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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

City Slog Polls Are Legally Binding

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 3:35 PM

And scientific. But we may have to make an exception and overrule the voters. Nearly 1500 people voted yesterday on the proposed names for the Capitol Hill/First Hill/International District trolley—way more people than have voted in Brendan's pick-a-charity-for-Strangercrombie poll (kinda sad)—and the winner, as of now, with 29% of the vote...

The TWAT, or TWelth Avenue Trolley.

But I may have to throw out the results of this poll. I just can't believe that the best choice—BUTT (Bidirectional Urban Transit Trolley)—is in fifth place with just 8% of the vote. BUTT is superior to TWAT because, hello, they're going to run this thing up the backside of Capitol Hill. Also, we don't even know for sure if the thing is even gonna run up 12th Avenue. And BUTT is unisex—everybody's gotta butt—and it totally rhymes with SLUT. The SLUT and the BUTT. Ride the SLUT, grab the BUTT. It's elegant, it's genius, it's poetry. The SLUT and the TWAT? That just makes us look like we, as a city, have some serious unresolved anger issues with women.

I'm disappointed in you, Slog.

Okay, now let's vote—and remember: Slog polls are legally binding.

Comments (38) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Totally agree. BUTT is clearly the best choice.

Posted by boxofbirds on October 7, 2009 at 3:22 PM

I didn't vote because I didn't like any of the choices.

Posted by Ride the CHOAD on October 7, 2009 at 3:25 PM

Acronyms that have to try as hard as these never catch on. Maybe something will develop organically, like, Not A Monorail, Bus or Lightrail Alternative.

Posted by elenchos on October 7, 2009 at 3:26 PM

hey! boys can be sluts, too.

Posted by beef on October 7, 2009 at 3:42 PM

You make a very convincing case for BUTT.

Somehow, It'd escaped me the pejorative "twat" refers to something quite specific. I'd always—and by always, I mean probably three times in my life—used it as a synonym for "brat". As kids, I think my sister used to call me a "little twat."

Posted by Dougsf on October 7, 2009 at 3:46 PM

I voted for BUTT in the first place. Voting again.

Posted by leek on October 7, 2009 at 3:56 PM

Dan, you are biased. You already prefer butt to twat.

Posted by Philly on October 7, 2009 at 3:59 PM

At the risk of dragging reality into the conversation, I must point out that while many people may WANT the trolley to go along 12th avenue, negotiations about the route have yet to (officially) start.

So maybe we shouldn't name it after a street it may not be able to go down.

(BTW it's forbidden to go along the northbound lane of 12th avenue anyway: big water pipe under there)

Posted by Andrew_Taylor on October 7, 2009 at 4:05 PM

BUTT is the better name, but not a very good acronym. It's too vague.

Posted by T on October 7, 2009 at 4:06 PM

elenchos won the internet today.

TWAT is licked!

Posted by The Amazing Jim

on October 7, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Some of us can't vote until we leave the office - the tech filter won't let the poll come through.

Posted by Hyzenthlayk9

on October 7, 2009 at 4:10 PM

I don't use the trolley, but I'm off to catch the Seattle Area Rail System.

Posted by slake on October 7, 2009 at 4:14 PM

SLUT: Story of Hope?

Posted by pox on October 7, 2009 at 4:18 PM

i wasn't with you until you said "grab the BUTT." now i'm onboard.

Posted by spoiler alert on October 7, 2009 at 4:21 PM

@7 I came here to say the same thing. I vote for TWAT. I enjoy TWAT. I like all TWAT, but only certain BUTT.

Posted by wisepunk on October 7, 2009 at 4:23 PM

All TWAT? ALL?

Ann Coulter's? Madelaine Albright's? Mary Chaney's? Joan River's?

All?

Posted by Dan Savage on October 7, 2009 at 4:28 PM

My twat. You can sign it.

Posted by Mr. Poe on October 7, 2009 at 4:39 PM

"Bidirectional?" Really?

Doesn't this describe every transit rout? There is no way this will stick unless you come up with something more specific to the route.

Sorry, BUTT is WEAK.

Posted by Free Lunch on October 7, 2009 at 4:40 PM

Totally should have been CLIT. People are waaaaaaay uneasy about saying this word. I love the thought of them having to say it every day.

As for the other choices: BUTT is way too boring, TWAT - not everybody knows, and CUNT is just too offensive. CLIT is *perfect* though. I bet you're even refraining from saying it right now because it makes you feel kinda weird. That's right: CLIT. Deal.

Posted by Confluence on October 7, 2009 at 4:43 PM

Face it, we all want CLIT or CUNT.

Well, almost all of us.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 7, 2009 at 4:44 PM

BUTT = Broadway Urban Transit Trolley
TWAT = TWelfth Avenue Trolley

That way, if it ends up going down 12th, it'll be the TWAT. If it goes down Broadway, it'll be the BUTT.

Posted by kibbies on October 7, 2009 at 4:52 PM

This is your typical city of Seattle vote. If the governing body doesn't like the outcome they just put it up for another vote. Can I get my Monorail yet?

Posted by it figures on October 7, 2009 at 5:06 PM

Since when is 12th ave the backside of Cap Hill? It's right up the middle. It's like the landing strip of Cap Hill? TWAT FTW!

Posted by Velveteen Robot on October 7, 2009 at 5:12 PM

Down the enemies of democracy! Keep TWAT alive. TWAT forever!

Posted by Vince on October 7, 2009 at 5:14 PM

I didn't vote for TWAT, so I'm totally cool with going with BUTT.

Posted by jade on October 7, 2009 at 5:37 PM

Of all the choices, 12th Ave Trolley was the least convoluted. All the others sucked. And if it ends up going down Broadway, we can vote again, this time with some better alternatives.

Posted by Renton Mike on October 7, 2009 at 5:40 PM

TWAT and CUNT are too offensive to too many people. I know a lot of women who have no problem having or hearing a potty mouth, but the room sort of freezes still when someone uses the C-word.

Posted by Bauhaus I on October 7, 2009 at 6:00 PM

I can't believe you just made a totally reasonable, fact-based and convincing argument in favor of naming some trolley the BUTT instead of the TWAT.

Most days you bug the hell out of me, Savage. Today, though, kudos.

I am voting BUTT, and I'll never ride the damn thing.

Posted by Grease Wizard on October 7, 2009 at 6:53 PM

@19 If turns out to be the name, I may have to visit Seattle after the line is built, if only to hear people ask, "Excuse me, can you show me where the CLIT is? I can't seem to find it."

Posted by Carol on October 7, 2009 at 6:59 PM

This is silly. How old and/or drunk are we?

Plus, all the choices suck.

Posted by thunderchaps on October 7, 2009 at 7:17 PM

@30 - Sorta old, kinda drunk, and getting more so.

Posted by Dougsf on October 7, 2009 at 7:22 PM

But what about the Bremerton Underground Traffic Tunnel!
The BUTT is ours!!!

Posted by Bummertown on October 7, 2009 at 9:49 PM

66% for BUTT

Posted by jimmy

on October 7, 2009 at 10:04 PM

I'm disappointed in you Dan (even though I dig what you do for ALL of us). TWAT rocks, and won fair and square!

Posted by timmy on October 7, 2009 at 10:30 PM

TWAT is better than BUTT. TWAT rules. It's all about TWAT. TWAT is what makes 95% of males get up and go to work every morning. Don't be dissing the TWAT.

I don't give a fuck about the poll, I'm calling it TWAT.

Posted by seandr on October 7, 2009 at 11:13 PM

And another thing - trains, ships, and the Starship Enterprise all are female ("Im giving her all she's got captain, if i push her any harder she'll blow").

TWAT it is!

Posted by seandr on October 7, 2009 at 11:47 PM

I want a loop that includes Twelfth Ave. Hence I vote for TWAT.

Posted by Valentein on October 8, 2009 at 8:28 AM

#3 FTW. That acronym is brilliant.

Posted by DJDeeJay on October 8, 2009 at 12:32 PM