Slog
News & ArtsFriday, October 16, 2009
Politics / Media Glenn Beckwatch: I Miss My Childhood
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 16, 2009 at 1:37 PM
Hey, you! Glenn Beck misses the commercials of his childhood! Everything was so much simpler when he was a child. He misses his childhood so much that he wishes he could be a kid again. He wants America to elect Glenn Beck's dad for president because we have been at the party too long and we shouldn't have been there. We need to be grounded by Glenn Beck's dad. Because...(sob)...
The man is about five minutes and a bottle of gin away from developing an adult baby fetish.
2
A simpler time in America! When white men ruled the world and women and minorities knew their place.
3
Jeesus.... Has there ever been a time when some middle aged douche didn't lament the "simpler times?" Times are never simple or romantic. America used to be united around "basic things" (1:34) ? What basic things? WTF is he talking about?
4
i say it all the time but even last week is too close to slavery for me to be wishin myself back there.
6
there is no crying in wing nut talk shows!
wow this is like some weird republican performance art piece!
wow this is like some weird republican performance art piece!
9
Old white men think they grew up in simpler times because they grew up in a time WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN. Everything looks simpler when you're a child. But when Beck was a child, old white men were moaning about the same exact thing, how life was so much better when they were kids, no one ever had to worry about anything more complicated than where the next piece of candy was coming from. It's such bullshit.
14
Man, that was shitty on many a level. I'd like to drop him in a pot and boil him like a frog. WTF is he talking about!?!?
15
I have never watched his show, but I do enjoy seeing these little clips on Slog. Somebody tell me: at what point in the show does he get smacked up side his head with a sack of wet horse manure?
16
I long for simpler times when people and furniture were giant and when you lost a tooth it grew back.
18
one of Andrew Sullivan's readers sent in this:
According to Wikipedia, in 1979, the date of the commercial that made Glenn Beck cry, his mother drowned in a mysterious boating accident. His parents had divorced in 1977 and he then had to move to a different town to live with his father. His step-brother subsequently committed suicide. Keep those apparent facts in mind and watch the Youtube clip again.
head case
According to Wikipedia, in 1979, the date of the commercial that made Glenn Beck cry, his mother drowned in a mysterious boating accident. His parents had divorced in 1977 and he then had to move to a different town to live with his father. His step-brother subsequently committed suicide. Keep those apparent facts in mind and watch the Youtube clip again.
head case
20
you people are terrible!!!
ya know it's because he cares sooo much for this country that he's willing to show such honest heartfelt emotion in front of a national audience and all you guys do is mock, ya'll are radical mocking mockers.
he has the key to the city of mt vernon and yet you still diss him? for shame indeed.
ya know it's because he cares sooo much for this country that he's willing to show such honest heartfelt emotion in front of a national audience and all you guys do is mock, ya'll are radical mocking mockers.
he has the key to the city of mt vernon and yet you still diss him? for shame indeed.
22
the idealized past - what a tired, manipulative canard. i think GB's drug use has left him with brain damage. he's got that "dry drunk" thing going on.
24
Yeah, I miss the good old days of pizza, tmnt, and Madonna. Back when I'd stay up late to watch sexy George Michael and Janet Jackson videos on MTv and VH1.
25
This is the first time I have ever actually watched a clip of him. Wow.
I guess you would have to be a regular Fox viewer to have the slightest clue what the hell this is all about, that is - disgruntled but very confused and bewildered as to what it is you are disgruntled about.
I guess you would have to be a regular Fox viewer to have the slightest clue what the hell this is all about, that is - disgruntled but very confused and bewildered as to what it is you are disgruntled about.
27
I'm confused. I thought liberals were supposed to be the crying pansies that had done too many drugs. You are telling me this guy is now a leader of the so called conservative movement?
At least call it what it is: reactionary populism.
At least call it what it is: reactionary populism.
28
I love that this whining doughy pantload is the tearstained face of the fox network and the GOP, it just seems fitting.
I mean those that follow him are clearly delusional , though I gotta wonder; are they this unstable too?
I mean those that follow him are clearly delusional , though I gotta wonder; are they this unstable too?
29
The saddest part is, if we're really going to get through the next few decades of global warming and fossil fuel shortages and other resource shortfalls, we are going to have to "come home from the party" and make some sacrifices.
I'm not sure what party he thinks we've been at. Probably the one where we get to sing and make art and be ghey and have sex without guilt. That party can keep going on. All that stuff is pretty cheap, environmentally, and we're going to need to do something to stay warm when we turn the heat down...
I'm not sure what party he thinks we've been at. Probably the one where we get to sing and make art and be ghey and have sex without guilt. That party can keep going on. All that stuff is pretty cheap, environmentally, and we're going to need to do something to stay warm when we turn the heat down...
30
I saw that the clip is four minutes long, and couldn't make myself watch... Life is too short to spend that amount of time listening to Glenn Beck, and watching him spew drivel.
31
@25, I too just watched Glenn Beck for the first time, and have the same reaction. WTF is he talking about? And oh man, am I ever OVER the whole "simpler times" bullshit. Let's learn from the past and keep moving forward. It's called being progressive.
32
Someone PLEASE put together a Farting Glenn Beck compilation ala http://tinyurl.com/lcxd48 -- I guarantee a million hits minimum.
33
@9 - Hammer, nail, head. Well put.
@28 - Whining doughy pantload is my new favorite epithet for this loser.
@28 - Whining doughy pantload is my new favorite epithet for this loser.
34
If you'll provide the five minutes, I'll gladly donate the bottle of gin, if we can post the results on youtube.
35
Things were much simpler back in that more pure, more heartfelt time when television commercials were shot on 16mm instead of digital video.
37
Yeah, I totally hate it when I used to be out past curfew AND smelling like pot AND soaking wet with beer, and all of it was somebody else's fault ("you're at the party where you haven't done anything!"). Oh GB, everything bad that ever happens is always someone else's fault, isn't it?
39
I love his metaphor of coming home from a party smelling of pot and beer, because I was the kid who smoked the pot and spilled the beer! Fuck you Glenn Beck! I got you in trouble! And you're still crying about it.
40
Te man didn't want the damn coke. Jesus kid, where is your family. Leave the players alone you little freak
42
I can't make the effort to reel in that vid via copper phone wire, but ... huh? He came home smelling like beer and pot and it wasn't his fault? How in the hell is this credible given his long record as a drunken drug-gobbilng fiend?!
Colbert calls him, "The Silver Gopher."
Colbert calls him, "The Silver Gopher."
43
The hard choices...the *right* choices. By that, I can only assume he means healthcare reform, ending the war in Afghanistan and cutting back greenhouse gasses?
44
Nobody seems to have figured it out yet, but this guy's got a terrific scam going: he gets therapy, and he's getting PAID for it!! Hell, it's no wonder he doesn't care about people not having health insurance...
46
"The man is about five minutes and a bottle of gin away from developing an adult baby fetish."
Aren't all republicans? (Aside from the ones that already do...)
Aren't all republicans? (Aside from the ones that already do...)
47
I don't know what he means when he says "people were united back then.." at 1:32. I guess if you consider separate but equal to be unity, then yeah, the USA was really "united" back then.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
NYC Man Ticketed for Not Riding in the Bike Lane by Jonathan Golob
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (48) RSS