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News & ArtsSaturday, October 31, 2009
Life Boo!
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Oct 31, 2009 at 4:19 PM
Except us.
For these trick-or-treaters—older kids who aren't in costumes—we lay in a few bags of peeled-and-wrapped garlic cloves. We mix 'em into the bowl with the rest of the candy so they're handy, but we're careful to only give 'em to older kids who don't come in costume. The garlic says, "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." We think everybody should do it.
2
Ironically, that probably costs way more than candy. Maybe you should go all Charlie Brown and give 'em rocks.
4
The lollipops with insects embedded in them (thank you Archie McPhee) work well too.
Until the younger kids spot 'em, and they want them too, just because they're so gross.
Until the younger kids spot 'em, and they want them too, just because they're so gross.
9
Good grief. Stop being a Halloween Grinch. So they're teenagers. So they're not dressed up. So they'd like some candy too.
At their ages there are worse things hey could do. Think of the alternative. They could be egging your windows.
At their ages there are worse things hey could do. Think of the alternative. They could be egging your windows.
11
I love marshmallow peanuts. Only when they're stale.
I recommend individually wrapped restaurant-style pats of butter, or those little Laughing Cow cheese wedges.
I recommend individually wrapped restaurant-style pats of butter, or those little Laughing Cow cheese wedges.
13
I was going to suggest Aplets & Cotlets for teenagers, but I really like the idea of foil-wrapped butter. They would look vaguely like those little candy bars.
14
wow. how passive aggressive. these kids are just going through an awkward age. give them a smile and some candy.
15
I used to live in a popular trick or treat neighborhood. You would have thought we were handing out gold pieces and not snack sized Milky Ways. What bugged me the most were the kids (with their parents prodding) who would ask for extra for the sick sister at home or the 3 month old in the carriage. Hey it is MILK chocolate why wouldn't the baby want it.
16
I was one of those nasty older kids. "Wrong side of the tracks" Cap Hill rats trolling for candy up in Smug Flats. We preferred to be refused sweets, because the whole point was to build us a nice post-Halloween tp list.
Anyway, good luck with the garlic.
Anyway, good luck with the garlic.
19
What @9, 14 & 16 said. I give candy to anyone, any age, man or beast, who bothers to dress in costume. Just gave a handful of Snickers to a pit bull wearing a number 00 Bengals jersey. I love Halloween.
20
It is Halloween. Trick or treat.
There is nothing more hateful to a teenager than to be embarrassed in front of their friends. Do your best. While holding out the piece of candy and just before you drop it into their pillow case, ask them how old they are; ask them to describe their costume; what grade they’re in? “Why is your voice so high for a man of your age?” “Are you all still virgins?” “You must be the tallest student in your 3rd grade class.” etc.
Truly, trick or treat them. They'll give up after a few houses of pointed ego deflation.
There is nothing more hateful to a teenager than to be embarrassed in front of their friends. Do your best. While holding out the piece of candy and just before you drop it into their pillow case, ask them how old they are; ask them to describe their costume; what grade they’re in? “Why is your voice so high for a man of your age?” “Are you all still virgins?” “You must be the tallest student in your 3rd grade class.” etc.
Truly, trick or treat them. They'll give up after a few houses of pointed ego deflation.
21
Sure, why say something like "Where's your costume?" or "No costume, no candy." when you can just be passive aggressive?
22
@21: It's not passive-aggressive, it's a TRICK!
And an anonymous comment isn't passive-aggressive?
And an anonymous comment isn't passive-aggressive?
23
Why? They're so cute! Give 'em a break. It won't be long before they have a shitty job and a sucky boss and a nagging spouse and bills up the ass, etc., etc.,... They deserve one last shot at being kids.
24
@18 That's friggin' hilarious. I'd go with that.
@19 I like your attitude, I do the same. I love seeing the parents dress up too! Sounds like Dan's more upset about the lack of costume than the age group; he's just noting the ages because they're the largest group.
@19 I like your attitude, I do the same. I love seeing the parents dress up too! Sounds like Dan's more upset about the lack of costume than the age group; he's just noting the ages because they're the largest group.
27
Hey, Dan, where exactly do you live? 'Cause I love garlic. I'm 40, so it'd be really ridiculous.... think you could throw in some fresh tomatoes and oregano also?
28
I used to roll up Limburger cheese and wrap the little balls in pretty cellophane paper. I'd throw one or two of the Limburger goodies with a handful of candy. After about an hour in that sack, it's "What's that smell?"
I'd make sure it wasn't given to little ones, but I stopped doing it when I got a little older. Decided it was kinda cruel.
My teenage years were long ago, but I remember thinking - even then - what self-respecting teenager goes trick-or-treating? Are these guys really hungry maybe?
I'd make sure it wasn't given to little ones, but I stopped doing it when I got a little older. Decided it was kinda cruel.
My teenage years were long ago, but I remember thinking - even then - what self-respecting teenager goes trick-or-treating? Are these guys really hungry maybe?
30
OK, I'm a dick..for the last several years, I have given candy and a condom to kids that I judge to be too old and uncostumed..I notice they also have no qualms about banging on my door at 9 or even 10 pm! What the fuck!
35
I just came up for a name for the kids that leave my neighborhood (Seward Park) to go begging for candy in yours: Trick'o Traitors.
Little do they know, I've got a salad bowl full size Reese's and Twix and no one to give them to :(
Little do they know, I've got a salad bowl full size Reese's and Twix and no one to give them to :(
36
Dan- I used to work on Broadway and I worked Halowwen a few years and we would get trick-or-treaters. It seemed like mostly people from the Central District- some would bring their kids, and sometimes sans kids. It was weird cause we weren't really prepared for it, but zince we had candy for sale, I did have some to give away. It made me cringe cause I would get people a hell of a lot older than the age group you mentioned- 30's- come in with a paper bag and ask if we were giving out candy. They would be 1) without costume 2) without kids (although sometimes they would say they were collecting for their kids, although their kids were nowhere in sight). They weren't homeless, in which case I could be more understanding. Just bottomfeeders. Good for you Dan, perhaps by doing what you are doing it will stop them from still doing it 2 decades down the road like the people I had to deal with.
38
Dan, tomorrow when you can't work out why your lawn smells like a 15 year old took a shit on it, you may have regrets.
40
@37- Um, too poor to afford candy? Dan, ask those 19 year old trick-or-tretors without costume to show you their cellphones. I have no doubt those "poor" kids trick or treating out of poverty aren't so poor they can't afford iphones.
I've noticed that people that we are told not to criticize because they are so f-ing poor often have top of the line/newest model cell phones and $400 nikes.
I've noticed that people that we are told not to criticize because they are so f-ing poor often have top of the line/newest model cell phones and $400 nikes.
41
It's sad that Dan does this. Sadder still that he is proud of it. What a miserable old man Dan has become.
42
Oh, "poor" my aunt Fanny. I did the same sort of crap when I was that age. They're just being kids, and pushing the limits. That's why we, as adults, have carte blanche to push back, and give them fiber pills or ex-lax or garlic.
Have fun, people! The kids are all right. They don't need coddling forever.
Have fun, people! The kids are all right. They don't need coddling forever.
43
Good for you Dan. When I was a teenager if I wanted the candy I swallowed my pride and went all out with a costume. I even forced friends to join in. And it was fucking hilarious to do it too. You want candy? You dress up. That's the deal. Don't want to dress up for fear of ridicule? Grow a pair.
46
I love it! I've always wanted some sort of solution for this issue. The older kids in my old neighborhood wouldn't even deign to say "Trick or Treat". I'd just stand there and look at them till they either walked away or sucked it up and asked.
And all those predicting backlash--what makes you think these kids can identify who gave them the garlic? Once you've got more than a couple of pieces of candy in your bag, you can't tell what you're getting at each door.
And all those predicting backlash--what makes you think these kids can identify who gave them the garlic? Once you've got more than a couple of pieces of candy in your bag, you can't tell what you're getting at each door.
47
"OK, I'm a dick..for the last several years, I have given candy and a condom to kids that I judge to be too old and uncostumed.."
Only a dick move if the condom has carefully placed micro-tears.
Only a dick move if the condom has carefully placed micro-tears.
48
I'm one of those people who have the balls to just say, "No costume, no candy."
You don't have to be nasty about it or anything. They know the joke they're playing.
You don't have to be nasty about it or anything. They know the joke they're playing.
49
1) I love candy corn.
2) I don't care how old they are, or if they are dressed up. I consider them the same as the parents who have their infants dressed up and are trick-or-treating with them. I give every person who knocks candy or coins.
Best outfit I have seen tonight, 8th grader covered in cereal boxes, she was a "cereal" killer.
2) I don't care how old they are, or if they are dressed up. I consider them the same as the parents who have their infants dressed up and are trick-or-treating with them. I give every person who knocks candy or coins.
Best outfit I have seen tonight, 8th grader covered in cereal boxes, she was a "cereal" killer.
50
@49 - I'm with you, Kim.
Everyone that shows up at my door gets candy. Old, young, costumed or not. That's the spirit of it.
Oh, and everyone gets a "have a safe Halloween," as they're departing too.
Everyone that shows up at my door gets candy. Old, young, costumed or not. That's the spirit of it.
Oh, and everyone gets a "have a safe Halloween," as they're departing too.
51
more the merrier, however they want to do it, and at any age. i do get pissed though when some fifteen year old reaches in the bowl and takes a giant handful. but if there's one thing i've learned out here in the 'burbs, you don't want to get on the wrong side of a teenager, or a group of teenagers.
52
This year I made a sign which read "Wear a costume if you're trick or treating! Otherwise, no candy for you." My kid drew a nice jack 'o lantern on it... We still had a ton of ballsy teens ring our doorbell, but I made them invent a costume before I gave them any candy. One boy called me a stupid bitch and complained that his mom is too poor to buy him a costume. My favorite was a teen girl wearing regular black clothes, she said she was a goth and asked if she could have one of the plastic spiders on our webs. I let her have it, along with candy.
53
@46: Best solution? Save your money, time and aggravation, turn off the porch light, and watch TV in the back of the house. I know I'm going to lose my gay card for this, but Hallowe'en in its tacky American configuration is my least favorite 'holiday'. Personally, I am glad the management company banned trick or treating in my building and held a party 'for the children' downstairs in the lobby. Hallowe'en? What, are there no workhouses? Bah Humbug! ;)
54
Brilliant, Dan. Simple, perfect, and fitting. Two things to add:
1. My wife and i used to live in a neighborhood that was a magnetic destination for other areas, two to three hundred kids a year, and i can see you spending a hundred beans or more. Good for you! We used to call it the Halloween Tax.
2. The ones that got under my skin were the aforementioned non-costumed teens, with a LIT CIGARETTE dangling from their mumbling mouths. How i wish i had heard about the garlic.
1. My wife and i used to live in a neighborhood that was a magnetic destination for other areas, two to three hundred kids a year, and i can see you spending a hundred beans or more. Good for you! We used to call it the Halloween Tax.
2. The ones that got under my skin were the aforementioned non-costumed teens, with a LIT CIGARETTE dangling from their mumbling mouths. How i wish i had heard about the garlic.
55
Report from the north end of Rainier Valley:
Helped escort a group of kids betw 4 and 13. The older kids have strict immigrant parents who don't entirely approve of costumes, but bless them, they let their oldest kids (12-ish) go out anyway (the 7 y.o. was too young in their eyes).
I explained to the kids that some people won't give you candy if you're a big kid w/o a costume, and lent them a pair of light-up sunglasses and a plain eye mask. They were racing up to the houses, so excited. Heaven the way you remember it.
Halfway through these kids stopped back home to share the stash with their little brothers (4 and 7).
About 1/4 of the houses were lit up and offering candy. Some streets better than others. Plenty of neighbors had headed out to greener pastures. The houses that were lit up were very much appreciated, believe me.
Another 11 y.o. kid with us (dressed in a suit as "Obama") was educating the crowd about Capitol Hill, where he goes to not-public school. That's where the real candy's at. That's where the action is. Where the rich people are. The kids know damn well it gets better than their own neighborhood.
I was glad to be knocking on my own neighbors' doors, saying "Hi, we're all from Xxx St.!" and helping these kids enjoy our awesome tradition. That's worth way more than a ton of candy. Thanks to all you who made the holiday real in the CD.
Helped escort a group of kids betw 4 and 13. The older kids have strict immigrant parents who don't entirely approve of costumes, but bless them, they let their oldest kids (12-ish) go out anyway (the 7 y.o. was too young in their eyes).
I explained to the kids that some people won't give you candy if you're a big kid w/o a costume, and lent them a pair of light-up sunglasses and a plain eye mask. They were racing up to the houses, so excited. Heaven the way you remember it.
Halfway through these kids stopped back home to share the stash with their little brothers (4 and 7).
About 1/4 of the houses were lit up and offering candy. Some streets better than others. Plenty of neighbors had headed out to greener pastures. The houses that were lit up were very much appreciated, believe me.
Another 11 y.o. kid with us (dressed in a suit as "Obama") was educating the crowd about Capitol Hill, where he goes to not-public school. That's where the real candy's at. That's where the action is. Where the rich people are. The kids know damn well it gets better than their own neighborhood.
I was glad to be knocking on my own neighbors' doors, saying "Hi, we're all from Xxx St.!" and helping these kids enjoy our awesome tradition. That's worth way more than a ton of candy. Thanks to all you who made the holiday real in the CD.
56
I just want to give yet another shout out to candy corn. Eet is delicious.
That is all. Thank you.
That is all. Thank you.
57
Better yet - candy corn made from scratch!
Sure you thought it was an extruded industrial product, but you can actually make it at home! With butter!
Sure you thought it was an extruded industrial product, but you can actually make it at home! With butter!
58
Candy corn is fucking disgusting.
I love the idea of throwing in condoms for the older kids with their candy. It sends the message that "hey, you're getting too old for this" and also promotes safe sex.
I love the idea of throwing in condoms for the older kids with their candy. It sends the message that "hey, you're getting too old for this" and also promotes safe sex.
59
And in more pressing news regarding obnoxious teenagers-
Shooting @ 29th and Yesler about 1/2 hr ago. Cop shot. Whether there are any fatalities is unknown at this point.
Shooting @ 29th and Yesler about 1/2 hr ago. Cop shot. Whether there are any fatalities is unknown at this point.
60
You all should be made aware of the fact that there's a candy corn Hershey's kiss now.
http://www.typetive.com/candyblog/item/c…
http://www.typetive.com/candyblog/item/c…
61
After a night busy with groups of laughing kids, a late ring at the doorbell brings a chubby 15-ish girl in the full blossom of her awkwardness alone to my door in a bedsheet/toga ensemble. She manages a shy "trick or treat" while staring at the floor. I notice her Mom down the stairs waiting for her. I give her some candy and say "Happy Halloween". As she walks away, I whisper, "It's going to be alright." Then I turn off the lights, that's enough for his year.
62
Living on a college campus during Halloween is interesting. Some of those disaffected teenagers who didn't dress up but asked for candy have become late teenage/early 20-somethings wear costumes and go into public places, usually drunk. Halloween takes on a whole new meaning.
63
Oh man, I always go out in costume around Halloween. Then again, I live in a college town, where pretty *everyone* goes around in a costume on Halloween. Going trick-or-treating without looking the part's just... well, I'd feel foolish, walking around without a costume on and asking people for candy.
My younger siblings, for a few years now, have been doing coordinated costumes (like salt and pepper). They're adorable.
My younger siblings, for a few years now, have been doing coordinated costumes (like salt and pepper). They're adorable.
64
Dan, I love that with the sweeping array of annoying messages you must receive daily, it's these Halloween slackers that get your goat. Everyone has his limit. And by the way, don't fall for that kid on the crutches--turns out he really did have a busted ankle, it wasn't a costume at all (*wink*).
65
@37-- The teenagers that do that in my neighborhood can't possibly be poor, if I can smell the weed on them.
66
Dan states: "I'm not complaining!" needless to say, he then starts complaining of crowds, candy cost, parking, and (shudder) kids without costumes. hell, he even goes on to complain that the only two who do anything more than just complain about the costume-less are Dan and his boyfriend. how he knows they are the only dbags who give out garlic to these kids, we'll never know. i suppose we should be happy he gives out candy to any of the kids. it's fattening, don't ya know.
everybody's parents turn out lame.
"We think everybody should do it." well, of course you do. all lame parents think their lame sh!t is cool and that everybody should do it.
everybody's parents turn out lame.
"We think everybody should do it." well, of course you do. all lame parents think their lame sh!t is cool and that everybody should do it.
67
What about the older kids that really dress up? Are they okay?
Though I would actually appreciate the garlic, YUM!
Though I would actually appreciate the garlic, YUM!
68
if they're teenagers and not dressed up I tell them they'll have to put out if they want any candy
69
I'm with @49 (Kim in Portland). I give away lots of candy to each visitor and I don't care what age he is or whether he's in costume. If some older kids want in on the action, that's just fine. Quit being a grump, Dan. I'll bet you tell chubby kids they don't need any candy and hand them celery sticks, right? And do call your partner your "husband," okay?
70
Be careful with the garlic and other unusual treats. I have a friend who only hands out individual tea bags and prewrapped American cheese singles to all trick-or-treaters. (This is in Des Moines, IA.) His house is one of the most popular in his neighborhood because of the wacky factor.
72
Watch out! you uncostumed teenage punks...
There's a new Sheriff on Capitol Hill!
And he's taking names and KICKING ASS!!!
well, not that but he is stewing resentfully to himself as he silently passes out HUNDREDS of DOLLARS worth of candy and he is giving out these really clever bags of garlic and even if he doesn't have the balls to say "hey- no costume no candy..." to your face his little passive-aggressive bags of garlic will do the talking for him and THEY are saying (and we quote:) "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." (The garlic says this...)
so watch yourself.
There's a new Sheriff on Capitol Hill!
And he's taking names and KICKING ASS!!!
well, not that but he is stewing resentfully to himself as he silently passes out HUNDREDS of DOLLARS worth of candy and he is giving out these really clever bags of garlic and even if he doesn't have the balls to say "hey- no costume no candy..." to your face his little passive-aggressive bags of garlic will do the talking for him and THEY are saying (and we quote:) "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." (The garlic says this...)
so watch yourself.
73
would all you buttinskis please lay off Dan about what to call his ho?
it's a touchy subject...
he used to call Terri his 'wife' but that pissed her off and she pulled the usual sullen housewife tricks like 'forgetting' to wash and iron Dan's favorite "I'm on TV!" shirt and pretending(?) to snore through the sex so Dan is back to calling 'boyfriend'.
(cause 'bitch' didn't go over so well either)
so butt out.
please.
and give these kids a little space....
it's a touchy subject...
he used to call Terri his 'wife' but that pissed her off and she pulled the usual sullen housewife tricks like 'forgetting' to wash and iron Dan's favorite "I'm on TV!" shirt and pretending(?) to snore through the sex so Dan is back to calling 'boyfriend'.
(cause 'bitch' didn't go over so well either)
so butt out.
please.
and give these kids a little space....
74
I get a lot of kids too and practice a hierarchy of treating on halloween. Kids living on our street get a coloring book or stickers. Anyone in costume gets one piece of candy, even adults and pets. People who made their own costume get 2 pieces. Children who show up with no costume are presumed poor and get candy and something cheap from the 99 cent store that can be used as a 'costume'. Adults and teenagers get raisins, apples, or pencils....and they have to say 'trick or treat' to get it. Bible-nuts, who go around trying to proselytize Halloween is devil worship and try and bring me to Jeebus, get chased off with my broom.
75
Oh WOW! Dude I would have been so peeved.
However, now an adult at age 30 (with an Italian lover to boot!) I would have been jumping for joy.
However, now an adult at age 30 (with an Italian lover to boot!) I would have been jumping for joy.
77
Scholar - you ever insult Paul Lynde again, i will find you and find a way to kill you with bags of garlic.
78
candycorn is awesome, but mallow creme (?!) pumpkins are better.
when I was 14, my 13 & 15 year old friends and I dressed up and went trick or treating. we got a lot of " aren't you a little old for this?" it actually bummed us out (we liked being kids!) and we were too nice to take revenge. jerks.
that said, I like the garlic. get into it, or get tricked.
when I was 14, my 13 & 15 year old friends and I dressed up and went trick or treating. we got a lot of " aren't you a little old for this?" it actually bummed us out (we liked being kids!) and we were too nice to take revenge. jerks.
that said, I like the garlic. get into it, or get tricked.
79
Now that behavior might actually be passive-aggressive. And this time you don't actually use the term. My campaign to rid the world of the mis-definition of passive-aggressive fails again.
80
we had a grand total of 12 kids. it was a record year. some years we've had 2, or none. abandoning your street and heading to the magnet neighborhoods (cap hill, sand point country club) is bush, and so very very greedy maximizing-profits american. a nation of grifters trained from birth.
81
I think the garlic is a great idea! I also like the pats of butter, but who would give away laughing cow wedges?! Those things are GOOD!
I live kind of between the CD and the Rainier neighborhoods so we don't get much trick-or-treat traffic. Kids that do come in costume, however, are lavished with candy. Pocky, Butterfinger, Baby Ruth...
I live kind of between the CD and the Rainier neighborhoods so we don't get much trick-or-treat traffic. Kids that do come in costume, however, are lavished with candy. Pocky, Butterfinger, Baby Ruth...
82
repeated for the sheer genius: Watch out! you uncostumed teenage punks...
There's a new Sheriff on Capitol Hill!
And he's taking names and KICKING ASS!!!
well, not that but he is stewing resentfully to himself as he silently passes out HUNDREDS of DOLLARS worth of candy and he is giving out these really clever bags of garlic and even if he doesn't have the balls to say "hey- no costume no candy..." to your face his little passive-aggressive bags of garlic will do the talking for him and THEY are saying (and we quote:) "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." (The garlic says this...)
so watch yourself.
Posted by ...and don't eat that garlic before a date on November 1, 2009 at 6:18 AM
There's a new Sheriff on Capitol Hill!
And he's taking names and KICKING ASS!!!
well, not that but he is stewing resentfully to himself as he silently passes out HUNDREDS of DOLLARS worth of candy and he is giving out these really clever bags of garlic and even if he doesn't have the balls to say "hey- no costume no candy..." to your face his little passive-aggressive bags of garlic will do the talking for him and THEY are saying (and we quote:) "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." (The garlic says this...)
so watch yourself.
Posted by ...and don't eat that garlic before a date on November 1, 2009 at 6:18 AM
83
I dress up in full costume to hand out the candy (this year, a ball gown, bat wings, fangs, and a top hat) so I find it disheartening when the teenagers can't even bother to put on a mask or some facepaint.
However, my best trick-or-treater ever was, I'm guessing, a Jehovah's Witness kid. He was probably about 12, in a shirt and tie, extremely polite and articulate, and said, "Ma'am, I'm not allowed to trick-or-treat, but if you wanted to give me a piece of candy, I'd appreciate it."
Awesome. That kid's going to be O.K.
However, my best trick-or-treater ever was, I'm guessing, a Jehovah's Witness kid. He was probably about 12, in a shirt and tie, extremely polite and articulate, and said, "Ma'am, I'm not allowed to trick-or-treat, but if you wanted to give me a piece of candy, I'd appreciate it."
Awesome. That kid's going to be O.K.
85
Where I used to live it was routine for minivans to pull up full of Mexican kids from the other side of town--14, 15 of them at a time. They'd make the rounds, then go back to the van and change masks--not costumes, just masks--and come right back. It was obvious to us, and somewhat obnoxious, but what the hell, right?
Every Halloween cost me between $150-$200 in candy. We'd get 120 kids easy. And we gave candy to the teens just to avoid the egging/TPing, which definitely happened to anyone who made a fuss about a surly, uncostumed 15-yr-old ringing the bell...
Every Halloween cost me between $150-$200 in candy. We'd get 120 kids easy. And we gave candy to the teens just to avoid the egging/TPing, which definitely happened to anyone who made a fuss about a surly, uncostumed 15-yr-old ringing the bell...
87
God you people are a bunch of classist, racist motherfuckers.
I'm guessing that many of the the people complaining here are the same ones who gentrify poor neighborhoods and then send their kids to private school or white schools in North Seattle. God forbid you try to understand the culture of the neighborhood you live in and why poor teenagers trick or treat. Fuck off.
My teenage foster son never got to trick or treat as a little kid. He was to poor and his neighborhood was too dangerous. Damn right he put on a half-assed costume and got some candy this year. I'm glad he didn't go to Dan's house. Crabby, elitist old queen.
I'm guessing that many of the the people complaining here are the same ones who gentrify poor neighborhoods and then send their kids to private school or white schools in North Seattle. God forbid you try to understand the culture of the neighborhood you live in and why poor teenagers trick or treat. Fuck off.
My teenage foster son never got to trick or treat as a little kid. He was to poor and his neighborhood was too dangerous. Damn right he put on a half-assed costume and got some candy this year. I'm glad he didn't go to Dan's house. Crabby, elitist old queen.
88
Yay for Gentrification! Lots of homeowners have made a great profit off of their homes, and went on to live in places they actually wanted to live in. The new residents have improved the diversity of the neighborhood, and worked to get the infrastructure improved. It's a win-win for everyone - except bitchy strident foster parents looking for something to be angry about.
89
@ 85 I still don't get it... 120 kids and 150-200 bucks... that getting on to a buck and a half a kid. since you can buy an entire BAG of Halloween candy for 3 bucks easy that's half a bag per kid.
really?!
really?!
90
I've lived in Greenlake for three years now, and we've never had a single trick-or-treater. We turn the porch lights on and light up our jackolanterns, but still no kids.
Where do they all go? U-Village?
Where do they all go? U-Village?
91
Whenever a kid comes to my door on Halloween and isn't wearing a costume, I beat them to death with a sock full of quarters.
92
@90 I lived in Greenlake last year and we only had 7 trick or treaters. We were the only house on the block even decorated so I am not surprised no one came down our street. Neighborhoods in Seattle don't get into Halloween like other places do for some reason.
93
"God you people are a bunch of classist, racist motherfuckers.
I'm guessing that many of the the people complaining here are the same ones who gentrify poor neighborhoods and then send their kids to private school or white schools in North Seattle. God forbid you try to understand the culture of the neighborhood you live in and why poor teenagers trick or treat."
B.S. First of all what is worse "gentrifying" poor neighborhoods or shooting them up? Funny, some people are angry at having white neighbors who are good people. Giving 12-13 year olds a hard time for not being costumed might be mean. But 15 or older? No way. Really, candy corns are not a necessity. Like I said in another post I worked on Broadway and would have 30-something year olds demanding I give em something- no costume, no kids. And no, they weren't homeless. If snickers actually had nutritional value you might have a valid point, or if someone looked like they hadn't eatten a good meal lately. Since neither is the case you are just using reality as another excuse to demonize people as bigots
I'm guessing that many of the the people complaining here are the same ones who gentrify poor neighborhoods and then send their kids to private school or white schools in North Seattle. God forbid you try to understand the culture of the neighborhood you live in and why poor teenagers trick or treat."
B.S. First of all what is worse "gentrifying" poor neighborhoods or shooting them up? Funny, some people are angry at having white neighbors who are good people. Giving 12-13 year olds a hard time for not being costumed might be mean. But 15 or older? No way. Really, candy corns are not a necessity. Like I said in another post I worked on Broadway and would have 30-something year olds demanding I give em something- no costume, no kids. And no, they weren't homeless. If snickers actually had nutritional value you might have a valid point, or if someone looked like they hadn't eatten a good meal lately. Since neither is the case you are just using reality as another excuse to demonize people as bigots
94
"God you people are a bunch of classist, racist motherfuckers"
ALL THEY SAID WAS THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE CANDY TO 19 YEAR OLDS WHO CAME TO THE DOOR COSTUME-LESS. Really, lighten up. And save that rhetoric for the next Socialist Alternative meeting
ALL THEY SAID WAS THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE CANDY TO 19 YEAR OLDS WHO CAME TO THE DOOR COSTUME-LESS. Really, lighten up. And save that rhetoric for the next Socialist Alternative meeting
95
94 - because Dan is a self-righteous shitpacker and feels like he has to 'blog' about it inbetween his nonstop barrage of wanting you to vote for Mayor 'MAD RADs new cokebuddy' Mcginn
96
I live in the same neighborhood, and I just love how the place goes off on Halloween. Really, I couldn't care less if the kids don't have a costume, or forget to say thank you, or someone grabs an extra box of hot tamales or whatever.
It's Halloween, and it's awesome!
It's Halloween, and it's awesome!
97
we always give little pre-made bags to people who are dressed up, and single, crappier candies to non-costumed kids.
but i think i like your method more, Dan.
but i think i like your method more, Dan.
99
# 74 should read "Adults and teenagers not in costume get raisins, apples, or pencils....and they have to say 'trick or treat' to get it."
100
"God you people are a bunch of classist, racist motherfuckers"
Speaking of bigots, I just saw the cover of the Seattle Medium. Their voting guides suggests that the black community vote NO on 71.
Go rant on those bigots why don't you?
Speaking of bigots, I just saw the cover of the Seattle Medium. Their voting guides suggests that the black community vote NO on 71.
Go rant on those bigots why don't you?
101
When tending bar one year on Hallowe'en, I gave kids without costumes scoops of ice, right into their bags. Many had paper bags, and they were pissed.
It must run in the family.
It must run in the family.
102
My neighborhood (in Atlanta) mostly has trick-or-treating kids who are first-generation Americans with recently-immigrated, usually-non-English-speaking parents. Around half the kids of all ages who come to our house don't have costumes; I've always chalked it up to parents' lack of enthusiasm/interest/understanding of the American Halloween Affair. Of course, any elementary-school-age kid that shows up at my house gets a great big handful, costume or not.
The tough thing, though, is that for every 7-year-old without a costume, there's a 13-year-old without one too. At what point do young teenagers in my neighborhood stop getting credit (and thus, candy) even without a costume? I'd love to do the garlic thing, or the butter or the condoms or any of the other ideas in this thread, but I'm not sure where to cut off.
The tough thing, though, is that for every 7-year-old without a costume, there's a 13-year-old without one too. At what point do young teenagers in my neighborhood stop getting credit (and thus, candy) even without a costume? I'd love to do the garlic thing, or the butter or the condoms or any of the other ideas in this thread, but I'm not sure where to cut off.
103
There's a great Curb Your Enthusiasm where the plot unfolds from Larry's confrontation with a couple teenagers, not dressed up, trick or treating at his house. Season 2 episode 3. I actually didn't know that this was actually a common thing
104
I asked a coupla teens what they were dressed up as .... they were in boring street clothes. They said "pimps". I said.... well, you're not very convincing.
105
I handed out ten potatoes to kids without costumes, but I did drop an individually wrapped gumball into the sack in order to "palm" the potato in.
These potatoes were well past their use by date, too.
I love the garlic, I might wrap rocks with messages like that next year.
These potatoes were well past their use by date, too.
I love the garlic, I might wrap rocks with messages like that next year.
106
I don't mind the teenagers so much, but in my area (the Bronx) we get tons of full fledged adults. Some of them come whilst pregnant and say it's for their unborn child (I guess their fetus is rooting for gestational diabetes). Others come holding their poor little newborns (fo' serious, I want to contact child services). Some are just fat people with no shame (this year we saw a gigantic woman who walked around in a bathrobe and curlers...we still haven't decided if it was a costume or not).
My family purchases shitty candy like Mary Janes and circus peanuts and gives that to the adults. One newborner actually had the balls to ask for a Snickers instead. I told her that I'd give her kid Snickers when he could digest peanuts and chocolate. Where is the shame? I haven't Trick or Treated (except with my old enough to do so daughter) since grade school. We always just "accidentally" forget to give out a bag.
My family purchases shitty candy like Mary Janes and circus peanuts and gives that to the adults. One newborner actually had the balls to ask for a Snickers instead. I told her that I'd give her kid Snickers when he could digest peanuts and chocolate. Where is the shame? I haven't Trick or Treated (except with my old enough to do so daughter) since grade school. We always just "accidentally" forget to give out a bag.
107
Nice one, Dan. I wouldn't give anyone - of ANY age - sweets at Hallowe'en if they hadn't bothered to dress up and make an occasion of it. Otherwise, they're just random kids going around begging for candy, and if that's the case they can fuck right off. And to get all pissy when you actually state upfront 'no costume, no candy'? Sheesh. Something is wrong.
Those kids who come to your door and complain their parents are too poor to buy them costumes might want to try not feeling sorry for themselves, and (depending on age) getting JOBS. Their parents need to teach them basic manners and some pride, and that other people aren't obliged to subsidise their sorry asses.
Those kids who come to your door and complain their parents are too poor to buy them costumes might want to try not feeling sorry for themselves, and (depending on age) getting JOBS. Their parents need to teach them basic manners and some pride, and that other people aren't obliged to subsidise their sorry asses.
108
@Christin: My husband is a first generation immigrant (he came from Russia at 5) and he NEVER trick or treated at all. If families know enough to take their kids around they know that the kids are supposed to wear costumes. As for the cutoff, I'm pretty generous with young teens (if they dress up), but if they are old enough to drive they are old enough to a)have a job and b)drive to the store and buy their own damn candy.
109
You seem to misunderstand the point of Halloween. You're lucky your house hasn't been egged yet. The candy is a bribe to ward off the evil spirits of wayward youth and wayward hobgoblins and ghosts.
111
No one is too poor to have a costume.
There are tons of things you can do using your everyday clothes, random stuff you have laying around the house, and maybe a little bit of makeup. I saw a kid this weekend wearing brown clothes inside a cardboard box that he'd cut and drawn on to make it look like a tow truck. Not terribly convincing, but a clear effort. Someone else wore an oversized (dad's?) white tshirt stuffed with other shirts or socks or something -- marshmallow. All you need for a Halloween costume is a little bit of imagination.
Too poor, my ass.
There are tons of things you can do using your everyday clothes, random stuff you have laying around the house, and maybe a little bit of makeup. I saw a kid this weekend wearing brown clothes inside a cardboard box that he'd cut and drawn on to make it look like a tow truck. Not terribly convincing, but a clear effort. Someone else wore an oversized (dad's?) white tshirt stuffed with other shirts or socks or something -- marshmallow. All you need for a Halloween costume is a little bit of imagination.
Too poor, my ass.
112
I had early-high-schooled aged pals who dressed up and trick or treated...and asked me to join them. I just couldn't. I felt too old.
So I put on my mom's heavy long wool coat and went with them...and was "mom". Stayed at the end of the lane at each house while they went and got their treats. And had a great time. No candy at the end of the night but candy's never really been my thing.
As a kid, though, I lived a block from the Brach family...the ones who manufacture those nougat-fruit gel things, after dinner mints, all the good bridge mix 'n' stuff. And yes, at their house you got a whole BAG of their candy...a pound or more of it. Bless the Brachs!
So I put on my mom's heavy long wool coat and went with them...and was "mom". Stayed at the end of the lane at each house while they went and got their treats. And had a great time. No candy at the end of the night but candy's never really been my thing.
As a kid, though, I lived a block from the Brach family...the ones who manufacture those nougat-fruit gel things, after dinner mints, all the good bridge mix 'n' stuff. And yes, at their house you got a whole BAG of their candy...a pound or more of it. Bless the Brachs!
113
I went out trick or treating until I was at least 17, with a whole bunch of friends, but we'd always get majorly dressed up and never went too late. So does Dan give actual candy to teens who are in costume?
114
@6 isn't that a flavor at Dunkin Donuts?
Tame idea Dan, but decent motive. Hand out dora the explorer halloween stickers with every candy and really drive the point home. No kid over 10 would be caught dead with Dora stickers.
*reverts to age 18 and cackles: Muhahaha*
though @14 has a point. Seattle has enough passiveagress: just call em on it / give them a hint: "Hey kids, a little old to be trick or treating without at least a younger sister, aren't you?" or "Nice pillowcase; Gimme that. I've got some scissors *snip snip* There you go! Finished that ghost costume for you".
@18: aces. Totally in the spirit of it all, too.
@28: hungry? no. stoned maybe.
@42: excellent rationale. As usual. *tip of the hat*
@87: classist? racist? To be pissy about greedy kids showing no imagination on a fabulous day to express all your creativity? No, no no.
But dan a crabby old queen?: yeah, he does backpedal into that, for sure.
Ultimately, I believe karma wins the day: you get out of it what you put in: I like Kim In Portland's point (and I often do, so thanks Kim for being smart n' shit) - have fun and enjoy the glimpse into your own childhood, however long ago it was
Tame idea Dan, but decent motive. Hand out dora the explorer halloween stickers with every candy and really drive the point home. No kid over 10 would be caught dead with Dora stickers.
*reverts to age 18 and cackles: Muhahaha*
though @14 has a point. Seattle has enough passiveagress: just call em on it / give them a hint: "Hey kids, a little old to be trick or treating without at least a younger sister, aren't you?" or "Nice pillowcase; Gimme that. I've got some scissors *snip snip* There you go! Finished that ghost costume for you".
@18: aces. Totally in the spirit of it all, too.
@28: hungry? no. stoned maybe.
@42: excellent rationale. As usual. *tip of the hat*
@87: classist? racist? To be pissy about greedy kids showing no imagination on a fabulous day to express all your creativity? No, no no.
But dan a crabby old queen?: yeah, he does backpedal into that, for sure.
Ultimately, I believe karma wins the day: you get out of it what you put in: I like Kim In Portland's point (and I often do, so thanks Kim for being smart n' shit) - have fun and enjoy the glimpse into your own childhood, however long ago it was
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