Find Your Valentine
Slog
News & ArtsMonday, November 9, 2009
News Nicholas Francisco Has Been Found
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Nov 9, 2009 at 2:12 PM
A SeaTac man whose sudden disappearance last year sparked a law-enforcement search and widespread Internet speculation, is "alive and well" and living in another state under a new name, according to the King County Sheriff's Office. The Sheriff's Office wouldn't reveal which state Nicholas Francisco had moved to, but said he had legally changed his name to avoid being tracked down.Francisco, whose wife was expecting their third child, was last seen leaving his job at a Queen Anne advertising agency for home on Feb. 13, 2008. His car, a red 1992 Toyota Paseo, was found abandoned a few days later in Federal Way.... His wife, Christine Francisco, initially claimed that her religiously devout husband would never have abandoned the family.
Just got off the phone with Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.... “Since he did nothing illegal and this case is basically closed, we won’t reveal where he was found,” Urquhart said to The B-Town Blog. “But let me tell you—there was something incredibly unique about this guy that made bloggers go crazy. In all my years, I have never seen such a reaction. I’m glad this case is closed.”And yes, the King County Sheriff’s Department has indeed closed their investigation, so we may never know where he lives and why he left so suddenly.
They won't reveal where he was found? Not even to his ex-wife so she can go after him for child-support payments?
If I recall correctly Francisco and his not-in-his-league-looks-wise wife were involved with the 'phobes at Mars Hill. To me this case—this closet case—looked like a guy who couldn't deal with his sexuality married young and had a couple of kid to prove to himself and others that he was straight. A lot of conflicted fags do this. They marry and have kids not just to shoot down any speculation that they might be gay but to close off any possibility of ever coming out. They figure they can solve the problem of their sexuality by essentially trapping themselves in heterosexuality. But at some point someone like Francisco, if this is what went down, decides he can't spend the rest of his life living this lie, living without true intimacy and real pleasure. Building a life with someone you're actually attracted to and capable of loving is difficult enough; faking that shit with someone you're not attracted to and incapable of loving deeply is impossible.
And the real victims, of course, are always the kids. And this is how the religious right wants all gay men to live: stay closeted and go find some woman you can tolerate and stay hard in long enough to impregnate every once in a while. It never ends well.
1
And this is exactly what many of us figured what happened. Too bad Loveschild doesn't do the same. Her kids would be way better off without her bigotry hanging over their lives.
9
The government will pay her child support, now that they know he is alive, and the government will go after him for child support.
10
We don't know that the Sheriff's office hasn't given the (ex)wife contact information. From the article: Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.... “Since he did nothing illegal ...we won’t reveal where he was found,” . Avoiding child support is illegal. If the (ex)wife doesn't have the info now, getting it won't be a problem, merely a legal procedure.
14
It's not that simple... Watch this link to a KIRO interview with his ex-wife from February of this year.
http://www.kirotv.com/news/18712980/deta…
She said that info had been uncovered during the search that proved that Nicholas had been living a double life. However, the journalist doing the interview says in the narration that Nicholas had been running in "steamy sex circles" where he was looking for hook-ups with both men and women. Apparently, he went by the handle "FunTimeSteve". Nice.
http://www.kirotv.com/news/18712980/deta…
She said that info had been uncovered during the search that proved that Nicholas had been living a double life. However, the journalist doing the interview says in the narration that Nicholas had been running in "steamy sex circles" where he was looking for hook-ups with both men and women. Apparently, he went by the handle "FunTimeSteve". Nice.
17
ugh, you have no idea how embarrassing this is. i cannot even express how upset i am about all of this. thanks for the update dan.
18
To me this case—this closet case—looked like a guy who couldn't deal with his sexuality so he married young and had a couple of kids to prove to himself and others that he was straight.
Proof? Where has this been found?
Otherwise Slog should not be exempt from having to observe laws of liability when some editors choose to willfully utter untruths to besmirch the character of individual citizens that are not public figures.
20
And it looks like all this was also revealed on the Christine and Nicholas Francisco need our help! blog on July 6:
We have just heard from Christine that she has recently remarried, to a wonderful man that she met sometime after Nicholas disappeared and after she found out that Nicholas had been living a secret life of which she had been completely unaware until after his disappearance (and unfortunately, his whereabouts are still unknown). All three children are happy and secure. She is grateful for all the prayers and support that she’s received over the past year and a half.
21
Here's how Loveschild's mind works: he's hot, so she's imagining herself in a sexual relationship with him, which confuses and frightens her, but makes her defend him to the bitter end. Loveschild would still be saying "proof?" if she was standing there in the room while he was sucking a dozen cocks.
I'm confused, too -- by the "nothing illegal" part. Did he not have a mortgage with his wife? Joint credit cards? Child support's a given, but there are all sorts of legal and financial entanglements these days.
I'm confused, too -- by the "nothing illegal" part. Did he not have a mortgage with his wife? Joint credit cards? Child support's a given, but there are all sorts of legal and financial entanglements these days.
22
I always figured he'd run off to get away from his wife and kids and get someone else to fuck him, but I figured it was another woman.
24
@21 Not to mention the expense of searching for him. A manhunt combing the Green River can't come cheap... but I suppose since he didn't blatantly fake his death, he can get off the hook for that.
25
@ 18 - LC, Dan is just speculating, it's just his...um...confrontational manner that makes sound like a definitive statement.
It's utterly amazing what closeted gay folks will do, and the amount of energy they will expend, on a daily basis, to keep their secret. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if Dan was right on the money here.
It's utterly amazing what closeted gay folks will do, and the amount of energy they will expend, on a daily basis, to keep their secret. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if Dan was right on the money here.
26
Dan, what's with this "not-in-his-league-looks-wise" shit? Are you fuckin' kidding me? She looks great. He, on the other hand, is VERY meh!
27
@18, You've betrayed how little you understand media and defamation law. A statement that someone is a homosexual or implying that one is gay is not defamation per se.
In a recent decision by Southern District of New York Judge Denny Chin (Stern v. Cosby, 07 Civ. 8536), he ruled that Anna Nicole Smith's husband, Howard K. Stern, lost against the author of "Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death" when he tried to sue her for defamation for implying that he's gay.
Judge Chin said that "...in 2009, the 'current of contemporary public opinion' does not support the notion that New Yorkers view gays and lesbians as shameful or odious," citing the movement to legalize gay marriage and a poll showing that gay marriage is favored by 51 percent of New Yorkers and there was a two-thirds majority in favor of civil unions.
"The New York Court of Appeals has not, in its most recent opinion touching on social attitudes toward homosexuality, given any indication that it perceives widespread disapproval of homosexuality in New York."
Basically, being a cocksucker is no longer a hiss and a byword.
In a recent decision by Southern District of New York Judge Denny Chin (Stern v. Cosby, 07 Civ. 8536), he ruled that Anna Nicole Smith's husband, Howard K. Stern, lost against the author of "Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death" when he tried to sue her for defamation for implying that he's gay.
Judge Chin said that "...in 2009, the 'current of contemporary public opinion' does not support the notion that New Yorkers view gays and lesbians as shameful or odious," citing the movement to legalize gay marriage and a poll showing that gay marriage is favored by 51 percent of New Yorkers and there was a two-thirds majority in favor of civil unions.
"The New York Court of Appeals has not, in its most recent opinion touching on social attitudes toward homosexuality, given any indication that it perceives widespread disapproval of homosexuality in New York."
Basically, being a cocksucker is no longer a hiss and a byword.
29
Yeah, sorry, that's not cool. That stuff is totally subjective and regardless of who's supposedly at fault or who isn't or what the real situation is, it's cruel to denigrate this woman's looks.
30
@ 21 He's not the type of man i'm attracted to, so you have no basis there. Needless to say that i'm married..so
Unless he states that he identifies himself as engaging in homosexual behavior or his wife states it then i don't think that what Savage is doing here is something legal.
However, having said that i also think that what he has done needs to be looked at carefully because if he has changed his named and was living under the disguise of being another person then he couldn't have been paying child support and that is illegal no matter what his current views on life are now.
Unless he states that he identifies himself as engaging in homosexual behavior or his wife states it then i don't think that what Savage is doing here is something legal.
However, having said that i also think that what he has done needs to be looked at carefully because if he has changed his named and was living under the disguise of being another person then he couldn't have been paying child support and that is illegal no matter what his current views on life are now.
31
Love the notion that the guy can just up and run away from his wife and kids, but when you have the gall to suggest he's gay, you "besmirch" his "character". At this point, you're doing the guy a favor by thinking he's gay.
33
When I was checking out this case online, some blog post mentioned that he had apparently hooked up with some guy here in Seattle. They gave the guy's name, but I'll refrain from doing so here.
Later, as god is my witness, I also hooked up with that same guy...when he told me his name I quietly freaked cuz I thought maybe the dude had been killed and I was with a murderer.
I shoulda known...
Later, as god is my witness, I also hooked up with that same guy...when he told me his name I quietly freaked cuz I thought maybe the dude had been killed and I was with a murderer.
I shoulda known...
35
Note to Loveschild: Liability is a form of the word libel. Your ignorance is now both grammatically and personally repugnant.
38
She's better looking than you, Dan.
Seriously: not cool to bash her for her looks. I thought you were above that.
Seriously: not cool to bash her for her looks. I thought you were above that.
39
When you legally change your name isn't there a record of your old name put into "the system"? Why wasn't he found that way? Or maybe he was?
40
http://www.cherigriffiths.com/phpbb3/php…
http://boards.insessiontrials.com/showth…
Read the posts there. It's pretty clear he was a closet case that had recently quit the Mars Hill Church, was soliciting sex online with men and women and is now living in San Diego. It's also pretty clear that Christine has been lying about what she knew from the very beginning.
http://boards.insessiontrials.com/showth…
Read the posts there. It's pretty clear he was a closet case that had recently quit the Mars Hill Church, was soliciting sex online with men and women and is now living in San Diego. It's also pretty clear that Christine has been lying about what she knew from the very beginning.
41
26
29
38
Please forgive Dan's shallowness.
If it weren't for his shallow superficiality he'd have no personality at all...
29
38
Please forgive Dan's shallowness.
If it weren't for his shallow superficiality he'd have no personality at all...
42
37
the internet is a big place.
you sure it's where you want to hold the 'coming out' party for your IGNORANCE?
the internet is a big place.
you sure it's where you want to hold the 'coming out' party for your IGNORANCE?
44
Sorry, gang, but looks come into play here. Lots of the closet cases who play the get-married-and-hide-forever game marry/prey on women who are not their equals in the looks department. It gives them an advantage, more leverage and more power, than they might have otherwise. So it's sadly relevant.
45
Dan, you seriously think that he is way more attractive than the wife? "Not-in-his-league" doesn't seem to apply here. You're weirding me out.
46
See! Sheriff's right: Bloggers do love this guy!
(btw, just cuz they didn't tell the press his whereabouts doesn't mean they didn't tell his (ex)wife, fyi)
(btw, just cuz they didn't tell the press his whereabouts doesn't mean they didn't tell his (ex)wife, fyi)
47
I doubt this fuckface is even capable of "true intimacy" --with a woman *or* a man. You don't EVER treat another human being the way he treated his wife/kids and he apparently did it all quite easily. As long as his future boyfriends just expect cock, they'll be fine, but "true intimacy"? This motherfucker ain't capable.
49
Sadly relevant to certain especially better-looking than I boyfriends. too. It's not easy to have that power and use it only for good, I guess. I feel a certain mutt solidarity here.
50
Alright I confess, it's me. I changed my name to Sally Sue Brownback and I now live in a double wide outside of Yelm. (Ramtha is my best girl friend). I ran away from my wife and kids because I could not stand her constant nagging and of course the fact that I look prettier. NO I'm not Gay. That's just a rumor. I see Pastor Haggard every week just to let everyone know Gheezuz is still in my life.
51
@45
Yeah, I agree - they both seem about the same level of attractiveness to me. Dan's clearly blinded by his attraction to this total fuckface. Dude is bland at best though - jesus.
Yeah, I agree - they both seem about the same level of attractiveness to me. Dan's clearly blinded by his attraction to this total fuckface. Dude is bland at best though - jesus.
52
In my experience, most gay men are very good at correctly and reasonably assessing a woman's attractiveness, even though they don't swing that way. But, then, most of them are also capable of dressing themselves, something that's infamously beyond Dan's abilities.
53
@52: keep that up, kesh, and somebody might accuse you of having a sense of humor.
At the end of the day, Dan just has the hots for this guy cuz he reminds him of totes hot Cunanan.
At the end of the day, Dan just has the hots for this guy cuz he reminds him of totes hot Cunanan.
54
KIRO has what looks like a current driver license picture. Perhaps Dan is into the emotionless potential killer look?
http://www.kirotv.com/news/21564478/deta…
http://www.kirotv.com/news/21564478/deta…
56
at 40 i said San Diego but in this post:
http://boards.insessiontrials.com/showpo…
a woman claiming to be Christine Carter says he's in Los Angeles.
http://boards.insessiontrials.com/showpo…
a woman claiming to be Christine Carter says he's in Los Angeles.
57
Random fact of the day...
It's been 9 years (!) since Hot or Not launched. From wiki:
"The site was founded in October 2000 by James Hong and Jim Young, two friends and Silicon Valley-based engineers. Both graduated from UC Berkeley in electrical engineering, with Young pursuing a Ph.D at the time. The site was a technical solution to a disagreement they made one day over a passing woman's attractiveness. The site was originally called "Am I Hot or Not". Within a week of launching, it had reached almost two million page views per day. ... the founders of YouTube stated that they originally set out to make a version of Hot or Not with Video before developing their more inclusive site. ... Hot or Not was sold for a rumored $20 million on February 8, 2008. Annual revenue was estimated at $5 million, with net profits of $2 million."
It's been 9 years (!) since Hot or Not launched. From wiki:
"The site was founded in October 2000 by James Hong and Jim Young, two friends and Silicon Valley-based engineers. Both graduated from UC Berkeley in electrical engineering, with Young pursuing a Ph.D at the time. The site was a technical solution to a disagreement they made one day over a passing woman's attractiveness. The site was originally called "Am I Hot or Not". Within a week of launching, it had reached almost two million page views per day. ... the founders of YouTube stated that they originally set out to make a version of Hot or Not with Video before developing their more inclusive site. ... Hot or Not was sold for a rumored $20 million on February 8, 2008. Annual revenue was estimated at $5 million, with net profits of $2 million."
58
lots of crazy speculation about a marriage no one knows about...and also sort of sexist. If a woman flees a marriage, that's ok because it's assumed the husband was doing something horrible so that she had to leave. If a man flees a marriage, he's also screwed because he's running away from his responsibilities, (when, in reality, maybe he's getting away from a horrible wife). I'm not saying that this is the case here, (and hopefully not, because if SHE was the monster, then he left his kids behind in her care which would make him equally monstrous), but still...
In his case, maybe he was running away from the Mars Hill lifestyle.
In his case, maybe he was running away from the Mars Hill lifestyle.
60
The wife is plenty cute - easily as attractive as the jerk who abandoned his kids. Take a look here, in a interview one year after the jerk took off.
http://www.kirotv.com/news/18712980/deta…
In the pictures immediately after the disappearance she's PREGNANT, is raising tiny children by herself, and most likely has been crying for days/weeks. Perhaps you might lay off her, Dan (the bitchy queen) Savage, for not looking her best at that time.
http://www.kirotv.com/news/18712980/deta…
In the pictures immediately after the disappearance she's PREGNANT, is raising tiny children by herself, and most likely has been crying for days/weeks. Perhaps you might lay off her, Dan (the bitchy queen) Savage, for not looking her best at that time.
61
@58,
That happened to my stepmother. Her first husband pulled the going out for cigarettes trick. Although she really was an abusive, controlling terror.
However, in Francisco's case, it's still a hugely douchey move to change his name to avoid child support etc.
That happened to my stepmother. Her first husband pulled the going out for cigarettes trick. Although she really was an abusive, controlling terror.
However, in Francisco's case, it's still a hugely douchey move to change his name to avoid child support etc.
62
oh, yeah...avoiding child support is scummier than scummy.
Dear Deadbeat Dads, if you don't want to pay for your kids, then don't have any...wear a fuckin' condom or get your nuts tied off.
Dear Deadbeat Dads, if you don't want to pay for your kids, then don't have any...wear a fuckin' condom or get your nuts tied off.
64
After watching the video interview with the wife that @14 posted, I propose a different theory: He left because she's so annoying. You don't need to be living a lie to want to run away from that.
I'm not saying it's noble. I'm just saying I get it.
I'm not saying it's noble. I'm just saying I get it.
67
I don't get how a bi guy and a woman would attend Mars Hill repeatedly. Are there really people who go to church for the purpose of being devalued and demeaned and coughing up some money so the pulpiteers can continue devaluing and demeaning people on a weekly basis? There are more affirming places of worship out there...
69
Please always use the full name: "Mars Hill REDNECK Church." It rolls off the tongue pretty nicely after a couple of tries.
Those asshats like to pose as being cool and urban. Bullshit! Mark Driphole is a redneck spouting redneck ideals, and his followers should be ridiculed for it continuously. If we got a hearty amount of "spreading Santorum" disrespect going, maybe a few people would think twice before joining those shitheads.
Those asshats like to pose as being cool and urban. Bullshit! Mark Driphole is a redneck spouting redneck ideals, and his followers should be ridiculed for it continuously. If we got a hearty amount of "spreading Santorum" disrespect going, maybe a few people would think twice before joining those shitheads.
70
If these rumors turn out to be true, this is what has been shattered:
http://www.foxnews.com/images/345850/4_6…
Is it worth it? to discard such a beautiful family, such precious sons just to indulge in carnal behavior that will led to nothing in the end?
I also join those few here who hold these poor kids (caught in the middle of what seems to be the wrong decision made by this man) in their prayers, seems they may need them.
The disruption of the family amidst all sexual permissions is obvious now, for all to see, including those that deny it, now more than ever.
http://www.foxnews.com/images/345850/4_6…
Is it worth it? to discard such a beautiful family, such precious sons just to indulge in carnal behavior that will led to nothing in the end?
I also join those few here who hold these poor kids (caught in the middle of what seems to be the wrong decision made by this man) in their prayers, seems they may need them.
The disruption of the family amidst all sexual permissions is obvious now, for all to see, including those that deny it, now more than ever.
71
No. The destruction of one particular family has to do with one man's bad decisions. It doesn't speak to the universal family at all. What does speak to the universal family is people like Loveschild who are so dishonest about human sexuality. The selfish 'let's pretend' attitude of people like you drives people to live contrary to their nature. That's what's dragging down 'the family'. You should be ashamed of yourself.
72
@65 nails the clues down well. Way too much about the attendant facts screams this as a disproportionate possibility.
While other possibilities are also valid, this makings of this one — and even the way his wife sounded (this one came as a gut feeling as I watched the linked KIRO interview) — reminded me of my mom when someone in my extended family came out as transsexual years ago. She was on the war path and out for blood, while my dad was all, "You seriously need to lay the fuck off, because it isn't about you."
This Francisco story needs an investigative throwdown worthy of a newspaper staff if you're really serious about deducing what Nicholas's motive was.
Dan, the problem with being editor of your own news rag — in jest as the city's only rag or not — is the conflict of interest between plying your trade as a newsman and your own ad hominem outbursts that relegate your paper to the obsolete party organ model that newspapers once served before the days of advertising and necessity for revenue generation. We're talking the 1890s and prior to.
I'm not sure whether what you said in the OP was libellous or not, and it's not really the point. The point is that you, as the paper's editor, went out on a limb in a Slog post with little substantive material to support your case, and instead of sounding like you're the wise man of the paper with a halfway cogent editorial piece, you end up sounding as unprepared and petulant as the hotheads who start their own blogs on Blogspot to mouth off about the president, push their zealotry of whatever variety, or yarn off their conspiracy theories.
It's not very becoming, nor is it very sexy.
While other possibilities are also valid, this makings of this one — and even the way his wife sounded (this one came as a gut feeling as I watched the linked KIRO interview) — reminded me of my mom when someone in my extended family came out as transsexual years ago. She was on the war path and out for blood, while my dad was all, "You seriously need to lay the fuck off, because it isn't about you."
This Francisco story needs an investigative throwdown worthy of a newspaper staff if you're really serious about deducing what Nicholas's motive was.
Dan, the problem with being editor of your own news rag — in jest as the city's only rag or not — is the conflict of interest between plying your trade as a newsman and your own ad hominem outbursts that relegate your paper to the obsolete party organ model that newspapers once served before the days of advertising and necessity for revenue generation. We're talking the 1890s and prior to.
I'm not sure whether what you said in the OP was libellous or not, and it's not really the point. The point is that you, as the paper's editor, went out on a limb in a Slog post with little substantive material to support your case, and instead of sounding like you're the wise man of the paper with a halfway cogent editorial piece, you end up sounding as unprepared and petulant as the hotheads who start their own blogs on Blogspot to mouth off about the president, push their zealotry of whatever variety, or yarn off their conspiracy theories.
It's not very becoming, nor is it very sexy.
73
Good for him. Looks like he may have made a mistake or 3 when he was young, and he was smart enough not to try to live with it for a few decades.
We only get one life. No law says we're bound to live with it. (Apart from the child-support, which I'm sure will and should find its way to his door.)
We only get one life. No law says we're bound to live with it. (Apart from the child-support, which I'm sure will and should find its way to his door.)
74
His wife is normal when it comes to being attractive. He is above normal but looks very gay. The assholes at Mars Hill are probably going to blame this on her for not being the perfect, beautiful wife. How horrible our world is when people look for love from those who hate what they are.
75
@70: If lies are the foundation of a family, no matter how beautiful or precious it may seem, it is doomed from the beginning. The best (or rather, the only legitimate) way to avoid this is for people to be open and honest about what carnal behavior they intend on indulging in, and with whom. And that won't happen as long as large segments of society continue to stigmatize and attack those of orientations other than your preferred one.
76
After watching @14's video, I agree with Free Lunch @64 that the wife played a good part in driving him away.
But I also agree he took a coward's way out. The honorable thing would have been to divorce & give her custody -- and of course to pay requisite alimony/child support.
This is just an extreme case of what happens all the time; i.e., closeted men get married to create a veneer of 'normality' (at least to them). Attractive closeted men like Francisco (I agree with Dan on the looks issue)often play around with men outside of the marriage. I've met a few of those, and their family pictures - which I could link to here - look remarkably similar to the Francisco's.
And also, gotta mention the creepy Mars Hill angle...I've said it before: Mark Driscoll is a closeted queer if there ever was one. His constant railing against 'the homosexual agenda' & his bizarre constant mention of his own 'heterosexuality' just drive this home, in spades. That's right, Mark...we're watching & waiting for your Ted Haggard pay-for-play moment...or will it be a Larry Craig "wide stance" moment? C'mon, don't disappoint us now!
But I also agree he took a coward's way out. The honorable thing would have been to divorce & give her custody -- and of course to pay requisite alimony/child support.
This is just an extreme case of what happens all the time; i.e., closeted men get married to create a veneer of 'normality' (at least to them). Attractive closeted men like Francisco (I agree with Dan on the looks issue)often play around with men outside of the marriage. I've met a few of those, and their family pictures - which I could link to here - look remarkably similar to the Francisco's.
And also, gotta mention the creepy Mars Hill angle...I've said it before: Mark Driscoll is a closeted queer if there ever was one. His constant railing against 'the homosexual agenda' & his bizarre constant mention of his own 'heterosexuality' just drive this home, in spades. That's right, Mark...we're watching & waiting for your Ted Haggard pay-for-play moment...or will it be a Larry Craig "wide stance" moment? C'mon, don't disappoint us now!
78
@ 70: "Is it worth it? to discard such a beautiful family, such precious sons just to indulge in carnal behavior that will led to nothing in the end?"
I'm not sure what you mean by "that will led [sic] to nothing in the end," and who says it's strictly carnal, but YES, it's worth it.
To elaborate: faking your death and abandoning your kids is a shitty move. I'm not exonerating him for that. But if you're suggesting that he should have stayed in the marriage, married to a woman he didn't love, possibly even gay -- what kind of life is that? I don't advocate faking one's death, but I would have highly encouraged him to get a divorce. My parents divorced when I was 14, and as I wrote in an essay when I was 15, it's better to have parents who are happily divorced than parents who are unhappily married.
I'm not sure what you mean by "that will led [sic] to nothing in the end," and who says it's strictly carnal, but YES, it's worth it.
To elaborate: faking your death and abandoning your kids is a shitty move. I'm not exonerating him for that. But if you're suggesting that he should have stayed in the marriage, married to a woman he didn't love, possibly even gay -- what kind of life is that? I don't advocate faking one's death, but I would have highly encouraged him to get a divorce. My parents divorced when I was 14, and as I wrote in an essay when I was 15, it's better to have parents who are happily divorced than parents who are unhappily married.
79
Update: He's had his wages garnished, and even though he tried to claim "hardship", the powers that be threw out his claim and awarded her the money. He's not escaping his financial obligations to their children.
Concerning her: she's bitter, and bitterness makes people come off as annoying and whiny. And all that talk about "his children"... He walked out on them. As far as she should be concerned, he's their sperm donor. They're HER kids, not his (he didn't want them if he was willing to leave them the way he did). Fuck him.
Concerning her: she's bitter, and bitterness makes people come off as annoying and whiny. And all that talk about "his children"... He walked out on them. As far as she should be concerned, he's their sperm donor. They're HER kids, not his (he didn't want them if he was willing to leave them the way he did). Fuck him.
80
@45- Well Dan doesn't want to have sex with her, so she must not be good looking.
I like Dan, but his head's up his ass sometimes. Plus he's got an eating disorder.
I like Dan, but his head's up his ass sometimes. Plus he's got an eating disorder.
82
The wife looks like Lisa Gerritsen (Mary Tyler Moore show, My World and Welcome to It), grown up. Cute.
As to how she found a husband -- determined women can get their boyfriend to marry them. What happens next is anyone's guess. If I had a nickel for every gay person I knew who had been married and reproduced, I'd be able to play the nickel slots.
As to how she found a husband -- determined women can get their boyfriend to marry them. What happens next is anyone's guess. If I had a nickel for every gay person I knew who had been married and reproduced, I'd be able to play the nickel slots.
83
i've never read so many disrespectful comments in my life & probably never will again either unless i come back to scroll through all comments again
84
@79 Thnx for the update....i agree with you completely.
He sounds like a whiner and a hedonist, what he has done to his wife and kids, especially to the kids makes him someone (not deserving of being called a man since he isn't really one) of no consequence. But child support needs to take as much from that deadbeat as they can. Let him live his new 'life' in the under a bridge or in a homeless shelter.
He sounds like a whiner and a hedonist, what he has done to his wife and kids, especially to the kids makes him someone (not deserving of being called a man since he isn't really one) of no consequence. But child support needs to take as much from that deadbeat as they can. Let him live his new 'life' in the under a bridge or in a homeless shelter.
85
"If I recall correctly Francisco and his not-in-his-league-looks-wise wife ..."
People's taste differ, and well Monsieur Savage, you happens to be a cock only type of dude.
Of course you are not going to be attracted to his wcife, you have a boner for this dude and you have just been secretly hoping that he would some how show up in front of your dong and prove to you how he is only gay...
Thing is, there a lot of people who like both sides of the equation - most humans are probably shades of grey in the middle. This guy probably is. Just look at his photos. I know people who are into both men and women pretty much evenly.
Rather than some proof of how being in the closet caused this mess, something more simple may abound: this Francisco dude is a selfish jerk and would rather break his kids hearts to fuck around.
Don't matter what the wife did or how cool or lame she was. Running off like that makes this dude a shit head, not a victim of Christian pressures on closeted men.
Get with the program. It's 2009 - anybody with a half decent heart and two plus kids now has the option of finding enough support to be an honest person and to admit their compatibility challenges and move on with their lives.
Too bad comments like yours above Dan, may be the kind of stuff that keeps The Stranger what it is for now - an on the rocks weekly that desperately is hoping to become a significant online publication.
People's taste differ, and well Monsieur Savage, you happens to be a cock only type of dude.
Of course you are not going to be attracted to his wcife, you have a boner for this dude and you have just been secretly hoping that he would some how show up in front of your dong and prove to you how he is only gay...
Thing is, there a lot of people who like both sides of the equation - most humans are probably shades of grey in the middle. This guy probably is. Just look at his photos. I know people who are into both men and women pretty much evenly.
Rather than some proof of how being in the closet caused this mess, something more simple may abound: this Francisco dude is a selfish jerk and would rather break his kids hearts to fuck around.
Don't matter what the wife did or how cool or lame she was. Running off like that makes this dude a shit head, not a victim of Christian pressures on closeted men.
Get with the program. It's 2009 - anybody with a half decent heart and two plus kids now has the option of finding enough support to be an honest person and to admit their compatibility challenges and move on with their lives.
Too bad comments like yours above Dan, may be the kind of stuff that keeps The Stranger what it is for now - an on the rocks weekly that desperately is hoping to become a significant online publication.
86
@84 'Let him live his new 'life' in the under a bridge or in a homeless shelter.'
Lovechild, you're so Christian aren't you? Baby Jesus is so proud of your cuntishness.
Lovechild, you're so Christian aren't you? Baby Jesus is so proud of your cuntishness.
87
Everyone has the right to pursue happiness as they see fit (within the confines of the law). That being said, your "right" to happiness comes a distant second to your children, once you have them. As a parent, your first priority is to your child. Period. You have to ensure their safety, security, and happiness first. It was incredibly selfish for him to leave his children and wife like that. Divorce is hard on kids, that's a given. Staying with someone you don't love or respect (and using your children as a reason for doing so) will do worse damage to them in the long run. (Someone close to me is a good example of that.) Faking his death like that? That's going to give his daughter abandonment issues for life. Poor kid. I hope she has insurance during her adolescence because she is going to need a LOT of therapy to deal (again, aside from the dad-faking-his-death thing, speaking from experience).
88
However, Dan does have a point. There are a lot of closeted guys who will marry the "less desireable" ladies (in some people's opinions) because these women generally have lower self-esteem and are happy for the attention being paid to them by such an attractive man. It's the same story with abusive men, which is what these closeted men are. They prey on women who they know won't stand up to them. They will put up with being lied to, cheated on, and accused of having the cheating be "their fault."
Fuckers... Closet-cases are a big reason the AIDS epidemic is so wide-spread around the states.
Fuckers... Closet-cases are a big reason the AIDS epidemic is so wide-spread around the states.
89
I attended the Art Institute with both Nicholas and Christine, and I have to say this whole thing surprises me a lot. They were both nice, smart people. Nicholas in particular was very intelligent and courteous, where Christine was a bit hyper/zealous but still really friendly, if naive. They were really young when they married, and who at the age of 18-20 is really prepared for the changes that can occur in your 20s? I'm not excusing anything that Nicholas did, and I think it's dreadful for his poor little kids, but I have a perspective on it that they were practically kids when they met and married. It's pretty shocking that it turned out like this. I feel so bad for his little children, especially the little girl who expected to make cookies with him. Nice work there, Nick! And by the way Dan, you're not exactly what I'd call hot. Christine is much easier on the eyes than you are.
91
@ 84 - Sooooo...Loveschild, it almost - almost - sounds like you're saying that it didn't matter much whether his sexual shenanigans were of the hetero or homo variety, in light of his utterly abominable behavior. (Now, THAT'S what I call an abomination!) Am I correct?
92
"Well, I don't know -- he hasn't sucked MY cock!"
--Tallulah Bankhead, when asked whether she thought Tab Hunter was gay.
--Tallulah Bankhead, when asked whether she thought Tab Hunter was gay.
93
Why don't these so called fags just realize that love is between a man and a woman (even animals know that) and get some help. It is nothing but perversion and if you believe in the Bible, a sin. This guy Francisco was a real pussy who didn't have the balls to be a man and ask for a divorce. Now he wants to wimp out on child support. I hope that "Dog" gets on this and exposes where this wimp is so that the wife can collect what is duly hers! There is nothing lower than a scumbag who brings kids into the world and doesn't do a thing to help with their survival. This guy is going straight to HELL!
Why don't these so called fags just realize that love is between a man and a woman (even animals know that) and get some help. It is nothing but perversion and if you believe in the Bible, a sin. This guy Francisco was a real pussy who didn't have the balls to be a man and ask for a divorce. Now he wants to wimp out on child support. I hope that "Dog" gets on this and exposes where this wimp is so that the wife can collect what is duly hers! There is nothing lower than a scumbag who brings kids into the world and doesn't do a thing to help with their survival. This guy is going straight to HELL!
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Liveblogging the Washington State House Debate and Vote
onIN FAVOR OF GAY MARRIAGE by Eli Sanders -
SL Letter of the Day: Life Sentence by Dan Savage
-
Required Listening: Howard Stern on Ellen, JC Penney, Bullied Gay Kids, Rosie, Santorum, Bachmann, et al by Dan Savage
-
Jeff Bezos' Racist, Pro-Life, Anti-Evolution, Rape-Apologist Search Engine by Goldy
-
SL Letter of the Day: Daddy Loves Who? by Dan Savage
-
Crowdsourcing Uncut Police Video from the Dec. 12 Occupy Protest at the Port of Seattle by Eli Sanders
-
State Legislator Testifies That His Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage Came to Him from a Commercial for Jack in the Box by Christopher Frizzelle
-
"Let me be the first one to say: My business will refuse to participate in a same-sex marriage ceremony," by Republican Representative Matt Shea of the Spokane Valley by Eli Sanders
-
"I don't know if I want to be here [if gay marriage passes]," by Republican State Senator Jay Rodne of North Bend by Eli Sanders
-
"The law at the time required a prosecution." by Dan Savage
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (93) RSS