Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Savage Love Savage Love Letters of the Day
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Mistakes were made...
Usually I agree with most of the advice you dispense. But your advice to ACLU—a caring loving uncle—was questionable. I'm a criminal defense lawyer and had a case where a father was driving down the street in his van and noticed the young man who had had sex with his daughter. Pulling over and jumping out he proceeded to confront and get whacked with a folding metal sign by the young man and his friend, and when the police arrived they arrested the father. Threatening or inflicting violence is a crime that can get a person arrested. If your readers do get arrested, remember the Fifth Amendment right to say nothing, and that anything you say to the police can and will be used against you in a court of law.Lawyers Always Worry
Re: the dominant women who likes getting her boyfriend fat. Since the woman is a fitness nut, she probably already knows this, but the advice you gave her is actually quite bad for the guy's health. Being a little overweight isn't that unhealthy, but having a fluctuating weight (yoyo dieting) is much worse for you. She's better off getting him moderately overweight and then stopping.Big Mistake
Another letter and my responses to al three after the jump...
I was just listening to your show (number 157), in which you gave great advice to a girl who was having some trouble dealing with her small body/big rack proportions and the attention she receives. My only beef with your comment to her was a moment in which you told her "better to have a big rack than a big red baboon butt" or something like that, thus validating my own worst fear about my own proportions. I'm 23, of average height, pretty, and slender, but I have got what our friends in the hip-hop community like to call a "gadunkadunk" [sp?]. (I've had black men and women tell me—I'm white—that I have a black bootie. I think its a compliment. And I had my white male friend tell me that white boys—"sorry"—like it the other way round, big breasts and small butt).Try as I might (I run and bike), that thing isn't going anywhere. Considering the fact that I have very small breasts and zero waist or stomach, I do feel like a ridiculous baboon sometimes. I know that I'm attractive, but it's hard to feel hot when you see proportions that seem absurd in the mirror (dresses just don't hang right, my bra and underwear comes in very different sizes). And your comment really drove that already constant feeling home for me. (Yes, yes, let's not internalize the crap other people say, even you, Dan Savage, but hey, I'm a mortal woman).
With big breasts, at least you can tell when someone is checking out your rack. I often just throw suspicious glances behind me as I'm walking away from the leerer -in-question (My ass has been slapped on the street before. And I feel - like the woman w/the large breasts, totally gross about hauling this bootie sometimes). Also, being told that you're "shapely" but "slender" by your mom's good male friend, and knowing he's referring to your ass, is never very comfortable. That's an aside though. In general, our culture definitely values either shapely women with breasts and butt (J.Lo), or models with breasts and no ass (Victoria's Secret). I feel like my body is flip-flopped. And, as you seemed to say on your program, better to have the big-rack situation, than the other way round.
In any case, I'm not dragging my big ass to you begging for an apology - just wanted to put my own reaction out there. I'm going to put on a long, tight-fitting t-shirt over my arse now. But first, I'll go for a run.
Baboon Butt
LAW: In my family people were constantly threatened to kill each other while I was growing up. Parents threatened to kill their children, siblings threatened to kill each other, aunts threatened to kill nieces, uncles threatened to kill nephews, and grandparents threatened to slit everyone's throats in our sleep. It was an expression that telegraphed intense displeasure. These threats weren't meant literally, LAW, nor were they taken literally. But to be on the safe said perhaps ACLU should toss a "figuratively speaking" in after he threatens to murder his niece's boyfriend with his bare hands.
BM: I stand corrected—although I did say, in that response, that FAT's boyfriend had a right to assume certain risks, even at the risk of shortening his life, in pursuit of pleasure: "Even if indulging your fetish shaves a year or two off his life, well, people throw away decades of their lives for lesser pleasures. People smoke, ride motorcycles without helmets, and stick their rear ends in the air in skank-ass sex clubs. Our bodies are our own, FAT; they're ours to use, abuse, and, since we're all going to die one day, they're ours to use up.... It's ultimately up to your boyfriend to determine whether the pleasures of submitting to you—including the pleasure of indulging your fetish—are worth the risks to his health." If understated the risks of yo-yo dieting, but if FAT's boyfriend, once acquainted with those risks, wants to run 'em because it turns his girlfriend on, that's his right.
BB: I'm sorry you were hurt by that response. But I wasn't referring to big, meaty, sexy human butts when I said it was better to have big tits than a "big red baboon butt." I meant it was better to have a big, sexy human rack than to have actual red butt of an actually red-butted baboon. Forgive me if I made you feel bad about your ass. And I would encourage you to do exactly what I encouraged the girl with the big rack to do: love your body. Don't be self-conscious about your ass; embrace it, accept it, show it off to your advantage. Some folks have big, curvy butts, BB, and some folks love big, curvy butts. Your butt has the power to attract and land you a quality ass man. Use that power for good.
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1
BB, welcome to the world of black booty. You now experience the pain that many black women have getting their butts constantly grabbed, having a ridiculously hard time finding clothes that fit, etc. Because many (I won't say all) black women have "pear" figures, meaning bigger hips and bootie but smaller chests. Sir Mix-a-lot came out with that song for a reason....
And yes, the people who told you that you have black booty was paying you a compliment, because many a black woman have shapely, firm but large bums...it is the defining curve of their curvy figure. I have a black booty (and as it turns out, I'm black), but my white friends complain about their big butts all of the time (most of them are smoking something b/c I don't know what they're talking about)....when I comment that my booty is as big, or bigger, then theirs, they say "oh, but you have such a NICE butt!"
There are plenty of men of all races who love booty, so do not despair. You feel like your body is "flip-flopped" because, I hate to say it....mainstream American culture has not accepted the awesomeness of the booty. J.Lo was the first mainstream example of a large shapely bum being "attractive" that I can think of...Beyonce is another good example. But my guess is that your body is beautiful and you will find someone who appreciates it.
And yes, the people who told you that you have black booty was paying you a compliment, because many a black woman have shapely, firm but large bums...it is the defining curve of their curvy figure. I have a black booty (and as it turns out, I'm black), but my white friends complain about their big butts all of the time (most of them are smoking something b/c I don't know what they're talking about)....when I comment that my booty is as big, or bigger, then theirs, they say "oh, but you have such a NICE butt!"
There are plenty of men of all races who love booty, so do not despair. You feel like your body is "flip-flopped" because, I hate to say it....mainstream American culture has not accepted the awesomeness of the booty. J.Lo was the first mainstream example of a large shapely bum being "attractive" that I can think of...Beyonce is another good example. But my guess is that your body is beautiful and you will find someone who appreciates it.
2
Dear Baboon Butt,
"And I had my white male friend tell me that white boys—"sorry"—like it the other way round, big breasts and small butt"
This is not true. There are many white men who could give or take boobs but love a fine booty.
"And I had my white male friend tell me that white boys—"sorry"—like it the other way round, big breasts and small butt"
This is not true. There are many white men who could give or take boobs but love a fine booty.
4
I for one would like to speak (or post) in praise of big round asses (I'm a white guy btw). A recent GF had a tremendous front and the sort of tight little behind all women want (hetero women want these because they don't know what's so great about womens' bodies) but I always felt like there was something missing.
All breast sizes are wonderful, men will tell you they have a preference but once the shirt comes off that goes away (along with our ability to think clearly), but it takes some mass to make an ass fantastic and not merely cute.
And let me say it again: if you are a hetero woman, you just can't know what we guys are seeing when we look at you and what it does to us. It's nice, trust me.
All breast sizes are wonderful, men will tell you they have a preference but once the shirt comes off that goes away (along with our ability to think clearly), but it takes some mass to make an ass fantastic and not merely cute.
And let me say it again: if you are a hetero woman, you just can't know what we guys are seeing when we look at you and what it does to us. It's nice, trust me.
5
My very white husband loves my curvy hips and big butt. He's totally not into boobs. I'm another white girl with a black booty and totally ok with it. Don't despair BB, you will find a great guy who loves your ass.
6
To BB: Ditto to what everyone else already said here about embracing your curvy physique. I used to hate myself over my big, white ass, and believe me, no amount of exercise or diet is going to make a curvy ass flat. But I learned, as Dan said, to use it for good, and along the way I learned to love—or at least accept—my big butt.
What you said about getting your ass slapped on the street: fuck those fuckers. For some reason certain men feel it's OK to slap a complete stranger's bigger butt—it's happened to me more than a few times and it's humiliating and infuriating. Put the assholes and haters aside and don't let them get to you. And call the cops, if possible. I did once, and it was awesome and oh-so vindicating!
What you said about getting your ass slapped on the street: fuck those fuckers. For some reason certain men feel it's OK to slap a complete stranger's bigger butt—it's happened to me more than a few times and it's humiliating and infuriating. Put the assholes and haters aside and don't let them get to you. And call the cops, if possible. I did once, and it was awesome and oh-so vindicating!
7
I could have written BB's letter, word for word. I do have rather wide hips and proportionally narrower waist (but still too much of a gut, alas) that gives a nice hourglass in the right outfit, but my ass definitely steals the show. I don't know if I can ever truly accept my body- no matter how much I tell myself I'm ok, it is still near impossible to find jeans that fit, and I come off like a giant next to the cute skinny shiksas populating my town (i'm Jewish with "black hair" too according to a black hairstylist I had- it is a constant battle to keep that shit straight!). Also, am I the only one who never saw what was so "bootyliscious" about J. Lo or Beyonce? Everyone kept crowing about their "big butts" but they seem like regular ole asses to me!
8
Women are too focused on their body shapes. I don't blame them because that's pressure they get from society. But know that there are men who would worship your big butt. A whole lot of them. Same for small titties. Embrace your butt.
9
Hey BB, I'm a white male and I have to say that a generously proportioned backside has a debilitating effect on me. Frankly I'd be surprised if that "white male friend" of yours had a small arse himself considering how far his his head is stuck up it.
Unfortunately I have a big bunda myself, which, combined with a slim upper body, isn't such a great feature on a guy. :( One thing I've come to realise though is that everyone has something about their own body they'd change if given the drawing board to go back to. The only sane thing to do is embrace it. Luckily for you, your particular feature is freaking hot - you just don't realise it. I wish I could convince you, but any attempt to do so would get me into all sorts of strife at home...
Unfortunately I have a big bunda myself, which, combined with a slim upper body, isn't such a great feature on a guy. :( One thing I've come to realise though is that everyone has something about their own body they'd change if given the drawing board to go back to. The only sane thing to do is embrace it. Luckily for you, your particular feature is freaking hot - you just don't realise it. I wish I could convince you, but any attempt to do so would get me into all sorts of strife at home...
11
@9 Nothing sweeter for me than a man with a big bunda. I mean ass in "Americani". Talk about debilitating!
13
i have a very normal-sized ass, and i've had it slapped on the street. i don't think you should read too much into that.
14
BB - I haven't read the other posts, but let me tell you that as a 5 foot tall 33-31-42 (inches) woman, I'm at least aware of the problems that can come with a pear shape. Thing is? I'm pansexual, and big butts and thick legs (whether or not you have those) are about the sexiest thing on a woman, as far as I'm concerned. (This also goes for men with curvy bottoms, like my boyfriend.)
Don't give up hope. My boyfriend loves my bottom, and he really loves my A-cup chest. So just be confident, look at yourself and see how sexy you are, and they'll see it, too. It's the confidence that really gets their attention, I think.
So that's my brazen two cents.
Don't give up hope. My boyfriend loves my bottom, and he really loves my A-cup chest. So just be confident, look at yourself and see how sexy you are, and they'll see it, too. It's the confidence that really gets their attention, I think.
So that's my brazen two cents.
16
Aussie Steve - Please note my comment above. My boyfriend has the cutest butt I've ever seen; it's round and about as large as mine. So there are girls who like it, really.
17
In Brazil, large breasts are not covetted or admired. That culture is all about the butt, or boom boom, as it's referred to. The natural shape, lines and curves of a woman's body are beautiful, just as the male form is beautiful. It's an issue of body image--BB seems to have a poor self image. Love yourself as you are, and learn to appreciate your assets, and your ass.
18
In Brazil, large breasts are not covetted or admired. That culture is all about the butt, or boom boom, as it's referred to. The natural shape, lines and curves of a woman's body are beautiful, just as the male form is beautiful. It's an issue of body image--BB seems to have a poor self image. Love yourself as you are, and learn to appreciate your assets, and your ass.
19
BB, your white male friend is DEAD WRONG. Tell him to shove it and stop hurting you with total falsehoods. All the straight white guys I know are totally about the ass. Boobs are nice and all, but badonkadonk is what gets them hot. I have a friend with an A cup and a ridiculously awesome butt. Luckily, she knows that it's her best feature and that everyone is in love/envious of it. You should try to feel the same :)
As for clothes, very few people can buy every fashion that comes off-the-rack. Pretty much the only ones who can are skinny girls who look like the models/mannequins themselves (not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's your natural shape). But I would gladly trade not fitting well into every type of clothing, for looking awesome naked (and again, not trying to diss naturally skinny girls - you look awesome too). Part of learning to love your body is learning to dress in ways that flatter it, and that's true for 99% of body types.
@7, I'm another Jewish girl who's been told she has "black hair" (although the term that was used was the slightly more polite "ethnic hair"). So I started using hair products marketed toward black women, and guess what! They work amazingly! Score.
As for clothes, very few people can buy every fashion that comes off-the-rack. Pretty much the only ones who can are skinny girls who look like the models/mannequins themselves (not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's your natural shape). But I would gladly trade not fitting well into every type of clothing, for looking awesome naked (and again, not trying to diss naturally skinny girls - you look awesome too). Part of learning to love your body is learning to dress in ways that flatter it, and that's true for 99% of body types.
@7, I'm another Jewish girl who's been told she has "black hair" (although the term that was used was the slightly more polite "ethnic hair"). So I started using hair products marketed toward black women, and guess what! They work amazingly! Score.
22
BB-embrace your ass for the blessing it is. The fact of the matter is most (hetero) men usually go for tits or ass (or of course, both). You just need to find an ass man and you'll be fine. They come in all shapes, sizes and races (though admittedly I find certain cultures do tend to value ass more than breasts). I've generally found that the ass men I date could give a shit about my (practically non-existent) breasts. You just have to learn to seek those men out.
I've learned to love men looking at my ass (touching is different altogether, I say if anyone touches you punch them in the face) and you can too! You can use your butt for good - like when you're having sex with some guy who thinks you're the hottest chick on the planet.
I've learned to love men looking at my ass (touching is different altogether, I say if anyone touches you punch them in the face) and you can too! You can use your butt for good - like when you're having sex with some guy who thinks you're the hottest chick on the planet.
23
oh my god girl just move to a big city already. I have your body, big time. My mom gave it to me. My mom always hated her ass, until she grew up and accepted herself and all that jazz, but i grew up in a large, predominantly black city (i'm white) and learned from a young age that i had the hottest body ever. seriously; i know plenty of girls around these parts that would kill for some junk in the trunk. everyone in this thread is right; there's plenty of guys of all races that love ass and could give a shit about boobs, but if you're seriously having trouble feeling good about your curves just spend some time somewhere where bodies are made differently (ahem, skinny white girls not necessarily the epitome of beauty) and you'll walk proud in no time.
24
Wow - how shallow are all of you sloggers? Not one of you mentioned her mind. BB is hot to me because she can write coherently and with style. She should replace Lindy here at The Stanger! Her ass and tits may catch your attention, but the brain is what is going to keep you coming back. Why are there not more comments on the intellectual abilities of women?
"By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity." - Robert A. Heinlein
"By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity." - Robert A. Heinlein
25
It is not up and down wieght per se which is dangerous. Does no one know how to read a damn science paper? It is the cyclic process of starvation and engorgement. It would be safe (although still less safe than maintaining a good weight) to diet sensibly between feeds. This would lengthen the periodicity of the process, but make it a much safer process to begin with.
You could also feed with foods that 'look' like junk food, but are healthier options, like a Boca burger on a whole wheat roll instead of a whopper. After all, much of our sexual response is in the appearance. When I whip my wife, I'm not trying to flay her, only to give her the appearance of extreme suffering.
You could also feed with foods that 'look' like junk food, but are healthier options, like a Boca burger on a whole wheat roll instead of a whopper. After all, much of our sexual response is in the appearance. When I whip my wife, I'm not trying to flay her, only to give her the appearance of extreme suffering.
26
@24 Because BB wasn't asking about what WAS attractive about her, she was sharing a part of her body she felt insecure about. Thus, the commenters took it upon themselves to explain why she shouldn't feel insecure about that part of her body - how it was, in fact, an asset.
If we were to list all the many ways BB is an attractive partner, we would come up with a long list, I'm sure, but that's not what she wrote in about.
If we were to list all the many ways BB is an attractive partner, we would come up with a long list, I'm sure, but that's not what she wrote in about.
27
@4 "And let me say it again: if you are a hetero woman, you just can't know what we guys are seeing when we look at you and what it does to us. It's nice, trust me."
What a sweet thing to say. Sometimes I see a guy, and I'm thinking "he's got NO IDEA how attractive he is right now." Sexual attraction is mysterious and not bound by perfection or hard and fast rules of what is mainstream. I try to remember that when I get down about my body. This totally made my day!
What a sweet thing to say. Sometimes I see a guy, and I'm thinking "he's got NO IDEA how attractive he is right now." Sexual attraction is mysterious and not bound by perfection or hard and fast rules of what is mainstream. I try to remember that when I get down about my body. This totally made my day!
28
@12: Aussie Steve, I fucking looove my boyfriend's curvy ass. Keep it.
BB, I know a Russian girl with the most amazing ass ever. She's tiny, pretty much flat-chested, but she bikes like a bashee (she and her boyfriend are avid cyclists) and she's amazingly sexy. Anyway, like everyone's already said, embrace it. Boobs *are* nice, but there's something incredibly basic and hot about a nice ass that a rack just can't do.
BB, I know a Russian girl with the most amazing ass ever. She's tiny, pretty much flat-chested, but she bikes like a bashee (she and her boyfriend are avid cyclists) and she's amazingly sexy. Anyway, like everyone's already said, embrace it. Boobs *are* nice, but there's something incredibly basic and hot about a nice ass that a rack just can't do.
29
Oh, I got it. It's the walk. Nothing, truly, honestly, is sexier about a woman than her hips when she's walking. And that's greatly enhanced by a shapely behind.
30
Now this is a pro-ass blog comment community! We're all fondling your backside, BB. Rhetorically. *loving smack*
31
Wow, thank you so much @27, and all these wonderful positive booty/body comments! I have no ass, but reading these has made me so happy, and reminds me that "Sexual attraction is mysterious and not bound by perfection or hard and fast rules of what is mainstream." Yae!!! Thank you Slog for brightening my day!
32
My BF and I met online. Our first face-to-face was at a Starbucks. I was already seated when he arrived, so a few minutes in he asked if we should get some drinks, and I told him to just grab me a water. He asked if I wanted to go to the counter and look at the menu, he'd get me anything I like. I declined.
Later, after we had been dating for a while, he confessed that he was trying to get me to stand up so he could have a good luck at my ass! LOL...that still cracks me up! He had contacted me in the first place because I had a full-length picture up on my profile page, and he said he could tell from the width of my hips that I probably had a nice ass.
Of course, I didn't TOTALLY deny him...when it was time to leave, I did get up and walk out ahead of him, which I later confessed I did on purpose so he could check out my ass. Even now, 2+ years into it, he often walks behind me instead of beside me, because he enjoys the view. Use what you've got, that's my motto. (I have a rack, too, which he appreciates, but he's still an ass-man.)
Later, after we had been dating for a while, he confessed that he was trying to get me to stand up so he could have a good luck at my ass! LOL...that still cracks me up! He had contacted me in the first place because I had a full-length picture up on my profile page, and he said he could tell from the width of my hips that I probably had a nice ass.
Of course, I didn't TOTALLY deny him...when it was time to leave, I did get up and walk out ahead of him, which I later confessed I did on purpose so he could check out my ass. Even now, 2+ years into it, he often walks behind me instead of beside me, because he enjoys the view. Use what you've got, that's my motto. (I have a rack, too, which he appreciates, but he's still an ass-man.)
33
Wow, I returned to check on this thread with a slight sense of dread, as I was sure that at least a few haters would have tried to make it into a debate; what a treat to find everyone just about to hold hands and sing Kum-Ba-Ya for the better things in life!
I would love to see what my current GF looks like on the back of my sport bike :) I'm sure that we surprise some people and I enjoy thinking "Suck it haters!" Well maybe there aren't as many of those around as I thought, and at this point I don't want to know since we have such a happy little thread here!
I would love to see what my current GF looks like on the back of my sport bike :) I'm sure that we surprise some people and I enjoy thinking "Suck it haters!" Well maybe there aren't as many of those around as I thought, and at this point I don't want to know since we have such a happy little thread here!
34
@1 You should be more careful about your approach, stating "welcome to the world of black booty. You now experience the pain that many black women have..."
I think you give great perspective and advice to BB, but I don't think you need to say that she "now" experiences the pain many black women have - she has experienced it her whole life, from the sound of it. I am sorry if this seems like a petty disagreement, and I just want to say that I loved everything else you said - I really like all the positive messages in here regarding loving your body and being proud of what you have.
Although @ 24, I think you're over-reacting. Don't call people shallow when the conversation was about looks from the beginning. You could have steered it in a "deeper" direction without being so condescending.
And @32, what a sweet story. I loved it, truly.
I think you give great perspective and advice to BB, but I don't think you need to say that she "now" experiences the pain many black women have - she has experienced it her whole life, from the sound of it. I am sorry if this seems like a petty disagreement, and I just want to say that I loved everything else you said - I really like all the positive messages in here regarding loving your body and being proud of what you have.
Although @ 24, I think you're over-reacting. Don't call people shallow when the conversation was about looks from the beginning. You could have steered it in a "deeper" direction without being so condescending.
And @32, what a sweet story. I loved it, truly.
35
@24, good lord. We don't KNOW the girl! We can't comment on her mind... Just because she can string together a few sentences doesn't mean she's demonstrated a profound intellect that warrants the praise of the masses.
BB - I'm a white girl with a black booty too. I remember the first time someone told me that, it was a black woman in my class in college. She was standing behind me waiting for the elevator and said " DAAAAAMN girl! You got the booty of a BLACK woman!" I laughed out loud and we were great friends all the way through college. It IS a real pain to get pants that fit though. That's my biggest complaint. The pants that fit the booty have a waistband that sticks out 4"!!! The new elastic waistband pants from reitmans are a sanity-saver.
BB - I'm a white girl with a black booty too. I remember the first time someone told me that, it was a black woman in my class in college. She was standing behind me waiting for the elevator and said " DAAAAAMN girl! You got the booty of a BLACK woman!" I laughed out loud and we were great friends all the way through college. It IS a real pain to get pants that fit though. That's my biggest complaint. The pants that fit the booty have a waistband that sticks out 4"!!! The new elastic waistband pants from reitmans are a sanity-saver.
36
BB:
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
37
BB:
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
38
BB:
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
I read your letter and had to comment. I have to agree with everyone else. I'm a woman who's bi and I fall the hell out over a girl with a big phat booty. Its GORGEOUS and so erotic. I would encourage you to find role models that rock 'dat ass. Not everyone likes a pancake butt and big boobs. I like smaller boobs too. And I'm a white girl. I have a big butt, and when I look at VS models and whatnot, sure I might feel bad about it. Especially when (like you said) your underwear size is WAY bigger than bra. But you know what, I started looking @ models like Vida Guerra and I realized that if I think its sexy on other women, why can't it be sexy on me? So I got some spandex booty jeans and I rock it. The attention is fun. And yes, guys smack your ass. I agree w/ others. Find the cops. Fuck them. Lots of love to you boo, from the East Coast! <3
39
I've got large curvy breasts and my best friend has a large curvy butt (we're both white). We've hung out together countless times in many different places, and we get the same amount of flirtation and staring. Different strokes for different folks.
Also this:
"Your butt has the power to attract and land you a quality ass man. Use that power for good."
is fucking fantastic.
Also this:
"Your butt has the power to attract and land you a quality ass man. Use that power for good."
is fucking fantastic.
40
The key to happiness is to find the lover who loves whatever you dislike most about your body. I found a guy who loves my big ass and I could not be happier. Just don't fall for someone who hates your body, that is devastating to self and self-esteem!
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