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News & ArtsMonday, October 12, 2009
Life Why Does This Annoy Me?: Part One in a Series
Posted by David Schmader on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 1:53 PM
This just in from Stranger reader Adrien:
I ride my bike past a truck with this sticker on it everyday (it parks near Seattle University). I know I don't like the sentiment, but I don't understand what the sticker means:
Help me! I'm dying to know why I don't like this truck. Do they mean that, if it weren't for soldiers, we'd be taken over by foreign nations and be forced to speak their language? That just doesn't make any sense!I hope you can help me, Adrien
Dear Adrien: Happy to help. You do not like that truck because you can't handle the truth.
Seriously, it weren't for soldiers, we'd only be able to read bumper stickers in Lebanese.
1
Hmm.
One of these days I'm going to have to relearn Spanish.
Good thing our troops are busy learning useful languages like Farsi, Afghan, and whatever the Iraqis speak.
One of these days I'm going to have to relearn Spanish.
Good thing our troops are busy learning useful languages like Farsi, Afghan, and whatever the Iraqis speak.
7
I think Adrien's right (it means without soldiers we'd all be speaking German or Japanese, or whatever). Though, it doesn't make very much sense because the sticker is in English. Maybe the second part of the bumper sticker should have read something like Wenn Sie das nicht kann lesen, ich danke Soldat.
I saw a bumper sticker on an SUV the other day that kind of mystified me. It said "Legalize the Constitution." What the hell do you think that means? Also on that SUV: a sticker that said "Global Warming is a Myth."
I saw a bumper sticker on an SUV the other day that kind of mystified me. It said "Legalize the Constitution." What the hell do you think that means? Also on that SUV: a sticker that said "Global Warming is a Myth."
9
The Lebanese speak Arabic. Just like how Americans speak English, and not American.
And that's unintelligible gibberish in the bumper sticker.
Plus, i didn't know we were about to get invaded by Lebanon, which is smaller than the state of Connecticut and is on the other side of the world.
And that's unintelligible gibberish in the bumper sticker.
Plus, i didn't know we were about to get invaded by Lebanon, which is smaller than the state of Connecticut and is on the other side of the world.
12
9: That "unintelligible gibberish" is what you get when you enter the phrase "no fat chicks" into an English-to-Arabic translation thingie.
16
can you thank any soldier, like a canadian or an argentinian soldier? should i just go around thanking soldiers that i can read THAT bumper sticker in the language it was written in?
i think the reason you don't like the truck is because the sentiment of the sticker is both nonsensical and alarmist. it reflects a pretty hysterical worldview. not that there isn't plenty of reasons to be thankful for some of the work and sacrifice of soldiers, but the inherently anglocentric/xenophobic approach that this sticker idea implies is annoying, not to mention demeaning to the actual contributions of both teachers and soldiers.
i think the reason you don't like the truck is because the sentiment of the sticker is both nonsensical and alarmist. it reflects a pretty hysterical worldview. not that there isn't plenty of reasons to be thankful for some of the work and sacrifice of soldiers, but the inherently anglocentric/xenophobic approach that this sticker idea implies is annoying, not to mention demeaning to the actual contributions of both teachers and soldiers.
18
How many countries have actually tried to invade the U.S.? How many countries have attacked us without provocation? Let's see, that would be zero and one. Thanks for nothing, soldiers.
20
While the statement is true, it is the kind of stupid bumper sticker Bush supporters would have to justify the worthless Iraqi war. It's not about freedom or sacrifice. It's about justifying a useless war. That's probably why it makes you angry.
21
It's easy to cite bumper sticker platitudes like "if you can read this thank a soldier" - but unless you served then shut the phuk up about veterans issues.
Thank a soldier by ENLISTING so they don't have to go back a fourth or fifth time. Stop Loss = Draft.
Thank a soldier by ENLISTING so they don't have to go back a fourth or fifth time. Stop Loss = Draft.
22
Remember, for every Birther or TeaBagger that enlists, a soldier gets to come back from the Empire.
24
@18 On April 25, 1846 Mexico attacked (invaded) a contested territory in what is present day Texas. Sure the territory was contested but the American forces were the ones being attacked.
Also December 7, 1941 of course was the attack on Pearl Harbor which technically not an invasion but was an unprovoked attack. You could make an argument about scrap metal and oil and US held territories but I think 99% of us can agree the attack was unprovoked.
Also December 7, 1941 of course was the attack on Pearl Harbor which technically not an invasion but was an unprovoked attack. You could make an argument about scrap metal and oil and US held territories but I think 99% of us can agree the attack was unprovoked.
25
either all soldiers are now english teachers, or the second part should read something like "BECAUSE YOU ARE reading this in English, thank a soldier!" but even that doesn't make any fucking sense.
it's just a really, really dumb way of expressing a pro-military sentiment and an anti-non-enlish-speaking people sentiment in one crappy sticker. i'll bet it sells like hotcakes in texas.
it's just a really, really dumb way of expressing a pro-military sentiment and an anti-non-enlish-speaking people sentiment in one crappy sticker. i'll bet it sells like hotcakes in texas.
26
@1: Tal estúpido y bruto que sos, dudo que podás aprender el español. De hecho, no sé porque tenés la compulsión de hacer comentarios de cada puta cosa que aparece aquí en el Slog. A nadie le interesan tus idióticos comentarios. Me imagino que seas una de esas personas que no tiene amigos y busca en el internet un sentido de valorización porque nadie te sufre en el mundo normal.
Además, la palabra "relearn" indica que lo sabías en el pasado. Si lo supieras bien, no lo habrías olvidado, cabrón.
And for those first year students out there who are going to try to call me out on "podás": learn the fucking vos form, then learn it in the subjunctive, and then cork it.
Además, la palabra "relearn" indica que lo sabías en el pasado. Si lo supieras bien, no lo habrías olvidado, cabrón.
And for those first year students out there who are going to try to call me out on "podás": learn the fucking vos form, then learn it in the subjunctive, and then cork it.
27
In fact Japan actually occupied some Alaskan islands during WW2. Add to that British troops invading the US during the war of 1812. It's a dangerous world out there folks! If you can read this in English it's only thanks to $600 billion a year given to the military-industrial complex.
28
It annoys me because if the creator had paid attention to his English teacher, he'd have known that the capitalization used is wrong and makes no sense. It doesn't follow the rules for bumper stickers (which are normally in all caps) nor for a standard English sentence (capitalize only first word and proper nouns, there should be a comma after "this") nor for a title (articles should be kept in lower-case.)
If the guy who wrote this bumper sticker is going to live here, he should at least learn the language.
If the guy who wrote this bumper sticker is going to live here, he should at least learn the language.
29
@12: That's hilarious. if you ignore the spelling errors, the translator thingie gave you something more like: "no the baby chickens the fats"
A for effort, though. That would've been really funny for an Arab speaker to see that on the Slog.
A for effort, though. That would've been really funny for an Arab speaker to see that on the Slog.
32
Thanks, teachers, and thanks, soldiers.
You know why you deserve thanks, even if the Sloggers don't.
Confidential to Julie @ 7:
You know why you deserve thanks, even if the Sloggers don't.
Confidential to Julie @ 7:
Wenn Sie das nicht kann lesen, ich danke Soldat.translates roughly as "If you can't that read, I thank soldier." Also, "kann" should be "können" and should come after "lesen." If Hitler and his progeny controlled modern commerce and we all had to learn German, we'd be in trouble!
34
Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
Soldiers don't make armies, draft boards make armies.
Thanks, draft boards! Also, my eternal gratitude goes to Congress for instituting the draft, and for raising the taxes necessary to arm all those draftees. And a big smooch to the corporations who pitched in to sell all that vital war material at practically no profit at all. And thank you Hollywood for making the propaganda to keep everyone feeling warlike until the job was done.
And thank you, every one, mothers of the world, for not aborting all those future draftees when you had the chance.
Soldiers don't make armies, draft boards make armies.
Thanks, draft boards! Also, my eternal gratitude goes to Congress for instituting the draft, and for raising the taxes necessary to arm all those draftees. And a big smooch to the corporations who pitched in to sell all that vital war material at practically no profit at all. And thank you Hollywood for making the propaganda to keep everyone feeling warlike until the job was done.
And thank you, every one, mothers of the world, for not aborting all those future draftees when you had the chance.
35
"Seriously, it weren't for soldiers, we'd only be able to read bumper stickers in Lebanese."
you forgot "if"
you forgot "if"
36
@1 Iraq speaks mostly Arabic (south and central regions), and Kurdish (in the North). Afghan isn't a language, the two most common are Darsi (dialect of Farsi) and Pashtu, with a smattering of smaller languages.
39
Funny, I could have sworn King George III and the red coats were English speaking, too.
Onthaal aan Nieuw Nederland u onwetende vrachtwagen-drijvende dwazen.
Onthaal aan Nieuw Nederland u onwetende vrachtwagen-drijvende dwazen.
42
kk @ 32: You're welcome. (It's likely that you are thanking quite a few other Sloggers with your backhanded compliment as well.)
Sloggers tend to appreciate the work teachers and soldiers do while still managing not to be hysterically anti-immigrant and pro-war. This ridiculous bumper sticker claims to appreciate us for some wrongheaded reasons that you don't seem to grasp. Nuance!
Sloggers tend to appreciate the work teachers and soldiers do while still managing not to be hysterically anti-immigrant and pro-war. This ridiculous bumper sticker claims to appreciate us for some wrongheaded reasons that you don't seem to grasp. Nuance!
43
I hope Adrian prints this out, and places it folded, under the trucks' windshield wiper. And considering that these last few wars have only deeply damaged the entire world's view on Americans, to the point of me saying I am Canadian when in foreign countries, I think a big 'fuck you' to the entire Army is more justly deserved.
44
The Japanese also fired some shells at Santa Barbara from a submarine, and one of their balloon bombs killed some schoolchildren.
The Germans were working on very long-range bombers and also had a real program (not just plans for programs for) WMD's, specifically, an A-bomb, but they got a slow start on the project, thank goodness.
Folks who dig this kind of bumper sticker think every war is a war for national survival. Scary world! Scary world! They're all out to get us! If we don't stand up to them in Vietnam, we'll have to fight them in Pasadena! (Uh, we didn't have to fight them in Pasadena.)
Also, for these folks, all folks who wage war against us do it because they hate us, are jealous of The Freedom, and want to conquer us, and not for any political goals or nationalistic impulses based on anything to do with their own country, region, politics, or history.
Some folks just have brains like dogs. Friends and enemies, that's what they know, and all they know.
The Germans were working on very long-range bombers and also had a real program (not just plans for programs for) WMD's, specifically, an A-bomb, but they got a slow start on the project, thank goodness.
Folks who dig this kind of bumper sticker think every war is a war for national survival. Scary world! Scary world! They're all out to get us! If we don't stand up to them in Vietnam, we'll have to fight them in Pasadena! (Uh, we didn't have to fight them in Pasadena.)
Also, for these folks, all folks who wage war against us do it because they hate us, are jealous of The Freedom, and want to conquer us, and not for any political goals or nationalistic impulses based on anything to do with their own country, region, politics, or history.
Some folks just have brains like dogs. Friends and enemies, that's what they know, and all they know.
45
So--any soldier? Like, none of the ones who are alive?
And then, do I thank some ancient soldier for the existence of English itself, or do I thank a King? Or a Gypsy?
Someone help me, I'm supposed to be happy I speak English and not some dirty, dirty other language, like the majority language where I live, SPANISH.
And then, do I thank some ancient soldier for the existence of English itself, or do I thank a King? Or a Gypsy?
Someone help me, I'm supposed to be happy I speak English and not some dirty, dirty other language, like the majority language where I live, SPANISH.
47
I still have flashbacks to the Lebanese Invasion of 1987.
But beyond that, I hate the bumper sticker because it looks like an ad for Mike's Hard Lemonade.
But beyond that, I hate the bumper sticker because it looks like an ad for Mike's Hard Lemonade.
48
"English, the language of Jesus! Check out the Bible!"
I see one that says, "If you like Freedom, Thanks a Soldier." But it wasn't soldiers who got our freedom from England, it was everyday people. Printers, shop owners, farmers, silversmiths, blacksmiths and just regular people got us our independence.
I see one that says, "If you like Freedom, Thanks a Soldier." But it wasn't soldiers who got our freedom from England, it was everyday people. Printers, shop owners, farmers, silversmiths, blacksmiths and just regular people got us our independence.
49
@48, I think you have seen The Patriot one too many times. George Washington didn't chop down a cherry tree, Lincoln wasn't born in a log cabin he built with his own hands, and Paul Revere didn't win the American Revolution. Yes the Colonial Militias were invaluable early in the war (they were still a minority of US forces), but as time wore on their numbers fell while the Continental Army continued to grow. By the later years almost all militiamen were refusing to serve outside their home state (8 years is a long time, especially for someone who isn't a professional soldier), and even then desertion was high.
However, they did firmly establish themselves in the American Mythos.
However, they did firmly establish themselves in the American Mythos.
50
@43, were you born retarded, or just dropped on your head (repeatedly) as a child?
Under both the US Constitution (Article II, Section 2) and Federal Law (Goldwater-Nichols Department of Defense Reorganization Act of 1986 being the most recent) it is made as clear as can be that the President is the Commander in Chief of the military. The Army has no say in where it goes, or even what it does, it is only a tool that President, with the Consent of Congress, can use as he sees fit.
Blaming the Army for how it is used is quite simply as stupid as blaming a gun for how it is used... oh wait... I forget where I am... ;)
Under both the US Constitution (Article II, Section 2) and Federal Law (Goldwater-Nichols Department of Defense Reorganization Act of 1986 being the most recent) it is made as clear as can be that the President is the Commander in Chief of the military. The Army has no say in where it goes, or even what it does, it is only a tool that President, with the Consent of Congress, can use as he sees fit.
Blaming the Army for how it is used is quite simply as stupid as blaming a gun for how it is used... oh wait... I forget where I am... ;)
52
@33 --
Just in case anyone on Slog still believes Will in Seattle when he spouts ridiculous unsupported bullshit, the war between Texas and Mexico was not a Mexican war against slavery.
I don't care if you were born in the Alamo, you're still wrong.
(Texas was not part of the US at the time, so technically Mexico didn't invade the US during this war.)
Just in case anyone on Slog still believes Will in Seattle when he spouts ridiculous unsupported bullshit, the war between Texas and Mexico was not a Mexican war against slavery.
I don't care if you were born in the Alamo, you're still wrong.
(Texas was not part of the US at the time, so technically Mexico didn't invade the US during this war.)
53
@52.
Actually he's mostly correct. The reason the Texans declared their independence was that in 1829 Mexico abolished slavery, although an exception was granted to Texas until 1830. After that the Mexican government got more and more adamant about the Euro-Americans actually following the law, until eventually they were forced to declare their independence in order to keep their slaves, which they did. They were then joined by countless volunteers from other slave owning states (WIlliam B Travis, commander of the Alamo was from my native Alabama) who joined in with their noble cause.
Actually he's mostly correct. The reason the Texans declared their independence was that in 1829 Mexico abolished slavery, although an exception was granted to Texas until 1830. After that the Mexican government got more and more adamant about the Euro-Americans actually following the law, until eventually they were forced to declare their independence in order to keep their slaves, which they did. They were then joined by countless volunteers from other slave owning states (WIlliam B Travis, commander of the Alamo was from my native Alabama) who joined in with their noble cause.
54
And the Napoleonic aspirations of General Santa Anna? Or the Empire building Paredes y Arrilliga? Or Manifest Destiny? Or Daniel Boone's presidential aspirations?
The Texans declared independence from Mexico for many of the same reasons the Yankees declared independence from the English.
Saying it was about slavery is almost the same thing as saying the US Civil War was about slavery. Or the Vietnam was about a destroyer. Or the war in Iraq is about 9/11.
The Texans declared independence from Mexico for many of the same reasons the Yankees declared independence from the English.
Saying it was about slavery is almost the same thing as saying the US Civil War was about slavery. Or the Vietnam was about a destroyer. Or the war in Iraq is about 9/11.
56
There is a reason I said 'mostly.' Yes the Texians had other issues but the root cause was slavery even if it was couched as a 'States Right' issue (the main right being the right to own slaves). Just like the Southern States had other issues with the Federal Government (protectionist tariffs that benefited Northern Industry and and a taxation system that burdened South Agriculture) so the Texians had other issues. But they weren't the main issues. I mean look at your post. On one hand you say the Texians were against Santa Ana's Imperial Ambition, but then you say that support of American Imperial Ambition (which is all Manifest Destiny is, but put in nicer words) was also a cause. Obviously imperial ambition didn't bother them that much, as long the new territories were going to be slave territories.
57
54, I'm not sure you know how analogies work. "saying the US Civil War was about slavery.,," is accurate. It's not complete -- but it's not wrong.
So by your own analogy, the war between Texas and Mexico *was* a Mexican war against slavery.
____
And geez, didn't any of you take Washington State history? War of Jenkin's Ear? The Pig War?
So by your own analogy, the war between Texas and Mexico *was* a Mexican war against slavery.
____
And geez, didn't any of you take Washington State history? War of Jenkin's Ear? The Pig War?
59
worth noting that lebanese arabic is pretty different from official modern standard arabic.... and how they'd say 'no fat chicks' wouldn't be anything like what you'd get from the translation bot.... but if we were being invaded by lebanon, we'd only really need to know 'habibi' and some french.
61
@18 I guess they didn't teach you of about the War of 1814 in elementary school. The burning of the White House, which is they had to white wash it. The battle of New Orleans.
63
@44 The Japanese were much farther along in the development of WMD (biologicals in particular and possibly nukes than the Germans)just ask the chinese. They proposed using weather type balloons as their mechanism for delivering biologicals to the continental US. They would have used subs to deliver nukes.
64
@49 The distinction between the militia and the continentals is largerly irrelevant. Both were willing to fight and die for freedom.
It was that trait @48, not what did they did before or after service that mattered. It wasn't until after the repeal of the draft law that the US came to depend on professional soldiers rather than citizen soldiers.
It was that trait @48, not what did they did before or after service that mattered. It wasn't until after the repeal of the draft law that the US came to depend on professional soldiers rather than citizen soldiers.
65
@61- Yes, American independence was preserved in the war of 1812. Of course, we'd still be speaking English if we were still part of Great Britain, so in regards to the bumper sticker the Revolution and the War of 1812 are both non-issues.
And I'd rather thank our civil rights activists, constitution drafters, etc... for our freedoms. Frankly, soldiers get used for all sorts of things, and preserving freedom (and the English language) has been very low on the list.
And I'd rather thank our civil rights activists, constitution drafters, etc... for our freedoms. Frankly, soldiers get used for all sorts of things, and preserving freedom (and the English language) has been very low on the list.
66
Um . . . Sorry to be politically incorrect (oh, wait a minute - no, I'm not), but soldiers or no soldiers, we'll all be speaking Spanish 20 years from now. The war is happening right now, and we've already lost it.
67
(@66 5280) sounds like an alarmist, but I tend to agree with this statement from one of my favorite authors: It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so. - Robert A. Heinlein
69
@64 You can't on the one hand say that militiamen and not soldiers are to thank for x, then when pointed out that that was simply not true, claim that the difference between militiamen and soldiers isn't important.
When you get down to it, it was the professional military force of the Continental Army that slogged it out those 8 long years that won the day. The militiamen played their part, but they didn't win the war.
When you get down to it, it was the professional military force of the Continental Army that slogged it out those 8 long years that won the day. The militiamen played their part, but they didn't win the war.
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