Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, November 10, 2009
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: Update From Dungeon Boy
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 at 2:50 PM
You answered my letter in your daily "Savage Love" last week. I'm the 22-year-old gay man with the 33-year-old boyfriend who called me a whore after I let a friend of his tie me up at a dungeon party that my boyfriend took me to on Halloween. ("First Time Bondage Experience Gone Wrong.") You told me to break up with him but I didn't have a chance. One of the hosts of the party—the one who tied me up—saw my letter on your website and sent an angry email to my boyfriend and told him that he was being an asshole. Then my boyfriend called and screamed at me and broke up with me. So it's over and I didn't have to end it. You did. But I'm not upset! I'm just writing now to tell you that I was going to take your advice but my boyfriend beat me to it. (And that gay guys with dungeons in their houses in upstate New York are reading Slog. I read your column and Slog because I grew up in Bellevue, Washington.)There's a silver lining: I'm going back to my ex-boyfriend's ex-friend's house this weekend. I'm not really physically attracted to him—you don't have to delete this detail if use this letter because I told him upfront—but I like him and I want to get tied up again. So we have a date-for-bondage but not a date-for-romance. I did agree to be naked this time and I'm going to be there all weekend and I agreed to let the guy with the dungeon hook me up to a milking machine to make me come and I'm going to spend Saturday night sleeping in a cage. I'm nervous! And excited! And single!
And I will send you some pictures as a thank-you!
Second Time Bondage Experience Will Hopefully Go Much Better
4
That is an awesome story, with what sounds like a fairy-tale ending to me.
And they all lived happily ever after, milking machine and all.
And they all lived happily ever after, milking machine and all.
5
Incidentally, STBEWHGMB, if I ever have the chance to call you a whore, please take it as the compliment that it is meant to be!
6
Wait... He wasn't even naked the first time? Man his ex-boyfriend was a total dick then. He should be thrilled to be rid of him.
7
Am I the only one who thinks this little novice might be "biting off more than he can chew?"
A whole weekend? I hope it goes well for the guy.
A whole weekend? I hope it goes well for the guy.
12
A fucking milking machine?? Will someone please explain or post a pic of one of these things?? Hilarious. People do the craziest shit behind closed doors.
13
This letter is also a nice breakup 'fuck you' to the asshole ex. No doubt about it - he is going to see this or hear about it. He'll know that, even though almost nobody who reads SLOG knows who he is except the people involved, all of us think he is a controlling, manipulative asshole.
15
Now we just need an update on the dude who was fucking his ex-girlfriend and also her ex-boyfriend and some other people, and maybe both of them together(?), but they didn't know he was screwing them separately--good FSM, it's all gotten so hazy.
16
Good for you. Your ex was an asshole. Have fun getting milked and sleeping in a cage.
I can't believe I just wrote that.
I can't believe I just wrote that.
17
Dan should also post those pictures he receives as a thank you -- a thank you to us, his faithful readers who almost universally agreed with him.
18
I'm glad to hear the update. It's good to know he is "safe". Those DV alarms were going off with the first letter.
Then, maybe I have them on the brain. Just finished moving a woman to a safe house. Few hours to make it look like she was never there. Scary. Now, I'm hot, sweaty, dirty, with a bruised up face (stupid cupboard slipped in the rain and my face caught it). I'm heading to the shower ....
Then, maybe I have them on the brain. Just finished moving a woman to a safe house. Few hours to make it look like she was never there. Scary. Now, I'm hot, sweaty, dirty, with a bruised up face (stupid cupboard slipped in the rain and my face caught it). I'm heading to the shower ....
20
And this letter will help convict the upstate New York dom when the young letter writer is found converted to hamburger in a couple weeks' time.
Milking machine. YUCK!
Milking machine. YUCK!
21
@15 No, we do NOT need an update on that clusterfuck! My head almost stopped spinning until you brought it up again. Thanks.
24
@18 kim, you are awesome...... you continually renew my faith in humanity (especially christians!) on these forums.
27
And Kim is awesome too. I've known a few women who helped out at DV shelters and it's not work for the weak of heart.
32
He needs to send a pic of his asshole ex to post on SLOG, don't you think? Kind of like a mugshot.
33
Like @7, I'm a worrier. Still, if the guy had a big party at his dungeon he is probably well known and a "pro" and will take it easy on this newby. I want another update so I know he's OK and still happy. We've got a modern little soap opera going on here!
36
LW (your acronym is too long), please make sure that either (a) the cage is not locked, or (b) someone will be supervising. Fires & floods happen. Safewords only work if someone (decent) is around to hear them. And, as always with going over to a stranger's house; make sure that your host knows that someone you know knows where you are...
Have fun!
Have fun!
37
@34 lolz. there's more kinky straight sex out there than kinky gay sex.... gays are just more comfortable talking about it because, hey, they're already gay.
seriously... googleimage "bondage" and it will be 98% straight folk.
seriously... googleimage "bondage" and it will be 98% straight folk.
42
Serious side note: from what my farmboy friends tell me, automatic milking machines are usually set for a gallon and don't drop off till then.
43
#39 "you don't have to delete this detail"
I found it odd that he credited you for the breakup, and not his original letter (with enough detail that the other guy was able to recognize) or the other guy himself for calling up his ex.
Also: milking machine sounds remotely dangerous.
I found it odd that he credited you for the breakup, and not his original letter (with enough detail that the other guy was able to recognize) or the other guy himself for calling up his ex.
Also: milking machine sounds remotely dangerous.
44
It is always good to hear about things that turn out good. Too much emphasis is placed on bad news these days.
I just hope our young stud keeps his head about him in his new adventures, but he is still very young, dumb amd full of cum.
I just hope our young stud keeps his head about him in his new adventures, but he is still very young, dumb amd full of cum.
45
Heck, gay guys in Upstate New York /without/ dungeons read you on the Stranger site + the SLOG [kept getting links to "more content" on The Stranger when I read the column in the Village Voice, so, stuck around!]
Anyway I love the hopeful, exuberant note this letter leaves on!
Anyway I love the hopeful, exuberant note this letter leaves on!
49
I'm not really physically attracted to him....
I so worry about that when a young thing comes to my house to be tied up!
I so worry about that when a young thing comes to my house to be tied up!
50
@34/35- Totally and absolutely untrue. I'm sorry you're so sheltered. You're on the internet a lot, why not do some research instead of trolling?
52
It may just be that I've had my brain infected by listening to too many Savage Lovecasts, or watching A Dirty Shame too often, but that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard (at least, since those kids on Episode 29 who phoned in to update us about their "mutually fulfilling, kinky, teenage deflowering", or Episode 136 where the cute gay kid on the swim team). It warms the cockles of my heart, it really does.
That's right: cockles.
That's right: cockles.
54
Yay!! This really brought a smile to my face--nice to know there are happy BDSM endings out there for the experimental newbies. Who'd have ever thought milking machines could be heartwarming?
And @51: I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he sounded incredibly cute! I'm jumping on the pictures bandwagon as well--please let us see them!
And @51: I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he sounded incredibly cute! I'm jumping on the pictures bandwagon as well--please let us see them!
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