This Idaho woman got upset that her four-year-old took out a 183-page young adult book with a cartoon naked lady on the front cover and the word "smart-ass" on the back. She's trying to—yawn—get the book banned from the library.

In lieu of the removal of "How to Get Suspended," Gering said she would like to see warning labels on potentially offensive children's books.

"We do that with movies, why don't we do that with books?" she said. "I think (the book is) completely inappropriate, and I wouldn't let a 13-year-old read it. I know they have other things like that in the library, but I think they should be removed. Unrefined — that means crude. Anything like that is disgusting. I think the people of Nampa need to decide what they want in their library."

Here's what I wonder about these sorts of people. When they discover these books in the library or school, the books that are for some reason so offensive that they're willing to complain to the press and the mayor and everyone they meet: Do they have a moment before this media maelstrom starts where they go into the bathroom, look at their own eyes in the mirror, and think to themselves "Yes. I am about to become that person," or does it just happen? Do they know they're the same person as every other person who has tried to ban a book? Or do they think they are special? I've read dozens of these stories in the last two years, and I've never determined a difference between any of these people. They're always the exact same fucking asshole, every goddamned time.