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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Do Guys Make Passes At Girls Who Wear...

Posted by on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 at 12:55 PM

vulvasssss.jpg
..."one of a kind hand sculpted" replicas of their own vulvas on chains around their necks? Do girls? (Thanks to Slog tipper NaFun.)

 

Comments (70) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
kitschnsync 1
Navel gazing has sunken to another level.
Posted by kitschnsync on November 10, 2009 at 12:58 PM
2
I sure as fuck would
Posted by truth in advertising on November 10, 2009 at 1:00 PM
mr. herriman 3
oh dear god. and yoni? wtf?
Posted by mr. herriman on November 10, 2009 at 1:01 PM
4
Yeah, uh, no thanks.
Posted by jtwankerschmidt on November 10, 2009 at 1:06 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 5
That's some pretty fuckin' bizarre shit there.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on November 10, 2009 at 1:06 PM
Shelby 6
Uh.. is that what they look like? REALLY?
Posted by Shelby on November 10, 2009 at 1:07 PM
7
fags should wear photos of their bleached assholes around their necks as well
Posted by because the ghey is funnah on November 10, 2009 at 1:08 PM
Fnarf 8
the use of the word "yoni" outside of the context of Hinduism or archaeology is sufficient to make a girl undateable.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 10, 2009 at 1:09 PM
9
Sorry to dp, but I wish I could unsee this.
Posted by jtwankerschmidt on November 10, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Mary P. Traverse 10
My boyfriend screeched in horror like a little girl when I jokingly threatened to get him one for Christmas. Why, internets, WHY?
Posted by Mary P. Traverse http://mptsketchbook.blogspot.com on November 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM
11
It has never come up.

Do women make passes at guys with penis casts on pendants around their necks?
Posted by Reg on November 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM
givesgoodemail 12
I don't think this item's floating anywhere near the top of my what-to-get-my-fiance-for-Christmas list.
Posted by givesgoodemail http://www.givesgoodemail.com on November 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM
seandr 13
If a girl has enough chutzpah and humor to wear a replica of her twat, I'd make a pass at her (at least hypothetically, since I'm kinda shy.)

There is a practical side to these as well - they would be great for demonstrating exactly where and how a gal likes to be touched.
Posted by seandr on November 10, 2009 at 1:14 PM
kitschnsync 14
@11, Not too many guys wear necklaces. Maybe lapel pins modeled on their prong? Lifelike testicle cufflinks?
Posted by kitschnsync on November 10, 2009 at 1:24 PM
15
@11 they're called TruckNutz
Posted by Frank N. Christ on November 10, 2009 at 1:30 PM
Mahtli69 16
Not if said vulva hangs like sleeve of wizard's robe.

(apologies to Borat)
Posted by Mahtli69 on November 10, 2009 at 1:40 PM
Fnarf 17
@11, I believe you misspelled "lingam".
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 10, 2009 at 1:40 PM
18
@15, I am going to make a fortune selling custom made TruckNutz which are replicas of mens' actual nutsacks.
Posted by Reg on November 10, 2009 at 1:43 PM
19
The one in the middle sort of looks like the virgin Mary. If it magically starts to weep blood, will the church declare it a miracle?
Posted by carrma on November 10, 2009 at 1:48 PM
20
@17, celebrate the unique beauty of your lingam by wearing a custom made pendant featuring a 1.5X scale replica of your lingam on our elegant white gold chains.
Posted by Reg on November 10, 2009 at 1:54 PM
Badger 21
There's a reason they call those parts "your privates".
Posted by Badger on November 10, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Fistique 22
Why would such a woman want passes from guys?
Posted by Fistique on November 10, 2009 at 1:58 PM
23
@10,

Great stocking stuffer!

I guess it is a way to get a gander at the merchandise before putting in the effort to get the girl in bed.
Posted by keshmeshi on November 10, 2009 at 1:58 PM
FreudianShrimp 24
New at Hooters restaurants: Buffalo vulvas.
Posted by FreudianShrimp on November 10, 2009 at 2:08 PM
Fnarf 25
@18, better promise molds will be taken on a warm day.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 10, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Vince 26
They need a button you push to make them talk. They could say things like "Pick up your clothes" and "Why do you piss all over the toilet?"
Posted by Vince on November 10, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Allyn 27
It's not so much for the guys; rather, it's a lovely piece of art one can pass down to her heirs.
Posted by Allyn on November 10, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Geni 28
@27, if I found out my mother was willing me a necklace modeled on her vulva, I'd have her put in a home now.
Posted by Geni on November 10, 2009 at 2:34 PM
29
Hmmm...looks like the middle one's been hittin' the weight room a bit too much...
Posted by Feelin the burn on November 10, 2009 at 2:40 PM
Allyn 30
@28 I think it would be more a gift from the grave to the children who never called...

In fact, I'm thinking of having one made and threatening my kids with it: "If you don't clean your room right now, I'm going to will the VUVLA to you!!" "If you ever drive drunk, you're getting the VULVA when I die!"

God, I hope my grandmother never sees this site, she'd probably have one made of her for everyone in the family.
Posted by Allyn on November 10, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Dee 31
I like that the examples given don't look like pornstar/fleshlight pussies. It really fucks with your head to have labia minora that are actually prominent when all the vags you see in porn have little teensy tiny ridges instead.

Admittedly, if you're taking your body image ideals from porn, your labia will probably be one in a long list of things you're self-conscious about. But hey, we don't all get to see a lot of naked women IRL. =\
Posted by Dee on November 10, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Irena 32
She also sells something called Blueberry Love Muffin Vegan Lip Balm, but the pic on the front is yet another shaved twat. Hypocrite!

http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php…
Posted by Irena on November 10, 2009 at 3:18 PM
Confluence 33
Oh dear lord, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Posted by Confluence on November 10, 2009 at 3:24 PM
34
A girl who would wear one these fucks, so that is a pretty good reason to make a pass. She is also bizarrely uninhibited, which is another good reason to make a pass, but might pose trouble in the long term. So, do I want to go home with a girl like this? Yes. Is she long term relationship material? Probably not, but we can discuss that after a few weeks of wild monkey sex. In the meantime, keep taking that lithium.
Posted by Learned Hand on November 10, 2009 at 3:41 PM
35
@ 26 - It's funny, because women nag!
@ 33 - Yikes dude, be cool. It's a body part. You came out of one.
Posted by barfy cute on November 10, 2009 at 4:07 PM
36
Dear god those are revolting.
Posted by nezus on November 10, 2009 at 4:14 PM
37
Can't say as I find them particularly appealing (and I don't really make passes in general, so can't answer Dan's question), but definitely gotta give major props to any women gutsy enough to wear them.
Posted by Reverend Tap on November 10, 2009 at 4:16 PM
38
@35
yes I came out of one. I also have one. I love to play with it. I love my boyfriend to play with it, suck on it, fuck it, etc. But I still think those pendants look revolting. Funny double standard maybe, but perhaps I'm just not used to looking at them from that angle.
Posted by nezus on November 10, 2009 at 4:18 PM
OutInBumF 39
@26 Steals this post.
Score!! Brings new light to the term pussy whipped.
Posted by OutInBumF on November 10, 2009 at 4:50 PM
40
I knew this guy in High School who insisted on being called "Yoni."

He was a trifle odd.
Posted by dwight moody on November 10, 2009 at 4:52 PM
Timmytee 41
Am I the ONLY ONE HERE who thinks these are BEAUTIFUL? Like most jewelry, there's an appropriate time and place to wear them.
Posted by Timmytee on November 10, 2009 at 5:06 PM
Carollani 42
I'm a fan of vulvas, but... no. Not a fan of those.
Posted by Carollani http://twitter.com/carollani on November 10, 2009 at 5:12 PM
emma's bee 43
@8: how about in the context of Tom Robbins? If, say, she was the Yoni Yum Feminine Hygiene Dew girl...
Posted by emma's bee on November 10, 2009 at 5:33 PM
44
I think they're unbelievably pretty -- but you'd have to be insane to buy/wear one in public.

For the life of me, I'm having a very difficult time imagining any public occasion on which this could be worn, outside a lesbian cruise ship (a lesbian cruise which didn't include the couple's children, ideally.)
Posted by judybrowni on November 10, 2009 at 5:42 PM
45
It's not the vulva that's beautiful so much as the person it's attached to ...

I like pussy just as much as the next straight man ...

but at the end of the day, genitalia, male and female, is just WEIRD. I enjoy it's function more than anything. Call me old fashion, but it's a woman's figure and shape that does it for me ... and hopefully there won't be any shemale surprises ...
Posted by former tri-state on November 10, 2009 at 5:42 PM
46
Hey, if you check out the rest of her shop some of her stuff is pretty cool! I really want the vagina dentata pillow now.
Posted by kittens on November 10, 2009 at 5:50 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 47
I don't know about a necklace, but a painted depiction on a tshirt? I'd wear the fuck out of that bidness.

And, @8 FTW.
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on November 10, 2009 at 6:27 PM
Lavode 48
Wow, that's hideous. But the comments have had me laughing more than any other SLOG post, so thanks for making my day!
Posted by Lavode on November 10, 2009 at 6:32 PM
49
Wow....um, yeah. I honestly think they're beautiful pieces of art, and really well done, but...I just can't see myself walking around in public with my vagina around my neck. I mean, I'm not ashamed of being a woman or anything, but I think wearing my cooter in plain view is almost as bad as walking around naked in public places.

They are beautifully made, though.
Posted by Ems on November 10, 2009 at 6:43 PM
JunieGirl 50
Maybe it's for women who plan to have kids..you know, proof that it used to be high-and-tight.

The one on the bottom left actually kinda looks like a flower. From a distance, that's probably what people would think you were wearing. It'd be priceless if you could make it shoot water!
Posted by JunieGirl on November 10, 2009 at 6:54 PM
51
Of course, as part of dinner conversation during the date, one can point to your jewelry and say ..

there, THERE is the clitoris. Any questions?

And then follow up by showing the proper motions and placement to do that job. Preference for direct clit, or hood on clit stimulation, etc. etc.
Posted by former tri-state on November 10, 2009 at 6:55 PM
52
really interesting concept... but not something I'd wear around my neck. More like.. something that would make cool photographs or interesting art pieces in a gallery.. but this? blech!
Posted by hlr on November 10, 2009 at 7:37 PM
53
It's very O'Keefe, without the bleach skulls of cattle.

I particularly like that they're all shaved
Posted by catballou on November 10, 2009 at 8:12 PM
Dee 54
My kingdom to see the comments from the parallel universe where this post was about personalized penis jewelry. How much would the comments have differed? I guess we'll never know.
Posted by Dee on November 10, 2009 at 8:20 PM
attitude devant 55
Oh Dee! I am so glad you registered -- I've been giggling at your comments. Love the Magritte avatar, BTW
Posted by attitude devant on November 10, 2009 at 9:16 PM
NumberOne 56
My personal favourite is the Frida Kahlo Uterus Plushie.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?lis…
Posted by NumberOne on November 10, 2009 at 10:22 PM
57
I think they are rather pretty, like flowers. I am somewhat shy so I would not wear one, but I would admire someone who wore one under the right party circumstances.
Posted by jazzyjane on November 10, 2009 at 10:24 PM
58
Echoing the not so practical comments here, but..... If a woman had the guts to wear one, it would make me so curious that I would have to talk to her about it. Just no so sure that it would be socially acceptable at work?
Posted by stormblade on November 11, 2009 at 2:42 AM
Dee 59
@attitude devant - thanks! I'm flattered to have been noticed (and in a positive way, too - wow!).
Posted by Dee on November 11, 2009 at 10:02 AM
The Magic Lemur 60
Hey, nothing screams 'I NEED ATTENTION" like a tiny copy of one's own vagina dangling from her neck.
Posted by The Magic Lemur on November 11, 2009 at 6:05 PM
The Magic Lemur 61
Hey, nothing screams 'I NEED ATTENTION" like a tiny copy of one's own vagina dangling from one's neck.
Posted by The Magic Lemur on November 11, 2009 at 6:05 PM
The Magic Lemur 62
ack - sorry for double post
Posted by The Magic Lemur on November 11, 2009 at 6:06 PM
this guy I know in Spokane 63
24 made me LOL. I was never going to go to Hooters, but I'm never going even more now.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on November 11, 2009 at 7:21 PM
erin 64
regretsy defined (www.regretsy.com)
Posted by erin on November 11, 2009 at 10:03 PM
65
If I were walking down the street and ran into an old friend, and she had her vulva displayed around her neck, I think I would be fairly appalled, especially now that I know it would be HER vulva and not just some generic artist's rendition of a vulva (extreme rendition, anyone?). Talk about TMI!

That said, I wonder if the artist would be willing to re-sell replicas? If a person got tired of collecting stamps or coins, could they just email Ms Vulva Sculptor and have her recreate her past masterpieces? How serial-killer, to collect random strangers' vulvas, in miniature form. Like shrunken heads, only more vulgar. I feel like Buffalo Bill just for thinking of it.
Posted by charlie on November 12, 2009 at 7:03 AM
treacle 66
Those are unequivocally awesome! And yes, I think having a accurate representation lingam necklace would be fantastic too. I wonder if the artist would be willing to branch out? We men need new ways to celebrate our sexual power too, y'know. Happy Heteroween and all that Dan said.
Posted by treacle on November 12, 2009 at 10:20 AM
treacle 67
@47"but a painted depiction on a tshirt? I'd wear the fuck out of that bidness."

There's a sci-fi story --by John Shirley, I think-- where people wear "X-shirts" when they want to hook up for sex.. and X-shirt, is of course, a t-shirt with a depiction of their own genitals on them. Cuts through the signal-to-noise problem of post-post-modern sexual negotiations.
Posted by treacle on November 12, 2009 at 10:30 AM
RangeWarrior 68
OMG!!! I can never "UNSEE" that!!! MY EYES, MY EYES, IT BURNS!!

Posted by RangeWarrior on November 12, 2009 at 12:59 PM
Lissa 69
Oh I LOVE me some Regretsy! Seriously I need the fetus cat nip toy. Do you hear me?! NEEEEEEED the Fetus Cat Nip TOY!!111!!
Posted by Lissa on November 13, 2009 at 11:48 AM
thefuckler 70
It depends on what the rest of her looks like.
Posted by thefuckler on November 13, 2009 at 4:07 PM

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