Thursday, November 5, 2009
Housekeeping / Books Someone, Weirdly, Wanted to Interview Me
Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Nov 5, 2009 at 3:39 PM
There seems to be a pretty vast gulf between books people think are literature and books people actually read in large quantities. Would you identify this as cause for despair? Something that's always been true? A weird thing Americans do?No, yes and no. I think that's always been the case everywhere around the world. There's nothing wrong with pulp. If literature can't manage to drag a reader away from trashy romance novels, that's certainly not the reader's fault. It's literature's fault.
The thing that has everyone riled up in the comments of the interview, though, is my answer to the question "Wolverine or Batman?" This is clearly the question of our time.
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13
"...you might want to reconsider your self-image, because you're just not that awesome." Can someone help me post this at the entrance gate to the internet?
14
Yes, Superman would mop the floor with all of them. He's a profoundly uninteresting character though. Wolverine, on the other hand, is the best at what he does. But what he does isn't pretty.
15
Batman, hands down.
First of all, the answer to nearly every "Batman vs." argument is "Batman in the second fight". Batman takes on his opponent, and if he's not fighting Galactus (who eats him) or some pasty wuss (who crumbles under his mighty blows), he drops a smoke bomb or summons Alfred or whatever and crawls back to the Batcave to lick his wounds. Then, using his vast detective-type resources, he makes a plan, assembles the necessary gear, and saunters out to win.
Batman is smart. He has multiple contingency plans against any member of the JLA going rogue. He's beaten the crap out of Superman in several books.
Wolverine is good at smelling things. He can absorb ludicrous amounts of punishment, and what he can't absorb he can heal quickly; effectively he's nigh-immortal. And he can cut stuff real good. I'm sorry, but that's just not as interesting.
As for movies... there have been four Wolverine movies and six Batman ones. Batman's got two good ones, one brilliant one, one iffy one, one bad one and one execrable one. Wolverine's got two good ones and two bad ones (his solo pic being the worst of the four). They're both batting about .500, I'd say. Yes, Jackman is probably more fuckable than Bale, but that is a dumb criterion for a superhero. So there.
First of all, the answer to nearly every "Batman vs." argument is "Batman in the second fight". Batman takes on his opponent, and if he's not fighting Galactus (who eats him) or some pasty wuss (who crumbles under his mighty blows), he drops a smoke bomb or summons Alfred or whatever and crawls back to the Batcave to lick his wounds. Then, using his vast detective-type resources, he makes a plan, assembles the necessary gear, and saunters out to win.
Batman is smart. He has multiple contingency plans against any member of the JLA going rogue. He's beaten the crap out of Superman in several books.
Wolverine is good at smelling things. He can absorb ludicrous amounts of punishment, and what he can't absorb he can heal quickly; effectively he's nigh-immortal. And he can cut stuff real good. I'm sorry, but that's just not as interesting.
As for movies... there have been four Wolverine movies and six Batman ones. Batman's got two good ones, one brilliant one, one iffy one, one bad one and one execrable one. Wolverine's got two good ones and two bad ones (his solo pic being the worst of the four). They're both batting about .500, I'd say. Yes, Jackman is probably more fuckable than Bale, but that is a dumb criterion for a superhero. So there.
16
I think the differences between Batman and Wolverine are what sow the seeds of their forbidden love. Don't try to tell me either one of them actually likes women.
17
@14: Superman is an uninteresting character unless he's written well. Unsurprisingly, you can take 'Superman' out of that sentence and replace it with ALMOST FUCKING ANY CHARACTER EVER.
@15: There has never been a good Batman movie. Wait, that's not completely accurate. There has never been a good live action Batman movie. The one with Adam West was fun, but I don't know that I'd call it good.
@15: There has never been a good Batman movie. Wait, that's not completely accurate. There has never been a good live action Batman movie. The one with Adam West was fun, but I don't know that I'd call it good.
18
Wolverine is a big badass guy with a couple cool physical advantages. Batman is a genius, the Mozart of combat, of all possible human beings the most dangerous. The comparison is ludicrous. Batman.
19
You Wolverine haters have not concept of the pathos of Wolverine's unending and unexplained (or frequently re-explained) existence. He's a loner, no Alfred to fall back on, no Commissioner Gordon to light up the Bat Signal. The Wolverine signal is lit all the time, it's the existence of Evil. Wolverine finds evil and cuts it apart. He can't do anything else, it's just his nature, and it tears him apart.
OK, so with that out of my system I think my big problem with Batman is that he's some rich asshole who bought his way into superhero-hood. Wolverine is a mutant (a nature outcast) who suffered unspeakable torture to become who he is. I definitely identify more with the ragged outcast from the wilderness than with the rich boy with all the toys.
OK, so with that out of my system I think my big problem with Batman is that he's some rich asshole who bought his way into superhero-hood. Wolverine is a mutant (a nature outcast) who suffered unspeakable torture to become who he is. I definitely identify more with the ragged outcast from the wilderness than with the rich boy with all the toys.
20
Wolverine, no question. What's Wayne got in his arsenal that'll hold up to razer-sharp Adamantine claws? There's no Kryptonite ring to fall back on, Logan can take way more punishment than The Bats, plus there's that rapid healing with which to contend.
The only chance Wayne has is to stay out of close-quarter combat; once Logan gets an inside reach, it's Bat-Baloney Sandwich Time.
The only chance Wayne has is to stay out of close-quarter combat; once Logan gets an inside reach, it's Bat-Baloney Sandwich Time.
21
A wolverine would definitely beat a bat. Well, unless the bat just flew away. But if they were stuck in a room together, eventually that bat would be eaten.
22
Neither, because after a brief shuffle, they'll go over and start bashing criminal heads together, followed by a cold one and hot tea respectively ;)
23
Or answer alternative: Solid Snake snipes 'em while they're fighting and dumps Wolverine into wet cement before he regenerates.
Or the Doctor goes back in time and bang their moms so they don't exist.
If you want to get nerdy.
Or the Doctor goes back in time and bang their moms so they don't exist.
If you want to get nerdy.
25
We can go on about this forever, but I just wanted to point out how this comment thread (and the original) reminds me of some brilliant movie dialogue.
From Crimson Tide (great testostero-film), one of the few lines they kept in when Quentin Tarantino was asked to 'fix' the screenplay:
Hunter: Rivetti, what's up?
Rivetti: I'm sorry, Sir. It's just a difference of opinion that got out of hand.
Hunter: What about?
Rivetti: It's really too silly to talk about, Sir. I'd really just forget about...
Hunter: I don't give a damn about what you'd rather forget about. Why were you two fighting?
Rivetti: I said, the Kirby Silver Surfer was the only real Silver Surfer. And that the Moebius Silver Surfer was shit. And Bennefield's a big Moebius fan. And it got off hand. I pushed him. He pushed me. I lost my head, Sir. I'm Sorry.
Hunter: Rivetti..., you're a supervisor. You can get a commission like that.
[Snaps finger]
Rivetti: I know, Sir. You're 100 percent right. It will never happen again.
Hunter: It better not happen again. If I see this kind of nonsense again, I'm going to write you up. You understand? [No answer] Do you understand?
Rivetti: Yes, Sir.
Hunter: You have to set an example even in the face of stupidity. Everybody who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Silver Surfer. Now, am I right or wrong?
Rivetti: You're right, Sir.
Hunter: Now, get out of here.
Rivetti: Yes, Sir.
(thanks wikipedia!)
From Crimson Tide (great testostero-film), one of the few lines they kept in when Quentin Tarantino was asked to 'fix' the screenplay:
Hunter: Rivetti, what's up?
Rivetti: I'm sorry, Sir. It's just a difference of opinion that got out of hand.
Hunter: What about?
Rivetti: It's really too silly to talk about, Sir. I'd really just forget about...
Hunter: I don't give a damn about what you'd rather forget about. Why were you two fighting?
Rivetti: I said, the Kirby Silver Surfer was the only real Silver Surfer. And that the Moebius Silver Surfer was shit. And Bennefield's a big Moebius fan. And it got off hand. I pushed him. He pushed me. I lost my head, Sir. I'm Sorry.
Hunter: Rivetti..., you're a supervisor. You can get a commission like that.
[Snaps finger]
Rivetti: I know, Sir. You're 100 percent right. It will never happen again.
Hunter: It better not happen again. If I see this kind of nonsense again, I'm going to write you up. You understand? [No answer] Do you understand?
Rivetti: Yes, Sir.
Hunter: You have to set an example even in the face of stupidity. Everybody who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Silver Surfer. Now, am I right or wrong?
Rivetti: You're right, Sir.
Hunter: Now, get out of here.
Rivetti: Yes, Sir.
(thanks wikipedia!)
26
Batman. He has the best, most kickass video game (of course, I'm talking about Arkham Asylum). All the Wolverine titles suuuuuuuuuuuck.
29
No one will ever read this because I was out of town when this thread began.
All of you Batman lovers are forgetting Wolverine's skill, knowledge, and experience. Wolverine was in special forces, he was a CIA agent, is a trained Samurai, and speaks around 6 languages fluently and is around a 120 years old.
I don't think Batman would go down easy, but my money is on Wolverine. His physical capabilities are superior to Batman's. Batman isn't that much more intelligent than Wolverine. It may be a ten round fight, but rich-boy Bruce would lose in the end.
All of you Batman lovers are forgetting Wolverine's skill, knowledge, and experience. Wolverine was in special forces, he was a CIA agent, is a trained Samurai, and speaks around 6 languages fluently and is around a 120 years old.
I don't think Batman would go down easy, but my money is on Wolverine. His physical capabilities are superior to Batman's. Batman isn't that much more intelligent than Wolverine. It may be a ten round fight, but rich-boy Bruce would lose in the end.
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