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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Milky Way

Posted by on Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 2:28 PM

milkmade.jpg
Some readers were confused and/or disturbed when Dungeon Boy, in yesterday's SLLOTD, mentioned that he'd agreed to let a friendly bondage top "hook [him] up to a milking machine" on his return visit, sans asshole ex-boyfriend, to the bondage top's upstate NY dungeon. "From what my farmboy friends tell me," wrote one commenter, "automatic milking machines are usually set for a gallon and don't drop off till then." Another: "Milking machine sounds remotely dangerous." Yet another: "A fucking milking machine? Will someone please explain or post a pic of one of these things?"

We can do better than a picture: I've posted an XTube video—NSFYW—after the jump. Click through and you'll see that it's not an actual milking machine from a dairy, but a sort of automated male masturbation device. They're popular with SMers—they're popular with wealthy SMers (these things are expensive)—because they're dehumanizing, because you can "set it and forget it," and because the thing won't stop milking the boy after he comes and that, I'm told, is unpleasant in the extreme. And being unpleasant is the whole point. See for yourself after the jump...

 

Comments (26) RSS

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w7ngman 1
"the thing won't stop milking the boy after he comes and that, I'm told, is unpleasant in the extreme"

I've always been amazed at porn stars' ability to take that particular brand of punishment. I usually start uncontrollably flinching/spasming and someone's liable to lose an eye.
Posted by w7ngman http://userscripts.org/users/89370 on November 11, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Ness 2
I know I don't have a penis, so I am in no way equiped to be the judge of what would feel good for one. But OW!
And I'm not sure what is more terrifying, the suit or the machine.
I'm too much of a pussy for S&M, I think.
Posted by Ness http://www.collegecandy.com/author/nessfraser on November 11, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 3
Aw, Ness, you'd look really cute in that suit. Trust me. ;-)
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on November 11, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Timmytee 4
Looks about as safe as that guy who fucks himself with a toilet brush that you had in your column a couple weeks ago, Dan. Not for me, thanks.
Posted by Timmytee on November 11, 2009 at 3:25 PM
gloomy gus 5
(Shudder)(not in a good way).
Posted by gloomy gus on November 11, 2009 at 3:31 PM
6
Anyone else think of "The Joke: The Musical"?
Posted by rolandcrosby on November 11, 2009 at 3:37 PM
7
I'm just a salesman...I sell leather pants.
Posted by Frank Rizzo on November 11, 2009 at 4:27 PM
Rhett Oracle 8
How can you be certain this isn't a bootlegged film of the kinder, gentler execution of John Allen Muhammad?
Posted by Rhett Oracle on November 11, 2009 at 4:43 PM
crazycatguy 9
Not the slightest bit sexy in any way.
Posted by crazycatguy on November 11, 2009 at 4:47 PM
10
I have to say, as a transman... that these videos showcase one of the few - and I mean FEW - reasons why I'm okay not having a penis.

FIrst video: Triple ouch

Second video: projectile vomit mentally + triple ouch.
Posted by dakoneko on November 11, 2009 at 5:35 PM
11
Different strokes for different folks. If I posted a video of some guy performing cunnilingus and then wrote, "projectile vomit mentally," "not the slightest bit sexy in any way," "(Shudder)(not in a good way)," etc., which would pretty much sum up my honest reaction, everyone on Slog would jump down my throat.

Not all things appeal to all people. But clearly those guys are, um, finding joy. Good for them.
Posted by Dan Savage on November 11, 2009 at 5:48 PM
12
This perverted bi girl thinks those were hot, especially the 2nd one!
Posted by KinkyBiGirl on November 11, 2009 at 5:51 PM
B Strand 13
But Dan, performing cunnilingus is fun.

I think a milking machine sounds interesting at first, but then painful. It's not my thing, but if that's how you get your kicks, have fun.
Posted by B Strand http://www.twitter.com/strand206 on November 11, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 14
Awesome.
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on November 11, 2009 at 6:13 PM
15
Whoa. My boyfriend jumps a mile if I touch him anywhere for the first few minutes after a blowjob. I'd imagine he'd leave an boy-shaped hole in the roof if hooked up to one of those things.
Posted by Ems on November 11, 2009 at 6:24 PM
singing cynic 16
@ 6 & 7 -- YES. "Withdraaaaawn..."
Posted by singing cynic on November 11, 2009 at 6:47 PM
TVDinner 17
Gosh, I thought the first video was especially sweet, and I liked the suit in the second one. Peach is not a color I usually associate with BDSM.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on November 11, 2009 at 7:17 PM
Explorer 18
"Set it and forget it," ha ha! In the next room there's a guy with his nuts in a CrockPot.
Posted by Explorer on November 11, 2009 at 7:53 PM
cheerio 19
I am going to agree with Dan on this - I actually found the guy's sounds kind of cute. He was clearly enjoying himself and, hell, more power to him.
Posted by cheerio on November 11, 2009 at 9:37 PM
20
but Dan you're gay and everything else is wrong!
Posted by Malcom X? more like Faggot X on November 11, 2009 at 9:40 PM
21
Bwrah?
Posted by DaiBando on November 11, 2009 at 11:09 PM
22
Hot. In a disturbing way. Especially the second one.

Color me a deep vanilla-shade of confused tinted with a lot of curious pink:

What are the full body suits for? To emphasize the dehumanizing? To focus the guy's sensory on his cock? For anonymity on X-tube?

Is this mostly a boy-to-boy activity? Or do kinky girls and boys with enough disposable income do this too? I'd guess yeah, given girl-fucking machines, there's probably Dommes with milking machines.

And finally, burning general BDSM question: When somebody is hooked up to a machine or in a really intricate bondage/gag scenario, how on earth does a safe word work? It looks like it would be hazardous to suddenly rip that pump-thing off.

Wikipedia only references cows.

Posted by OrangeYouGladForDan on November 11, 2009 at 11:28 PM
Lanis01 23
Oh my god...that looks so painful....what the hell....my dick hurts just looking at that. The guy's foreskin in the second video looks painfully stretched. Man...that's just insane...

...where does the cum go I wonder.
Posted by Lanis01 on November 11, 2009 at 11:45 PM
Timmytee 24
Post those cunnilingus vids, just to see if you're right, Dan.
Posted by Timmytee on November 12, 2009 at 3:59 AM
25
I watched the second one first and found it a real turn-on, actually. The guy didn't seem to be in pain at all, though, so maybe that's why. (Brings out the kinky domme girl in me, which is never very deeply hidden.) The first one was scary and I shut it off less than a minute in. The guy sounded like he was being hacked at with a carving knife! Guess this just proves yet again that I'm not one for hardcore S&M.
Posted by Peri on November 12, 2009 at 7:27 AM
26
Interesting. All the previews after the first video are gay, but for the second one they're mostly straight with a female masturbation and something with a strapon thrown in for good measure. I guess the DP in the bottom right corner is there to make up for the lack of cock - or summat.
Posted by Sili on November 12, 2009 at 8:17 AM

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