is the sort of brainwashing of our young men that some homosexuals do, telling them that liking penises doesn't make them gay, noo, they're str8 so long as they still like to see some breasts and the occasional vagina on the side. Or telling them if they do it for money then they're gay for pay instead of telling them the truth, that they're letting an out of control curiosity confuse them to the point of driving them to act out something they aren't.
21
Is it possible that this guy's son is actually gay and the the transexual porn is sort of a way to avoid getting actual gay porn? Is it out of the question that a gay man could get turned on at times by trannies or trannie porn?
22
I'm also doubting the legitimacy of this letter...what 18 year old actually buys/rents porn? Kids download their porn these days. 40 year old dads however...
23
Seriously, the opening paragraph sounds like the worst cheezy porn out there. People in real life do not fall asleep while masturbating to kink and have their dad walk in on them. Or their bi-curious football quarterback room mate. Or a lost squadron of Brazilian commandos.
24
I was totally with you until the very last paragraph, Dan.
Drop it? Pretend it never happened? No way!
Dad knows. Son knows that dad knows, and is obviously ashamed. Pretending it never happened just sends the message that son SHOULD be ashamed. That is the wrong message.
Instead, Dad should tell his son that any kinks are okay, so long as they don't hurt anyone else. Tell him he shouldn't be ashamed. Let him know he's okay, and dad doesn't think he's a freak. Then, after he has given the little pep talk, never speak of it again unless the son brings it up. The son is, after all, entitled to a little privacy regarding his kinks.
Drop it? Pretend it never happened? No way!
Dad knows. Son knows that dad knows, and is obviously ashamed. Pretending it never happened just sends the message that son SHOULD be ashamed. That is the wrong message.
Instead, Dad should tell his son that any kinks are okay, so long as they don't hurt anyone else. Tell him he shouldn't be ashamed. Let him know he's okay, and dad doesn't think he's a freak. Then, after he has given the little pep talk, never speak of it again unless the son brings it up. The son is, after all, entitled to a little privacy regarding his kinks.
25
@18: you are apparently female, so I'll help you out: boys get sleepy when they blow their load, whether it's inside a girl or just by themselves. once you're out, you're out 'till something wakes ya.
26
It's cool that this dad is wanting to help; his heart's in the right place. The whole situation, though, reminds me of friends' struggles with how to deal with their young children who are exploring their bodies. The best answer seems to be to explain the feelings they are having are natural but they should be private ones. It seems like the 18 year old needs a refresher course about these sorts of boundaries. (Rereading it now, though, it doesn't say whether the kid was in his room or not - just that the father came home to find him this way. Where'd he find him?)
If he was in the living room, it seems that he is already comfortable enough with how his dad might respond to fall asleep with porn in the DVD player in the living room. Dad should take comfort in that - because I'm pretty sure if I was that freaked out about it I'd be pretty vigilant about the whole situation.
If he was in the living room, it seems that he is already comfortable enough with how his dad might respond to fall asleep with porn in the DVD player in the living room. Dad should take comfort in that - because I'm pretty sure if I was that freaked out about it I'd be pretty vigilant about the whole situation.
27
Well, as far as the "when does one know they're trans," I've known forever, frankly. And like most of us who've had to grown up living with the body we were born with, you get pretty used to/comfortable with it after a time, because being transgender doesn't have anything to do with changing your parts, it's about your gender, not your genitalia. Changing your genitalia to match your gender is changing your sex, you are then a transexual.
And since being a transexual is oftentimes way too expensive for most, we tend to stay in the "transgender" category.
I wish names and labels didn't matter like they do. This all a waste of time when we could and should just be ourselves and let everyone else deal or fuck off.
And since being a transexual is oftentimes way too expensive for most, we tend to stay in the "transgender" category.
I wish names and labels didn't matter like they do. This all a waste of time when we could and should just be ourselves and let everyone else deal or fuck off.
28
@22 is right
No 18 year old would buy or rent porn. I wouldn't (Okay, perhaps very few would, but the odds that this boy is one of them is slim).
Most of us have laptops these days anyway. Porn is what the internet is for.
No 18 year old would buy or rent porn. I wouldn't (Okay, perhaps very few would, but the odds that this boy is one of them is slim).
Most of us have laptops these days anyway. Porn is what the internet is for.
29
Heather @21,
It is possible son is gay, but highly unlikely.
As Dan said, a vast majority of the consumers of tranny porn identify as straight. The kind of trannies that appear in those videos look 90% like a woman, who happens to have a dick. The body, the face, the tits, the hair, the makeup, etc… all woman. Gay men aren't attracted to that. We're attracted to men. Male body, male pecs, male face, male hair, etc.. not just cock. As a gay man, I'm no more sexually attracted to a tranny than I am to any other female.
It is possible son is gay, but highly unlikely.
As Dan said, a vast majority of the consumers of tranny porn identify as straight. The kind of trannies that appear in those videos look 90% like a woman, who happens to have a dick. The body, the face, the tits, the hair, the makeup, etc… all woman. Gay men aren't attracted to that. We're attracted to men. Male body, male pecs, male face, male hair, etc.. not just cock. As a gay man, I'm no more sexually attracted to a tranny than I am to any other female.
30
@ #1 - I can sorta relate. When I was young, for some very odd reason, whenever I would draw an animal (say a skunk, horse, or lion) I would always include a penis. And this was at the innocent age of 5 years old.
Why? I don't honestly know. I just did. It stopped when my mother reprimanded me for doing so, because it was "naughty," and "we don't draw things like that."
Why? I don't honestly know. I just did. It stopped when my mother reprimanded me for doing so, because it was "naughty," and "we don't draw things like that."
32
Regarding the comment in Dan's response about the market for tranny porn and escorts: Just what % of F2M trannies become porn actors (actresses?) and/ or escorts? Whenever I pass the backpage section, I am amazed at not just how many escorts there are in general, but the number of trannies. I have worked with a few, and in all seriosness, I have only met 1 that was passable as a real woman.
34
"And for these guys cock goes down easier when it's attached to someone who reads as female in every other respect."
sweet.
sweet.
35
He came home at 6:30 in the morning, it's not that implausible that the son was watching it really late and just passed out, it's happened to me on occasion when i'm dead tired but horny at the same time and just fall asleep without turning the vibrator off. Its always happened in the privacy of my room, but still..
37
@20 - You can brainwash a str8 guy into being gay about as easily as you can brainwash Carrie Precum into being an intellectual giant. You can't.
As far as your idiotic declarative: How can a man be a real man, str8 and like penis? - you've never met some of the frat boiz, merchant mariners and US Marines I have.
Try to remain within the boundaries of your expertise: intolerant, uninformed dumbassery.
As far as your idiotic declarative: How can a man be a real man, str8 and like penis? - you've never met some of the frat boiz, merchant mariners and US Marines I have.
Try to remain within the boundaries of your expertise: intolerant, uninformed dumbassery.
38
Boy, what a great dad. People have all kinds of sexual tastes. Get over it. Move along. Nothing else to see here.
39
This is such a fake - Dan must have been in the mood to answer it anyway. I suspect that the reaction of 95% of gay-guys to the whole "chicks with dicks" porn thing is a giant Eeeeeeewwwwwww!
40
"I suspect that the reaction of 95% of gay-guys to the whole "chicks with dicks" porn thing is a giant Eeeeeeewwwwwww!"
Which pretty much proves the point: it isn't gay men watching this stuff.
Also, Loveschild: please fuck off.
Which pretty much proves the point: it isn't gay men watching this stuff.
Also, Loveschild: please fuck off.
41
Thumbs up, Dan, especially on the "drop it" advice. I'm not sure I would have even brought it up, although I'm not a parent.
@39: I agree that there is some evidence that it is fake. But even if it is, his advice would still help other parents in this situation. I had a similar experience as a kid, and that was how my mom handled it, for which I was appreciative.
@39: I agree that there is some evidence that it is fake. But even if it is, his advice would still help other parents in this situation. I had a similar experience as a kid, and that was how my mom handled it, for which I was appreciative.
42
Loveschild says "How can a man be a real man... and like penis?"
So my gay, athletic, successful boyfriend with a YX chromosome is somehow not a real man? Good to know.
So my gay, athletic, successful boyfriend with a YX chromosome is somehow not a real man? Good to know.
43
#24.
I could not agree more, and I'm so glad to see someone else say this.
From my experience and work and reading about harm that is done to queer kids, second only to outright bigotry from parents is silence. There have been far too many parents--good, loving parents--who have been stunned and heartbroken by their gay and trans kids attempting (and sometimes committing) suicide. They say, "But we've never said anything negative about homosexuality."
The problem is that they've said nothing negative, and nothing at all, about it. Their very silence on it has been interpreted as condemnation, whether they meant that or not. The unmentioned because the unmentionable.
If this guy's letter is true, and it isn't about him, but rather his son, I hope he doesn't keep silent. His son could very well interpret that silence as judgment, or worse: disgust.
But he doesn't need to have a cheesy American Pie-like heart-to-heart either. All dad has to do is look his kid in the eye and say, "Everything is cool. Everything. I'm here if you want to talk. If not, I'll mind my own business. But everything is cool."
And then, keep his word.
Pretending it never happened just sends the message that son SHOULD be ashamed. That is the wrong message.
I could not agree more, and I'm so glad to see someone else say this.
From my experience and work and reading about harm that is done to queer kids, second only to outright bigotry from parents is silence. There have been far too many parents--good, loving parents--who have been stunned and heartbroken by their gay and trans kids attempting (and sometimes committing) suicide. They say, "But we've never said anything negative about homosexuality."
The problem is that they've said nothing negative, and nothing at all, about it. Their very silence on it has been interpreted as condemnation, whether they meant that or not. The unmentioned because the unmentionable.
If this guy's letter is true, and it isn't about him, but rather his son, I hope he doesn't keep silent. His son could very well interpret that silence as judgment, or worse: disgust.
But he doesn't need to have a cheesy American Pie-like heart-to-heart either. All dad has to do is look his kid in the eye and say, "Everything is cool. Everything. I'm here if you want to talk. If not, I'll mind my own business. But everything is cool."
And then, keep his word.
44
@ 43,
I have to agree that Dad should let his kid know it's okay for him to be attracted to transsexuals. I don't think it would be a good idea for this boy to date "bio" girls just to be socially acceptable if he isn't really attracted to them, anymore than I think it's a good idea for a gay man to date women to be socially acceptable. If the kid is attracted to transsexuals, then he needs to know "everything is cool".
I have to agree that Dad should let his kid know it's okay for him to be attracted to transsexuals. I don't think it would be a good idea for this boy to date "bio" girls just to be socially acceptable if he isn't really attracted to them, anymore than I think it's a good idea for a gay man to date women to be socially acceptable. If the kid is attracted to transsexuals, then he needs to know "everything is cool".
45
I can't even believe this discussion is even happening. The OP is fine, even if kinda fake and trite. The discussion following is just insipid — this comment included. :P
One, there's nothing more stupid than having trans commenters proselytize to non-trans people about what they so, uhm, apparently expertly know. Supposedly, reading from the "I knew since I was fwee yeah ol'!" skript and being on juice for a few months or years makes self-appointed "transucators", "gender consultants" and "gender etymologists" out of way too many frankly naïve, fresh-from-closet trans people. They make other people with trans life experiences never want to be known by others as trans themselves. Maybe it's time for a new Children of the Mattachine Bilitis or sslt.
Yet — and yet — shitty consensus is, at best, reached between those self-appointed mavens of endocrine morphology. Put 'em all in a room together, and they'll argue ad nauseam that they know better than the other trans person (who probably isn't as "real" as they are, or sslt). Particularly with the male-to-female types, the arrogance of thinking they know it all can piss off a lot of other transfolk. Small wonder so few people, especially people exposed to them around Cap Hill or Redmond, can take them very seriously. No wonder Dan has a field day with trannies by keeping them in their freak-i-fied place. Imagine if one of these got powerful. Dan, having to go around them all the time around da hood, would never want that to happen. It would be chaos.
@27, I'm talking about you on this thread. Others (like "trans i am") on other threads are no less off the hook. Well, @13 is, since she knows what she likes and what others like about her. No proselytizing there. More power to ya, kid.
Let your son experiment, ACD. He might end up a honkin' tranny chaser, or if you're really lucky, maybe he'll come out as trans himself when he hits, oh, forty-five and is the father of three children and runs a white collar business. In all likelihood, though, he's probably testing out his kinks and seeing what works. Respect him for at least trying to figure out what works instead of him being completely prudish.
(Hey, at least your son's not down in Spanaway snorting crystal meth off some sex offender's left nip.)
More...
One, there's nothing more stupid than having trans commenters proselytize to non-trans people about what they so, uhm, apparently expertly know. Supposedly, reading from the "I knew since I was fwee yeah ol'!" skript and being on juice for a few months or years makes self-appointed "transucators", "gender consultants" and "gender etymologists" out of way too many frankly naïve, fresh-from-closet trans people. They make other people with trans life experiences never want to be known by others as trans themselves. Maybe it's time for a new Children of the Mattachine Bilitis or sslt.
Yet — and yet — shitty consensus is, at best, reached between those self-appointed mavens of endocrine morphology. Put 'em all in a room together, and they'll argue ad nauseam that they know better than the other trans person (who probably isn't as "real" as they are, or sslt). Particularly with the male-to-female types, the arrogance of thinking they know it all can piss off a lot of other transfolk. Small wonder so few people, especially people exposed to them around Cap Hill or Redmond, can take them very seriously. No wonder Dan has a field day with trannies by keeping them in their freak-i-fied place. Imagine if one of these got powerful. Dan, having to go around them all the time around da hood, would never want that to happen. It would be chaos.
@27, I'm talking about you on this thread. Others (like "trans i am") on other threads are no less off the hook. Well, @13 is, since she knows what she likes and what others like about her. No proselytizing there. More power to ya, kid.
Let your son experiment, ACD. He might end up a honkin' tranny chaser, or if you're really lucky, maybe he'll come out as trans himself when he hits, oh, forty-five and is the father of three children and runs a white collar business. In all likelihood, though, he's probably testing out his kinks and seeing what works. Respect him for at least trying to figure out what works instead of him being completely prudish.
(Hey, at least your son's not down in Spanaway snorting crystal meth off some sex offender's left nip.)
46
@20: Yeah, the concept of the "chicks with dicks" or "stickpussy" level of sexuality seems weird and unreal, but there's tons of other levels of sexuality that people are into that many of us may not understand. It doesn't give us a right to disrespect it, and if isn't infringing on your right to have the sex you want, why give a fuck? I can't understand how people find scat sexually attractive, but they do.
"He who is without dogshit on his sneaker, take the first step on the white rug." - Fontaine (Whoopi Goldberg)
"He who is without dogshit on his sneaker, take the first step on the white rug." - Fontaine (Whoopi Goldberg)
48
@43: Great approach...
"All dad has to do is look his kid in the eye and say, "Everything is cool. Everything. I'm here if you want to talk. If not, I'll mind my own business. But everything is cool.""
"All dad has to do is look his kid in the eye and say, "Everything is cool. Everything. I'm here if you want to talk. If not, I'll mind my own business. But everything is cool.""
52
I highly recommend the episode of South Park where Kyle decides to become black and Randy decides to become a dolphin. Sorry, you are what you're born. I'll call you what you want out of respect, and I think everyone deserves the right, legally, to mutilate themselves however they wish, but a Jew is never going to be black and a man is never going to be a dolphin.
Why can't people just be as "masculine" or "feminine" as they want with their functioning genitals intact? Gender is socially constructed; you are only "masculine" or "feminine" in terms of ideas other people have created. "I felt like a woman trapped in a man's body" always sounds like "I don't know how to deal with my personality not fitting into others' expectations of my sex" to me. I don't really give a shit how people deal with their fucked-up-ness, but I'm not going to pretend it's normal to slice your body for the sake of arbitrary ideals.
Why can't people just be as "masculine" or "feminine" as they want with their functioning genitals intact? Gender is socially constructed; you are only "masculine" or "feminine" in terms of ideas other people have created. "I felt like a woman trapped in a man's body" always sounds like "I don't know how to deal with my personality not fitting into others' expectations of my sex" to me. I don't really give a shit how people deal with their fucked-up-ness, but I'm not going to pretend it's normal to slice your body for the sake of arbitrary ideals.
53
@52: "I'm not going to pretend it's normal to slice your body for the sake of arbitrary ideals."
You suggesting we also ditch elective plastic surgery then? Whatever will the porn industry do? What about Cher?
You suggesting we also ditch elective plastic surgery then? Whatever will the porn industry do? What about Cher?
57
Why do we have to discuss whether the letters Dan posts are fake or not? He posts them for a reason, and I think some good discussions come out of it either way. Fucked-up shit happens to people in this world EVERY DAY. People do things with their genitals and orifices that many of us have never thought of EVERY DAY. Do you really think that no parent has ever found his/her child asleep with the porn still running? As far as internet porn goes, there are people still out there who can't afford internet. Shocking! And, I work an hour north of Seattle and have coworkers who still have DIAL-UP because no internet company offers anything else where they live...and what do you know? One of them has two teenage sons. So, if you think it's bullshit, couldn't you just move on so I don't have to waste time reading your irrelevant comment?
Great, I basically just broke my own rule...but really, who cares if it's fake?
Great, I basically just broke my own rule...but really, who cares if it's fake?
58
@52 You must have limited interactions with Real Live Transsexuals!
In the flesh, many trans guys are fags, and many trans women are tomboys. We're not on a spectrum from masculine to feminine. Like everyone else, our gender is not just a social construct. And that "I felt like a woman trapped in a man's body" line is something you've heard in the media over and over, but it isn't something trans folks have told you; we don't get access to media outlets because we are a tiny, powerless minority. Very few of us, at least very few people that I have met, feel like that line really represents their experience fully. Transition is a nuanced, difficult process that's about a lot more than surgery and hormones; it's about trying to be able to look in the mirror and see the right person look back at you. You have no idea how lost you can feel when a stranger looks back at you for years from that mirror, and how miraculous it is that there are things you can do to reclaim your own body. Why are you so interested in our "functioning genitals"? And why are you so certain that we start out feeling fucked up?
In the flesh, many trans guys are fags, and many trans women are tomboys. We're not on a spectrum from masculine to feminine. Like everyone else, our gender is not just a social construct. And that "I felt like a woman trapped in a man's body" line is something you've heard in the media over and over, but it isn't something trans folks have told you; we don't get access to media outlets because we are a tiny, powerless minority. Very few of us, at least very few people that I have met, feel like that line really represents their experience fully. Transition is a nuanced, difficult process that's about a lot more than surgery and hormones; it's about trying to be able to look in the mirror and see the right person look back at you. You have no idea how lost you can feel when a stranger looks back at you for years from that mirror, and how miraculous it is that there are things you can do to reclaim your own body. Why are you so interested in our "functioning genitals"? And why are you so certain that we start out feeling fucked up?
59
Actually this letter reminds me of one of the better roommates I have ever had in my life. I only had to "lay down" one spontaneous rule, which was "Dude, not THAT underwear. Not in the living room."
To the father in this scenario- Dan may have said "drop the subject", and for the most part he is correct. However, when appropriate to bring up, you should mention public versus private areas of the house, and how that also applies to roommates. You know, something along the lines of "It wasn't the porn itself that's the issue. It's the living room."
P.S. Having recently worked as a clerk in an adult novelty shop for about six months, I can vouch for the fact that 18 year old boys and girls do still go in and about 5-10% do make purchases. I know this because I have carded them.
To the father in this scenario- Dan may have said "drop the subject", and for the most part he is correct. However, when appropriate to bring up, you should mention public versus private areas of the house, and how that also applies to roommates. You know, something along the lines of "It wasn't the porn itself that's the issue. It's the living room."
P.S. Having recently worked as a clerk in an adult novelty shop for about six months, I can vouch for the fact that 18 year old boys and girls do still go in and about 5-10% do make purchases. I know this because I have carded them.
60
Uh, "gender" is articulation, like a dialect. This applies to everyone, whether they're aware of it or not. Depending on context and people around whom one interacts, there can and will be variation — even for the most straight-laced person on the planet. The way one articulates themselves before their co-workers would not necessarily be, say, one articulates themselves around their best friends. That, folks, is gender. Take all the time you must to wrap your head around that. That "gender" even got conflated with "sex" or "sexuality" or "trans people" is a linguistic problem that won't be remedied anytime soon.
@58: to the very first thing you said, pretty much. But actual trans people of a certain life experience still push that "A trapped in a B's body" excrement — typically the same ones who refer to themselves "before" as a different person, speaking of them as if they are somebody else. These folks are a big part of this equation's problem. They fuck it up for a slew of others who just stand there agape, head shaking, turned away, and just sick to one's stomach the way one might react if watching some crotch rocketer plough his ride and body into an expressway pylon at 100. Without a helmet.
There really is a concept one could get away with called "subconscious sex" — or as I'd put it, "sense of self". Then there's that whole "physical sex" concept over which most people are most hung up. Oh yeah, once you push that crap out of the way, let's talk about sexuality. Too complicated? Not really. Not to me, and not to those I know who share this overarching life experience. Get used to our reality, because you're gonna be hearing it more and more as time goes on.
Let's break it down, from core to this-really-doesn't-belong-here:
1) Sense of self (or, uh, subconscious sex). Good luck having *anyone* convince what you know otherwise.
2) Physical sex (or, if you wanna get voluntarily reproductive, this is what you've got to potentially generate sprogs). Like a constitutional document, this one can be amended to the suitability of one's own constitution. Some figure this out much, much sooner than most, and then they get on with their life. The rest, a really visible troupe, get into this me-me-me limelight and make it problematic for those of us who just look at them in disdain.
3) Sexuality. Whatever turns you on. Dan is an expert columnist on this one apparently — and, well, only this one.
4) Gender. You speak with an accent. You verbally articulate yourself differently around different people and different social settings. Same with the way you articulate your social presence. Thus, this bunks "transgender" off the map and is really a politically unpopular concept. But "gender" is no more innate than an spoken accent.
And like you, the reader, we'd (speaking on my personal peer group, that is) like to see an eradication to the problem folk who spew those "trapped in a body" yarns which get so much goddamned press attention as they have for sixty years (which, I'd add, they thrive on, as it becomes all about them and their middle-aged, mid-career-change narcissism, often at the expense of children and unwitting spouses). This weekend alone, same shit: some article in NY Times is about one of those kind of folk — some prodigy pianist who wouldn't have made such a name had "zie" come out before her music-making career even began back in the '80s when only men were virtuosos — who make so many of us wretch for knowing that this is what people think of when they think of what "teh tran" is all about.
It's no better to assume that all straight men beat women, that all gay men swish and wear pink, that all dykes sport a buzzcut, and that all straight women are dying to start a family. All said archetypes blow chunks, and all do a disservice to many who don't play up to those bad stereotypes.
Dude, this is stupid. Even trying to engage self-assured wanks like Dan and others who blithely commented on this SL thread is just the same old shit in redux. Do I sound pissed off? When being told I'm as worthy as faecal matter by the Dan Savages of our fine planet; that I'm really someone else's stereotype about trapped bodies and dual personalities and mid-life career crises; being told I'm just like that scary, tittering fifty-year-old tranny in the miniskirt who walks up B'way at 7p; and being told that I'm persona non grata at every last goddamned clinic in the Puget Sound region because my body is, "1-3-8, oh fuck," not cissexual (though I took ownership over this body and dealt with it literally ages ago) — for well north of half your out life, all by the ripe old age of 35 — I no longer play nice.
Don't like hearing about it? Then start wising up and quit re-running the same denigrating tropes, people — you particularly so, Dan-O.
More...
@58: to the very first thing you said, pretty much. But actual trans people of a certain life experience still push that "A trapped in a B's body" excrement — typically the same ones who refer to themselves "before" as a different person, speaking of them as if they are somebody else. These folks are a big part of this equation's problem. They fuck it up for a slew of others who just stand there agape, head shaking, turned away, and just sick to one's stomach the way one might react if watching some crotch rocketer plough his ride and body into an expressway pylon at 100. Without a helmet.
There really is a concept one could get away with called "subconscious sex" — or as I'd put it, "sense of self". Then there's that whole "physical sex" concept over which most people are most hung up. Oh yeah, once you push that crap out of the way, let's talk about sexuality. Too complicated? Not really. Not to me, and not to those I know who share this overarching life experience. Get used to our reality, because you're gonna be hearing it more and more as time goes on.
Let's break it down, from core to this-really-doesn't-belong-here:
1) Sense of self (or, uh, subconscious sex). Good luck having *anyone* convince what you know otherwise.
2) Physical sex (or, if you wanna get voluntarily reproductive, this is what you've got to potentially generate sprogs). Like a constitutional document, this one can be amended to the suitability of one's own constitution. Some figure this out much, much sooner than most, and then they get on with their life. The rest, a really visible troupe, get into this me-me-me limelight and make it problematic for those of us who just look at them in disdain.
3) Sexuality. Whatever turns you on. Dan is an expert columnist on this one apparently — and, well, only this one.
4) Gender. You speak with an accent. You verbally articulate yourself differently around different people and different social settings. Same with the way you articulate your social presence. Thus, this bunks "transgender" off the map and is really a politically unpopular concept. But "gender" is no more innate than an spoken accent.
And like you, the reader, we'd (speaking on my personal peer group, that is) like to see an eradication to the problem folk who spew those "trapped in a body" yarns which get so much goddamned press attention as they have for sixty years (which, I'd add, they thrive on, as it becomes all about them and their middle-aged, mid-career-change narcissism, often at the expense of children and unwitting spouses). This weekend alone, same shit: some article in NY Times is about one of those kind of folk — some prodigy pianist who wouldn't have made such a name had "zie" come out before her music-making career even began back in the '80s when only men were virtuosos — who make so many of us wretch for knowing that this is what people think of when they think of what "teh tran" is all about.
It's no better to assume that all straight men beat women, that all gay men swish and wear pink, that all dykes sport a buzzcut, and that all straight women are dying to start a family. All said archetypes blow chunks, and all do a disservice to many who don't play up to those bad stereotypes.
Dude, this is stupid. Even trying to engage self-assured wanks like Dan and others who blithely commented on this SL thread is just the same old shit in redux. Do I sound pissed off? When being told I'm as worthy as faecal matter by the Dan Savages of our fine planet; that I'm really someone else's stereotype about trapped bodies and dual personalities and mid-life career crises; being told I'm just like that scary, tittering fifty-year-old tranny in the miniskirt who walks up B'way at 7p; and being told that I'm persona non grata at every last goddamned clinic in the Puget Sound region because my body is, "1-3-8, oh fuck," not cissexual (though I took ownership over this body and dealt with it literally ages ago) — for well north of half your out life, all by the ripe old age of 35 — I no longer play nice.
Don't like hearing about it? Then start wising up and quit re-running the same denigrating tropes, people — you particularly so, Dan-O.
61
@53, Cher is a perfect example of someone fucking themselves up with surgery.
Let me reiterate: I don't actually care about what people do to their own bodies. I don't care if you want five breast implants or seven balls. I don't care if you want to stick a fork in a toaster, for that matter. Do whatever you want.
@58, the DSM-IV-TR agrees with me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_iden… Thinking YOUR body, the body you were born in, is not your body means that you aren't in touch with reality.
Gender reassignment surgery is one option for treatment, but that's akin to suicide being a treatment for depression. Like... "Gosh, I look in the mirror, and I see a live person but all my life, I've felt like a corpse. The real me is a corpse." I don't care if you resolve the issue physically instead of mentally (i.e. alter your body in a drastic way to make your vision of reality accurate) but it's not something I consider healthy or reasonable.
To answer the questions, I'm interested in functioning genitals because I like to have them and I enjoy the company of others'. I would never fuck a tranny, is my point. A big, slimy, artificially enlarged clit does not equal a penis. (Not saying slug-like genitals should be illegal, just that I find them distasteful.)
I'm certain that trannies start out feeling fucked up because they aren't satisfied with the status quo, i.e. their unaltered bodies. Elective surgery is always a response to a perceived problem.
@60, niggling about terminology is seriously weak. The definition of gender that we're using is obviously not that. I mean, would you interrupt an abortion debate to point out that abortion refers to the termination of anything, not just foetuses, so obviously anyone who is anti-choice doesn't believe in ending things? Pointless.
More...
Let me reiterate: I don't actually care about what people do to their own bodies. I don't care if you want five breast implants or seven balls. I don't care if you want to stick a fork in a toaster, for that matter. Do whatever you want.
@58, the DSM-IV-TR agrees with me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_iden… Thinking YOUR body, the body you were born in, is not your body means that you aren't in touch with reality.
Gender reassignment surgery is one option for treatment, but that's akin to suicide being a treatment for depression. Like... "Gosh, I look in the mirror, and I see a live person but all my life, I've felt like a corpse. The real me is a corpse." I don't care if you resolve the issue physically instead of mentally (i.e. alter your body in a drastic way to make your vision of reality accurate) but it's not something I consider healthy or reasonable.
To answer the questions, I'm interested in functioning genitals because I like to have them and I enjoy the company of others'. I would never fuck a tranny, is my point. A big, slimy, artificially enlarged clit does not equal a penis. (Not saying slug-like genitals should be illegal, just that I find them distasteful.)
I'm certain that trannies start out feeling fucked up because they aren't satisfied with the status quo, i.e. their unaltered bodies. Elective surgery is always a response to a perceived problem.
@60, niggling about terminology is seriously weak. The definition of gender that we're using is obviously not that. I mean, would you interrupt an abortion debate to point out that abortion refers to the termination of anything, not just foetuses, so obviously anyone who is anti-choice doesn't believe in ending things? Pointless.
62
Dan,
OK, first of all: kudos on making the point that a straight guy who happens to have a thing for trans women is still a straight guy. Just like some men are interested in tall women, or petite women, or redheads etc., some men are into women who are trans.
Where things go off the rails in your piece above, however, is that instead of taking your usual line on fetishising some physical aspect of a person (it's okay to have such a fetish as long as you remember that there's a person attached to that desirable characteristic and treat her/him accordingly), you throw yourself full-on into parroting every objectifying cliche that the porn industry has hung on trans women.
Terms like "stickpussy" are okay, if--and this is important--they are being used by a trans woman to talk about her own anatomy. Used by some guy who was getting off on objectifying women with a certain physical characteristic, and then regurgitated by you, a cisgendered male? Not okay.
Likewise, "tranny" is very iffy. If someone self-identifies as a "tranny" for whatever reason, that's one thing. But "tranny" can be used in a very degrading way; here it blurs the distinction between a transvestite (someone who identifies as one gender and dresses up as another gender) and a trans woman (a woman born with male sexual characteristics and assigned the male gender). This kind of thing can be terribly, terribly painful for some women.
Trans people are subjected to some of the most appalling oppression in our society. Every day trans folk get beaten, murdered, fired from their jobs, and suffer social exclusion and poverty. Do you really feel that it's acceptable to use this kind of dismissive language about such a vulnerable group? Why?
OK, first of all: kudos on making the point that a straight guy who happens to have a thing for trans women is still a straight guy. Just like some men are interested in tall women, or petite women, or redheads etc., some men are into women who are trans.
Where things go off the rails in your piece above, however, is that instead of taking your usual line on fetishising some physical aspect of a person (it's okay to have such a fetish as long as you remember that there's a person attached to that desirable characteristic and treat her/him accordingly), you throw yourself full-on into parroting every objectifying cliche that the porn industry has hung on trans women.
Terms like "stickpussy" are okay, if--and this is important--they are being used by a trans woman to talk about her own anatomy. Used by some guy who was getting off on objectifying women with a certain physical characteristic, and then regurgitated by you, a cisgendered male? Not okay.
Likewise, "tranny" is very iffy. If someone self-identifies as a "tranny" for whatever reason, that's one thing. But "tranny" can be used in a very degrading way; here it blurs the distinction between a transvestite (someone who identifies as one gender and dresses up as another gender) and a trans woman (a woman born with male sexual characteristics and assigned the male gender). This kind of thing can be terribly, terribly painful for some women.
Trans people are subjected to some of the most appalling oppression in our society. Every day trans folk get beaten, murdered, fired from their jobs, and suffer social exclusion and poverty. Do you really feel that it's acceptable to use this kind of dismissive language about such a vulnerable group? Why?
63
@61: Sweet jesus, dude. The DSM-IV is about as credible as APA's stand on homosexuality was before 1973. QED.
Far be it for some group of skeevy, pervy men with white coats, dated sofas, and Freudian ideals to know better than me about what works for me and my body. I live with this flesh every goddamned day of my life, just like you live with yours. They don't, and they don't give a shit about it the minute you'd walk out — except for the satisfaction of control they want to have over it.
Even Dan, as much as he takes umbrage with certain kinds of folks, I'm sure could recognize the fraud it is for some "expert" to tell him that his life is a mental illness the way all those experts said before the APA eliminated homosexuality as a mental illness in 1973. I don't affirm the DSM-IV's position, just as no self-respecting homo would respect the pre-73 position. I look at those shrinks with no more credulity than Harold did with his in "Harold & Maude". Good flic, by the way.
I will meet you halfway on one merit: what you see and what I see, most often than not, are the highly visible "men in dresses" who campaign their quest for "the surgery" which, you so drolly point out, appears to be paramount to suicide as a solution for depression (for some or for all people, you weren't as clear, but I'll assume the latter). From my world view of seeing middle-aged guys coming out as "transgender" after making a life in manhood, there isn't a lot of sympathy I feel for them when they bellyache how their bodies aren't right and junior won't talk to him anymore cos "no dad of mine would become a 'maddy.'" Then, on the hand they conveniently forget to add, they earned their keep in career, in equity to social-cultural spaces as men, and in career opportunities open to them because they were men at the right time (welllll, they're still men, but let's not niggle yet, shall we?).
The best course of action when they can't "blend in" (they call it "going stealth", which I find offensive to pretty much every woman concerned, myself included) is to be a loud and visible tranny who loves being interviewed, proselytizing the orthodoxy they were taught by those DSM-IV tools wearing the white coats. Their fall-back is to spend tens of thousands of dollars they made from their careers as men (in professions where women sort of aren't seen) to break their faces and take voice lessons and all sorts of other shit to look "authentic"-whatever. It's head-shaking pathetic to me. These trannies are the one who sway the white coats into perpetuating this deviant diagnosis shit solely because it validates their own social-gender-revisionist lives. You cannot undo a history of manhood, guys, even if you silently hated it or whatever. Own it. You'll get more respect if you man up — tran up? — and take responsibility for your decisions. Leave the rest of us out of it.
As far as my body goes, Harpz, it's actually a lot of fun to have. I enjoy it. It "works", as you might see it, quite nicely. My lovers enjoy it. It's good times for all concerned, and really, at the end of the day, that's all I give a shit about. Then again, I took ownership over my body way back in my teens before womanhood — something those "men in dresses" vocally envy and consistently resent. It's demeaning to have some pancake-madeup leather-face look at you in their ridiculous frock, wig and falsetto (or baritone), telling you how lucky you are for being "young and pretty". My reply? "Yeah, and you're the one who was making $120K a year, sired a couple of kids and, pardon the pun, dragged a wife into it. How fucking selfish and narcissistic of you." Then they go so low as to hate on the fact that I don't wear a fucking dress and prefer docs and rolled up jeans (for city bicycling, you know) over stilettos. Or that I don't wear makeup and have super-short hair. And still, in their words, "pass". N plz.
They prefer we didn't exist. And they do a fairly good job making sure to throw obstacles in our way to effect that obstruction, starting with complete refusal by clinics in this region to see me as a preventive care patient due to their (well-founded) fear of dealing with men in dresses and thinking we're all alike the way Ron Jeremy, George Clooney, and Henry Kissinger are all alike. I found workaround: now the doctor just has me on record as previously undergone a hysterectomy and unaware of anything more than that. Solved a *lot* of problems.
These men in dresses (I sometimes use the acronym "miad") are the people I think of when I hear you make your argument, and without realizing it, these are exactly the people you think of when you express your point as you did. Folks like me aren't even on your radar. You might not fuck a tranny, and that's great. Assume you haven't already. There's a fucktruck of people I don't wanna boink, either. You're probably one of them. And like you, I wouldn't want to fuck a man in a dress, either.
So until you even begin to grasp what my reality is really like, Harpz4Ever, then I suggest you brew yourself a pot of shut the fuck up and enjoy its aroma as you sip away. I will, without hesitation, "niggle" over meaning and interpretation of terminology if it means it makes cogent sense to me, makes sense to those who are aware of it, and makes sense out of the blissfully unaware reality that pretty much every person I see walking about outside moves through.
Speaking of which, you should try living somewhere English isn't the main language, and you'll find out pretty quickly that "gender" is a linguistic component and "transgender" doesn't even exist in the lexicon. Yes, mon ami, "transgender" is a niggling English language construct. Stupid anglos.
Consider yourself lucky in your own oblivion. You live in the thick of it.
More...
Far be it for some group of skeevy, pervy men with white coats, dated sofas, and Freudian ideals to know better than me about what works for me and my body. I live with this flesh every goddamned day of my life, just like you live with yours. They don't, and they don't give a shit about it the minute you'd walk out — except for the satisfaction of control they want to have over it.
Even Dan, as much as he takes umbrage with certain kinds of folks, I'm sure could recognize the fraud it is for some "expert" to tell him that his life is a mental illness the way all those experts said before the APA eliminated homosexuality as a mental illness in 1973. I don't affirm the DSM-IV's position, just as no self-respecting homo would respect the pre-73 position. I look at those shrinks with no more credulity than Harold did with his in "Harold & Maude". Good flic, by the way.
I will meet you halfway on one merit: what you see and what I see, most often than not, are the highly visible "men in dresses" who campaign their quest for "the surgery" which, you so drolly point out, appears to be paramount to suicide as a solution for depression (for some or for all people, you weren't as clear, but I'll assume the latter). From my world view of seeing middle-aged guys coming out as "transgender" after making a life in manhood, there isn't a lot of sympathy I feel for them when they bellyache how their bodies aren't right and junior won't talk to him anymore cos "no dad of mine would become a 'maddy.'" Then, on the hand they conveniently forget to add, they earned their keep in career, in equity to social-cultural spaces as men, and in career opportunities open to them because they were men at the right time (welllll, they're still men, but let's not niggle yet, shall we?).
The best course of action when they can't "blend in" (they call it "going stealth", which I find offensive to pretty much every woman concerned, myself included) is to be a loud and visible tranny who loves being interviewed, proselytizing the orthodoxy they were taught by those DSM-IV tools wearing the white coats. Their fall-back is to spend tens of thousands of dollars they made from their careers as men (in professions where women sort of aren't seen) to break their faces and take voice lessons and all sorts of other shit to look "authentic"-whatever. It's head-shaking pathetic to me. These trannies are the one who sway the white coats into perpetuating this deviant diagnosis shit solely because it validates their own social-gender-revisionist lives. You cannot undo a history of manhood, guys, even if you silently hated it or whatever. Own it. You'll get more respect if you man up — tran up? — and take responsibility for your decisions. Leave the rest of us out of it.
As far as my body goes, Harpz, it's actually a lot of fun to have. I enjoy it. It "works", as you might see it, quite nicely. My lovers enjoy it. It's good times for all concerned, and really, at the end of the day, that's all I give a shit about. Then again, I took ownership over my body way back in my teens before womanhood — something those "men in dresses" vocally envy and consistently resent. It's demeaning to have some pancake-madeup leather-face look at you in their ridiculous frock, wig and falsetto (or baritone), telling you how lucky you are for being "young and pretty". My reply? "Yeah, and you're the one who was making $120K a year, sired a couple of kids and, pardon the pun, dragged a wife into it. How fucking selfish and narcissistic of you." Then they go so low as to hate on the fact that I don't wear a fucking dress and prefer docs and rolled up jeans (for city bicycling, you know) over stilettos. Or that I don't wear makeup and have super-short hair. And still, in their words, "pass". N plz.
They prefer we didn't exist. And they do a fairly good job making sure to throw obstacles in our way to effect that obstruction, starting with complete refusal by clinics in this region to see me as a preventive care patient due to their (well-founded) fear of dealing with men in dresses and thinking we're all alike the way Ron Jeremy, George Clooney, and Henry Kissinger are all alike. I found workaround: now the doctor just has me on record as previously undergone a hysterectomy and unaware of anything more than that. Solved a *lot* of problems.
These men in dresses (I sometimes use the acronym "miad") are the people I think of when I hear you make your argument, and without realizing it, these are exactly the people you think of when you express your point as you did. Folks like me aren't even on your radar. You might not fuck a tranny, and that's great. Assume you haven't already. There's a fucktruck of people I don't wanna boink, either. You're probably one of them. And like you, I wouldn't want to fuck a man in a dress, either.
So until you even begin to grasp what my reality is really like, Harpz4Ever, then I suggest you brew yourself a pot of shut the fuck up and enjoy its aroma as you sip away. I will, without hesitation, "niggle" over meaning and interpretation of terminology if it means it makes cogent sense to me, makes sense to those who are aware of it, and makes sense out of the blissfully unaware reality that pretty much every person I see walking about outside moves through.
Speaking of which, you should try living somewhere English isn't the main language, and you'll find out pretty quickly that "gender" is a linguistic component and "transgender" doesn't even exist in the lexicon. Yes, mon ami, "transgender" is a niggling English language construct. Stupid anglos.
Consider yourself lucky in your own oblivion. You live in the thick of it.
64
@62: Actually, I sorta laughed aloud when I read "stickpussy". Reminded me of Juno's "pork sword" reference, or my friend's insistence that women have, uh, "axe wounds". Yes, he is a happy homo, and it does me honour to call him my friend.
65
Oh, and @62, your proselytizing of "self-identification", the rhetorical questions, and spitting out your p.c. lesson needs to just stop already. It's p.a. You sound like you're reading from a script.
66
@25: Uh, no. I'm female, and like many people in general, I pretty much *pass out* after cumming. My boyfriend? It can vary ... but 50-50, he's as perky as you please. Not saying it isn't possible for this kid just to have made a mistake this one time, though.
@43: Ditto everyone. Great advice.
@43: Ditto everyone. Great advice.
68
jeebus. Do i actually have to read all of these comments?
I read the advice. . . i read some comments. My thoughts - For fuck's sake.
I read the advice. . . i read some comments. My thoughts - For fuck's sake.
69
It's 'eefing transtastic™ to have trans experiences show up in two ways:
1. In porn.
2. As a dead hooker in the beginning of an episode of CSI.
again - for fuck's sake.
1. In porn.
2. As a dead hooker in the beginning of an episode of CSI.
again - for fuck's sake.
70
You forgot #3, trans i am:
3. Forty-something men in dresses making appearances for TV interviews or news stories and talking about the "lie" they lived before they saw the light, leapfrogging to success after having a crotch chop and ignoring the glaring fact that they could not at all have gotten to where they were in their social-economic life had they been socialized as women or come into adulthood as anything but men or boys.
Actually, that should've been #1 on your list as the most common trope. But I wonder why that was left off.
3. Forty-something men in dresses making appearances for TV interviews or news stories and talking about the "lie" they lived before they saw the light, leapfrogging to success after having a crotch chop and ignoring the glaring fact that they could not at all have gotten to where they were in their social-economic life had they been socialized as women or come into adulthood as anything but men or boys.
Actually, that should've been #1 on your list as the most common trope. But I wonder why that was left off.
71
Jesus Christ, Telsa Grills! YOU are what I think of when I think tranny, actually. Your intellectual gymnastics don't impress me and I have no interest in debating this with someone with such a firmly closed mind. I thought our conversation might be enlightening, even if it didn't change my mind, but you're too busy making assumptions about me and pontificating about all the ways you're better than everyone else to offer any real insight.
I hope you realize that I'm not checking these comments anymore and spare yourself the effort of rambling on for another dozen paragraphs. You're boring and offensive and I can't imagine how anyone IRL could tolerate your presence, let alone your inverted penis.
I hope you realize that I'm not checking these comments anymore and spare yourself the effort of rambling on for another dozen paragraphs. You're boring and offensive and I can't imagine how anyone IRL could tolerate your presence, let alone your inverted penis.
73
This is really superb one which I is very interesting one and I like this...wana sex and crazy about this blog.Thanks for the nice post.Keep up.Swingers Contacts
74
This is one of the great post and this is very nice as well as well informative so this is very common that your son like stickpussy.My son also like that so ummm....
75
Maybe ACD should tell him it's okay? If he is feeling so ashamed, it might lead to him always feeling ashamed about what he wants and desires sexually; which includes Transexuals and penises. I would think some validation, saying that 'it is okay to like what you like' is something ACD's son needs.
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The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
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NYC Man Ticketed for Not Riding in the Bike Lane by Jonathan Golob
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