Fort Hood Shootings: 13 dead, 3128 injured. After all the muddled reports yesterday, it appears that there was one shooter, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, 39, and he was about to be deployed to Afghanistan. He is still alive.
10.2%! Unemployment hits a 26-year high.
Seattle Mourns: The funeral for murdered police officer is today and will stretch from the U District to Key Arena.
Election Results 1: More results came in at 4:30 yesterday, and Mallahan and McGinn are still too close to call.
Election Results 2: But at least R-71 has won.
Republicans "Unveil" "Health Care Plan": Was yesterday's teabagging in the Capitol supposed to be cover? While angry right-wing dickheads were tearing up the Dem's health care bill, the Republicans issued their plan. Unremarkably, their plan sucks.
Murder: After the murder of a homeless man in a transient camp, Seattle police have arrested a suspect.
The Taliban Has More Keys Than a Locksmith: A "key Taliban" town has fallen to Pakistani forces.
America's Goodwill Ambassadors: Wal-Mart wants to open more stores in India.
Will This Fuck Over Joe Lieberman? If So, I'm for It: Ned Lamont considering run for Connecticut governor.
Some Americans Want to Do This, Too: Somali adulterer stoned to death.
Best Fox News Headline Ever: "I'm Tired of Hating President Obama."
And now, to celebrate my last day on Morning News for a while, you have two options for your Morning Looney Tunes. You could watch this Foghorn Leghorn beauty:
Or you could watch "Hillbilly Hare", the hilarious, derogatory-to-Southerners Bugs Bunny cartoon, which is after the jump:
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