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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Religion / Teh Internets At Last! We Have Invented the Afterlife!

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 4:58 PM

We understand how difficult it can be for people to be reminded of those who are no longer with them, which is why it's important when someone passes away that their friends or family contact Facebook to request that a profile be memorialized. For instance, just last week, we introduced new types of Suggestions that appear on the right-hand side of the home page and remind people to take actions with friends who need help on Facebook. By memorializing the account of someone who has passed away, people will no longer see that person appear in their Suggestions.

When an account is memorialized, we also set privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile or locate it in search. We try to protect the deceased's privacy by removing sensitive information such as contact information and status updates. Memorializing an account also prevents anyone from logging into it in the future, while still enabling friends and family to leave posts on the profile Wall in remembrance.

Forget about My Death Space; Facebook has just ensured that we won't be haunted by phantoms from the past. They have also made it so the dead will make no new friends. They have rendered impermeable the gates of heaven. Facebook is forever.

Comments (13) RSS

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Hmm. Interesting, but then why does Madame Crow still exist and still have activity on FB, even though my son Ian has her whiteboard and she is no longer part of this mortal coil ....

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 27, 2009 at 5:05 PM

I am starting to feel like I may be the only 20-something without a Facebook account.

Posted by Dee on October 27, 2009 at 5:26 PM

i like this idea. a good friend of mine died this past friday, and it is oddly comforting to go to his FB account and see the stuff written. i'm not a believer in the afterlife, but it felt good to know that people are thinking of him.

Posted by konstantConsumer

on October 27, 2009 at 5:29 PM

There is no Heaven or Hell, but the dead can still play Mafia Wars.

Posted by Mahtli69 on October 27, 2009 at 5:37 PM

Paul, darling... have you been drinking some of Charles' "special" juice? This post sounds suspiciously Muedede-y.

Posted by singing cynic on October 27, 2009 at 5:41 PM

@5. Agreed, I had to scroll back up and see who the author was... :>

I wonder how they confirm that the person is, in fact, dead. Presumably, there needs to be some sort of process to ensure that someone isn't just memorializing the page as a joke.

Also, the "new types of Suggestions" just suggested that I help my dad find more friends. That was sort of depressing.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on October 27, 2009 at 5:56 PM

I didn't see the need for Facebook but decided to "join" - my family is mortified and my son warned me not to ask to be added to his friend list (he'll refuse). It's nice to know I could "kill" myself on Facebook and see what kind of reaction it brings.... Instead of just letting the account drift to a digital death.

Posted by Jaymz on October 27, 2009 at 6:19 PM

Just like Geocities was forever!

Posted by Peter F on October 27, 2009 at 7:22 PM

I heard Fnarf was dead.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 27, 2009 at 7:36 PM

@5 @6 I know!

Posted by wisepunk on October 27, 2009 at 7:50 PM

When I die, I don't want my social networking sites to list me as "dead" or "memorialized" or whatever... I want to keep on keepin on in the social networking afterlife! Like a cyber-zombie or something (is it ok to use the word "cyber" again?). I wanna be like Tupac... far more popular AFTER death than before.

What a strange world it is.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 27, 2009 at 9:08 PM

More importantly, once "memorialized" no-goodnick commie news reporters (like Paul & his comrades at Das Stränger) won't be able to quote that part on the deceased's FaceBook page where he laughed about going on a murder/suicide killing spree "any day now" because of the horrible changes to his NewsFeed!

(No more "Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K" moments for YOU, nosy reporters, you!!)

Posted by Timrrr on October 28, 2009 at 2:20 AM