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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Politics The Idiot! Two Toots for Mallahan!

Posted by Adrian Ryan on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 2:31 PM

~~Dan Savage~~ Somebody I’ve never met before or heard about in my life ~~hunted me down~~ approached me recently and said, “Adrian Ryan! Stop loving Mallahan so much… you’re ruining The SLOG!”

Ruining The SLOG? Little ME? By loving Joe Mallahan?

Well, if wanting to have Joe Mallahan’s man babies (and his money) is ruining The SLOG, well, I don’t wanna NOT ruin The SLOG. Or something…

As you may or may not recall, I—quite starved for pertinent, personal, character-defining information on Mr. Mallahan (my goodness, how he hides from we press folk!)—sent out a loud and clear cry for random Mallahan related minutiae from the general public at large recently. (Remember?) In response, I got an overwhelming flood of fascinating Mallahan-related emails! Of all two of them that came flooding in, the following one is my…well, not favorite…but it sure is my something...

“Dear Adrian, I worked with the Idiot for three years at T-Mobile. He farted in front of me, twice. It was really loud both times. Thank you.” Signed, Can You Hear Me Now?

I’m pretty sure that “Can You Hear Me Now” was just somebody on SLOG trying to fuck with me, Joe, and our weird and eternal love (all signs point to Lindy West), but how can we know for sure? How? How? HOW?!

Joe Mallahan. Zero votes, zero town halls, zero campaign volunteers; two alleged loud farts. Seattle: Meet your Mayor!

Comments (8) RSS

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I thought you'd be holding a candlelight vigil outside of Joe's home, as he is stricken with a rather severe case of the flu.

Posted by Baconcat on October 28, 2009 at 2:33 PM

Methinks the editor doth project too much.

Posted by w7ngman

on October 28, 2009 at 2:57 PM

"You're ruining the SLOG!"

Too late.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 28, 2009 at 3:06 PM

We will indeed welcome him with open arms!

Thanks Adrian!

Posted by Reality Check

on October 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM

@4: So you're voting for Mallahan?

Oh wait, you can't.

Posted by Baconcat on October 28, 2009 at 3:13 PM

Mallahan is not that well hung if you are wondering Adrian

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on October 28, 2009 at 3:16 PM

Farts just mean he has a more plant-based diet. Which is plus points on the vegan voter scale ....

Still voted for McGinn anyway, since he promised to set Giant Crocodiles on the Tunnel.

Posted by Will in Seattle