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News & ArtsThursday, October 15, 2009
Science / Nerd Come With Me If You Want to Live
Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 2:01 PM
The New York Times presents the most awesome theory ever about why the Large Hadron Collider hasn't worked properly:
Then it will be time to test one of the most bizarre and revolutionary theories in science. I’m not talking about extra dimensions of space-time, dark matter or even black holes that eat the Earth. No, I’m talking about the notion that the troubled collider is being sabotaged by its own future. A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.
If I knew science was this cool when I was a kid, I wouldn't be fucking around with books today.
(Via The Rumpus.)
1
Every time I fail to meet a deadline or turn something in that doesn't meet requirements, from here on out, I shall blame the future for not wanting it to happen.
Evidently, there's some dumbasses out there who will take such a joke at literal face value, if spoken with enough authority.
Evidently, there's some dumbasses out there who will take such a joke at literal face value, if spoken with enough authority.
2
@1 - Right, because the LHC is just packed with dumbasses who are just faking it.
On a more rational note - this would seem to be good news. If this theory proves out, it means the LHC works ... or _would_ work, if working didn't prevent it from working.
On a more rational note - this would seem to be good news. If this theory proves out, it means the LHC works ... or _would_ work, if working didn't prevent it from working.
3
...Or it could just be that it's a breathtakingly huge, complex piece of machinery and it's taking a while to work out the kinks.
But I admit that this "theory" would probably make a better movie.
But I admit that this "theory" would probably make a better movie.
7
#6 - By the logic of the joke: Cuz it won't find it. No reason to sabotage a failed experiment.
Dumbass.
Dumbass.
11
This theory was put forward by Connie Willis in her science fiction book To Say Nothing of the Dog.
12
There was a plot twist in the movie "Primer" where the inventors of the first time machine kept going back in time to try and prevent themselves from inventing it. Hilarious hijinx ensue.
13
Best line from that NYT article:
"While it is a paradox to go back in time and kill your grandfather, physicists agree there is no paradox if you go back in time and save him from being hit by a bus."
"While it is a paradox to go back in time and kill your grandfather, physicists agree there is no paradox if you go back in time and save him from being hit by a bus."
14
@11, a similar plot occurs in UW Physicist John Cramer's book Einstein's Bridge involving the Superconducting Super Collider project which was cancelled in the 90s. It has been speculated that this inspired the paper on the fate of the LHC. John Cramer even put together a proposed experiment at UW for testing retrocausality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocausal…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocausal…
15
This was floating around the internets yesterday. As science theories go, this one is made of so much awesome that I want to hug it.
You want to see an even crazier one, this gained some attention in science circles today:
http://arxiv.org/abs/0910.1589
You want to see an even crazier one, this gained some attention in science circles today:
http://arxiv.org/abs/0910.1589
16
That theory is impossible because the Higgs boson isn't alive and EVERYONE knows that you can't send unliving material back in time (unless it's covered with flesh. Or is a liquid metal terminator.)
17
I was just thinking about time travel the other day, and I realized that, in order to end up in the same spot on the earth, or even on the earth at all, one would have to travel not only through time, but also space. The reason for this being, or course, that the earth is rotating on its axis and circling the sun, the galaxy is rotating, and the universe is expanding, so the earth is never in the same place twice. I have never seen a time travel scenario take this into account.
18
Problem with this theory: the LHC energies are very small compared to high energy particles smashing into our atmosphere, so there is nothing remarkable about what they're doing compared to what's already going on in nature.
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@17: "Seeds of Time", by NW author Kay Kenyon deals exactly with that concept in time travel. It's good.
I'm certain it's out of print, so search for it at your finer local used bookstores, or www.biblio.com.
I'm certain it's out of print, so search for it at your finer local used bookstores, or www.biblio.com.
20
@18 matt! -- Except those "natural" collisions don't have fancy detectors to see the signature remnants of the Higgs. If you don't observe it, you don't collapse the wave function, hence no past/future conundrum.
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