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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

At Large Mysteries of Pullman, Part 3

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 4:03 PM

The beer selection at Rico's Pub is surprisingly awesome.

It doesn't take much to make the front page of the Moscow-Pullman Daily News.

The former president—long deceased—of WSU looks a lot like that guy on Seinfeld (who wound up hosting Family Feud) crossed with Ted Danson (who is totally hilarious on Bored to Death). In a related development Shelley Long, who starred on Cheers with Danson, was totally hilarious on Modern Family, which is totally hilarious.

UPDATE: Dom says that this dead president looks like someone threw Bill Clinton and Dave Reichert's sperm together in a supercollider and impregnated Barbara Bush. In a related development, it is four o'clock and we are drinking.

UPDATE 2: Dom insists that I have to write "Bill Clinton's sperm and Dave Reichert's sperm" or else it will be read as their mutual sperm being thrown together—the sperm from their shared testes—which would, of course, be redundant. Because, you see, if Clinton and Reichert shared testes you wouldn't have to throw their sperm together because it would arrive pre-mixed. I disagree with Dom. I think it's clear that Clinton and Reichert are autonomous individuals, males both, who would, perforce, possess two sets of testes, two scrotums, and two urethras between them, and that a reasonable person would understand "Bill Clinton and Dave Reichert's sperm" as a reference to two loads blown that had been combined, not one load that Clinton and Reichert were somehow mutually responsible for blowing. I further assert that Dom underestimates your intelligence, dear reader. And what of the supercollider? Hm? Dom?

Comments (32) RSS

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"pros and cons of equal rights ballot measure"

What a thing to debate. But at least they described R-71 correctly here.

Posted by V on October 21, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Dom says that this dead president looks like someone threw Bill Clinton and Dave Reichert's sperm together in a supercollider and impregnated Barbara Bush. In a related development, it is four o'clock and we are drinking.

Niiiiiiiiiice.

Posted by cw on October 21, 2009 at 4:13 PM

Ted Danson is also hilarious on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Great episode this week.

Posted by left coast on October 21, 2009 at 4:13 PM

I think there is some drinking going on.

Posted by kim in portland

on October 21, 2009 at 4:19 PM

i think you're high, not drunk

Posted by Max Solomon on October 21, 2009 at 4:19 PM

If anything, I would have read it as "Bill Clinton" (all of him) and "Dave Reichert's sperm" (sperm only).

Posted by alicepenguin on October 21, 2009 at 4:20 PM

shouldn't it be "scrota"?

"urethrae"?

Posted by Valkyrie on October 21, 2009 at 4:20 PM

WSU is a party school. Of course they've got good beer.

Posted by Gitai on October 21, 2009 at 4:21 PM

That Silver Fox is totally hungover.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot on October 21, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Pullman is in the same time zone?

Posted by I'm 85 Years Old on October 21, 2009 at 4:27 PM

The dead prez totally looks like a stoned Ted Dansen. I can see a little Reichert in there, but he and Dansen could be brothers.

Posted by Enigma

on October 21, 2009 at 4:34 PM

Ted Danson is an enemy to The Bac'

Posted by Baconcat on October 21, 2009 at 4:38 PM

I thought the supercollider was breaking itself due to the time effect ... so does that maybe explain the shared testes aspect?

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 21, 2009 at 4:45 PM

Damn, you're in Pullman? If i would have know I would have tracked you down! It's not as bad as you paint it (really the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express is where you decide to judge the culture of a place?) Anyways, i think i would shit myself if I walked into Rico's and saw Dan Savage. Amazing.

Posted by longball on October 21, 2009 at 4:45 PM

Oh, and... Go see the grizzly Bears out towards the airport. They feed them at about 4:30 and they go totally bananas. It's what we do for fun when the taps run dry at Rico's.

Posted by longball on October 21, 2009 at 4:53 PM

"perforce"? That's a boozy argument word if ever there was.

Posted by smade on October 21, 2009 at 5:12 PM

Sounds like everybody's getting pretty nicely toasted. I can't wait for Part 4.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on October 21, 2009 at 5:26 PM

Ted Danson, who has always been likable but never inspired, is an epiphany on Bored To Death. After watching the premiere, I thought the series was going to be we're-so-subtly-clever-and-hip until it imploded on its own smarm. Turns out to be a lot more clever and subtle and, thankfully, not so fucking hip after all. I like that a lot.

Posted by Bauhaus I on October 21, 2009 at 5:31 PM

UPDATE 3: Wee aaaare no w to tdtunk-- drunnkk to pooost . g' nighht evvevryonne!!1

Posted by treacle on October 21, 2009 at 5:35 PM

Yay Rico's!

Don't leave town without having ordered a 26-incher from Pizza Perfection, preferably at 2:30 am after getting REALLY high.

Posted by laterite on October 21, 2009 at 5:52 PM

I think every "good" coug remembers Ricos.

Posted by wisepunk on October 21, 2009 at 6:03 PM

As a note from us in Pullman via Western Washington's academically motivated diaspora: Rico's has the ONLY good beer (priced like they dropped a nugget of gold in it), we use the Moscow-Pullman Daily for rain gear/to keep sex off of our fine upholstery, and if you think our old presidents are of the fugly variety, you should see babies born here.

Anywho, thank you so much for helping us push Referendum 71 out here. I always love hearing you speak.

Swimmingly,
T. Harms

Posted by Om nom nom on October 21, 2009 at 6:27 PM

Mmmmmmm, Black Butte Porter...

Posted by very bad homo on October 21, 2009 at 6:33 PM

I like your taste in beer, very bad homo.

Posted by kim in portland

on October 21, 2009 at 7:01 PM

Dan and Dom's Excellent Adventure-

cue to the hotel bed scene from "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"...

Posted by ick on October 21, 2009 at 7:21 PM

What, no thanks for telling you earlier to STAY AWAY FROM THE FOOD AT RICO'S?!

Ungrateful louts.

Posted by TVDinner

on October 21, 2009 at 7:33 PM

Isn't it scrota, since scrotum is a neuter noun?

Posted by chunnamark on October 21, 2009 at 10:02 PM

Actually, you want to write "Bill Clinton's and Dave Reichert's sperm", not "Bill Clinton and Dave Reichert's sperm". Grammatically, yeah, the latter means that the sperm belongs to both Clinton and Reichert. Dom wins. What do I win?

Posted by YTAH

on October 21, 2009 at 10:54 PM

Nice to see the Palouse get a little attention.

I grew up in Moscow in the 70-80s, and I gotta say, between the Mormons in the south and the Aryan Nation dipshits up in Hayden Lake, Moscow-Pullman was (and hopefully still is) an oasis of some sorts.

Go Bears, Go Vandals!

Posted by drewl on October 21, 2009 at 11:56 PM

Also bonus points to anyone who remembers "Karl Marks' Pizza" out on Hwy 8.

Posted by drewl on October 22, 2009 at 12:05 AM

@1: Good point. I know if it was the Green Bay newspaper, the editors would phrase it as "the gay measure." I have faith that the voters in Washington State will be a little more fair-minded than Wisconsin (we had the same thing three years ago).

Posted by Winspur