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Friday, October 23, 2009

Politics / City The Idiot! Africans are People Too!

Posted by Adrian Ryan on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 4:39 PM

Last night My Future Husband, the super-seckshee toaster-headed dream (and money) machine Joe “I’m gonna buy Seattle if it kills me” Mallhands had an unfortunate moment. He said…something. During another debate. Something that all the miserable so-called “pundits” (if you’ll pardon the expression) and hyper-sensitive so-called “wonks” (as it were) and (worst of all) "commentors" will surely pounce on like a chicken on a wounded worm. Like Nancy Grace on a tube of under-eye cream. Like Glenn Beck on a Spam-and-lies sandwich.

You know which unfortunate moment I’m talking about.

The issue under discussion was Southeast Seattle. (Who knew Seattle even had a Southeast? I ask you.) GANGS, to be more specific. KRIPS. Bloods. Krippy-krippy blood-bloods. BANG! BANG! Well.

Joe got a little distracted, as he tends to do (it’s so ADORABLE!), and started naming a whole bunch of allegedly “black” (in a manner of speaking) people who support him. Out of the clear blue sky! Now: before you jump up and yell “RACIST BASTARD!” allow me to explain.

Remember the other night, that other debate, when McGinn or whoever kept pounding poor Joe’s balls to the wall about his big-money connections to the tunnel project? Well, Joe’s sweet little mind just wandered way off over into into la-la land and he started blabbering on about how popular he is, and how super-endorsed-by-everybody he is (which is true), isn’t it? Yes. EXACT. SAME. THING. Joe Mallahan wasn’t being racist. (Perish the notion.) He just got distracted again! And started talking about who loves him! Like he always does! And this time it just happened to be a whole bunch of black people who love him! (And who can blame them?) Like I said…ADORABLE.

Okay. Then he called all these allegedly black alleged supporters AFRICANS. Africans! "'Africans' endorse my candidacy,” he said about them.

People! JESUS! Relax!

That was no Kramer-esque Freudian slip. He just wanted you to understand—because he is forward-thinking, specific, and detail oriented (when he’s distracted)—that not all black people are AFRICAN AMERICAN. Some people of color come from Jamaica or something. And, of course (don’t be absurd!), not all people of African decent are African AMERICANS. Some of them live in Mexico (Afro-Mexicans), and some live in England (Afro-Anglicans or something). Did The Cosby Show teach us NOTHING? I ask you.

So. Not racist. Adorable. Got that?

I love you, Joe Mallahan!

Comments (20) RSS

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Thank GOD Mallahan is going to win. The Stranger would be lost for the next four years without a schtick and it looks like you've found one that fits you comfortably. How would you ever pivot from worshiping at the altar of St. McGinn to your preferred position of snarky somewhat-loyal opposition? I look forward to four (or eight!) years of The Idiot! (which, by the way, totally cops from Publicola's OMG! Obama)!

Posted by More Pie on October 23, 2009 at 5:33 PM

Every time Adrian writes mocking politics, the target goes up in the polls.

Adrian, remember, it is Approve 71. If you vote No on 71, you vote with the bigots.

Just sayin'.

Posted by Clyde on October 23, 2009 at 6:10 PM

Adrian, you're adorable. Enjoy the Mallahan administration. I know I will. Once Susan Hutchison sows Republican, free-market chaos about the county, we'll recall these tiny malaprop moments as gay, charming banter among friends.

Posted by Mouth Agape on October 23, 2009 at 6:23 PM

Holy crap, you sound like Glen Beck. Get McGinn's dick out of your collective mouths.

Holy fuck Stranger, you suck this time around.

Posted by sadstateofaffairsatthestranger on October 23, 2009 at 7:35 PM

We're all Africans today.

Posted by Original Andrew on October 23, 2009 at 7:43 PM

Looks like the Mallahan Imperial Bizno-fellatio Clusterfuck is gonna be real hoot!

He'll be so poised, he'll make Gerald Ford look like a freakin' ballerina.

Posted by Original Andrew on October 23, 2009 at 7:47 PM

www.twitter.com/mallapropisms

Posted by mallapropisms on October 23, 2009 at 8:49 PM

Hey, anyone remember when Mallahan was asked how to get from 23rd and Union at the Reverb debate? His answer involved I-5. The crowd booed their asses off.

Posted by WR on October 23, 2009 at 10:41 PM

Correction: 23rd & Union to Ballard.

Posted by WR on October 23, 2009 at 10:42 PM

It was not a Freudian slip, it was pure unadulterated racism.

Whites, especially monied Whites, know the difference between Africans, and African-Americans, and the real African-Americans who are Africa born.

An African is an African, not Afro-Mexican.

The speaker knew what he was saying, and he was speaking in White code, dismissing Afrimericans, and embracing Africans, presumably Black Africans because they are referenced as being more amendable to White s sensibilities, and not seen by Whites in as negative a light as U.S. born Blacks.

The writer of this article I guess is White, and has fallen into one of the biggest traps Whites project onto Afrimericans, or Blacks in general, which is to name what the race is or isn't, and usually without full knowledge of what they are talking about, and worse, they ignore Afrimericans view of the matter.

The act on the part of the writer, and on his subject was racist, be it accidental, or by intent, because it either marginalized, and/or disappeared a whole race.

Posted by AFRIMERICAN on October 23, 2009 at 11:03 PM

Perhaps Joe is talking about Africans. I am AA, and know a lot of Africans in SE Seattle. Might want to come down and visit sometime. It IS a part of Seattle, you know.

Posted by Fitz on October 23, 2009 at 11:23 PM

Or maybe he meant Africans. There's a group called the Unuted Africans PAC of WA that endorsed him.

http://uapac.org/?p=707

When did yellow journalism become the norm at the Slog?

Posted by TJ on October 23, 2009 at 11:30 PM

Correction - United African Political Affairs Committee of WA State

Posted by TJ on October 23, 2009 at 11:32 PM

@ 12 you mean they endorsed McGinn, right?

Posted by NumberOne on October 24, 2009 at 7:13 AM

@9 Why was he booed? Maybe he didn't want to get stuck in that U District traffic which is understandable. Montlake can get pretty gnarly around 5, especially if you have to head down Pacific Ave. I have jumped on 5 from Cherry when I used to live on 26th and Union plenty of times to take 85th or else if 5 was really bad I would cut down from Denny and head up along Elliot to Market.

Either way it doesn't matter which route he travels. I voted for McGinn.

Posted by NumberOne on October 24, 2009 at 7:38 AM

@15

1. Bus 48 & 44
2. Bus 2 & 15

Posted by seattlerik on October 24, 2009 at 8:36 AM

So, anyone The Stranger disagrees with is now an idiot. How mature.

Posted by the analyst on October 24, 2009 at 10:04 AM

It's like how impressed Susan Hutchison's staff was at her ability to communicate with minorities. Where was the Huh? at that statement.

Posted by westello on October 24, 2009 at 10:24 AM

"Africans' endorse my candidacy"
We've definitely learned that you know the proper use of an exclamation point. Now please work on using apostrophes correctly as well.
Signed, your long-suffering readership.

Posted by -ink on October 24, 2009 at 7:13 PM

Here's an idea; lets declare a moratorium on white people telling other white people how racist they are.

And Adrian; I know it's a blog posting but you might want to let someone give your posts a quick scan before you hit enter.

Posted by codswallower on October 26, 2009 at 12:18 AM