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Monday, October 19, 2009

Death / Animals / History On Bears, Part III of III

Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 12:51 PM

This is Hugh Glass before.

PART III: HUGH GLASS, RELUCTANT PIRATE

This is my favorite bear attack story of all time. Hugh Glass was a hella grizzled frontiersman—"a sailor, a reluctant pirate with Jean Lafitte, and an honorary Pawnee"—whose hella-grizzledness helped him survive the most badass ordeal in the history of asses:

Near the forks of the Grand River in present-day Perkins County, in August 1823, while scouting alone for game for the expedition's larder, Glass surprised a Grizzly mother bear with her two cubs. Before he could fire his rifle, the bear charged, picked him up, and threw him to the ground. Glass got up, grappled for his knife, and fought back, stabbing the animal repeatedly as the grizzly raked him time and again with her claws.

Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness. He did so only to find himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment, suffering from a broken leg, the cuts on his back exposing bare ribs, and all his wounds festering. Glass lay mutilated and alone, more than 200 mi (320 km) from the nearest settlement at Fort Kiowa on the Missouri.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THEN, HUGH GLASS?

AND THIS IS HUGH GLASS AFTER.

In one of the more remarkable treks known to history, Glass set his own leg, wrapped himself in the bear hide his companions had placed over him as a shroud, and began crawling. To prevent gangrene, Glass laid his wounded back on a rotting log and let the maggots eat the dead flesh.

Deciding that following the Grand River would be too dangerous because of hostile Native Americans, Glass crawled overland south toward the Cheyenne River. It took him six weeks to reach it.

Glass survived mostly on wild berries and roots. On one occasion he was able to drive two wolves from a downed bison calf, and feast on the meat. Reaching the Cheyenne, he fashioned a crude raft and floated down the river, navigating using the prominent Thunder Butte landmark. Aided by friendly natives who sewed a bear hide to his back to cover the exposed wounds, Glass eventually reached the safety of Fort Kiowa.

That's all. No biggie.

Comments (16) RSS

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There are a couple of great books on Mr. Glass. I believe a movie is currently in production that details his revenge on the trappers who left him behind to die from his wounds.

Posted by slaggy

on October 19, 2009 at 12:56 PM

I am an expert in the field of raft-making and if you ever have any questions or concerns regarding the field of raft-making, please feel free to contact me. If your questions or concerns have anything to do with dead-flesh-eating maggots, please do not hesitate to not contact me. Thank you.

Posted by Josh Bomb

on October 19, 2009 at 12:58 PM

Wow, he was pretty prejudiced against Native Americans. Maybe if he hadn't had nazi symbols tattoed on his arm he could have gone into their neighborhood.

Posted by Charma on October 19, 2009 at 1:03 PM

His cut was from the "bear crack". Seriously..bears will bounce on you CPR-style to break up your ribs and make you more digestible.

Posted by julie russell

on October 19, 2009 at 1:12 PM

@1 - Are you serious about the revenge movie? I had the same thought, that he survived because of a burning desire to kick their butts.

Posted by oh, THAT on October 19, 2009 at 2:35 PM

Yep, the film is based on this historical novel...The Revenant: A Novel of Revenge.

Posted by slaggy

on October 19, 2009 at 3:04 PM

This guy was obviously a total pussy.

Posted by TVDinner

on October 19, 2009 at 3:18 PM

City life done made y'all SOFT!

Posted by treacle on October 19, 2009 at 4:33 PM

when hugh glass falls in water, he doesnt get wet. the water gets hugh glass.

Posted by gnr8r

on October 19, 2009 at 4:48 PM

when hugh glass falls in water, he doesnt get wet. the water gets hugh glass.

Posted by gnr8r

on October 19, 2009 at 5:22 PM

I don't think dead-wood-eating maggots also eat dead-man-flesh. Different maggots. In fact it would be termites in a rotting log. Please feel free to contact me with all your questions and concerns regarding maggots, larvae and their respective diets. Thank you and good day.

Posted by St. Beretta on October 19, 2009 at 5:37 PM

Perhaps termites are happier with drier wood, and this was a soggy thing he put his back against? At any rate, maggots must eat something when there's no dead flesh around. It's not like they can hop directly from one dead animal to another in normal conditions.

Posted by lythea on October 19, 2009 at 8:02 PM

Grizzly is nothing, imagine wrestling Lindy West for the last slice of pepperoni. Shit. I'd rather deal with a Grizzly.

Posted by Tricyclic on October 19, 2009 at 10:42 PM

This whole "maggot question" was once the subject of an important experiment. Scientists long thought that maggots would spring forth directly from rotting flesh, in a process known as "spontaneous generation." When they finally got around to sticking a fresh carcass in an air-tight box, though, the whole theory turned out to be bogus.

So where do maggots come from? Well, if you've ever seen a roadkill, you know that dead bodies are soon crawling with flies. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Posted by Furcifer on October 20, 2009 at 12:18 AM

Don't fuck with Uncle Hugh when he's been drinkin'.

Posted by CP on October 20, 2009 at 6:23 PM

I read sometime ago a well researched and written article on the survival ordeal of Hugh Glass, that he had related to other mountain men that he had awakened to a bear licking the festering wounds on his back; he laid as still as he could until the bear moved on. If that is factual, he's quite fortunate that the bear wasn't there to feast on his carcass.
Depending on what the season was, a bear will be renewing body fat and strength or
feeding and storing fat for the hibernation season. If it had just eaten another meal, the
bear would, most likely, have had little interest in another meal that size.

Posted by Ronin on May 8, 2011 at 6:05 PM